Keziah, City, Choc et al support thread

[Keziahhopes]

Hi - found us a new home. Just didn't like the title of my old thread - and have found your support so helpful but would also like this thread to be less egocentric .

Choc -hope cbt assessment goes well.

City - how are you doing?

My physio exercises are helping me, but don't see stroke consultant until beginning of July. Still not had OT assessment, but dont' think will need it by then - just been horrible for dh to do everything for me since Easter. Now more independend - just had my first shower by myself!!

I think you'll feel better once you've written the letter , luckywinner, otherwise you'll have a sense of not having finished things properly , which will make you more anxious .. I did giggle at therapist's likely reaction if you gave her the news in person....

Sending healing vibes , Keziah ... how much worse must you have felt after explaining on phone , long , careful explanation & discussion ... sorrry , didn't mean to sound negative last night about the apparent infection , was just the way it "came out" .
Sinus pain really is vicious , one of the most sympathised - with pains on MN ,I notice

Baby's "popping" sounds / sensations sound adorable but of course you'll be on edge for bigger movements around this stage . Seems very reassuring that lw has similar timeline of wiggling progressing to more obvious movements

Hope you're having an OK morning . choc , though it may be a contradiction in terms at the moment !
Sorry not proper post - very busy here and sendig positive thoughts

Hi - well 26 weeks today. This baby is no footballer I tell you that!! But some popping feelings midday today which is first time in a while so am a bit less anxious. Lucy - changing psychiatrists is a sensible idea, but this is a new one - last one went off ill, had a locum or 2, one retired etc etc. There is no option right now where I live, and and because I am wanting to avoid being under the mother and baby unit I am keeping out of their way right now and pretending all is "ok" whether it is or not. As know no support forthcoming, and no change. Never had a decent psychiatrist - due to staff changes had 3 in 2 years. Agree some people are brilliant and some shocking!!

Sinus' - well dh and I agreed it was an infection, read letter from my immune dr - realised that if not pregnant I am meant to take a certain amount of a certain antibiotic and have some at home for that reason. So we decided to do that so that I have antibiotics in me, the safe ones I was prescribed for pregnancy and I see the Dr tomorrow so they can then say what to continue with. Know have an infection, so hopefully this will stop it. I don't mind the pain, but don't want it to spread.

Happy 26 weeks , precious Baby !

Massively relieved you & DH have found a safe way to look afer yourself till see consultant, Keziah - not just because controlling infection is so vital for you , but because the stress of being unconvinced by yesterday's GP is bad for you too . ( am great believer in knowing your own body though , obviously )
We are determned to sympathise with your pain , whether or not you 're being stoic !

So glad you've felt a "popping" today

Right , my favourite astrologer warns us all that Mercury is retrograde at the moment, so triple - check all arrangements & expect things to go comprehensively wrong in getting to appointments , so fingers crossed for you tomorrow , Keziah

Hope we all have a peaceful evening , and particularly that choc Is feeling well today xxx

Evening all . Just a very quick one from me to let you know I had a fab day yesterday! Now totally worn out (as was dd). She certainly went straight to sleep last night.

Good to hear about your popping baby Keziah. I'm sure the kicking will start soon (and then once it does it won't stop ). Dd was a right kicker and I was certain she was a boy. Not so good about your infection though (the walk-in centre sounded a nightmare, I haven't had the pleasure of one of those).

city thanks for the tips. Will have to go searching when I get a chance. So glad Keziah got in there first with the wait until after the workmen before cleaning - I was going to say exactly the same thing!!! Hopefully there won't be too much more mess afterwards .

Hope you're feeling less guilty now luckywinner about the message. I'm with city - I think you'll feel better once you've written the letter. Do you know whether baby is girl or boy? You must feel you're on the final straight now (with Keziah not far behind).

Sweet dreams to us all xx

choc - so pleased you had such a great day - and look Christmas smiles!!

City thankfully appointment with consultant was all ok (they were late, but that is usual) and this consultant said "yes, blocked sinus - is a problem, want samples for lab then we will change antibiotic when have results, in meantime I will prescribe you some herbally/menthol steam inhalation thing which i have never done before, but will!!!" Gosh, the attitude of staff is just so different and the right attitude is transforming with stress etc.

