A teacher smacked my child

[Xmumof3xo]

I really need some advice I’m in the uk
My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment..
So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”.
I have rang the school, I am really angry about this.
The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation.
After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them.
I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

it may well have happened, she may have lost her temper, just try and stay as calm as possible and try not to portray yourself as a crazy person because you won’t be taken seriously, just try and be calm but stand strong that you want it investigated, don’t demand her be sacked (she will be anyway if it is proven) but just play the long game. I wouldn’t allow him back in her class at the very least, because even if it can’t be proven the trust is gone.

I can’t believe a teacher would risk their career to smack a child. Also you’ve moved him once, you sound very negative about everything and I wonder if you’re making matters worse.

Sweet baby Jesus, are you for real? All children lie. It is a proven fact.

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3483871/

As a former Special Needs assistant I find it mysterious that the school would refuse to even apply for an EHCP for a 7 year old with the brain age of a 1 year old. If successful, an EHCP would benefit everyone, including the school, as they would receive funding to put support in place. A child with a 'brain age' of 1 at the age of 7, in a mainstream school would struggle massively, as would those trying to meet such profound needs.
Incidentally, I've never heard the phrase 'brain age' and, if you mean developmental age, then how does that manifest itself? Is he toilet trained, can he communicate deceptively and expressively for example?

As I said in a previous post, I'm neurodivergent.

I have a clear memory of feeling that I absolutely had to agree with an adult's made-up version of events even though I knew that they were wrong when they were asking me about something that had happened. I think that I was about 7 years old at the time.

I'm only adding this because of the insistence by some posters that children on the spectrum can be honest to the point of bluntness, and cannot tell a lie.

Yes- Putin believes in god.
Of course the school will investigate. But children often lie/exaggerate/don't explain things well. If I had a quid for every time a parent had said something like what the OP has said about their child not lying, I'd be a trillionaire after 15years or so of teaching.
A male colleage was stood outside the boys' toilets last year, knocking on the door and telling the kids to hurry. An immature, dishonest child walked past and said 'Oh look there's Mr X watching the boys have a wee.' This could not have been further from the truth but an overzealous supply teacher overheard it, and insisted on reporting to SLT, despite being told by TA who had witnessed the teacher and that nothing untoward had happened. Cue investigation.....and teacher exonerated. Kids lie, I'm sure your kid does too. I'm not saying what your son said is not true, but on the basis of probability the teacher won't have decided to lose their career, and possibiy home and marriage just so they can slap your child.

Hitting a child is a criminal offence. If the school's investigation isn't satisfactory you could consider reporting the incident to the police. But you will lose control of the situation.

There's a lot of room for your son to not be lying and the teacher to have done nothing wrong. Curiousity is a good thing. Understanding your son's sensory profile is important - he may interpret gentle touch as pain.

Your son is safe with you and was able to tell you about the incident. You may get more detail from him once he's fully calm at home.

With the greatest of respect- you only know what your son is like at home.
As a teacher and a parent- children often act very differently in school. Not all- but many do.
Do you or any other adults you know act differently at work?

This is ridiculous. I went to a Catholic school and the kids there lied all the time. We all believed in God but we were first and foremost children.

Sorry I meant "can he communicate RECEPTIVELY and expressively for example?"

There is something wrong with this thread

• if he can communicate he has been smacked his brain age is MUCH more than one year.
• if that's a lie then the whole thing is probably made up

My first thought - was it a Nun or a real teacher who allegedly hit the child ?

Agree. This thread is bonkers.

OP, did your child use the word "smack"? Have you asked him to demonstrate on you? I ask because I am a teacher and am used to unpicking children's statements like this. IME they don't use the word '"smack" these days. Also the words they use are not always accurate, eg a child might tell me someone has punched them and this turns out to be someone (another child) grabbing their arm. So did he say "smack"? Does he understand exactly what it means and has he showed you?

fwiw When I was in year 4 I swore blind my teacher turned up upside down and shook me by my legs. I’m still convinced it happened but now I realise it was probably a dream 😂 I was also in a catholic school… and we all lied!!

I am not sure about this thread at all.

But, giving the op and the teacher and the child, the benefit of the doubt. My ASD DS at age 7 found it hard to identify the strengh or reason for touch. So, if a boy slapped him on the back in a friendly manner, he would identify it as being hit.

If a clumsy child bumped into him, he would feel attacked.

It might not ve a matter of truth or lies, but sensory interpretation.

Believing in God doesn't stop people lying! I say this as a christian and have kids that attend church they still tell the odd porky pie! Teachers bullying your son very doubtful. Probably a huge backstory, he's moved schools due to bullying you say and now accusing teachers of bullying. I think the truth is more likely you're one of those parents and your sons a huge pita.

Sorry I have not read the whole thread but please re-post on SEN group.

Another odd aspect of this story is that DC loves going to school, even though he is shouted at, bullied, belittled and made to stand in the corridor.

They wouldn’t on purpose. I’m not saying it’s true or false, but don’t think for one minute that it’s never happened

An adherence to rules is also an autistic trait.

For some children. For some children with autism, it is the complete opposite. For many others, it’s somewhere in between.

It takes creativity and social skills to lie and some autistic children can be very blunt and honest, sometimes too blunt and honest but not think/have the skills to lie.

This is not really true. It is true that to some autistic children the social norms of ‘polite’ white lies that are sometimes encouraged may be confusing (e.g yes your new haircut looks nice) but would find it necessary to lie about other things. An educational psychologist posted a while back with some really good examples of when and why ND children might lie. I can’t find it now but it was very insightful and interesting.

Anyone who thinks their child would never lie to anyone is really naive IMO.

I work in an ASD unit. They absolutely lie.

I would go and talk to the teacher about it.

This is bad to admit but here goes. I witnessed a colleague smack a babies bum when she was changing a nappy and he wouldn’t move. I froze and didn’t report it. I didn’t tell anyone. Almost didn’t believe my eyes. This was despite so much ongoing safeguarding training.

All children lie/ misinterpret situations! I had a 4 year old say I’d hurt him when he accidentally whacked his hand on the back of my leg! (Sounds like that could easily be the case here too!) Thankfully a colleague saw what happened!!
You have done the right thing by reporting it however it sounds like you won’t be happy with the outcome unless the teacher is sacked regardless of whether they smacked your child or not!
Also regarding EHCP’s school’s will only apply if they feel your child has the level of need or it’s a waste of everyone’s time! It’s a slog to get any help
even for children with severe needs and an EHCP for severe need often comes with funding attached so school aren’t going to refuse to do one if the child’s needs are high enough as the extra funding will help support the child! Although it never covers all the support needed so schools still have to foot the bill!