A teacher smacked my child

[Xmumof3xo]

I really need some advice I’m in the uk
My son is 7 he has a diagnosis on dyspraxia, he’s going for a ADHD and autism assessment..
So today I picked him up from school, he was quite upset, he has said his class teacher has smacked him on his hand twice, quite hard and it has really upset him, he was messing with some building cubes and the teacher became angry at him and did a “cross face”.
I have rang the school, I am really angry about this.
The school office said “I don’t see that happening”, I made it very clear as to why he would lie my son is a big believer in god and he doesn’t like lying, the head teacher came on the phone and said she’s going launch a investigation.
After everything that has happened with this school, the constant shouting at him, making him stand in the corridor door and the constant belittling I have no faith in them.
I have done a EHCP as the school has refused it 4 times, I have already changed his school as he’s constantly being bullied, he came home with horrific injuries in his old school and now the teachers are bullying him. Please help me, I am close to homeschooling him but he has made it clear he loves going to his friends and loves his routine, who else can I go to, I’m so scared of making his life harder at school but this can’t go on anymore, I am fuming, I’ve had so many meetings about the behaviour of his teachers, they say he’s “too sensitive”. Everything calmed down until today, but this time she has physically hurt my child and I ain’t letting it slip, he is not going school tomorrow until I am happy about the outcome of this “investigation”

Where is the OP today? I hope she’s not up the school going “batshit crazy” at the teacher as a PP recommended

you think your children doesn’t lie because he goes to a catholic school? But the teachers at the catholic school are definitely liars? 😅

Don’t be silly. You think an autistic 7 year old understands the ins and outs of Catholicism? All children lie. It’s part of their natural development.

Or she may have heeded the majority advice here and gone calmly to school carrying her notebook of dated evidence and a pen. I like to be optimistic 😁

The problem with going batshit crazy at teachers is it just makes them think the parent is batshit crazy. Not going to help the child at all

Thanks for that, Pollyanna 😀

No they are not always investigated. And in my experience yes they do cover for each other, who are you to say different.

Because of my work for more than 30 years being part of many investigations of teachers across several MATs, as they now are.
As I said, it's not the 80s.
It's done properly and documented well. No school wants these accusations. It's dealt with.

Yeah I think OP is vastly underestimating children here lol.

Remember neurodevelopmental conditions are genetic. It is likely OP also has some social communication difficulties.

I would recommend OP getting herself an advocate.

No he won’t lie as it’s a catholic school, they have said a lie equals a key to the devils door,

Good god (excuse the pun), I'd be removing him for this alone.

YES AND NOT ONLY. BECAUSE HE IS SMALL INNOCENT CHILD

If any child was smacked at school in this country, the first thing I would be doing as a parent is phoning the police. It is assault. If a colleague smacked me in my workplace, I would phone the police and report them (and ofcourse the would be sacked).

Phone the non emergency police number and get advice from them.

DD is 22 so I’m not sure what’s up these days but I can’t imagine it has changed much. Hell and the devil are integral parts of catholic guilt isn’t it

OP, the British school system is in very dire situation. I took a child out of the system for a lot less than that.

remember what catholics are capable of??? towards small children?

I was once on a panel to hear a complaint. A child made allegations against two members of staff - one of whom no longer worked at the school at the time of the allegation...

Any chance he made it up because he's learning from your behaviour that you expect bad things to happen to him at school?

I find it really, really hard to believe that his teacher assaulted him. Sure, it's certainly possible - but it's far more likely that your son isn't being entirely truthful, and your anger and frustration at the school are stopping you from being objective. Children are like sponges, they pick up on everything we do. So if you're constantly sending him the message that school is the problem, he may well invent "problems" he knows you'll latch onto.

Not helpful in any way.

What proportion of allegations are found to be true would you say?

@Corinthiana Again who are you to tell me different on my own experience. What you’ve done over the last 30 years is irrelevant and I couldn’t care less. You don’t speak for everybody and their experience. I am telling you, the school my son attended didn’t take the allegation seriously at all and weren’t bothered enough to “Investigate”. As for teachers covering for each other and the general telling you one thing and then denying they ever said it to cover their backs, that happened too. In the end I started recording every meeting I had with the school and my son done the same too. They had nothing to say then when faced with video recordings and one of them walked out of the meeting. Obviously I let her lie just a little bit more and humiliate herself before I pulled out the recording in front of the head.

All of this.

Its like when I went on a school trip with my DC class and she said "see! Mrs x shouts!" when the teacher spoke firmly to a child mucking about. It absolutely was not shouting.

A child will say "x hit me" but it could be the teacher has moved their hand to prevent them damaging the classroom/children's work/hurting a peer.

To think your child never tells lies because he believes in God is ridiculous. Do you really think no religious Catholics, even Catholic priests, ever tell lies?

But it’s quite possible that your child has not deliberately lied but has misunderstood, and said "she hit me" when what she actually did was act to stop him moving how he was about to, just like children often say a teacher "shouted" at them when they really mean the teacher told them off about something (in a quiet voice).

The school will be investigating the episode thoroughly, and should have involved the independent LADO, as someone has already said. Until the investigation has been completed, keep an open mind. Of course it’s possible that it happened as your son says, but I would be very surprised because it would end the teacher's career.

Just read your post, which must have appeared while I was writing mine - we’ve both said the same thing!

I've seen a teacher "smack" a (NT) child in a classroom- what actually happened was that the teacher told the child not to touch something. The child went to touch it again, so the teacher told her again not to do so and then reached down to pick up the item and the two hands collided.

Teacher apologised to child, but also said to them that it would not have happened had the child been doing what she was told.

The child told her mum she'd been "smacked" by the teacher without sharing the wider context. Another child also referred to the teacher "smacking" the other child.

No one said the children lied, as it was their perception of the events that unfolded, but child's mum was satisfied that it had been accidental and that was my perception of it too.

My advice would always be to follow these things up with the school/teacher - but in a very neutral way I.e. fact-finding in the first instance, before laying blame. Childrens' brains aren't always mature enough to process what has happened (some adults struggle with this too...) and it's neither fair to accuse them of lying nor to disbelieve them when they tell you what has happened.