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Mental health

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Original poster

I shouldn't be posting

220 replies

mosp · 21/12/2011 22:06

and I don't know why I am. I don't have a clue who I am or how I am. I feel just awful, but can't describe it. I am not a real person.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 22/12/2011 00:32

you are on psych med,you see a nurse, you are known to them

motto ham duty team call them 0115 8765600

Bossybritches22 · 22/12/2011 00:33

I don't know mosp, talk as little or as much as you want I guess, I just feel you need to talk to someone a little more qualified than us to help you.

AugustMoon · 22/12/2011 00:33

That's true. It's self-preservation. Was your friend talking about the same event that you can't really remember or just about faces and colors?

Original poster
mosp · 22/12/2011 00:34

I don't know what to say. I don't want to move.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 22/12/2011 00:35

I suggest you call duty team,no one on mn can sort this
given what you've posted you must be known to them

Bossybritches22 · 22/12/2011 00:35

I know you are sweetie, but I think it for the best, you are known to them & therefore they'll be able to respond.

You have come halfway to calling them by coming here, we're right behind you.

Original poster
mosp · 22/12/2011 00:35

oh no, he doesn't know. he was just talking about his blindness. totally in the dark. I just saw an analogy

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 22/12/2011 00:38

Just get the phone, maybe you could just tell them your details & then the feelings as you told us tonight- keep the MN page open if you like to read from to describe your thoughts.

They'll not expect you to be able to converse freely.

Original poster
mosp · 22/12/2011 00:38

I know what they'll do. I've been taken to the crisis team before late at night. they are only interested to find out if I am a risk (to myself). If not, they don't want to know. really.

OP posts:
AugustMoon · 22/12/2011 00:39

Oh, ok. That's very sad that he's lost his sight. How did that happen if you don't mind me asking?
The others are right, you should try to talk to someone in rl. You can still talk here if it's helping... I think you came here for help.

Bossybritches22 · 22/12/2011 00:40

OK but maybe you still need to talk to them, each time is different.

Original poster
mosp · 22/12/2011 00:41

I'm so bad on the phone anyway. One of you phone and ask if anyone can cure me right now...I bet they can't.

OP posts:
AugustMoon · 22/12/2011 00:42

And if you say you just want to talk? It might help you feel real, or feel whatever is on your mind is real in spite of your memory being unclear. Would they really only care if you are a risk?

scottishmummy · 22/12/2011 00:42

august no one lost sight no one is blind,it's analogy

Bossybritches22 · 22/12/2011 00:44

They are not there for a cure, bet they wish they could, but just to try & help get you through this immediate bad place you are in.

Then maybe tomorow you can get an emergency visit from a MHN. Show him/her this thread if you can't put it into words.

Original poster
mosp · 22/12/2011 00:45

yes, friend is really blind. when he was talking about forgetting, that made me draw an analogy.

he was already registered blind, but could detect a little light and shape in one eye. then he had an accident with a cupboard corner that punctured his 'good' eye. now he's in total darkness.

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 22/12/2011 00:47

So you feel you are in total darkness?

Darkness & light are christian analogies aren't they? You mentioned earlier you are a Christian, do you get any comfort from this?

scottishmummy · 22/12/2011 00:47

mosp have you used the duty no yet
your situation requires face to face ax, mn isnt a solution
there is no cure, and any interaction will be done away from mm

Original poster
mosp · 22/12/2011 00:47

I don't want to be difficult, but really really really, no one can help. I'm not upset. I'm nothing. absolutely nothing. I won;t kill myself because I'm not real in the first place. nothing will change anything. this is the way it is. I'll just float through the days

OP posts:
Original poster
mosp · 22/12/2011 00:49

the analogy is the forgetting. he wonders how long until he forgets. made me realise that i can't keep the truth in my brain from 14 years ago. it must be distorted. sorry, I'm not clear.

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 22/12/2011 00:49

no mosp you are not being difficult but you DO need help to get a hold on this, it is clearly distressing you.

What about the DC's how are you coping with them?

Original poster
mosp · 22/12/2011 00:50

I need someone to rescue me and tell me who I am

OP posts:
Original poster
mosp · 22/12/2011 00:51

I sent the dds to school in september. so i just need to get through the evenings with them. they worry.

OP posts:
AugustMoon · 22/12/2011 00:53

That's awful. Your analogy was very true either way. Something terrible happened to me and I feel like I can't really remember exactly how things happened and now I'm walking around as if everything is normal except it's not and never will be ever again.
How are you feeling now? Do you think you might be able to call the number?

Bossybritches22 · 22/12/2011 00:53

That is what the MH service is for, they will help YOU to see who you are again, but it will take time. However nothing is going to change unless you get expert help.

We can & will listen but honestly picking up that phone would be a big first step towards getting better.