Binge eaters accountability thread

[LucyLatimer]

A thread to check in and say how we are feeling with no judgment. Taking one day at a time.

Hmmm...I'm not sure I have it sorted. I'm aware I'm going through a good week in regards to food but I'm also aware that I'm not working or stressed particularly. I do have covid again though. Feeling better today.

Sorry to hear you are in free fall misty. Go easy on yourself. Lots of lovely filling food. Make sure eating 'healthy ' isn't being hungry. It's just a blip. You can and will have easier times of it again. Talk to yourself kindly.

As Richard Osman says he will never be cured from Binge Eating disorder, he will just be in different levels of control over it at different times. That helps me actually.

We are in chaos in the house due to the work going on and we had some snacks last night. I struggled a bit with the fact there were crisps and sweet treats in. I ate all the crisps that were designated for me (and some of the ones not for me). And dh bought me two sweet treats. A nomo bar and some chocolate covered almonds. I did think of saying to him not to buy two, just one. And of course I ate both. Why? Because they were there.

But I figure that's not the worst Friday night 'binge' I could have, in fact it didn't feel quite in binge territory, more like over eating. But it could have tipped easily. For me over eating is a trigger as I start to feel uncomfortable and annoyed at myself. That's when I start to talk to myself badly and binge to supposedly 'comfort' myself. But of course its not comforting or kind to myself. It's self destructive behaviour.

Although it wasn't "healthy" food and it went again my non UPF process, I feel it was an okayish part of an overall healthy diet to eat, and although I sat with more snack beside me (olives) I managed to stop. I was full. I was very aware of wanting more as soon as I started. Definitely don't do that with healthier food.

Breaking it down, i think I didn't eat enough during the day. So I am making sure I do that today. And, I'm not beating myself up. It wasn't the worst.

I also was inspired by the idea of meditation/hypnotherapy online so I looked on an app that already have and found a great talk by a woman on this subject.

The app is called Insight Timer and you can get it for free. The woman was called Andrea Wechter (or something like that). I'll try to link it.

insig.ht/9Ri9YvGgIrb

It's really interesting isn't it, as feeling full leads to a binge for me too. It's like, I'm full to the brim so I may as well eat until I literally cannot eat any more. Its so unnatural to do that. Most people would think, I'm full up so I'll stop eating. I've had a better day. I got out of the house, walked miles around IKEA to replace a vase that the cat broke, then came home and had a healthy lunch. I just get so overwhelmed with negative thoughts and feelings.

I just feel really uncomfortable with myself at the moment. It's got really hot where I am, my bra strap at the back has started rubbing on a scar I have there from a mole removal and I just feel uncomfortable all the time. I've managed to find a pull on bralette that has no hook and eyes and I feel so much more comfortable already. I had a jacket potato and chilli for dinner. I just need to keep remembering that I'm allowed to be who I am and to stop putting myself down and blaming myself.

Yes, comfortable clothes make a massive difference. I get really irritated when my bra is digging in to me.

You are more than allowed to be who you are. You are allowed to like you as you are.

Thank you. I just feel disappointed in myself. I was once quite glamorous and now I'm in jeans and a tshirt with my hair scrapped back 99.9% of the time!

Morning
How is everyone doing?

mistyrock it's hard when you have kids to focus on yourself like that. Remember it has nothing to do with weight/body or self worth. Can you do something to feel a little pampered? Even if it is a longer shower, a bit of lippy if you like it? A new top? If you want to feel a little more glamorous don't wait until a certain day. Do little bits that make you feel better about yourself now. Even if its half an hour to paint your nails or go look at clothes or make up. I don't really wear make up but I did paint my toenails for a wedding a few months ago and it felt really nice. I might treat myself to a new summery colour and do them this week.

I'm claiming a major win last night. Dh bought a box of cornettos. A normal box for the kids and a diary free box of 4 for us. Now, normally I would eat my 2nd one after the other and often then go for dh's 2nd one. I had one!! And more to the point although I was aware it was there it wasnt a battle to not eat the extra ones. That almost never happens.

I do think my body is starting to trust that there will be food later on. I am eating 3 meals a day. And a snack in between if I'm hungry. I've been busy decorating and painting and I realised I got a bit of a kick at looking at my newly painted walls last night. Maybe that replaced my eating dopamine kick I usually look for.

Hope everyone is finding the heat okay.

Morning!
How is everyone!?

Hello @cheeseisthebest I'm suffering from a bad back after cleaning the house and packing one of my suitcases.

Not too bad thanks cheeseisthebest

Had a bit of a blow out last night* *after getting a shop in and I started my period. Figure it's not the worst and back on track today. Almost went for it at breakfast time again, kind of in a reaction to last night but I realised I was full and didn't need another flapjack so I put it away in the cupboard. Went out and bought stuff for my new kitchen shelf instead.

