A teacher smacked my child

[Xmumof3xo]

I really need some advice I’m in the uk
My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment..
So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”.
I have rang the school, I am really angry about this.
The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation.
After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them.
I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

This. I can’t imagine she’d risk her job like that.

Ok, but why would my son just randomly come out of school at random upset, deregulated and make up this story, he is 7, what 7 year old would make up this in their head? Especially one with additional needs? Why would he actually lie? Like I said I asked for some help on what to do not a bollocking and people being unbelievably rude. Just think about it, my son sat in class with a brain age of a 1 year old and thought of every little detail 🤔

I have never heard a child of mine lie but like every human their version is not always the whole truth same as I see things differently some times, i wouldnt assume my child is wrong nor would I assume the school is i would take a balanced view of everyone

How the hell am I being vindictive? I’m literally asking for help over something that is concerning, if your child came and told you this how would you react?

My thoughts:

1. I believe in God, and definitely lied as a child.
2. Teachers can be bullies and have prejudices. I have experienced it as have friends, my Mother, my husband...but I think it's harder to get away with it these days. Not impossible though.
3. OP you're having a really tough time, I wish you well.

LADO will investigate this. The teacher will now be suspended for possibly many weeks until she is cleared. And she will be, because this is ridiculous. Your posts are unhinged. The poor teacher.

“ a lie is the key to the devils door?!” I’d be removing him from the school for that shit alone!

I would calmy speak to people concerned and take it from there

It's developmentally normal for 4-6 year olds to expiriment with lying. If he is a little behind as you suggest he is at the prime age to be lying without understanding the potential for repurcussions and the morality. This is about cognitive development and not 'God'.

Wow there’s some horrible people on this thread.

My 7 year old literally made up that someone killed an animal with a knife in front of him. It did not happen, it could not have possibly happened, and he told his LSA this, and then confirmed it with his teacher, and then was so convinced it happened - he said it was all true in front of me!

It happens. Honestly before last week i'd have also said my son would never - he's too sweet, harmless, considerate etc.

We had a very important chat about not only lying but the implications of it too, maybe you should with yours ?

I only knew this tonight as I was in disbelief

I believe you op.
My dh got picked on by a teacher because of his dyslexia and dyspraxia, they are only people after all so there are some bad eggs out there.
If he came out distraught I would believe him.

Yes, it's extremely common actually. Especially with AuADHD. Someone walking past accidentally brushing them becomes "he hit me". Passing a glue stick and dropping it becomes "she threw it at me". Very common. It is what the child genuinely believes to be true, but doesn't mean it actually is true.

And I reckon you also wouldn't believe in teachers having sex with pupils, or teachers having coke habits, yet they both happen.

That’s why I do believe him, I’m sorry but that’s quite a big story even if what most people are saying is a lie, to be thought of by a 7 year old

Primary school teacher here - often a child's version of their truth is not the actual truth. I have taught so many kids who were so sincere, sensible, well behaved kids telling me various things that were later found out to be untrue. I'm not saying that's the case here but after 20 years of teaching and having 2 kids of my own I have learned to tread carefully and go with the actual evidence. Other children who are witnesses often aren't reliable either. Hopefully the school will get to the bottom of it. The teacher could have just forgot herself and tapped his hand away, not necessarily a slap. Hard to know.

The main point is your child has complex needs and he and you are already unhappy with the education available to him by the age of 7. As the mother of a dyspraxic, ADHD son, now an adult, who struggled with school for years, I would say don't hesitate to find a suitable alternative. I really regret not realising the extent of the emotional impact of school issues because he masked a lot and got by up to age 16. However, he had some very troubled years as an older teenager which I would not wish on anyone. Part of this was late diagnosed, previously untreated ADHD but it became clear his self esteem was also shot to pieces by historical difficulties in school. Your child doesn't have to be isolated with modern home schooling networks or look for a small, nurturing independent school, if affordable. These kids need a very different school routine and staff with in-depth understanding of their needs so do your research carefully. Good luck.

I am a teacher and cannot tell you how many times a parent has presented their child's version of an incident that is far removed from what actually happened.
Sometimes what a child has claimed has happened to them is something they have done themselves eg hit another. It is easy for an upset child to get muddled. Also believing in god and being sen don't mean they can't make things up or misremember

Honestly the posters at the moment on here.. my child absolutely CANNNOT lie!!! Everyone else is a liar!!!

Because the teacher had told him off for messing with the cubes which upset him? She may have even moved it out of his hand and he’s interpreted that as a smack.
Or, he may be telling the truth, you are absolutely right to raise it and wait for the outcome of the investigation, but I think it would be helpful for you in the long run, as others have said, not to assume something is true just because your child said so before you have all the information.

Same as children retelling their version of an event not what actually happened

Your child has the brain age of a one year old? But is is a mainstream school?

I don’t know how you continue in the job @TheLemonLemur .. why you don’t get the drive to say “ok we’re all evil and abusive, best remove your child..”