Binge eaters accountability thread

[LucyLatimer]

A thread to check in and say how we are feeling with no judgment. Taking one day at a time.

Me too, but luckily the biscuits I buy are in packs of 2, so if I reach for packet no 2 I feel like a real fat bastard. So unless I'm having a real binge day I will only eat one packet at a time.

We’ve always got loads of biscuits and sweets here as my husband is diabetic so has all his sugary stashes! Nightmare for me 🤣

This is all interesting, I’ve always assumed binge eating is literally like eating an entire multipack of crisps in one sitting sort of think or an entire full packet of biscuits. Neither of these have I ever done or would do. But it seems it’s different for everyone, so the fact that I couldn’t feel I could stop at just two biscuits last night and ate an extra 3 for no reason could be MY way of bingeing and actually isn’t how ‘normal, slim’ people eat at all. So the fact I’m not losing weight is actually because I need to look at this?

I use biscuits as an example but it could be anything, I had a salad for lunch yesterday and instead of just one or two slices of french stick I had four. Just because it was there and I couldn’t stop thinking about it!

Pooky are you currently dieting? That could be why you can't stop?

Hmmm not necessarily dieting as in following a specific plan but I’m always aware of what I’m eating. My problem is I never feel full so I have to physically tell myself that’s enough rather than come to a natural stop.
even full if I still fancied something I could eat it.

Yes I feel the same. I can eat so much without feeling full but I think if I'm honest it's because I've forgotten what being hungry feels like. My body is so over fed!

I certainly can eat an awful lot without feeling sick. But mostly thats true for junk. I don't tend to overeat at mealtimes.

Buster I don’t do it at the moment (have gone back to my much more corporate previous job) but was an Eating Psychology Coach 😊. Happy if I’m helping - you sound like you are doing really well already though!

I'm trying very hard to stop dieting. It's so difficult, sometimes I look at my body and think a, diet would answer all my problems. I know it's not true but it's like having a devil on my shoulder.

Yes, I too feel like this and am trying to stop with the diet self talk as just think it can make things worse.

Have been for a swim today which i suppose was good.

Buster could you list your problems a ‘perfect’ body would solve?

I think for me, I'd like what I saw in the mirror and be able to wear what ever I wanted to. My friends would always, compliment me saying things like, I look good in anything (clothes wise) and when I went to toddler group with my son one of the girls who ran it said I'd look good in a bin bag! I just miss looking great in the clothes I wanted to wear. Now I just feel middle aged and like I've 'lost it'. Once a lady serving me in the supermarket said I reminded her of her grand daughter, really trendy and striking. 🤷‍♀️ I'm so vain because I miss all of that. Clothes are a huge part of the way I express myself and when I'm in jeans and a tshirt feeling past my best it makes me feel so negative about who I am. I sound so shallow...

I know I'm the same person inside, well I'm not though, as I feel down on myself, but I'm still me. I had too many life changes in the course of a few years, I got diagnosed with IBD which took the wind out of my sails, we moved abroad and I stopped working and didn't really make many friends. I think on some ways my life was greatly improved and others not so much.

In what ways better and worse Buster? What did you do when you worked? How do you spend your days now?

My life is better as we have more money, we get to go traveling a lot. Our son sees the world and doesn't have the pressures that kids in the UK have. It's worse because I don't really have any friends, no one to talk to about stuff outside of the home. I don't work so there's a guilt when we do struggle for money (£1000s on house repairs in 2020). Boredom. I could go out and do stuff but it can be so boring doing it your own all the time. I suppose now I'm just a wife and mother. I never really wanted to be a 'house wife'. I feel like all um good for is cooking the dinner and tidying up after everyone. I then I feel guilty as I don't contribute to the finances and I should put on a smile and be grateful 😬

I only did a telesales job, nothing special, but I had friends, other women into fashion and make up. We'd have a drink at lunch together on a Friday. Life wasn't perfect. We couldn't really afford holidays so it was stressful. I wouldn't want to go back to that as my husband felt undervalued at work and that causes its own issues. I think this past year has just been a bit shit. Shit country and his job is a but shit. We're moving in August.

On a more binge specific note, I had a good day yesterday. I went shopping with my son and i had a pannini in a cafe, the cakes looked great but I knew I was hungry and that a sandwich would keep me going and not cause my blood sugars to go mad. My son ate half! Later on he had a happy meal but didn't want his fries, I started eating them and then suddenly thought to myself, why am I eating cold fries, they don't even taste good cold, so I stopped! That evening I cooked a chicken and lentil stew. In the evening I had a glass of wine and a few sweets. It was a good day of 'normal' eating. I also bought a bikini in H&M size 16. The top is a bit small on the boobs, I wanted an 18 for cup size, I would've taken in the band but they didn't have it. No jeans though as I just couldn't be bothered.

I had quite a good day yesterday as well. Had porridge for breakfast, a sandwich at lunch and some pizza for dinner. Nothing special but felt full and didn't have too many cravings. Staying away from the diet stuff is helpful I think.

Also another great day yesterday! When my mood is good everything is good.
Had weetabix for breakfast, deli roll for lunch and chicken and mushroom risotto for dinner. No snacks. Smashed a job interview and got offered a promotion before I’ve even started! Sun was shining, out garden is finally useable. Sat in the sun with my husband till 10:30 drinking rattler and listening to music.

Oh and I’m weighing in this morning and not feeling stressed about it at all, feeling pretty good.

Well done and congratulations on the promotion. Be careful of the scales, if you've lost you'll be ecstatic and then if you don't lose as much next week you'll come crashing down, if you haven't lost your good mood will diminish within the blink of an eye.

Better day yesterday. I got a bit snacky in the evening but managed to contain it to some mini breadsticks. Prepared and ate 3 meals, I'm pleased with that.

The battery has run out on my scales. I'm not replacing it. Me and that thing are not friends. They have played a huge part in a lot of my binging, if the numbers aren't going the way I want I find it very easy to just give in and reach for the takeaway menu. If anyone knows of a way to block fucking just eat on an iPhone as well I'd be very grateful.

I'm trying very hard to not view what I eat as a 'diet' I can't restrict myself that way, my brain is a dick. The only thing that helps is if I tell myself I'm just making better choices. It's not a restriction, it's a choice, I can choose the takeaway or I can choose to prepare myself a healthier meal. Nothing is 'off the table' I just want to make better choices.

Also if you want something, sometimes telling yourself that you can have it in an hour etc helps, by the time that hour has came around you might not want it, which is good, or you still might want it, and you'll enjoy it knowing you deserved it, which is also good. 😊

2.5 off! Super pleased. Went out for a lovely lunch and just had what I wanted and didn’t think about calories or numbers. Just ate what I wanted until I was full and actually left food on the plate which I have NEVER done before. Think I’m cracking it you know!

Well done. 🌟 I had a bag of Malteasers today, just a normal size one. I then had the urge to eat more, but I didn't. I knew deep down that I was satisfied and eating more would only ruin my day and put me in a terrible state of mind.

I'm not weighing or even aiming to lose atm, just going to focus on 3 meals a day (or when hungry).

OK day today so far- fruit and fibre for breakfast, sandwiches at lunch and an apple for a snack, was in a bit of a rush after swim class so had a wrap and drink to take away for dinner and a protein shake...quite a bit to eat I guess but I did go to the swim class as well.