How are you doing?

This is an amazing thread, thanks so much for starting it

Back bingeing again. So much for the hypnosis.

I just don't know to stop the compulsion to constantly put food in my mouth.
It's boredom mainly and it comforts me. :(

I'm sorry to hear that @cheeseisthebest, you need to find some acceptance around food and not try to be perfect. I obviously don't have the answer as I'm also on this thread, but I can honestly say that the times I was happy and looked good were the times that I didn't count calories or had constant thoughts of dieting. I ate well but also had my favourite foods. I was at peace with all foods. I never thought 'I'll start my diet tomorrow' so never ate like it was my last supper. If I had a magic pill I'd send one to everyone of you on this thread. ❤️

Thank you xxx

I was sat watching TV earlier witht husband, and I was having such negative thoughts about myself. How I've let everybody down, and myself. How I've 'let myself go'. The self hatred is what feds the binging. I think tomorrow I'll try to read 'never binge again' . It's the only thing which I had reasonable success with. Hypotherapy doesn't seem to work for me. I did it when I was learning to drive, cost £££, and was useless. I also downloaded one from the Internet for binge eating but I hated the man's voice. Paul Mckenna is the best but I can't get it on my android phone. My life is very busy at the moment and I'm pretty stressed. 😩

You are absolutely right about the self hatred. I hate how unattractive I am, I'm obsessed about it, constantly comparing myself, maybe if I was pretty I wouldn't stress about my weight so much.
My son has jokingly made a couple of comments about my size it's mortifying. He doesn't have any filter!

I'm obsessed with my looks too. When I worked (I'm a SAHM but son in school, living expat life) I'd get dressed up and wore make up and looked wonderful. Even when my son was a baby I'd wear nice clothes and make up to baby and toddler groups. Now I just wear jeans and t shirts everyday, no make up, not had a haircut in over a year. What's the point in looking good to move from the bedroom to the lounge??? If I had more of a life/social life I think I could muster up the resources to overcome it but at the moment I just seem to spend my time hating feeling like a bloob yet I can't seem to mentally get my shit together to make a difference. I definitely can't accept that this is me forever. Its almost like the other me has died!

I hate ANY comment on my weight, exercise level or the food I eat. I take even a hint of criticism very badly. I can't remember the last time someone said I looked nice! Its crazy as I don't need to lose loads to get where I want to be but it seems like a mountain.

cheeseisthebest sorry* *to hear that the hypnosis feels a let down. I know how you feel. I keep thinking I have this sorted, i have the answer, a magic cure and then get defeated when I realise I there is no magic cure. It's always going to be there.

Can you think that the hypnosis is another thing in your toolbox? It has added to helping rather than being a fix all.

The feelings around self image sound all too familiar. And making an effort. I'm aware that not making an effort and not eating well, feed (ha!) into each other but I seem to be unwilling or unable to make the changes permanently.

I felt I was doing okay, i was eating sensibly and exercising. Then I got covid again and that knocked my energy levels. I'm now stressed about money, living in chaos with my renovations and got to back to work next week. I've also got my period which isn't helping, especially because I have the mirena coil in to stop menopausal flooding, I'm just so over all this nonsense and would quite happily stop and be over it. To top it all off I took an allergic reaction to something and my eyes are all puffy, skin sore, asthma triggered and my stomach upset. And on top of all that I'm bored. I don't know what to do with myself today. Don't want to go out when I feel and look so awful, don't want to spend any money and don't have much energy. These are all my trigger points to sit and stuff my face which of course won't help.

Hope today goes well for everyone. I'm going to try to get through today as well as I can. Back to 3 meals and a snack if needed. It's become my mantra - breakfast, lunch and dinner. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. No fasting! No diets. No starving.

Cheese

I do think it's one small step at a time , if we look at the big picture of this and where we are at then it is too daunting

Break it down into small achievable goals , even if you achieve one you will start to feel better. The hardest time is when you are right in it, but one we step can make all the difference

I've been listening to the free podcast on brain over binge and they are very good

I also kept visualising, not being thin, but not having to deal with this any longer , the headspace I will have will be amazing!

I've eaten normally today.
Shreddies for breakfast.
Cheese, chicken and salad wrap for lunch.
Choc brownie
Mac cheese for tea with salmon, courgette and asparagus.
I'm so so full and haven't binged.
I also hadn't eaten pasta for months due to my low carb rules.

I've started reading a book called out of the pantry, it's really good and relatable.

Well done cheeseisthebest .

Me too. A good day all in all. Productive and normal eating.

Thank you although have just had 2 pieces of fudge and a biscuit!