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Original poster

Potentially ruined Christmas.

256 replies

FrenchyQ · 17/12/2021 08:25

Dd22 phoned last night to tell us her boss tested positive for covid yesterday ( they even went into work after doing the PCR test). She's supposed to be coming home for Christmas on Tuesday (, she's at uni 100 miles away). She's being hesitant about getting a PCR herself as she knows if it's positive she's gonna have to self isolate.Weve booked her one for this afternoon anyway.
I just feel panicky now about her coming home,myself DH and ds all had covid a month ago and I really don't want it in the house again (as it may be Omicron so we could get it again ).
Leaving her to self isolate down there will be worrysome anyway as she has history of self harming/suicide attempts and if she's alone over Christmas that'll heighten her feelings for that.
I know alot of this is what ifs until she tests positive/negative but it's sending my anxiety through the roof!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
CSJobseeker · 17/12/2021 11:51

She's being hesitant about getting a PCR herself as she knows if it's positive she's gonna have to self isolate.

It's concerning that a lot of people might feel this way and deliberately not test in the run up to Xmas. We might see lower case numbers in the stats when actually the opposite is true.

ClaudiaJ1 · 17/12/2021 11:52

@RobertsRadio

Why the hell do you want her home for Christmas when she is violent to you (and yes, that was a hell of a drip feed). Why you would fall over yourself to collect and bring someone into your home who treats you like a punchbag is beyond me. Let her stay with her boyfriend.
This.

OP @FrenchyQ I think this is one of those cases where I would recommend you go NC with your daughter. If she is violent, abusive, thinks hitting and punching you and getting you banned from flying for 3 months is 'hilarious' and won't get help, I think it comes to the point where you have to consider disowning her. Her being suicidal despite rejecting all help is not your responsibility. You don't need to put your own life in harm's way, for her, it is not your responsibility to risk your life. You are in an abusive relationship with her.

Rescind the invitation for Christmas and go NC.

Derbee · 17/12/2021 11:52

The daughter doesn’t want that. Read the bloody thread

@PurpleDaisies the daughter DOES want that, just on the 21st as has ALWAYS been agreed, because she has work commitments.

It’s a bit rich for people who aren’t reading the thread properly to “read the bloody thread” other people

Wauden · 17/12/2021 11:54

Sorry OP I have asked for my comment to be removed as I obviously hadn’t read your full posts

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 17/12/2021 11:54

Well that was quite the drip feed FGS...

Dotell · 17/12/2021 11:54

I guess OP's mental health can fuck off. OP your abusive adult daughter's metal health is the most important thing, protect it at all cost - Mumsnet

PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 11:54

@Derbee

The daughter doesn’t want that. Read the bloody thread

@PurpleDaisies the daughter DOES want that, just on the 21st as has ALWAYS been agreed, because she has work commitments.

It’s a bit rich for people who aren’t reading the thread properly to “read the bloody thread” other people

That poster said to get perspective then get in the car, clearly implying to get the daughter now. Maybe you should read what I was responding to?
ClaudiaJ1 · 17/12/2021 11:56

@IAAP You don't need to read all 7 pages! Have you not noticed the See all directly below every OP's first? If you click on that, you read the OP's posts and ONLY the OP's posts. The OP has only posted on this thread 6 times.
I am sure you can read 6 posts?

Potentially ruined Christmas.
ClaudiaJ1 · 17/12/2021 11:56

@Dotell

I guess OP's mental health can fuck off. OP your abusive adult daughter's metal health is the most important thing, protect it at all cost - Mumsnet
This.
Tabbacus · 17/12/2021 11:57

@Dotell

I guess OP's mental health can fuck off. OP your abusive adult daughter's metal health is the most important thing, protect it at all cost - Mumsnet
It's strange how the drip feeds came thick and fast once people were disagreeing isn't it.
PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 11:57

@Dotell

I guess OP's mental health can fuck off. OP your abusive adult daughter's metal health is the most important thing, protect it at all cost - Mumsnet
To be fair, I think a lot of posters are responding to the op where there was no hint of all this backstory.
Ugzbugz · 17/12/2021 11:57

Even if she has it, she probs won't go positive for a few days so the test maybe pointless. I would not be leaving her.

