The Cockroach Cafe Mark 2 (general coping with oldies)

[yolofish]

Morning all! regulars or newbies, coping with your oldies is a frustrating, exhausting and difficult business however much we love them. The Cockroach Cafe is open to all, a place to vent, rant, ask questions, get advice, and hopefully laugh too.

For newbies: why cockroach? My DM attended a 'small animal event' in a nursing home, and was presented with a "small animal with a hard back" the name of which species she couldn't remember. My ever helpful DB suggested cockroach, and it has become a toast on here. So cockroach mes amis/amies, and may you all live to fight another day.

Wrong thread, sorry, I’ve reported it!

Calibration drift. Meh.

Sorry for your loss quirrels

quirrels

Thanks folks.
I only joined this thread recently and I wish everyone all the best in coping with their oldies. It does feel like everyone I know is in the same boat at different stages.

Thanks quirrels

How are you?

I'm ok thanks Autumn.
Mum had frequently mentioned that her funeral plan was in her notebook. I looked for it today and sure enough every last detail is specified, even where we are to hold the tea. It was hard reading all that but means we don't have to think about what music to use or where to hold the service.
I'm okay with the legal / admin stuff but not so much the people. Mum was a social extrovert all her life with all kinds of groups and interests. She knows everybody in town. Mum would have stood up at her funeral and performed a fabulous eulogy. I wish I could but I couldn't do the same.

quirrels so glad you know what she wants- I am sure you will do her proud.
🌺🌺

quirrels my dad was the same. Loads of people at the funeral who I didn’t know from a bar of soap.

Also he was very good at making speeches.

I just figured getting myself and mum through the day was enough!

Mum in an odd mood today. Having failed, obviously, to get me interested in marriage and children, she‘s now concerning herself with great nephews and nieces. Bizarre.

Oh @quirrels I'm so sorry.

With the eulogy could you write something and get someone to read it for you? I wrote a tribute for my dad but my husband read it for me.

Quirrels I'm sure whatever ever you do/day on the day will be fine. Nobody is going to be giving a score.

MIL finally came home on Friday as they couldn't arrange suitable transport on Thursday. FIL was refusing to talk to DH for a couple of days because he had the temerity to disagree with him, but he phoned yesterday.
Dad has his cataract op last week. Turns out when mum spoke to me she got the dates confused and told me his op was when her echocardiogram is and vice versa. Another couple of weeks until her appointment.
Annoyed with DB1, the golden child, my parents moved to be in the same town as him and looked after his kids loads after school etc whereas an evening with a few weeks notice was tricky to fit in for us. He has announced that he plans to take early retirement and move 5+ hours away leaving me as the closest. He can be big on plans, short on action, so I'm hoping this is the same. They have set up a POA with only him named so that could be fun.

Autumn Rational, surely? If she wanted grandchilden and doesn't have any, great nieces and nephews are the next best thing.

Mere it’s her great nieces and nephews that she’s talking to about marriage.

I don’t approve of calling relatives in another country and saying “now when are you going to get married?” It’s rude, nosey, and smacks of the culture she herself ran away from.

She defended me when her crazy relatives used to call her and ask the same thing.

I think she’ll probably come to sense when they don’t call her for a couple of weeks.

I know I come here and rant and rail about mum but she has had me in tears of laughter today

She was looking through the paper and said "Did you know Boris is going to be a dad?"

"Yes mum."

"Did he practice much do you think?"

We established that she meant "Does he have any other children?"

I can just imagine PMQ's "Would my Right Honourable Friend please tell the house how many attempts were made before this infant was conceived?"

hairbrush thank you, that made me lol!

Anyone else worried re oldie and virus?

Autumnrose not just the oldies. DH is 60 and diabetic. He gets every cold going and for the last 3 winters has ended up with a nasty chest infection late Jan/Feb. His job means he visits several different houses every day.

My thoughts at the moment are that when it is physically close to us then I will wrap my mother in cotton wool and no matter how cross she becomes I will not allow her out.

country I have asthma and a couple of other issues

So mum’s worried about me and I’m worried about her. It’s quite funny really.

hairbrush in the unlikely event of complete shut down, I’d feel obliged to go and stay with my mother. Which would be better in a way as she has a house and garden, but also, I’d go mad. Let’s hope it doesn’t go that far.

country is your dh planning to live as he usually does?

He is. He is self employed so no work, no pay. I am insisting he takes hand gel when he goes to crufts for the flyball. Luckily I still have a couple of bottles from when the horses had strangles.

I'm also taking a ridiculous level of comfort from my friend who didn't catch it. Her entire family get everything going. She flew out to New Zealand via Singapore to visit a daughter, coming back in Feb. While she was out there another daughter flew out from Shanghai, where she works, just before Chinese New Year. None of them got it so I tell myself it can't be that easy to catch. It's keeping me happier for now.

I suspect a few of us will be drafted into care home duty in the coming months. Our place struggles for a full complement of staff at the weekend and needs agency recruits. I can’t imagine the care home will have sufficient caters when schools close down the line.

country that’s good.

Rinse are you on the right thread?