A teacher smacked my child

[Xmumof3xo]

I really need some advice I’m in the uk
My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment..
So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”.
I have rang the school, I am really angry about this.
The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation.
After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them.
I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

Well if its true she would be struck off, I'd be very surprised if a teacher would risk their whole career over one incident. Although it can happen, if school has said your son is sensitive could she have moved his hand away and he's interpreted this a a smack?

I would let the school investigate this and find out what has happened first. Yes your right to be upset if she really did smak him, but young children can get things wrong.

None of this makes sense.

You dont "do" an EHCP, you request assessment for an EHCP from the council. It's not up to school. They cannot refuse or accept.

Multiple teachers are bullying him? You can get the odd bad egg in any profession, but multiple teachers bullying him is vanishingly unlikely.

And actually hitting him? In the classroom with witnesses? Again, you get the odd one in any profession capable of abuse, but a teacher actually hitting a child at school is just unrealistic. Behind closed doors, there's always potential for abuse, but in public?

You've already moved your child? How many times? From experience, the children who move schools multiple times because of behaviour and/or bullying have the same thing in common. And it's not the school, teachers or other pupils.

You've had 'so many meetings about the behaviour of the teachers'? What tf does that mean?

All children can and do lie. However, it may seem real/true to them at the time. Like pp said, it could be the teacher moved his hand and he's interpreted that as smacking. A teacher would have to be exceptionally stupid to hit a child in class.

Ok….

Horrific injuries? What were they and what did the police do when you reported them, which obviously any parent would do were their child to suffer horrific injuries.

excuse me I asked for help.
for a start, a little girl saw what happened with the teacher today. I have had other parents talk to me about what their child has seen and heard in class. And yes you can apply for a EHCP. The school would not do one for him the school does have power to do that as I spoke to sendiass and the school nurse. I have moved him once and made a complaint, they therefore apologised for what happened in his old school and the lack of duty to care. Don’t make out like my child is the problem, he’s a little boy who was bullied terribly and it was witnessed by an family member and friends who attended that school, my child was not the only one who left there due to bullying.

There wasn’t much they could do as they was 4 year old kids, he had his head pushed in a gate, bite marks, his glasses smashed over his head, punched, things thrown at him, I spoke to the behaviour management and she just excused it with the girl being troubled and “he’s a target for the way he is”

It's a very serious allegation and the school will therefore take it seriously.
Sadly, there are adults who harm children in schools, and that's why there will be an investigation.

He wouldn’t lie because he believes in God?

The school system isn’t one size fits all and not every child thrives in it. Some of these comments are unnecessarily negative. You sound like a great mum doing your best and I hope you figure it out

You don’t apply for an ECHP. You apply for an ECHNA which is an assessment to see if the child/young person needs an ECHP. This can be done by anyone, the school, the school nurse or you can do it.

In regards to the teacher situation today, you need to allow the head to investigate it.

Do you know what - I believe you.

I spend lots of time thinking about my autistic dd. She was unhappy at her school and I strongly suspect that the teachers were bullying her. On her last day, she sobbed so hard and didnt want to go in.

There were times before where she didnt want to go in. I feel awful for not standing up for her but noone would tell me anything. I should've pulled her out. She is non verbal and couldn't speak about what was happening.

Anyway, I am homeschooling for now.

Your ds is telling you clearly that he isnt coping. And teachers are human. They arent superheroes, theyre people who get pissed off. And with a sen child, there is a lot of repetition - a human could easily get pissed off and lash out.

I believe you and I think that you should definitely carry on taking it seriously, op.

We have a group: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/chat/5493437-sen-parents-support-group-thread-1

You might get some more helpful responses there.

Is he in a mainstream class? Are you able to find out about special schools in your area? It will be a nightmare of a process but it could be better for him 🥺🥺

Best of luck, op ❤️

Edit - op, if I were you, i'd just pull him out, whilst they investigate. Fuck them and their shite attitude. Your child is deserving of a proper, decent and respectful education.

This is how to apply for an ECHNA yourself. It includes a template letter you can use

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

You are angry and that's understable.

The school will investigate and report back to you. If you are not happy with the outcome of the investigation, ask if they have reported to the LADO. This is a person who considers whether school staff are safe to be around children.

Are you saying that another child has independently told their parent that they saw the teacher hit your son? If so, ask that parent to report to school as well. This would then be part of the investigation.

You do seem to have concerningly negative opinions of his current school, which have led you to immediately believe that his teacher has assaulted him. Stating that the teachers are "bullying him" seems odd. You are well within your rights to keep him off school tomorrow.

Little kids can and do lie. Not saying he is, but you're being a bit naive

No he won’t lie as it’s a catholic school, they have said a lie equals a key to the devils door, there is so much to this, I’ve just asked for help over this, not a 3rd degree and making out my child is the problem. I am well aware on what my son is like and I just needed to know how to handle this better

I would make sure that the chair of governors is aware and also the LADO for your local authority. If you have concerns, don’t let the school keep it to themselves

When my son was 4 he told me another boy pushed him down some stairs.

I asked if the teacher had done anything and was told she hadn't. I was absolutely furious but thought to ask for more details.

It turns out that DS was walking down the stairs, the other boy was behind him and had tripped and fallen into DS, thereby pushing him down the stairs.

DS was not lying, but his original description of events did not give the full picture. You do need to wait for the head to investigate.

There is no way a teacher hit your son. This simply didn’t happen.

As a teacher I have met so many children whose parents say they don’t lie - however I’ve never actually met a child who doesn’t lie. All children do for many reasons.
If a child is being questioned, they may find it difficult to be honest as they know they could get into trouble so they lie.
If a parent is constantly asking a child ‘have you been bullied today’ every home time, they will often make something up because that’s what they think a parent wants to hear. The younger the child, the more likely it will happen.
Often, a brighter child will concoct more elaborate lies than less bright children.
Ask any child psychologist and they will confirm that children very often lie.

Hitting a student is a career-ending move for a teacher. It’s a very serious allegation that warrants a full investigation. Report everything you know to the school and let them do their investigation.

If you feel that the current school isn’t a good educational environment for your child then move him. You won’t get anywhere being in daily combat with the teachers and school leadership.

Thank you. I am not lying or being “naive” this has been going on since he was 3. I really thought another school would benefit him, but mainstream can’t cater to some Sen children, he had an occupational therapist and that’s how to got diagnosed with dyspraxia and helped me with right to choose for a assessment for adhd and asd, with the support of a paediatrician

And no catholic, child or adult has ever told a lie

However from a safeguarding view, the allegation should absolutely be investigated thoroughly and transparently. But prepare yourself OP that the truth may differ from your child’s version of events.

Excellent post !!

Ok, my 7 year old told a very very tall story at school last week. He's as far as I know, never lied before, ever. It happens.

For risk of outing myself to anyone who knows me - He saw knife crime which involved the slaughter of an animal, which was in no way true.

Kids DO lie, kids do over think, over dream, and then they stick to their story, as evident to me as the teacher told us she was going to call the police and my son stood there firm as day and said it was all true (it wasnt)

Just let it play out and let the investigation happen, it's okay to have your sons back but do not go in there thinking only he is telling the truth.

Good luck! Hope it all passes through smoothly

So he wouldn’t lie but the teachers will?