Delatron · 17/12/2021 12:02

@Rosesandblossoms

Yes if it helps two people at the party had recently had Covid (November). Both of them escaped being infected. My son also had Covid in Nov and he hasn’t picked this new variant up from us. My anecdotal small sample says recent delta infection seems protective but earlier infection (a few had Covid in the first wave) is not. Which ties in with the data.

Derbee · 17/12/2021 12:06

That poster said to get perspective then get in the car, clearly implying to get the daughter now. Maybe you should read what I was responding to?
@PurpleDaisies that’s maybe how YOU took it, but it’s certainly not “clearly implying” that it must be now.

BurbageBrook · 17/12/2021 12:27

Can’t believe you’re even hesitating. Go get your daughter.

sage46 · 17/12/2021 12:30

Get your daughter!

sage46 · 17/12/2021 12:32

Oh, just read thread properly. Maybe don't fetch her.

AnyFucker · 17/12/2021 12:47

Pretty useless thread this, really

EezyOozy · 17/12/2021 12:47

Agree with pp - go and get her. Don't leave her alone over Xmas.

ClaudiaJ1 · 17/12/2021 12:53

@hassletassle

Agree with pp - go and get her. Don't leave her alone over Xmas.
@hassletassle Did you read all of OP's posts? The daughter is violent, hits and punches the OP, got her and OP banned from an airline for 3 months and still thinks it's hilarious, and won't accept any help. No way should the OP risk her life and be on eggshells over Christmas. If this was about a parent, we'd all say go NC. OP should go NC with daughter.
Hazelnutbean · 17/12/2021 13:06

Frankly. even if:

  1. my DD at Uni had Covid,
  2. I hadn't had Covid it (I haven't but have been triple jabbed)
  3. she didn't have any mental health issues;

I would be picking her up... Screw the rules when it comes to getting my DD home for Christmas. And if I got Covid? Well, I get Covid, which as I'm tripled jabbed would probably be no more than a cold.

People have completely lost all sense of perspective!

JinglingHellsBells · 17/12/2021 13:10

@ClaudiaJ1 Not getting into the argument on the thread but the See All is a Premium feature and only available to subscribers, (I believe.)

fruitbrewhaha · 17/12/2021 13:11

I think you've probably had a very tough time with your DD. I'd be pretty furious with someone punching me on a plane and then missing our holiday.

I think many of us are picking up on your tone that he maybe don't like her very much. I guess some will wonder if there is something in your relationship which has lead to her being such a pita or is it because she is so much hassle you get pissed off with her. It's hard to unpick. Ultimately though she's your daughter and only you can say when you've had enough or when she's cross a line.

If she is working tonight (Friday) and Saturday you have 2 full days before you are collecting her. You can be careful around her. Maybe you won't catch it. But if you do it may not ruin Christmas, it will just be different and perhaps if you are all stuck in the house together you can talk about all of this. I think Christmas would be far more ruined if you leave her there on her own and she harms herself.

So does she still want to come home on tuesday?

Abraxan · 17/12/2021 13:12

I'm cv. Covid put me in hospital last year and gave me a lifelong health condition.

However I would still go and get Dd, without a shadow of doubt.

Even if she tested positive I would not leave her in her university accommodation for Christmas. I'd drive up and get her and we'd isolate together at home.

ClaudiaJ1 · 17/12/2021 13:13

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@ClaudiaJ1 Not getting into the argument on the thread but the See All is a Premium feature and only available to subscribers, (I believe.)[/quote]
@JinglingHellsBells Nope, it's been a feature of this site for many years, and I have never had Premium.

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