Binge eaters accountability thread

[LucyLatimer]

A thread to check in and say how we are feeling with no judgment. Taking one day at a time.

I'm on amitryptiline for pain, it does nothing except make me more tired! I'm also on citalopram which I started 13 years ago when I had PND an have had PMDD since then. That also doesn't do much these days. When I was on the combined pill I felt a bit better which is why I think it's definitely hormonal so I'm going to push for HRT. I'm 44.

I don't take cocodamol often as it makes me nauseous.

Recommend joining totes merry peri group on Facebook where there's lots of advice on how to push for Hrt with your gp. I just need to get an appointment now!

In other news I've eaten all my food for breakfast and lunch by 11.30 🤦🏽‍♀️

Went to a bakery today by myself and for the first time in what must be years and years, I didn’t by myself 5 peoples worth of food and secretly eat it in my car!

I bought lunch for my family and I came home and had a healthy lunch that I’ve actually been thinking a out for a few days.

im trying to rejig my internal reward system. So I stead of that initial few minutes of dopamine from eating/binging on all my “naughty” foods, I’m taking 30 seconds to stop and visualise how I’m going to feel after eating it. I want feeling good and feeling proud of myself to be my new reward and comfort seeking rather than gorging myself on food.

I really need this thread. I've had a terrible weekend and spent a fortune on takeaways. I just couldn't stop myself. Thank you for starting this.

Just had a thought. Maybe could save money spend on buying extra food and put it in a jar or something?

I have seen that as an idea for when stopping drinking. (come to think of it would do me good to stop drinking or at least cut down)

Decided to eat some diet products today, thought was doing really well then cracked into the jaffa cakes and other biscuits this evening. Must remember just not to try with the diet stuff as it just seems to make it worse somehow...

Diet stuff will ALWAYS make it worse as its the feeling of deprivation that feeds the urge to binge! Just have a few Jaffa Cakes instead as they are what you really wanted in the first place.

The damn pork pies got me again today. Had lunch at 11.30, I need to remember I get hungry early at work as I get up early!

Got in at 5 and was starving so had the last 2 pork pies 🙄 I buy them for my kids but they don't get a look in. I should maybe buy a different brand as Aldi pork pies are the only ones for me!

Then had to ferry kids around so didn't eat until 8.45!

So no actual Binging...yay! But all a bit disordered so I need to think more carefully about my timetable so I'm not left hungry and shoving food in my mouth. If DH hadn't been home to cook my dinner I probably would have eaten a load of crap instead of dinner!

The damn pork pies got me again today. Had lunch at 11.30, I need to remember I get hungry early at work as I get up early!

Got in at 5 and was starving so had the last 2 pork pies 🙄 I buy them for my kids but they don't get a look in. I should maybe buy a different brand as Aldi pork pies are the only ones for me!

Then had to ferry kids around so didn't eat until 8.45!

So no actual Binging...yay! But all a bit disordered so I need to think more carefully about my timetable so I'm not left hungry and shoving food in my mouth. If DH hadn't been home to cook my dinner I probably would have eaten a load of crap instead of dinner!

Could someone explain what constitutes binge eating? I’m 3 stone overweight, regular exercise and generally eat healthy BUT I’ve always wondered if maybe I’m a binge eater and not as normal as I think I am? Like I’ll never be naturally full so always have to just say to myself I’ve had enough?
but I eat (or could eat large portions) and in the evening instead of just 1 biscuit I need like 4 or 5 to feel satisfied?
Hope this is ok to ask but I can’t ask anyone in real life?

Pooky IMO a binge is subjective. Most people would define it as eating an excessive amount in one sitting, way past the point of hunger. But excessive depends on your personal point of view-people with anorexia, generally with very tight restriction over what they consume may view a whole packet of biscuits as a binge, whereas other people would laugh at the idea of that being a binge and see a whole fridge full of food as a binge. What is key is the sense of abandonment of control/checking out and typically, self loathing and physical discomfort (sometimes vomiting or inducing vomiting) afterwards. It would be interesting to hear others’ views on this….

I should add..you sound like you assess your satisfaction/hunger to some degree, you are present - to me you sound like you overeat rather than binge. I’d employ the same tactics as described here though-stop dieting (throw away your scales) - eat regular meals with whole foods that you enjoy, don’t ban the biscuits but be curious about your desire/need/enjoyment level of them…

That sounds really good @PashunFroot

My definition of a binge (for me) is eating 2 biscuits (not a binge) and then sit there thinking, um.. I could do with more, then eat more biscuits and then this is where it truly goes tits up, I then think, sod it, I'll be good tomorrow and eat every snacky junk food I can get my hands on. Usually more biscuits, a chocolate bar, a handful of sweets and then I'll be so full of sugar ill move on to salty crisps. Then I won't want my evening meal, but I'll eat it anyway, and feel so fat and bloated that I'll eat more shite as its too late to even try and be 'good' now. The worst thing is waking up the next day. The realisation of all the shit consumed the previous day and the mountain to climb just to resist doing it again. 😔

Yes - snap. And most days too.

I hate the weight I've gained but I hate feeling so helpless and shameful more.
Yesterday was an okay day for me. I had a few snacky things like 4 biscuits, 50g of M&Ms and half a packet of crisps. But it wasn't a binge day, after the M&Ms (which were so rich and sickly) I could have binged, but I didn't. I ate some crisps and thought.. Why am I eating these? And binned the rest. My meals were healthy and foods I like. I would say yesterday was a win for me. 😊

I personally wouldn't count 4 or 5 biscuits as a binge. How does it make you feel? Regarding meal times, I think you need to tune into your body a bit more and maybe rest between mouthfuls and eat without distraction so you can really hear your body saying its full. Maybe your meal times is YOUR binging?

It's so tough. It really makes you hate yourself doesn't it!

On a happier note, I'm off shopping today and I'm going to get a pair of jeans that FIT ME! 😂 And tonight I'm going to order another bikini top because I want to feel good on holiday and I deserve nice things 😁

It does make you hate yourself. I have even done it this morning. Stressful few days ahead, don’t want to get started and I just ate 6 biscuits. I did it one at a time, the packet was in the kitchen. I got a tea plate out, I put one on a plate and ate. It slowly. X6! I am trying to tell myself that this is not a good thing to do, but I am not listening to myself. So stupid

Enjoy your trip! Your holiday will be so much nicer wearing things that fit

6 biscuits will not ruin your day. We need to take it one step at a time. But whatever you do don't cut back on normal food to 'make up for it'! That is the perpetual dieter in you telling you to. Eat normally. Just forget about the biscuits. They mean nothing to you. Carry on with your day.

So Lucy if you are eating while thinking it’s ‘not a good thing to do’, then the next question is why are you continuing to eat them? Because you are enjoying them is a valid reason (putting aside the question of nutrition/excess calories etc). If you give yourself permission to eat anything you feel like you can then start to gauge how much you are enjoying it-the first biscuit is delicious..but (say) the 5th or the 10th, how does the experience compare, what is coming up? How are you feeling about the biscuits at that point (because it probably isn’t hunger and there probably isn’t actually that much pleasure involved)?

I have moved on and did something else and the urge to continue and eat the rest is gone. Interesting questions, I will think that next time because I did enjoy the first one or two

sleepwhenidie are you a Psychologist? I find your posts very helpful. 😊

I always find by biscuit number 3 that I’m not enjoying them anymore! It’s just finding the will power to stop there and not eat the whole pack.