in honour of ed and her mountain ranges.....
welcome to thread 3 - this is a support thread for anyone needing a hand to hold while they get through depression or any other mental health problems - long term or temporary. All are welcome.
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Mental health
Andes up - who needs a rock to lean on? Rock on over here!
966 replies
ThatVikRinA22 · 19/03/2013 15:27
OP posts:
HellesBelles396 ·
20/03/2013 21:53
well, readers, I left cubs...
until I feel well again anyway! been crying most of the day so will say more tomorrow. sleep is needed.
ColouringInQueen ·
20/03/2013 22:08
Hi Ed enjoy the wine .
Hi Silvery yes am lucky on the DH front! Oooh Penines - Cumbria sounds lovely.
Hello Helles good for you. Sometimes - and esp at the mo - we have to put ourselves first. Hope you have a good sleep.
TheSilveryPussycat ·
20/03/2013 22:28
Weardale is even lovelier imho but we keep this to ourselves round here Yes Cumbria is beautiful 
ThatVikRinA22 ·
20/03/2013 22:36
hello all.
a very warm welcome from me too CIQ hope you find this thread helpful. i also adore the lakes. we had our best holiday there. and our first holiday was in the dales. my dsis fave place in the world was gunnerside. im a real country girl at heart and would love to move to the middle of nowhere! we spent a few months living in the middle of rural suffolk....i adored it. would happily do that again.
helles - so sorry you are sad today, im sure you will be back at cubs when you are feeling able to. Think of it as a little holiday. (hugs) from me. it will be fine.
waves to everyone else - nana SPC ed basset mama and hopefully UA, boobs and anyone else i have missed because i have the most shocking memory lately....
productive day for me. i was going to have a lay in but i didnt. i had a facial, DH brought home some bread he had just baked that was heavenly....a rustic soda bread. it was devine. ate too much of it and then finished all the painting in bathroom. it is gorgeous. first time ive ever had a wonderful bathroom. ive folded and put fluffy towels in the towel rack. ran a lovely bath with some laura mercier bubbles and a glass of wine....
i have discovered the joys of a squeegee.....(yes. i am that sad!)
i rang and confirmed my interview today. (though im very conflicted.....as always, no idea what i want anymore.) still absolutely no word from work. ive been ready to go back now for 3 weeks. i think they are ignoring me now tbh. i get the feeling mental health problems are distinctly frowned upon within the force....people are respected for soldiering on. and im sad because i have always managed to soldier on. no one at work knows me. they will think im flaky now. and that saddens me. but there is sod all i can do about it so i need to stop worrying about it. i am dreaming about going back....and being totally and utterly ignored. probably not far from the truth. i think people will be resentful and think i have "milked it" even though ive only in the last few weeks felt like my old self....
oh lordy im rambling again.
right. off for a ramble round the boards. i must think of an easter name....
love to all. apologies if i missed anyone. x
OP posts:
ColouringInQueen ·
20/03/2013 23:06
Thanks vicar oh your dsis had good taste - gunnerside is beautiful . I can understand the temptation to move to the countryside too - I sometimes dream of escaping to the Isle of Skye! But I think I am looking at that with some romantic specs on as a lot of the time I think its side-ways rain...
I think you're doing brilliantly to go to an interview tomorrow. Can you just try and view it as good practice? Loving the sound of your bathroom too sounds like a great space to retreat to and pamper yourself. All the best for tomorrow.
ThatVikRinA22 ·
20/03/2013 23:09
thank you CIQ - the interview is actually in April...not quite tomorrow....so have a wee bit of time to prepare.
or worry!
OP posts:
ThatVikRinA22 ·
20/03/2013 23:15
you would be very welcome kitten....
thank you queenie....tomorrow i am going to the stables to spend the day playing poniios! think i have a riding lesson. i will stay for the day though and help out.
i will need my new bathroom by tomorrow night! 
OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat ·
21/03/2013 12:38
Very quiet here?
Have to get ready for dirty few days away, and then a visit to my DF and DM. Have long list. Am at level 3. But am MNetting 
mamakoukla ·
21/03/2013 14:47
SPC .... enjoy your time away!
Welcome to Queenie, OhYouBadBadKitten (I have enjoyed some of your weather threads) and a big wave to all. I am on level 3 and DD has reverted to level 1.
