My mother is dying and I'm racing to get to her - no point to this thread.

[SphincterSaysWhat]

That's it really.

We're abroad and she's in the NE England. She has had a massive stroke and I'm alone, racing to the airport to get a flight I might miss.

I want to see her before she goes. She's no conscious.

My sister is with her.

My heart is broken into one million piece. No need to respond - I'm just alone (husband back at resort with the kids) so just chatting I suppose. I've had an hour sleep overnight, I look like an actual muppet (crying eyes).

She is 73 and a fire cracker. She's remarkable. My heart is broken.

Thank you, that's really useful and kind x

I hope you have a peaceful night with your sister and your Mum. There was a lovely thing on radio4 earlier this week about the end stages of life, made it sound very peaceful and normal, and not scary at all- the woman who'd written a book about said that there was pretty good evidence that hearing was the last sense to shut down. I'm sure that even if she can't see you or talk to you that she will know that the two of you are there, both for her and each other.

Sending love and hugs. This was me last summer. My bolshy, outrageous, charming mum reduced to a fragile body. My dad and I fell asleep by her side and she passed. Earlier in the day had been upsetting with choking episodes but once they got the driver levels up she was peaceful. We had time to say goodbye as did you. Hang onto that. She loved you and you loved her. Family relationships are not simple and irritation is frequent but the love is always there.

I'm so sorry OP. I remember well those final hours with my dad.

You'll be glad in time that you made it back. The shock of what's happened is terrible, I know but please don't be thinking back over anything you did or didn't do; your mum wouldn't want that & it sounded like you both loved each other & knew it.

Sending you love on this very difficult night 💐

I'm so sorry. Sending love and peace ❤️ I'm glad she has you.

I’m so glad you made it. I’m so sorry this happened to your mum, she sounds amazing. Sending you lots of love. Xx

Thoughts and prayers 💐💐

Dear OP, she knows you are with her, and that is the best comfort you can give your DM. Late to this, but so glad you made that flight. If your DM wants to slip away quietly, let her, hold her hand and reassure her that you and your sister will take care of everything. This is the best we can wish for in this finite life.

My DPs have passed, but in both cases I had to take a last-minute flight. My DM had taught me how to read, so I read to her as she slipped into a coma. My DF loved sitting in the sunroom while I tapped on my laptop and listened to the radio. I'm glad I could recreate that scene for him aurally, even though he was past speaking or seeing.

Do what you can now, OP. Your DM will be so happy to hear and feel your love.

Sending all of you so much love. 💖 xx

💐💐💐

Sending endless hugs & prayers for your whole family x

So sorry you are going through this. I'm so glad you got to her in time though. She won't be in pain, I'm sure the syringedriver is topped up with lots of goodies to keep her comfortable. The suctioning sounds very tough to witness.
I went through this recently, I made it, but my brothers didn't, managed to tell her we all loved her and she should go when she was ready. 2 minutes later she was gone. It's hard when they are such strong amazing women

Oh you poor thing. What a nightmare. I'm glad you've made it there and hope she passes peacefully.

Its a good reminder that you just never know what is around the corner. I live a long way from aging parents. This is a good kick up the bum I need to get my flights home booked for a visit next spring. Time is precious.

So sorry you are going through this it is so so hard but you made it. I did the same dash from overseas and your adrenaline is just pumping with that fear you are not going to make it.
Just express your love to her now in this time you have left, talk to her and hold her. My heart aches for my mum even 3 years on and I question living overseas even and losing that time I could have had with her in the last decade of her life but it's just how life turned out. Your mum will be getting comfort from you being there and feeling your love for her. Say everything there is to say.

I'm sorry for your family and Mum.

Just checking in to say I hope you and your sister are doing as well as can be expected. Thinking of you.

Also just checking in. This thread has really touched me. So very glad you are there with your Mum x

Hi all,

Yes, she's still with us. I have been 'home' (I.E. to hers) and showered and changed into clean clothes.

It's weird, like she's just popped out.

She's more comfortable now. They have upped her meds so she's less rattly and her face seems to have relaxed out.

She's wiry though, this one. Strong and very, very stubborn!

My aunt is flying over so she'll get to see her tonight. It's so sad for my aunt, she's now the last woman standing in her female siblings. Or she will be soon enough.

❤️

Thank you for the date. It’s great that your Aunt will be here with you soon. 💐💐💐

I'm glad she's more comfortable now. Look after yourself xx

That's good aunt will get there. Have you eaten?

@SphincterSaysWhat said:
My aunt is flying over so she'll get to see her tonight. It's so sad for my aunt, she's now the last woman standing in her female siblings. Or she will be soon enough.

My sweet, someone has to be. Us older ones know it is coming eventually, and we stave it off to the best of our ability. However, we would much prefer to die before our DC. For us older ones and our friends of similar age,, it becomes a question of which order. It's OK.

Glad to hear that she's more comfortable and that your aunt is coming. Your beautiful mum will be surrounded by people who love her.

She can hear you OP, my Mum certainly could in similar circumstances. Speak to her, it will help you xxx

Thank you. Dying in the right order, it's the best we can all hope for. x