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Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

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Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Family planning

Abortion, im so scared

275 replies

wonderingwendy · 01/11/2013 18:04

I just found out last weekend that im pregnant and I can't/don't want this baby .I am 34 and have 3 kids already ages 15, 12&7.
im having such bad anxiety about what is to come.i have seen gp and got the ball rolling and have an appointment for a dating scan and chat with a doctor/counsellor? this Thursday , im so scared of the scan what if I see the baby and change my mind ? even though every fibre in my body doesn't want to keep it.
what procedures will they offer me ? I must be put to sleep I will have a panic attack otherwise.
I also want to be sterilised at the same time, will that be possible ?
if any of you have experienced abortion please could you advise me of what is to come.
I think im about 7 weeks

OP posts:

Report

wonderingwendy · 04/11/2013 21:57

thankyou for that .im sure i won't regret it.bug Nether the less it will be hard emotionally.
I don't want my dh there , my little sister will come with me .
is that weird. I geuss I feel angry at him even though it took two.

OP posts:

tiredteddy · 06/11/2013 16:22

How are you doing today Wendy?

wonderingwendy · 06/11/2013 22:39

im ok apart from a stinking cold. have my dating scan tomorrow so will let you know how I get on.
Thanks for asking

OP posts:

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 07/11/2013 07:02

Morning Wendy hope that it all goes well today, will be thinking of you

wonderingwendy · 07/11/2013 12:58

so it didn't quite go the way I thought.
they couldn't get a good look from scanning my tummy so I had to have an internal scan .they found me to be just five weeks so because I wanted the surgery option I will now have to wait another four weeks
im so upset and I cant work out my dates I was sure I was further on my last period was on the 20th Sept? ??
anyway im booked in for the 6th of December.
I was told I was too overweight to have it done in the day surgery unit so I have to go to the main hospital.
I asked if I could be sterilised and again was told I was too overweight so I came out completely humiliated

OP posts:

SunshineSuperNova · 07/11/2013 13:04

I'm so sorry love, that's horrible.

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 07/11/2013 13:31

Did you discuss the pill method and your concerns around it? Could they not offer you that plus some Valium or something?

tiredteddy · 07/11/2013 13:36

Oh you poor thing. Can you go back to GP and ask for nhs referral to marie stopes clinic? They should be able to see you before 4 weeks. Really feel for you x

basgetti · 07/11/2013 13:40

Hi OP you can self refer to Marie Stopes and it still goes through the NHS without you needing a referral, you just give them a ring and you can have your entire consultation over the phone. I considered a termination recently and was given the surgical option as long as I was over 5 weeks with Marie Stopes, it included sedation.

SecretWitch · 07/11/2013 13:48

I'm sorry you are going through this. I had the vacuum aspiration method at 6 weeks. I was given IV sedation. Cramping and bleeding continued for me for about a week. Interestingly, my intense pregnancy symptoms disappeared almost immediately.

The entire procedure was about 20 minutes. I was at the clinc for about three hours time. I went home afterward and slept for the rest of the day. I booked two more days off after that.

I will be thinking about you..

wonderingwendy · 07/11/2013 14:38

four weeks

OP posts:

Stropzilla · 07/11/2013 14:51

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. Hugs.

jessandme · 07/11/2013 14:57

OP can you not afford to go private. Someone close to me took surgical option at 6wks. They were booked in 2 days after consultation. She has no regrets but felt 2 days was a long wait. Really not up to date with NHS in this regard but think 4 weeks is a long wait.

SecretWitch · 07/11/2013 15:03

Wondering, my apologies. I completely missed your post where you said you had to until Dec.6th. My heart goes to you. I would have felt humiliated too. Trying to cope with an unwanted pregnancy and being told you do not meet weight requirements for day surgery feels soul destroying.

I wish there was a way for you to go private. You have not said if that is an option for you?

wonderingwendy · 07/11/2013 15:34

there is no way we could afford to go private we have three kids to provide for and Christmas is coming and I haven't brought anything yet

OP posts:

SecretWitch · 07/11/2013 16:18

Dang. So you must wait until the Dec.6th. So, you do have a solid date for the procedure. I know that one month is going to feel like eons to you. What are some things you can do to distract yourself in the mean time? Can you begin making your Christmas plans? Sorting yourself out for the holidays? I know pregnancy symptoms can make you feel tired, sick and overwhelmed. Can your DP take over a great amount of responsibility so you can rest?

I know you are feeling very frightened and disappointed about the delay in your appointment. Please know many of us have been through this situation. We will try to support you in whatever way you need..xx

jessandme · 07/11/2013 16:38

Yes OP please keep coming back to the thread if you need support.
I personally would go back to GP to see if there is any chance of an earlier appointment at a different hospital or clinic. You would have to have another consultation but the type of abortion you want is available from 7wks on NHS so your wait must be down to waiting time at that hospital.
Can't do any harm to ask Gp anyway.

wonderingwendy · 07/11/2013 16:56

feeling so exhausted with the whole thing , physically and mentally.
cant believe I have to wait another four weeks.
four weeks of tiredness, sickness, sore boobs and a mega spotty face and chest and its all for nothing.
I didn't anticipate that I was only five weeks.

OP posts:

Branleuse · 07/11/2013 18:53

it will be fine. I had an abortion under general, although it was 20 years ago, and i was in and out the same day and never regretted it. Dont feel guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty for.

Branleuse · 07/11/2013 18:54

The wait for the procedure is hard. Is there any way you can scrape the money together to get it done quicker??

wonderingwendy · 07/11/2013 22:11

none of my family have that kind if money either, we have bad credit too

OP posts:

wonderingwendy · 08/11/2013 12:05

can ypu tell me your experiences of the medical option. it terrifies me but im not sure I can wait another four weeks

OP posts:

JuliaScurr · 08/11/2013 12:24

I had surgical method about 30 yrs ago; GA does wipe you out a bit

No experience of medical method

Discuss it with drs as much as you need

Sorry it's so shitty now, but you will be OK

TheWanderingUterus · 08/11/2013 13:06

Is it worth ringing up Marie Stopes or similar and asking whether you can self refer and either have it paid for by the NHS or in small monthly instalments? Or go back to the GP and lay it on thick about how this is making you feel and see what they can do. I went through Marie Stopes three years ago and paid nothing, I had a little slip from my GP, not even signed or anything. I have no idea how that worked, but if you could get that too then you could get it out the way sooner.

Four weeks is outrageous.

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 08/11/2013 13:23

I had the medical method 2 weeks ago. There was pain from cramping but manageable and over that day. Bled for a week.

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