And had a lovely evening last night so feel much better.

Hope everyone can have lovely weekends. Severe frost here, so car scraping time - wonder if we will have snow anytime? I am keen to avoid, due to bump making poor balance even worse, but it is pretty!!!

choc shivers at the thought of snow! It's freezing here too but luckily no car to scrape . < choc is on a mission to see how many Christmas smilies she can use in one post .

Glad appt was ok Keziah and that you've now got lovely menthol steam inhalation to do (city clearly on the ball again then ). Let us know whether it works. Glad you had lovely evening. Today has been ok for me although I'm back to feeling a bit spaced out (think I exhausted myself Weds ). Hope this evening has been as lovely for you as yesterday. < raise [fwine] [fwine] to the weekend > xx

Oh no there's no Christmas !!!

Please forgive my not posting at all but after workmen came to sevice gas appliances first thing Friday I needed to sleep , then the PC froze totally & only DH can (teorarily) fix it , but was at work till early hours , so I could only read updates ., which I really appreciated as was worried about infection , Keziah, & hoping choc was feeling an improvement on the new dosage .. Then I slept till afternoon again & we rushed out as realised I could just make a meeting , so not back till evening . ( no cyber cafe where we went ).

Brilliant news choc that you had such a good time on Weds , and Keziah that your infection is being analysed & monitored so best treatment can be given . A doctor who relly listens & tries to tackle problem makes an amazing difference - sorry you were caused such stress on Weds. So glad you found that guidance / antibiotics so were able to safely keep infection in check.

Sorry choc , saw your lovely post Thursday night but was too wiped out after frantic cleaning then slept all day ( I may have mentioned this! ) Hope the spaced out feeling was a temporary thing .

Glad you had a brilliant evening . The balance thing is so scary in your situation as you don't realise till you have this problem how incredibly unpredictable it feels . I think you have an elbow crutch ? I sometimes use a stick but think crutch would be better for balance , or I bet you won't like this idea {sad], how about a sturdy wheely frame for frosty days now getting big ? Don't forget the type of grippy things you can put on your shoes , or boots waith grip soles .

This is my favourite time of year & have loved living here for the time being as in a picture postcard place for winter , . This time last year I went out to the bin at bedtime & found myself standing in drifts of snow , and we were able to walk round all this new snow at midnight looking at the local church & allotments with thiese icicles & patterns I'd never seen before as it needs to be extra cold I think for them to form . Was the first time here for a generation - all the 20 year oldss were building snowmen for the 1st time that week . Sorry for soppiness !

Hoping your infection is rapidly diminishing , Keziah , and that you've had a good day , choc xx

city sleep sounds good, hope you can have more of it to catch up. Think will be down to elbow crutch and my wellies if pavement frosty. Though it has disappeared (frost) for now. Oh wasn't it beautiful last year - took me back to childhood fun in snow and big icicles. We had icicles outside our kitchen windown here last year for weeks - stunning!

Menthol and Eucalyptus steaming helping, but having horrible nights with sinus' right now... so hoping it goes. Cancelled plans for this am and having a day at home, on sofa and directing dh doing jobs.

Last therapy session next week, it has gone so quickly. Something to look forward to is a scan for baby to see if it has grown enough; by my sudden increase in girth I am hoping baby has grown!!!

So - anyone put their tree up? Too early for us, not yet written a card but am tempted to make the house look pretty!!!!

Sorry you had to cancel morning plans but do approve of the directing your DH from the sofa , Keziah . Massive sympathies for sinus pain , which you've been stuck with for so long . Glad inhalation was prescribed but makes my eyes water to think of those painful nights . The only thing I can think of to maybe help a bit is electric blanket or hw bottle/s to keep you extra relaxed & maybe able to sleep through more of the pain ? I expect turning up heating in bedroom would maKe congestion even worse .Perhaps breathing exercises would help if ony you could breathe I wonder if there are any safe - in pregnancy accupressure points for this pain ?

