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Original poster

A teacher smacked my child

452 replies

Xmumof3xo · 29/04/2026 21:29

I really need some advice I’m in the uk
My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment..
So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”.
I have rang the school, I am really angry about this.
The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation.
After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them.
I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

OP posts:
momtoboys · 30/04/2026 14:51

OP - is this your first child? I have to agree with previous posters who say that kids that age lie. I'm not saying nothing happened but if cooler heads prevail, I think you will find its not exactly what your son thinks it is.

WERE2216 · 30/04/2026 15:05

momtoboys · 30/04/2026 14:51

OP - is this your first child? I have to agree with previous posters who say that kids that age lie. I'm not saying nothing happened but if cooler heads prevail, I think you will find its not exactly what your son thinks it is.

So do teachers.

I speak as a teacher, and a long-time parent.

Teachers close ranks, OP will get no-where with this.

ApplebyArrows · 30/04/2026 15:15

All kids lie, but there are different categories of lying. Lying to protect yourself, or to get something you want, is very different from making a malicious false accusation against an authority figure.

But children also misinterpret things, and that is plausible here.

MermaidofRye · 30/04/2026 15:17

Xmumof3xo · 29/04/2026 22:15

No he won’t lie as it’s a catholic school, they have said a lie equals a key to the devils door, there is so much to this, I’ve just asked for help over this, not a 3rd degree and making out my child is the problem. I am well aware on what my son is like and I just needed to know how to handle this better

Bollocks-not necessarily to all your posts but certainly bollocks, total bollocks, to the bit about the devil's door.

Furthermore, I don't care if your little William Tell told you this or not because it is and I say it again, total bollocks!

XMissPlacedX · 30/04/2026 15:20

Oh you’re in for a wild ride if you think your little darling doesn’t lie. He will be walking all over you in a few years. Good parents are the ones who teach morals and accountability, not the ones that make excuses for their kids. Good luck with this

Dontcallmescarface · 30/04/2026 15:38

Welcome to MN OP, where teachers should be revered and will insist that your child is a demon and they are all saints. Honestly I think a teacher could do their worst and posters will still blame the child.

FWIW I believe you OP, there have always been teachers who are nasty human beings ( I had one that would refer to me as "the ugly one" in front of the whole class all the time). Just because it's 2026 it doesn't mean that all teachers are great, but as I said this is MN

JollyCyanCat · 30/04/2026 15:49

rainbows40 · 29/04/2026 22:46

What alot of people here are not understanding is that this child has ASD and those with this neurological disorder do not lie. They simply tell things as they see them.
I do believe he is telling the truth. I would be looking into another school for him, one that specifically specialises in kids with SEN that has a great reputation. I'm sure with your son's diagnosis, even if the school is a little far away, the government funding would cover the cost of taxis to and from school to facilitate this.
Good luck OP.

Edited

I’m sorry but that’s just not true. My daughter is ASD and definitely lies. All children lie. All adults lie.

FairKoala · 30/04/2026 15:51

ChickenBananaBanana · 29/04/2026 22:14

Little kids can and do lie. Not saying he is, but you're being a bit naive

They also tell the truth.

Have we learned nothing over the last couple of decades.

Redpaisley · 30/04/2026 15:57

IslandLifeOtter · 30/04/2026 00:03

Utterly awful people.

This is a little boy who is obviously struggling and a mother trying her best. Schools do get it wrong, ASD children are frequently bullied and there are bad apples in the teaching profession - but according to MN, teachers can do no wrong. 45yrs ago I had my face slapped by a teacher, couldn't tell my parents as I would have got a smack from my Dad for misbehaving. But that teacher resigned after making the same mistake with another child.

OP, it is good that the school is launching an investigation and they won't do that lightly. Make sure the school knows there was a witness.
Also speak to the school SENCO.
There is a helpful FB group called Not Fine in School.

Edited
Show quote history

I am not commenting on who is right or wrong in this situation as I can’t know. But the example you gave is from 45 years ago, when it was still, to some degree, acceptable to punish this way. But in today’s day and age, if a teacher behaves like this they have to be in a stage of losing complete control, which may have happened in this case.

MrsDilkington · 30/04/2026 16:00

I have an autistic child and I believe op that her child doesn't lie. It takes creativity and social skills to lie and some autistic children can be very blunt and honest, sometimes too blunt and honest but not think/have the skills to lie. An adherence to rules is also an autistic trait. I recognise all of this in my own child so I get what op means. A teacher once thought mine was lying about needing the toilet and he wet himself, I went absolutely mad and said the same thing, my child doesn't lie.

(As an aside op I'd be really wary of raising an autistic child like this as a strict catholic, as you could literally put the fear of god into them.)

Parents can ask for an EHCP but in my experience you're better off with understanding teachers who are willing to support and help a child with a good IEP in the meantime anyway, and help support any referrals for assessments.

It does seem unlikely in this day and age for a teacher to hit a child, but regardless of that I wouldn't want my SEN child at a really unsupportive religious school anyway, which it sounds like this is.

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 30/04/2026 16:02

BurnoutBee · 29/04/2026 22:36

LADO will investigate this. The teacher will now be suspended for possibly many weeks until she is cleared. And she will be, because this is ridiculous. Your posts are unhinged. The poor teacher.

Agreed. This will, effectively, ruin her career and her reputation.

ohyesido · 30/04/2026 16:03

I believe you. People are very quick to judge because it makes them feel better about themselves.

I believe you because it happened to me.

DreamTheMoors · 30/04/2026 16:06

purpleheartsandroses · 29/04/2026 21:48

None of this makes sense.

You dont "do" an EHCP, you request assessment for an EHCP from the council. It's not up to school. They cannot refuse or accept.

