Binge eaters accountability thread

[LucyLatimer]

A thread to check in and say how we are feeling with no judgment. Taking one day at a time.

Oh, could I join?

My situation is slightly different as I had a gastric sleeve last year after gaining 7 stone binge eating.

I do still have binge eating tenancies though, I just binge eat in very small amounts (compared to people with whole stomachs) but it's still way more than I should be eating.

All I eat is rubbish. Its a complete compulsion.

hi! I came on here a few day ago to see if anyone was feeling out of control with binge eating. I am worried that although I have always binge eating to some extent, but in the last few months I do it every day, in secret and it’s all I think about. I’m putting on weight fast and annoyed and scared of what I’m doing to myself. I have tried everything and know about fitness and nutrition, but the more I think about it, the less I can do it. I think it would be great to check in whenever and talk about our day, good or bad, with others who get it. I’m so interested to hear how your gastric sleeve has affected how you feel about eating and yourself, as it’s something I’m considering.

Hello! I need this thread so much. I will prob Amy post a lot. Currently bf baby atm but will come back with a little info on me and my situation :) nice to meet you

I should definitely be here too. I've always had some issues with binge eating but it's definitely out of control now. I've put on 2 stone since the first lockdown.

Mine is very emotional and I hate my job so 🤷🏻‍♀️ obviously I need to change jobs...working on it!

I also have PMDD (possibly now Peri) so emotions are running high an awful lot.

I need to find another way to deal with emotions.

I can identify with the emotional eating so much.

Any time I feel sad I just want to eat.

If I get on the scales and am not happy I immediately want to eat a chocolate bar or a packet of crisps :/

welcome x I changed jobs too, from one where I was working with complaints to a sales role and as an introvert both have been stressful, although the company I work for is great. I’m scared to go out and see anyone as I am so fat and the way I look on video calls stresses me too. Also peri, started hrt in January and it has helped in so many ways. Going on holiday next weekend if flights not cancelled and just feel such a fat blob. Tidying up this morning and I already had breakfast with my husband, then ate some crisps. I have stopped trying to track what I eat, as it makes my obsess. Just can’t put the brakes on.

Thank you for starting this @LucyLatimer

I feel more out of control with eating than I’ve ever been. I’ve always been overweight but it’s getting worse and I know I’m jeopardising my health. As mentioned on a different thread it totally feels like self harming.
Im also menopausal but can’t take HRT.

I was woken by terrible acid reflux at about 2.30am and I know that’s a result of eating too much yesterday.

Although I don’t wish this on anyone, there is comfort in being able to talk about it with people who understand.

Well that was a rubbish day. I just seemed to graze and now I feel sick. Maybe I will start reading the brain over binge book that was recommended tonight. How have you all got on?

I haven't actually eaten that much today. But for lunch I ate 4 pork pies, like the whole packet 🤷🏻‍♀️

Went food shopping which I find really hard as I hate cooking and planning meals. This does not help with binge eating as I'd rather eat junk than cook but one bit of junk sets me off in a spiral of crap!

So in conclusion haven't over eaten on my usual scale today but haven't made good choices either.

I've been trying to post all day but mumsnet keeps glitching and deleting all my posts so I'm trying on the laptop. Wish me luck!

So I've been binging and occasionally purging for the past 15 or so years.
Currently I am doing slimming world (which i know isnt recommended for those with eating disorders) but it's actually working really well for me currently and while my binging hasnt completely stopped, it's significantly reduced.

I've also decided to ease the pressure on myself. Im an all or nothing kind of girl (Probably due to my bipolar!) and I either go really hard or not at all. This obviously leads to a lot of failure so previously if i wasnt losing 5 pounds plus a week then I was a failure. Que, feeling emotional, which leads to binge eating as I'm very much an emotional eater. I reward myself with food when im happy and I punish myself with food when I'm sad.

I've upped my calories, after reading a but more about myfitnesspal, which is what ive always used, and how that can give you quite unrealistic goals. I'm also breastfeeding so have allowed myself now up to 1800 a day and I have halved my step count goal, as realistically I know I'm not going to achieve 10,000 a day. 5000, however is currently very realistic and im more likely to go back out to achieve the last 1000 (and probably achieve more) than I was if I still had 6000 left.

I turn 30 next year, and I'm determined to go into my 30's 5 stone lighter, unafraid of food, and able to enjoy my life. I dont have any access to support in real life, so I'm really hoping this thread takes off as it's my only lifeline to anyone who understands and is going through the same thing.

