Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Potentially ruined Christmas.

256 replies

FrenchyQ · 17/12/2021 08:25

Dd22 phoned last night to tell us her boss tested positive for covid yesterday ( they even went into work after doing the PCR test). She's supposed to be coming home for Christmas on Tuesday (, she's at uni 100 miles away). She's being hesitant about getting a PCR herself as she knows if it's positive she's gonna have to self isolate.Weve booked her one for this afternoon anyway.
I just feel panicky now about her coming home,myself DH and ds all had covid a month ago and I really don't want it in the house again (as it may be Omicron so we could get it again ).
Leaving her to self isolate down there will be worrysome anyway as she has history of self harming/suicide attempts and if she's alone over Christmas that'll heighten her feelings for that.
I know alot of this is what ifs until she tests positive/negative but it's sending my anxiety through the roof!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
BlackCatz · 17/12/2021 11:12

7 pages or more to read.............lots of people made the same jump that I did -we don't always have time to read pages!

You don't have to: just click 'see all' next to OP's name.

Squeezita · 17/12/2021 11:14

@IAAP

7 pages or more to read.............lots of people made the same jump that I did -we don't always have time to read pages!

If you don't read all of OP's updates then your contribution is basically useless.

irregularegular · 17/12/2021 11:15

Even if she tests positive I would bring her home - but then largely isolate as a family. The chances of you catching it again are extremely low. It does make a difference that you had it a month ago. Double jabbed plus having had Covid before is roughly equivalent to having had a booster. But to be honest, I would rather have Covid then leave my daughter alone and unwell for Xmas (almost 20, at Uni, also somewhat vulnerable in terms of mental health). Unless you or someone else is extremely vulnerable, in which case I would be splitting the household in a way that does not leave her alone.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 17/12/2021 11:16

I hadn't read the updates....but talk about a drip feed!

Normandy144 · 17/12/2021 11:17

Bring her home! Don't let a suicidal person spend Christmas isolating because of covid. Honestly the overreaction of everyone to a disease which isn't a big deal for most people is astounding.

irregularegular · 17/12/2021 11:17

OK, I wouldn't "bring" her home ahead of time. But I would allow/encourage her to come home for Xmas regardless of having tested positive. And point out to her that she really shouldn't use public transport. If she can drive herself that that would be ideal!

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 17/12/2021 11:23

Your best bet is to breathe a lot and take a bit of a "que sera, sera" attitude. As we say in my family "some things are not influenceable" and your DD may be one of them (we have family members like that) She is your DD, if she brings Covid home it's a huge pain in the arse but probably not the end of the world.

Bear in mind that she didn't have to tell you about her boss. A wiser child would have thought "d'you know what, I don't want to get a PCR and I do want to stay here so I'll just keep quiet, what Mum and Dad don't know wont hurt them". She seems to have no inner sense of how the things she says might affect you.

I would stop trying to call her and just stick with the original plan for Tuesday unless she contacts you and asks otherwise.

If she does need to self isolate then either she can notify the university and they'll give her support, or you can just decide to bring her home (if she will come!).

She is refusing to come home as she has work tonight and tomorrow night and is more interested in the money than the well being of her family.

Try not to worry about her motives. It may have more to do with rigidity than anything else - she Had A Plan and family cannot interfere with The Plan.

She's violent with me because she sees me as a push over

Is she by any chance explosive-inflexible?

vdbfamily · 17/12/2021 11:28

If you all recently had Covid and are vaccinated you are about the lowest risk environment she could be in so that is perfect.

Loki01 · 17/12/2021 11:31

I can see where she takes her reluctance to do the right thing from...

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 17/12/2021 11:36

I think the comment about her being more interested in the money is a bit harsh - maybe she doesn't want to let her employer down? My daughter is working two shifts in a busy pub this weekend and whilst I'm very aware of the risks associated with that, I would never ask her not to do it. She is rota-ed to work and wouldn't let them down.