Ah , must dig out some links for sole grips etc frosty pavements
at you being a fellow icicle fan , Keziah. I came to UK from v hot country & was so happy to havbe able to play in deep snow our first winter here . Glad you live in an area which turns extra picturesque in the frost . Did dd have any snow to play in last year , choc ? < visions of poor choc pulling teatray sledge for hours >

Very sorry to hear you have the last of the therapy sression this week . Very hard to go without help again .The only glimmer of consolation might be that you feel a bit more supported now ? There are so many things unfair about all this I don't know what to say . I did find that I felt more confident / validated when I thought back to the sessions I had with really supportive counsellor , in my early 20s , so that's what I meant by saying I hope you feel more supported .It shouldn't be just you & DH fighting through the nonsense .

Ooooooh , hope the scan shows you useful info , above all that baby is growing nicely . < tries not to smile at mental image of Keziah turning aptly to Santa shape >

Oh yes , give in to decoration temptation ! Haven't yet had time to get to the Xmas tree seller in town used to live in , who saves us a bushy tree , cheaper than most places... We never know when we'll have to move to a sensible micro flat with pale carpets where a real tree would be even less practical than it is here
< invites choc to hang one of dd's handmade deccies to make our thread look pretty >

Laughs galore on this thread !!

• Santa Keziah (btw I turned into the size of a bus, from a UK 8/10 and dd was only 7lbs, I must have been carrying a heck of a lot of water!!).

• I haven't made any handmade deccies with dd . Oh well there's still time .

• As for snow, I hate the stuff. Yes we did get lots last year and I refused to go in it . I just used to usher dd outside the back door into the garden if she wanted to play in it. She never lasted long though - kept complaining it was wet and cold, lol. Sensible girl .

• No (artificial) tree up here yet either (would love a real one though city). If I can summon the enthusiasm, I'll hopefully put it up next weekend . Actually I just want to wake up in February. Just don't know why I can't face Christmas this year.

< choc sounds a right bah humbug >

So glad to hear you've been resting finally city but are you sure gas men didn't set up a carbon monoxide leak ?

Hope last session goes ok Keziah. It's good the inhalations are working. I'm tempted to do a tea tree one to ward off this next cold that keeps threatening. I seem to be getting one a fortnight at the moment .

Really enjoying this wintry chat Just sorry it takes me so long to post atm . I had a gut feeling you weren't keen on snow , choc ice but am cracked up at the thought of you ushering dd outside to play in it - and as for her not liking it

Poor you having had that huge pg weight gain choc , it all seems very mysterious to me , & can't imagine what pregnancy feels like . . . though after a few years on MN I reckon it sounds horrific ! < in awe >

Oh yes , here Keziahhttp://www.yaktrax.co.uk/ orwww.supaprice.co.uk/p/result.jsp?ga=uk11&q=shoe+gripper

Not totally surprising you don't feel like Christmas after such a traumatic year , but it is a poignant thing to feel flat during the festive season . Hope you can enjoy some rest and a bit of very quiet frivolity to recharge your batteries . I love artificial trees too < child of the 70s >
How are you doing with fatigue on the V ? Are the spaced out feelings decreasing at all ?

How are your poor sinuses , Keziah ? Will it be a while before the test results come back telling if you're on the right ABs ?
Really hope scan goes OK
< hands choc and & Keziah gingerbread persons and hot mulled apple juice >

that was a Freudian slip , "choc ice"

Hello, how is everyone tonight? Just got back from a mammoth trip round Asda. Hoping to wear out my legs as I have been really suffering from restless legs. Its hideous. Keziah have you had that yet? Worst pregnancy symptom ever in my opinion.

So I just officially 'dumped' my therapist by leaving a rather rambling message on her answerphone. I need to write the letter. I think I will do that tomorrow. It has made me feel so panicked, despite going on to see another therapist, who I imagine the old one feels she does the devil's work. CBT and psychotherapists don't like each other do they?

Keziah I have to say I feel quite on your behalf, even with a father xmas hat on, especially as you are in such a vulnerable place being pregnant. Before all the budget cuts I was offered support/counselling from the peri-natal team. Do you think you could be eligible for anything like that?

