A teacher smacked my child

[Xmumof3xo]

I really need some advice I’m in the uk
My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment..
So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”.
I have rang the school, I am really angry about this.
The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation.
After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them.
I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

Wow you didn't report it , shame on you . I got smacked once at school and so did DD , there's some nasty people on this thread, OP just needs help and advice . Oh and I once worked at a catholic school , strange place didn't stay long ...

I can easily imagine a scenario where a teacher was using scissors and a child reached out their hand towards the blade and the teacher quickly tapped the child's hand away to prevent them getting hurt.

Or a teacher putting her hand around a child's and then moving it to help him form a letter with a pencil.

Or a child leaning forward about to scribble on another child's work and the teacher quickly grabbing their hand away to prevent them spoiling the other child's work.

All scenarios where a child might go home and tell their mum 'the teacher smacked my hand' but it would by no means tell the full story.

Like others I'd be extremely surprised a teacher would risk their whole career and livelihood to smack a child's hand.

The fact this child has already been moved schools once and again mum is finding issue with the new school suggests perhaps the issue is not with the schools but with the parent/child.

I went to catholic school and told lies.
You sound a bit unhinged.

Off topic, but it made me think of the great Moira Rose 🤣

@Soontobe60 yes I'm with you there. 44 years of experience in KS1 and KS2. I've taught so many children and when their backs are against the wall they can concoct a detailed story to get out of it and some can be very creative indeed.

My advice to the OP is let the school do their job to gather all the evidence together and then take it from there.
Hope everything works out well in the end.

Oh I love Moira Rose!! From the Where is Bebès chambre moment she had me!
total iconic Catherine O’Hara!

I'm not going to contribute to the discussion on whether individuals can ever misinterpret actions, or whether a pattern of events may be useful data, but I will gently point out that when you asked for help, people may be offering help by sharing a potential different perspective. It doesn't mean that anyone is necessarily saying that their perspective is the only literal truth, but just that it may be helpful to try to take a flexible and less rigid hold on one 'fact'.

It feels that you are only feeling helped by anyone telling you that they believe you, and how awful these teachers who all bully your child are. It's not that there aren't dreadful people in all professions, not is it in any ay impossible that this event is literally as your child reported it, it's just that you might find just trying to stay slightly open to gathering a wider narrative than the one you currently have about your son's school history might actually be useful to you.

It's not in the school's interest to refuse to support you in an EHCNA. Where a child is showing significant difficulties leading to an impact on their access to education, schools are generally desperate for the additional funding needed to provide the support required because they are already having to provide it - unfunded.

You are clearly very distressed and have some set ideas about what has happened. Try not to see anyone offering alternative or different perspectives as necessary being persecutory or not on your side - including the school.

Good luck.

RIP Moira

Oh, and the absolute rot about people with ASD literally being unable to lie. Absolute bunkum. I'd agree that people with ASD often have a strong sense of fairness and justice, but not always. I, for example, can lie fluently in three different languages without a blush.

Sorry but having a "witness" doesn’t necessarily mean much. At my children's school one child accused a specialist teacher of having hurt her that day during the lesson, and another child backed her up and said she’d seen the incident. On investigation it turned out that the teacher in question hadn’t even taught the class that day (or even that week).

It doesn’t necessarily mean children are deliberately lying but some find it hard to distinguish between fact and imaginings.

Especially when there is an adult telling them “you need to make a statement saying you saw the teacher assault x..”

A teacher friend and colleague of mine was accused by a child of hitting her. The accusation was amplified by the mother.

So Mum came into school, the lesson in question was take off our classroom CCTV hard drive so it could be watched on a lap top.

The Mum and Head watched it through. no particular interaction between my friend and the child. Nothing.

A stressful time for my friend even though we, and the CCTV, knew the accusations were completely untrue.

We never found out why the child lied. The mum went away saying 'Well she still did it' A hours worth of video said she didn't.

The child wasn't expelled - but started at a new school quite quickly.

Not all classrooms have CCTV, and ours were over written after a week or so.
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Sometimes actions can be misunderstood.

I'm sure I pushed the odd child's hand away from danger, hot things, moving things, away from others etc.

I may sometimes have threatened a smack, in a jokey manner, to stop inquisitive fingers spoiling things. When we were out walking on trips etc I would offer to hold hands with those who couldn't be sensible/safe.

You seem unsatisfied with a number of things - perhaps it's time to consider another school.

We encounter this every day from some of our AuDHD pupils. A slight brush becomes an attack, a stern word becomes ‘they shouted at me for hours’. It’s linked to sensory issues and poor proprioception.