Rosesandblossoms · 17/12/2021 11:36

@Delatron

For what it’s worth I have suspected Omicron from a party. At least 60% of the party tested positive. Those that had a recent Covid infection (last month or 2) did not catch it. Even though spouses have.
While it’s a sample of one that’s really helpful to know Delatron. We’re fighting to preserve Christmas but we’ve all had in recently.

Go and get her OP. She shouldn’t be on her own and by the sound of it none of you are CEV.

Orchid876 · 17/12/2021 11:38

Look after your daughter, go and get her and she. can isolate at home. If it's any reassurance, my DD has just had Covid, and she isolated in her room as well as she could and noone else got it. I've since tested positive today (but I caught it at work), so it's not like I'm immune or something, it is possible to reduce transmission within households with isolation. How would you feel about household isolation if it wasn't Christmas? I know it sucks having to isolate over Christmas, I'm currently doing it and I'm not happy about it, but I'm glad I did do that PCR test yesterday, to reduce transmission further, I don't want to contribute to the spread even more than I have done already. Even if she's isolating at home, she's still with you, that's better than being alone. If you've been boosted and you're not particularly vulnerable to Covid, I'd say the potential risk of the rest of you catching Covid so she can be at home with you, is on balance the lesser of two evils. Just do what you can to limit spread within your home, and make the best of whatever Christmas you can have together as a family.

Nidan2Sandan · 17/12/2021 11:39

You're panicking about possibly catching covid..........but not panicking about a previously suicidal daughter being on her own over xmas

.....rriiiiiigggfhhhhttttttt Hmm

RobertsRadio · 17/12/2021 11:41

Why the hell do you want her home for Christmas when she is violent to you (and yes, that was a hell of a drip feed). Why you would fall over yourself to collect and bring someone into your home who treats you like a punchbag is beyond me. Let her stay with her boyfriend.

lovescats3 · 17/12/2021 11:42

Drive down to get her, her mental well-being is a priority and she shouldn't be alone,especially at christmas. My son just had covid ,neither myself or husband got it, we had windows open allthe time , slightly ajar in evening and shut at bedtime

lovescats3 · 17/12/2021 11:43

she can do pcr at home with you

PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 11:44

@lovescats3

she can do pcr at home with you
On Tuesday when the op is going to get her?
Orchid876 · 17/12/2021 11:45

Oh I've just read that she won't come home. In that case I'd stick to the original plan of collecting her next week, you sound like you're really low risk for Covid if she does have it. There's not much else you can do, she's an adult, but don't let her get public transport!

Reallybadidea · 17/12/2021 11:46

I really think that MN should just delete posts where they clearly haven't RTFT.

jaguar67 · 17/12/2021 11:47

Assuming this isn't a windup - get some perspective, then get in the car and bring her home.

Dotell · 17/12/2021 11:47

I'm really confused about all the 'GO GET HER'. Does DD22 not mean that the OP is talking about a 22 years old woman? She can make her way if she wants to spend Christmas at home.

PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 11:47

@jaguar67

Assuming this isn't a windup - get some perspective, then get in the car and bring her home.
The daughter doesn’t want that.

Read the bloody thread.

slaybell · 17/12/2021 11:47

I've read the updates. However I am still shocked this was even posted in the first place.

You had covid a month ago, the chances of you catching it so soon afterwards are so ridiculously small and you're quibbling over collecting your potentially suicidal daughter because she may have been in contact with someone positive.

Just wow. I've heard it all now. Covid hysteria is insane.

Wauden · 17/12/2021 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/12/2021 11:49

@Lex345

1)You may have had Omicron last month anyway 2) If your daughter is positive and doesn't come home, you are likely to come into contact with Omicron in the next 2 weeks and could still contract it 3) With your daughters history, there is no way I would leave her to self isolate alone 4) She may not even have it
THIS ^

As Lex and others have said, her mental health is the most important thing.

She would not only be isolated over Christmas but may feel unloved and rejected (I'm not say that she is - just that's that how she may feel) which could make her more likely to self-harm.

Look at it this way - you would have a horrible Christmas anyway worrying about her - why not bring her home and if necessary she can self-isolate in her room. This way at least you will be assured that she is safe, and she will have company and support.

Swipe left for the next trending thread