Choc and City, hope you are coping ok in your corners of the world.

Before I started any therapy all those centuries ago I used a book called Mind over Mood. Don't know if anyone has come across it but it is v good. Pretty much CBT in your own home.

Hi luckywinner, restless legs looks miserable ... DH has always suffered horribly with that - seems to be his body's signal to go to bed that very second ! His family all have it . I've seen Mners recommend lying with legs up against a cool wall , but you're probably too far advanced in pg for that to be a safe posture ? There's a section on restless legs on a neurology forum , which I can't remember atm < racks brain >

Keziah has a very sensible reason to keep her head down with the mh team , having faced prejudice and outright lies relating to her disability ( I know the feeling ). I thnk it's a hellish balancing act for her, fighting for the help you need whilst not appearing as if too greatly in need at such a significant time of life . Glad to hear the peri natal team offered support . How are you feeling this week ?
I find I feel massively better after facing the type of task like your letter writing today [solidarity - in - a santa - hat - emoticon ]

There are of course fundamental conflicts between psychotherapy & CBT but I think some psychotherapists might be pragmatic about a short course of CBT ? < very naive > Being outright displaced by CBT might cause upset , of course , but am sure your previous therapist wishes you well & may even hope for your return once you've realised the error of your wamistake ( whereas I expect you've moved on and find the idea odd already ).

Ah , I remember using Mind Over Mood years ago , will see if I can find it again , thanks , & the big David Burns CBT manual - need to find it for my DM , who has anxiety & phobias & refuses to get help .

Hope you're feeling quite a bit better with infection , Keziah ? [f ] Thinking of you with that and the scan this week xxx

Hope you feel less tired this week , choc , and please don't push yourself too hard - I always feel as though you're exceptionallys sensible with that . Please remeber to allow yourself some frivolity - do you feel up to mild diversion ? I think you 're like me in enjoying a meander round crowded places < not in freezing weather , shivers choc >

May we have only have need of to use our jolliest Xmas emoticons today xxx

I'm really sorry if I am blundering in with stupid suggestions btw. This is typical me. Trying to help everyone and can't even sort myself out. My perinatal team shit as told me although am allowed to deliver baby at their hospital, am not allowed any of their services as out of catchment area. Ummmmmmmmm....
I beside myself with the fidgets today. Legs twitching, itchy skin, v anxious. Am v stressed about changing tbh. If cbt doesn't work I am stuffed.

lucky - I am not even allowed a referral to perinatal team, no mind about deliver wherever a team is. Don't think that is unusual.

Ouch for your itchy legs, thankfully that is one thing I don't have yet. Blocked sinus, stuffy nose, runny eye and hearburn is enough for now. Would moisturising help itchy skin - it has me, when I remember.

Bad, bad evening. Spent day in bed, not asleep. Emotional outburst at dh who has failed to do the one thing I have needed him to do for me since Sept, tonight he said "I don't think there is a need" but it is the one thing that could help - but he has decided I don't need it. Being cryptic as no point saying what it is as it can't happen unless he sorts it and he knows best for me, obviously.

Hello all < choc ice waves frantically >

I don't remember any of my pregnancy ailments except first trimester nausea, needing the toilet loads and panting up steep hills (I was fine on the flat!) . Sorry Lucky and Keziah that you seem to have been handed the short straws on that front.

Oh Keziah you've left us all wondering what it is that you need to happen. I hope DH changes his mind whatever it is you need him to do. Hope you feel a bit less emotional tomorrow. You too lucky. Unfortunately change is stressful. I haven't heard of Mind over Mind but I didn't do too well with face-to-face CBT. If you have specifc issues or thoughts I think it can be really useful. Give it your best shot. I'm inclined to believe that actually you spent too long with your previous therapist so maybe this change will in the long run benefit you .

Ah dear city. I'm still tired but all self-inflicted recently. Suffering with the horrible morning syndrome then gradually brightening up early afternoon, reaching a peak about now then being on overdrive! (Plus the couple of hours it takes to pluck my hair!). I need to be stricter with myself and sort my sleep hygiene out (urghhh I hate that phrase!). I don't think I've been to sleep much before 4am since last Friday . Then yesterday I had major panic that next week is last week of school (stupidly I hadn't realised). I'm so not ready. I feel like I'm still recovering from half term. Lucky how do you do it with two and one on the way?