Children lie, it’s a normal part of development.

Agree with this. My child has audhd and is very firm on truth telling and justice. However does misinterpret things which I have witnessed, as they feel easily wronged. Someone will accidentally bump them and they are convinced they have been hit and will shout about how it was definitely on purpose. It makes them look like they are problematic themselves but they genuinely believe it. It is one reason people with such needs can be vulnerable/at risk as when they have interpreted something correctly they doubt themselves once they become cognitively aware that the above is something their brain makes them do, as do others

I said for 'some' throughout my post, am aware it's a wide spectrum. I will look back for the comment you talk about though from the educational psychologist.
I understand my child better than anyone on here, I'm not naive thinking he would never lie to me ever but it's definitely not a regular occurrence or a natural instinct for him in the same way it could be for neuro typical children. Maybe that's a better way to articulate it.

To be fair, some schools will not support an ECHNA even if there are needs present. It involves work. Also some SENCOs/teachers are just not as good as others. Have seen people not be supported then achieve ECHP through support from other professionals who do see clear issues and where actually the school did have evidence of issues but were not interpreting the evidence correctly. But yes, generally, they will support an ECHNA because it makes sense to due to additional funding

That sounds really upsetting, and it’s completely understandable you’re concerned. It’s definitely something that should be taken seriously and properly investigated.

At the same time, with younger children, it can help to ask lots of gentle, open questions to get a clear picture, as sometimes things can be perceived or explained differently at that age.
It’s good the head has said they’ll investigate – they should be speaking to everyone involved and looking at it carefully from all sides.

Hopefully, that gives you a clearer understanding of what’s happened and what needs to be put in place going forward.

No one is saying it should not be investigated.
But the Op sounds very confrontational and if shes coming across like this on paper I an only imagine what shes like in person when dealing with the school. Shes refusing to believe her child could lie. And not addressing posters who have given examples of children misinterpreting a hit with a gentle touch due to overstimulation which could be the case here.
And the fact that this is not the first school shes had issues with raises some concerns.
She has said the age of the child is mentally 1 though I'm guessing it might be higher as I dont know a lot of one year old who are so coherent.

It’s highly unlikely a teacher would hit your son, so hopefully the head teacher’s investigation will reassure you.
Regarding teachers bullying your son; could you and / or your son be confusing staff attempts to correct his behaviour with bullying?

This. If his brain age was really one there is no way he would be able to tell you who hit him.

It’s surprising to see how many people here are so quick to dismiss the OP’s concerns, insist the child must be lying, and perhaps most concerning how many of those responses are coming from teachers.

There was a time when society rarely questioned people in positions of authority: older adults, teachers, men, clergy. We’ve since learned, painfully, that this unquestioning trust allowed countless children to be harmed. One of the reasons abuse persisted for so long is because we were conditioned to doubt children and to assume that the word of an adult, especially an authority figure, held more value than a child’s.

Of course, it’s possible the child misunderstood something or even lied. But a parent should always take their child’s concerns seriously and make an effort to understand what actually happened. As my daughter said when I read this thread to her, there is far more at stake here than someone’s reputation. If this child is being mistreated by a teacher, that is extremely serious and deserves immediate attention.

To those who are rushing to defend the teacher, I genuinely hope that neither you nor your child ever find yourselves on the other side of a situation like this. No one should have to fight to be believed when something feels wrong.

Like others, I am confused by some aspects of this.. for example the statement about your son's 'brain age'.

I dismissed her concerns the minute she spoke about "a brain age of 1" because of
a) the terminology used.
b) the fact that if this was indeed the case said child has absolutely no place in a mainstream school
c) if indeed he has said developmental age how on earth is he talking so well to give a recount of what has happened

The fact is no school in their right mind would refuse support and requests for assessments if a child had such a developmental delay. No mainstream school would likely meet his needs so therefore he wouldnt be in one. Dont even get me started on the lying part.
The whole post from op is ludicrous.

Maybe you'll be on the other side of the situation too and be accused of hitting a child.

I’m reading through the responses from today. So many people missing the fact the OP said her child has a brain age of 1.

so I’m sat here wondering if he is the next Stephen Hawking.

OP hasn’t come back so I’m wondering if she went to school today & if I should check the newspapers for reports of assaults/murders on teachers today.. I think she would get off for Mh reasons or maybe it was her sons friend(s) that tell her things before he does

maybe I’m being overdramatic but this child was smacked by a teacher & has been bullied by numerous teachers at more than one school