Abortion, im so scared

[wonderingwendy]

I just found out last weekend that im pregnant and I can't/don't want this baby .I am 34 and have 3 kids already ages 15, 12&7.
im having such bad anxiety about what is to come.i have seen gp and got the ball rolling and have an appointment for a dating scan and chat with a doctor/counsellor? this Thursday , im so scared of the scan what if I see the baby and change my mind ? even though every fibre in my body doesn't want to keep it.
what procedures will they offer me ? I must be put to sleep I will have a panic attack otherwise.
I also want to be sterilised at the same time, will that be possible ?
if any of you have experienced abortion please could you advise me of what is to come.
I think im about 7 weeks

[Queezy]

Thinking of you today gnome

[sj73]

Thinking of you too Gnome. Hope you are as ok as you can be. Lots of love.

[MuffCakes]

I've just got off the phone and I'm booked in for a surgical on Friday. I just wanted the quickest option. Feel relieved this weekend I'll be back to normal and be able to go back to work.

I'm not being put to sleep just sedated.

[wonderingwendy]

im pleased for you muff
how are you gnome ?

[MuffCakes]

Wendy I've been readin back through the thread, do you mind me asking why you had to wait so long? I'm getting slightly worried as I'm booked in Friday but I will only be 6 weeks and a few days. I don't know if it's because they referrered me to Marie Stopes but now I have visions of being told on the day I'm not far enough. But surely they would know this when they booked me in today. I think I might ring the number and double check.

[wonderingwendy]

its ok I don't mind you asking.
I was 5weeks at my dating scan so as I wanted the general anaesthetic option and would have to have it done in our nearest hospital as I couldn't get to a marie stopes clinic, I had to wait until I was nine weeks (their policy) just to make sure they didn't miss the pregnancy ifswim
longest wait of my life.
im sure your dates will be fine as a few other ladies on here had the same as you around the same gestation.

[MuffCakes]

Oh ok, they did offer me ga but that would of been at least a week more here.

Thank you for starting this thread Wendy its really helped me and thank you [sj73] for the medication recommendation it's really helped have managed to do 2 loads of washing today and have a cup of tea, where as before I couldn't move off the sofa.

[catmadmum]

Muffcakes - I was 5+4 when I had my procedure so you should be fine.

Wendy - I was told to test after 3 weeks but wasn't given a test. Xx

[mineofuselessinformation]

Gnome, I do hope you're ok.

[wonderingwendy]

are you ok gnome .thinking of you

[sj73]

Hi Gnome. Would really like to hear from you. Hope you are ok. X

[sj73]

Muffcakes: lots of luck tomorrow. Hope it goes well.

[MuffCakes]

[sj] thanks, I'm really nervous now. I'm panicking because I can't eat anything tomorrow and food is the only thing (apart from those tablets they do help) that stop me puking. Its at half 8 in the morning so all that rush hour traffic stop start stop start. Then I have to waitfor my DM to be on her lunch break to be able to pick me up and take me home.As they said I should be finished in 2hrs that means I'm going to waiting around for about 2 hours after.

I'm also worrying because they booked it in marie stopes, on the phone they went through the options, when I said about marie stopes they said they only book in there if theres more then a 10 day wait for the other 2 hospitals. When I said just please get me the quickest whatever option surgical or medical she said well marie stopes have spaces friday shall I ring and book you in. So I'm now confused to as whether I'm paying or not. I rang back bookings line and the lady said if I didn't get charged for the phone call then I'm not being charged at all.

Argh what if I get there and they say they're charging me but I don't have the money to pay for it.



this time tomorrow will all be over.

[wonderingwendy]

good luck tomorrow muffcakes
I don't think you will be asked to pay well I hope not anyway.
be strong its nearly over xx

[sj73]

Hi Muffcakes. I was like you. Really really sick and eating toast was the only thing that stopped me from spewing. I was worried about the nil by mouth rule too. I went to bed the night before and asked my partner to wake me up at midnight with some cheese on toast so at least my stomach felt slightly lined the next morning. can you do this? Set your alarm?

You won't be billed. You will be an NHS patient unless you are from overseas and don't pay national insurance. I was worried about this too as it all seemed to be going so smoothly and they didn't ask for any details except for my postcode. When they ask for you post code I think that's too find out which PCT funds you. I didn't go through Marie Stopes but through BPAs and I wasn't charged. You won't be so don't worry.

Good luck. It will all be fine.

[MuffCakes]

Yes toast has saved me on so many occasions! I will eat before I go to sleep.

I'm also quite worried about the whole procedure, the one I had before was awful. I was wheeled into the room before I was put out, my legs up in stirrups and 4 men in the room looking at me fanjo first.

My DM said I could stay overs tonight and I wish I did now, feel quite worried and lonely

I know I'm doing this for he right reasons, I want to do it I just don't want the procedure or any type of procedure. I could so stic m head in the sand right now.

[sj73]

Oh bless you. This time tomorrow it will all be over. I actually felt much better on the day knowing that it was going to be over and things were in motion. The waiting was the worst part. The stirrups bit is horrible. I got a bit hysterical but to be honest, it was quite nice just going to sleep.

There is absolutely nothing to worry about. You'll be in the hands of professionals who do this every day. Just get up tomorrow and go through the motions. You will be fine. Can you watch a film or something to take your mind off things?

[MuffCakes]

I'm trying to keep in mind this time tomorrow I will be having a very large glass of wine and not feeling sick.

I'm not being put to sleep just slightly sedated.

It will be fine just nervous.

[catmadmum]

Good luck tomorrow muffcakes. It's great that you got such a quick appointment. A large glass of wine will be in order tomorrow. Hugs xx

[wonderingwendy]

they should give you enough sedation that you won't be aware. just look forward to all those hormones leaving your body and enjoying Christmas.

[sj73]

Yes it's quite amazing as the sickness goes straight away. Look forward to feeling better.

Cat and and wendy: how are you both doing?

[MuffCakes]

cat I think it could of been because I really stressed to the nurse how hard I was finding it, taking time unpaid off work and struggling with the dc so much while feeling so ill. I'm just so bloody grateful it will be sorted before christmas.

am off to wash my hair and shave my legs and the to bed, but thank you all for listening and support.

[wonderingwendy]

yeah im ok thanks. rage has passed but still bleeding slightly and having night sweats.
a little teary but not so bad.
yes the sickness went straight away , my spots cleared up over the last week and boobs have gone down and not so sensitive anymore. oh and im not tired now
will be thinking of you muff makes me laugh muff muff

[UnknownGnome]

Hi everyone. Sorry to worry you all. I just sloped off into my own little world for a while. I also noticed a couple of deleted posts and suddenly became aware how open this forum is. I'm pleased i didn't see what they said.

I'm feeling much stronger now. The past few weeks have been a blur of heightened emotion. I'm more confident that it was the right thing to do now but i feel sad that it ever came to it.

Good luck muff

[UnknownGnome]

And thanks for the pm, Wendy. Sorry to have worried you.