CIQ that is a lot of change; even though it may not feel like it under the circumstances - and you write that it feels as though there is no solid ground at the moment - you and DH are working your way through this and you are working together. You also sound self-aware, which is a useful tool to working your way through things.
Egg your positive and negative lists have been interesting to read and I have started to do the same and found it makes me feel better when I look back at the day. Re. the sleepover; I understand your worries and it is perfectly natural. How does DD feel about it and could you pose scenarios with her or see if she can come up with them and to decide what she would do in those situations? At the end of the day, you know her best but if she does go I would make it a condition that she phones you up if things are not right. If her personality allows, I would let her go, give her the opportunity to work it through if necessary, but letting her understand that walking away fro ma bad situation isn't about losing or being scared. It is about protecting yourself. As she has spoken with you about the bullying before, I would pick it up from there. Don't make a big issue, keep it neutral, and as Nana wrote, try not to let your anxiety come through.
Nana I am really glad you asked us to write a bit about ourselves. There was so much written across the previous threads that a summary was helpful for my little brain. I hope HM is on best behaviour and the new meds are working well.
Snowy a big hug, 
and 
to you if you're reading.
Hugs to UA and SirBoobsalot
(I hope I haven't missed any of the regulars; hugs to all reading).
Bugs I have really enjoyed the chats you and others have been having about the Pennines and Lakes. I keep thinking I need to visit one day and that has intensified the thoughts. Kindness is often overlooked; sometimes simply being acknowledged or a quick smile can make such a difference. I am glad that your path crossed with that of the GP who has helped you.
Vicar it is only fair to feel apprehensive. I am terrified at the thought of being in a working relationship; I have done some volunteering to re-introduce the idea of working with others but in my mind it is not quite the same thing. Ultimately, whether with the police or elsewhere - you seem to now understand that the job is not worth sacrificing yourself for. It isn't about failure; it's about self-preservation. Some thing don't work out. There is no bad decision but give yourself a 'get out of jail free' card perhaps if you decide that whatever it is simply is not worth the cost to yourself. Enjoy the stables and the bathroom. (I want fluffy towels and a pretty bathroom now! That is a positive thought )
Helles that must have been a tough decision. I know that both yourself and Egg put a lot into cubs and brownies and so many children and families have benefited; taking a break when you need it is a good thing. I think it is better for you and them rather than trying to keep on going when there's so much going on and you don't feel that it is getting your 100 %. Knowing when to give yourself space is important.
my theme today seems to be about boundaries, self-preservation and giving yourself the time and space. (scribbles down Note to Self)
DD is on day 6 of being unwell. She had another fever yesterday and was very sleepy so we went to see the GP and now we are watching closely over today as she is fairly limited (some sneezing, coughing, redness in ears and nasal passages but no obvious cause).
ColouringInQueen ·
21/03/2013 17:33
Hi vicar how was your day at the stables - hope you got a ride in!
Thanks Mama yes my Doc said I had good insight which I am hoping is helpful! Hope your DD recovers soon. There do seem to be some nasty viruses around this year - my DCs have each been off for 5 days with a fever, cough etc...
Have managed to go to college today to paint (oils/acrylics) and produced a good pic so that's satisfying Now just have do get through the 3-8pm kids slot inc dyeing two t shirts as DCs have to wear green 2moro. Have never dyed anything before so really hope it works! Anxiety rears its head in this circ so am doing a lot of deep breathing...
all the best everyone.
Bugsbasset ·
21/03/2013 18:29
Enjoy your time away SPC . Agree about the very beautiful Weardale . Four seasons in one day and breathtaking but secret oh yes
Helles what is up ? you sounded so distressed in your post. Sending a hug to you and hope you slept and a new fresh day gave you some strength and peace .
To be a CUB leader must be very full on and with all the health and safety /parents /pressure /politics in the group never ending onslaught I imagine? Think you are wise to take a sabbatical from it all . .Thinking of you.
Vicar really pleased to read that you have interview. You have a lot of transferable skills .......useful skills .........communication skills ........so many.
Maybe this work is lower paid but if it is within the NHS then working up the ladder is always there . Lots of jobs are advertised internally first . Not surprised at lack of mail from the police sadly Vicar. This govt are not listening to the front line officers . Maybe they will when riots break out this year or next and no police available/on strike if it comes about .
Loving the bathroom transformation chat. . And the horses . You sound despite the stress of work hanging over you , more like yourself as I imagine you were and always have been .