Unfortunately, I hate crowds city. At my worst they bring out the worst in me. I get very agitated and feel like shoving everyone face down on the pavement . Hmm think probably need counselling for that . As for you DM, has she agreed to try the manual? That's promising if she has.

Hope tomorrow is a better day than today (obviously not you city if you've had a good day today ). I'm seeing gp tomorrow so it could go either way. Also, have to do some christmas shopping, arghhhh! xx

So sorry to hear that Keziah but honoured thst you share it with us , I know it sounds a bit icky but the way you talk about this one thing you need done really reminds me of certain events in my life , where no one seems to believe me about x or y situationand what needs to be done next for basic safety or minimal peace of mind . n& how ift feels when the one person who is usually "get" you , doesn't . Used to drive me to absolute despair . I'm wondering what advice we can give , & willing your dh to se sense sso you feel calmer . Actually though , I'll just say I reckon things turn out as they are "meant" to ( I know , that's what we fear ) hugs and prayers

What a lovely post , chocice Will try posting again in a bit as have migraine visuals dancing over the screen
xx
Please don't put yourself down luckywinner - suggestions are gratefully received here . Really hope you get some sleep . Is the itching on your legs only , ccos if trunk etc yr GP will want to check your blood sugar < sorry , back to egg sucking class for lw > Maybe you need the GP anyway if so uncomfortable all the time?
Peaceful night to us all xxx

Oh no just lost entire post whilst pasting from Notepad
No time to rewrite , sorry to be so rude , but am thinking of you , Keziah , hoping choc's GP appt went OK ( bit nervous for you ) and sending lw calming vibes

Your description of self on a bad day coping wiyt bustle made me shriek , choc

Thinking of you all xxx

Oh no city indeed . Next time remember to 'copy' and 'paste' rather than 'cut' .

Appt went ok: -ve was advised against taking quetiapine as and when (so I won't take it at all) but +ve I can have more diazepam. After the appt was more traumatic though as I decided to go do some christmas shopping. Although it really wasn't that busy after an hour or so I got quite freaked out and started suffering more physical anxiety symptons . Oh well. Will try some more again on Friday.

Hope all is well with you all. xx

Off to see my gp - amazingly gp was free and I am fed up of being ill and it is making me so low, cried for 3 days solid.

also - success, have had a different midwife offered to me who may possibly do her job in a way that helps me, you never know (ie actually see me!!!) - only advantage of crying lots and not being able to stop (I never cried before bfp)

Here's a hug, Keziah. Crying is such an ordeal. How was the gp? I'm guessing it's to do with the infection. I find I don't cry so much since taking ADs. Sorry what's bfp?? Yes I can see why a midwife actually seeing you would be useful. Was I just lucky that I saw the same midwife all the way through including the birth?

I never did make it back out to do Christmas shopping. No matters though - I just did it from home on the internet . Much more pleasant . Hope the weekend brings improvement. xx

Thank you for updating , Keziah . So sorry you've had such a long time feeling ill - must be awful for you to feel so low about it . ((( ))) on the need to cry so often . Can't imagine how rotten it all is . So hope GP was some help < worried >
Midwife sounds promising ... have seen lots of MNers saying not seen nearly as often by midwife as supposed to be

Been thinking of you & choc but been unable to post due to recurring computer virus which DH has had a real job to clean up ( or whatever the word is - I need to learn more teccy stuff )
So sorry losing post on Weds ( turned it into code - I don't know why ! ) Will have to come back to finish post later as need a rest , sorry - you did brilliantly to talk it over with GP and that's the sort of thing which gives me very physical symptoms of panic , too - ((( )))s to you too .

Aha , just missed you - sorry if you didn't feel up to going out shopping , but hope it was just more convenient to do it the lovely internet way , and that you sleep OK < empathy with compulsion to saty up very late > .

Hope lw feels better after hard week

Hope we're all OK today < fret fret >
Peaceful evening xxx