Multiple teachers are bullying him? You can get the odd bad egg in any profession, but multiple teachers bullying him is vanishingly unlikely.

And actually hitting him? In the classroom with witnesses? Again, you get the odd one in any profession capable of abuse, but a teacher actually hitting a child at school is just unrealistic. Behind closed doors, there's always potential for abuse, but in public?

You've already moved your child? How many times? From experience, the children who move schools multiple times because of behaviour and/or bullying have the same thing in common. And it's not the school, teachers or other pupils.

You've had 'so many meetings about the behaviour of the teachers'? What tf does that mean?

All children can and do lie. However, it may seem real/true to them at the time. Like pp said, it could be the teacher moved his hand and he's interpreted that as smacking. A teacher would have to be exceptionally stupid to hit a child in class.

Thank you for piointing out the varied and many reasons why @Xmumof3xo couldn’t possibly be correct in relating her own experiences.

After all, you’re the expert.

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 30/04/2026 16:07

Also, aren't you HUGELY CONCERNED that a school would tell children that lies are the 'key to the devil's door'???????

Redpaisley · 30/04/2026 16:11

Dontcallmescarface · 30/04/2026 15:38

Welcome to MN OP, where teachers should be revered and will insist that your child is a demon and they are all saints. Honestly I think a teacher could do their worst and posters will still blame the child.

FWIW I believe you OP, there have always been teachers who are nasty human beings ( I had one that would refer to me as "the ugly one" in front of the whole class all the time). Just because it's 2026 it doesn't mean that all teachers are great, but as I said this is MN

I want to believe op but she hasn’t answered how her child has intelligence of a 1 year old but goes to a mainstream school.

purpleheartsandroses · 30/04/2026 16:12

DreamTheMoors · 30/04/2026 16:06

Thank you for piointing out the varied and many reasons why @Xmumof3xo couldn’t possibly be correct in relating her own experiences.

After all, you’re the expert.

Show quote history

No problem Biscuit

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/04/2026 16:15

Ask him if any other child saw what happened. If so, ask yge parent to ask the child what they saw.

MissyMooPoo2 · 30/04/2026 16:18

Xmumof3xo · 29/04/2026 23:04

I know yeah, no need for the attacks,
i have logged everything, he has a little friend and he tells me what has happened before my son comes out of school then my son tells me what happens

Show quote history

A 'little friend' who can tell you things that have happened even before your son is out of school?

OP, I think you need to speak to your GP or a mental health professional as soon as you possibly can.

ldnmusic87 · 30/04/2026 16:33

It sounds like you haven't got the whole picture.

JustSawJohnny · 30/04/2026 16:37

You need to ask around if any of the kids saw this happen, ASAP.

I'd be getting in touch with parents tonight to get them to ask their children and if there are witnesses you need to ask them to back you by , at the very least, sending you an email stating that their child saw your child get hit and how.

People are being very doubtful here but as an ex teacher I can tell you it does happen. I've seen teachers get head to head with kids, asking them to hit them so they can expel them. I've seen a teacher dangle a child out of a 2nd floor window to scare them. Incredibly scary, aggressive behaviours from angry adults against kids..

When I was at primary a teacher put a fist through a partition wall trying to punch a child. Thank God the kid ducked, but my point is, teachers are human and sometimes they are not mentally equipped for the stresses of teaching.

You need to make sure the school really do investigate this, OP. The teacher, if it did happen, is likely to lie to cover her own back.

JustSawJohnny · 30/04/2026 16:41

MissyMooPoo2 · 30/04/2026 16:18

A 'little friend' who can tell you things that have happened even before your son is out of school?

OP, I think you need to speak to your GP or a mental health professional as soon as you possibly can.

Show quote history

Do you have to be so condescending with someone who is clearly asking for help?

Does it make you feel better to question her clarity of writing?

if you don't understand what she's saying, you could ASK, rather than being so horrible!

alwaysusethebiglight · 30/04/2026 16:49

Ashleigh1969 · 29/04/2026 22:11

The school system isn’t one size fits all and not every child thrives in it. Some of these comments are unnecessarily negative. You sound like a great mum doing your best and I hope you figure it out

Edited

This ⬆️

Trust your son, support him and allow the school to investigate. I can easily believe a frustrated teacher may have lost their mind and hit out at a hand. I’m saddened by some of these comments.

dontletmedownbruce · 30/04/2026 16:54

movinghomeadvice · 29/04/2026 22:22

Hitting a student is a career-ending move for a teacher. It’s a very serious allegation that warrants a full investigation. Report everything you know to the school and let them do their investigation.

If you feel that the current school isn’t a good educational environment for your child then move him. You won’t get anywhere being in daily combat with the teachers and school leadership.

Perfect response.

#op, you sound very antagonistic towards the school and the teacher(s). Let them investigate. Move him on again if necessary.

BluebellCrocus · 30/04/2026 16:57

None of us were there. Some people seem to be convinced the poor woman is definitely guilty because OP's ds can't possibly be describing what happened wrongly.

Bababear987 · 30/04/2026 17:05

Xmumof3xo · 29/04/2026 22:15

No he won’t lie as it’s a catholic school, they have said a lie equals a key to the devils door, there is so much to this, I’ve just asked for help over this, not a 3rd degree and making out my child is the problem. I am well aware on what my son is like and I just needed to know how to handle this better

Why does the fact he goes to a catholic school mean he wouldnt lie?

Some of the biggest liars and most evil people on the planet were Catholic liars.

Your child is 4 so I doubt every adult and child he comes into contact with is bullying him. They may not be catering for his needs the way he deserves but they aren't bullying him. I suspect hes misinterpreting situations.