My mother is dying and I'm racing to get to her - no point to this thread.

[SphincterSaysWhat]

That's it really.

We're abroad and she's in the NE England. She has had a massive stroke and I'm alone, racing to the airport to get a flight I might miss.

I want to see her before she goes. She's no conscious.

My sister is with her.

My heart is broken into one million piece. No need to respond - I'm just alone (husband back at resort with the kids) so just chatting I suppose. I've had an hour sleep overnight, I look like an actual muppet (crying eyes).

She is 73 and a fire cracker. She's remarkable. My heart is broken.

I know nothing can make this easier for you but it's so lovely that she has such a surge of love behind her from your family and friends. And I'm so pleased you have good medical care where you need it.

This is going to sound odd, but the Irish are brilliant at this sort of thing. My Lovely Man (London Irish, lapsed Catholic) (we didn't live together) would have loved a party at the end of his life, as he did all through it. Sadly, things didn't turn out that way, and he died away from home. His DC had a lovely wake over here though, IYSWIM. Just like one of his parties in the old days.

Thanks for the opportunity to share my memories 💕

I am in the NE, and there are loads of people of Irish heritage here, also there are loads of the "original natives." All lovely, IME.

@Ratfinkstinkypink I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's death. I'm glad the end was peaceful enough. You must have been through some trials before then x

@SphincterSaysWhat it sounds like your mammy is having a beautiful, peaceful ending surrounded by love and faith. You're still very much in my thoughts.

How lovely you are both surrounded by family and love. Sending all my best.

Sending you so much love OP, you have are being amazing and so strong even if you haven't seen it. Sharing music with you through these last moments is wonderful. OP I want to give you a handhold, hugs and kisses xxx

I'm glad you made it. Love to you, your mum and all your family.

@SphincterSaysWhat what ages are your children? Mine were 9, 7 and just about to turn 3.

We took the elder two to say goodbye to their granny on what turned out to be 2 days before she died. We felt it was important to do that. It was probably the most heartbreaking moment of my whole life, because my mum hadn't been able to communicate for days, but she cried when they hugged her and told her they loved her.

I'm crying now just thinking about it.

My mum had cancer and my eldest in particular was very angry that we kept it from them until nearly the end.

Thanks all, you have me in tears here. I don't feel alone (I'm alone in mum's house but not lonely).

My kids are 11-16. We have told them what's happening, they know. They sent her videos from our holiday (the one I was scooching home from) and I played them to her. I don't think I'll bring them in. She's not as they'd know her - she actually doesn't look like herself. Her breathing is unusual (perfunctory) and she is slack in the mouth, with build up that they occasionally now (thanks to a previous poster who said it wasn't necessary) suction away. The room doesn't smell nice, despite the window we try to keep open. She's also bashed up from the fall when the stroke/bleed first happened. I think it would be a haunting image for them. She was with us last week (week before now?) and so they have a nice memory.

I've just had a sneak peek through her photo albums. She has telegrams in there from her wedding!! Amazing. I didn't realise she was so sentimental. I'm not at all, and thought I got that from her!

@SphincterSaysWhat, this may well sound weird, but has anyone told your Mum it's ok if she wants to go?
It's an unpredictable thing - some people like to be alone, others want their family with them. (My DDad waited to be alone, but hung on to go just as we arrived back to see him, DMum waited until we were all peaceful and calm and then.. just went.)
Sorry if that's a bit blunt, but IME, and also my DSis's (she's a nurse) it does help - as much as you would want her to be able to recover, I'm sure.
I'm sorry for what you and your family are experiencing. It's a hard place for anyone to be in.

This is true. And she may also wait until you aren't in the room, that's quite common too.

She's gone. Peacefully this morning with her sister holding her hand.

We're ok x

So sorry for your loss OP. Thinking of you all

RIP. I'm so glad it happened that way. Still holding your hand from a distance, @SphincterSaysWhat, you have a lot more to get through now. It's tough. Look after each other.

So sorry @SphincterSaysWhat 💐

So sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry. I'm the same age as your mum and I'm so sad that her life has been cut short. Your love for her shines through and will sustain you through the years ahead.

So sorry for your loss, my own Dearest Mum went the same way, she had a stroke on the Friday and we spent virtually 3 days at her bedside. We popped home at 6.30 pm on the Sunday and had a phone call 20 minutes later to say she had passed. We like to think she went alone so it didn’t upset us. She was 75, still sadly missed every day, 17 years later.

I feel quite privileged to have known about your dm and the family-and love - you all shared.. Sorry for your loss op..

I am so glad that you arrived in time to see her and say goodbye. She is at peace now.

Sorry for your loss.

Glad you managed to get there and be with your mum.

So sorry for your loss Op. I'm glad you were able to get back before your mammy passed.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope her passing was peaceful. It will be a huge comfort to you in the coming months thst you were able to be with your Mum in her final days.

I'm very very sorry OP. 💐

I'm glad you got the last few days with her.

Take care in the coming days, try to eat small amounts & drink lots of tea / coffee / toast / biscuits if full meals are hard. It's a really physically draining time.