Mama I love your posts and the thought put into them . I have firm image in my head of you and it is always calming..though guess you may not feel it .
I read and want to come round to yours and sit on a cushion . Erm not a stalker . You must be worried about your DD . They are so vulnerable when unwell and you must be fretful . Hope the doctor has reassured you and the wee one is back to annoyingly good health soon bless her . I am mother to two adult sons .....and the invisible umbilical cord is always there and pulling me when they are unhappy /unwell . You must think about a visit back to the NORTH one day Mama .
Now where the blazes is Egg/Ed ? You ok ? miss your diary as it keeps us all in line . Hope you are alright .
Where is Nana our feisty lovely mentor ? Hugs online friend if life is hard at the minute and the meds are kicking in . Thinking of you .
Snowy how are things with you ? I cant imagine what you are dealing with but am I right that you have firm diagnosis now ? So hope that you have people with you to chat to and share a pizza/film with while getting the support and meds to recover and get home again soon
BadBadKitten hope you join us and welcome from me .
Funny thing this internet. I have been very down . DONT CARE down . yes aggressively so so sorry for caps . But this thread has now got me thinking about maybe getting the oomph to paint my hall [vicars bathroom chat]. I am thinking about maybe a day out to the lovely places I live near thanks to the chat about the landscape around me .Take a picnic .
CIQ So nice to read your mails ......intuitive and kind. Ah the isle of Skye was one of my dreams also . Nowt wrong with dreams . x
ColouringInQueen ·
21/03/2013 19:49
Wow can't quite believe it! I have 2 leaf green t shirts for DCs tomorrow . Time for a celebratory creme egg I think!
ThatVikRinA22 ·
21/03/2013 23:20
evening everyone - i hope everyone is ok? it is a bit quiet here today....helles i know you have a mid week post embargo but i do hope you are ok after your post of yesterday....
no summary from ed today either so hope things are ok there too....
nana not posted for a day or two either, so hoping HM is behaving.
SPC - do enjoy your dirty weekend away! dont do anything i wouldnt do! i cannot wait until DH and i can have the odd weekend away....we have waited 23 years!
love to snowy and hope you are starting to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel....though i know that can take a while.
im just about to go to bed as i am truly shattered. been burning the candle at both ends a bit plus i have been at the stables all day, lots of hard work and fresh air plus riding. Am shattered. Have had a bath, and am now trying not to fall asleep in front of Question Time.....
well done on the Tshirts Queenie! (hope its ok to call you that....its too long to type colouringinqueen everytime!)
kitten if you are still lurking i hope you are ok....do join us if you feel able.
basset and mama - thoughtful and intuitive as always. You are both so caring.
im just going with the flow for now. What i suppose i had wanted was the opportunity to just go back and test the water a bit - i think i will know fairly soon how i feel about the job if i go back....but im worried i will be forced to make a decision before that happens, should i get the admin job. I did say it had my name on it due to the very specific skill set it required....but who knows. i wont be the only candidate. maybe fate will decide for me. The only down side is its half the money. but hey ho. cant have it all.
Im back at the stables on Sunday. another riding lesson too as only did a part lesson today really (its harder than learning to drive! so much coordination needed and lots to think about at once),
if i get there early enough on sunday i could tack up, but today have done lots of mucking out, water buckets, turned out a few horses, groomed, picked feet, partially tacked up my ride (im useless with a bridle!) but got the saddle spot on today....rode, then untacked (fine with that bit!) put rugs on the ponies and tied up hay nets. Was quite chuffed as i love the horse i ride, she is a gem, and as i was doing up her rug she rested her head on my neck for ages....like a horsey cuddle, very sweet, i so want my own. There are 14 at the stables, all have their own personality, I talk to them. Sometimes they answer I left at gone 7. When im there i lose track of time and end up there until riding instructor goes home too! its a long long day but it just flies past....i wish i could find paid employment that i enjoyed as much. Ive not seen DH today at all.
DD has decided to not do A level now and do a BTEC at college - for the last few days she has been a nightmare, moody, stressed, today she seems to have a weight lifted. She was more like the DD i know and love. She hates exams, she puts herself under immense pressure, so this probably makes more sense. She certainly seems more relaxed.
right. off to bed, have hair appointment tomorrow if the snow stays at bay. If its snowing its getting cancelled! too far to travel in snow....
OP posts:
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