Good job @richardhammondsgoatee , that sounds like a small victory for yesterday. I really can’t remember the last time I ate 3 meals, but I guess that what I should try to aim for. @PashunFroot how are you enjoying sw, have you done it before? I joined about a year ago and freaked out after working out how long I would need to do it for and didn’t go back. I know people swear by it. I moved away from mfp a few weeks ago, but will do again Monday. Sounds like you have a plan. @HellFireClub loving your user name

coffee, water and a think for me so far this morning before everyone gets up. But my first waking thought was ‘toast and marmite’ - not good, how to calm that voice in my head?

I would like to join something like this but personally I would find it more helpful not to talk about weight loss, calories and diets etc. I'm finding that the only way I can truly make peace with what I eat is to totally avoid what I weigh.

I am currently focusing on eating 3 meals a day, eating foods that I enjoy and that I know will keep me satisfied. I will eat more if I am hungry but I'm finding I want to binge less if I have a routine of 3 filling meals. I'm also working on reducing my stress levels, taking regular breaks from work etc. I also think tiredness is a big one for me and I've been making sure I go to bed at 10.30pm each night. It also means cutting down on caffeine which is also helping I've found.

I’m enjoying slimming world atm! I’m quite scared of eating, so I find having “permission” to eat certain foods really helpful. So where as usually I’d avoid bread altogether, slimming world is like, “well, you can have bread! Just have this kind of bread as it’s better for you.”

thibgs like that I find really helpful and my group is really lovely and supportive.

I completely agree with you. Talk of Slimming World and weight loss is the last thing a binge eater needs.

Why don't you have the Marmite on toast? There is no kthing wrong with that for breakfast. If you deny yourself foods you enjoy and eat what you 'think' you should be eating then your feeding the need to binge.

*nothing

You’re absolutely right and I my head I agree with what you say. However, after decades of doing every diets and weight loss method, that is how my brain is working. I do not have bread in the house unless I buy it for others and much as I enjoy 2 slices of toast and marmite, I do not stop there, I carry on making more until I feel sick or disgusted. You’re right, the right thing is to focus on eating good food in the correct amount and enjoying it and leaving it there. It’s just that for whatever reason I am choosing to let my animal brain take over more at the moment. I am allowing myself to listen to that side of myself, I suppose because I hope that it will tell me when I am done and for eating not to be the first thing on my mind. Awful, awful and I feel ashamed that I am otherwise intelligent and capable but I am not doing this for myself, to the point of harming my body.

I know what to do and how, but I need to make myself do something else or find satisfaction in what I do eat. In the past I smoked for pretty much them same reasons, again not good

I'm not having a go at you Op, I'm a huge binger. Dieting has fucked me up good and proper. My worst foods are chocolate, sweets and biscuits. In my head if I eat one chocolate bar, I think, sod it you've ruined it now. And that is the diet mentality talking, not my sane brain. One chocolate bar a day and I'd be a wonderful size 12. I'm tall 😂. A size 12 is perfect for me. I'm trying to stop any dieting thoughts. I'm buying clothes in my current size (16) and I am being kind to myself. The self hatred from binging is real but I'm over it now. I deserve nice clothes. I'm turning off my self destruct button. Maybe my body will settle down to its natural size. I'm always slimer when I forget about diets and relay on my body to lead the way.

I'm a ex smoker too.
You'll never find satisfaction in foods that you think you should be eating. You will always feel deprived. Can you not buy bread and defrost a few pieces a day? You need to make your danger foods safe foods. You have fucked up your relationship to food and you need to find a way of being neutral around them, if you don't you will always result in binging. No food is bad, it's your attitude to it that makes it dangerous for you. Definitely definitely quit dieting and quit trying to lose weight. You cannot get over binging by doing either of these things.

Sorry if I upset you, I was just posting where I’m at currently💐

I know you’re not, sorry if that came over as if I was upset :) just trying to explain those messed up thoughts. You sound like you have a good mindset there, did you have any help or any good resources?

I’m here to find a way forward, I’m feeling inspired by you all and watching with interest to see how people who understand are doing this. I am that person who gets things done on the outside and just gets fatter. Going to the GP on Thursday, but not expecting much. Thanks all and keep talking, good or bad.

Me? Yes, I'm always looking for help with it. I've had eating disorders on and off for years. Restricted eati g for a few years turned to a full blown binge eating disorder which settled down after a few years. Looking back every binge eating disorder has followed a pattern, always starting with a DIET! I downloaded an app called Undiet your mind. It was helpful, it isn't free so I didn't use it for long. I've read Never Binge Again and Brain over binge. From what I take from it all is that dieting and weight obsession are the 2 critical things that feed the binge eating disorder. Without those 2, feelings of guilt and shame disappear, and without those 2 feelings your need to binge goes. When you tell yourself that you can eat all the toast and marmite, toast and marmite suddenly loses its hold over you.