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Original poster

Potentially ruined Christmas.

256 replies

FrenchyQ · 17/12/2021 08:25

Dd22 phoned last night to tell us her boss tested positive for covid yesterday ( they even went into work after doing the PCR test). She's supposed to be coming home for Christmas on Tuesday (, she's at uni 100 miles away). She's being hesitant about getting a PCR herself as she knows if it's positive she's gonna have to self isolate.Weve booked her one for this afternoon anyway.
I just feel panicky now about her coming home,myself DH and ds all had covid a month ago and I really don't want it in the house again (as it may be Omicron so we could get it again ).
Leaving her to self isolate down there will be worrysome anyway as she has history of self harming/suicide attempts and if she's alone over Christmas that'll heighten her feelings for that.
I know alot of this is what ifs until she tests positive/negative but it's sending my anxiety through the roof!

OP posts:
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6
PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 08:44

It’s hard to see how any parent could leave their potentially self harming suicidal child alone because they “really don’t want covid in the house again” a month after everyone has had it.

Oddbutnotodd · 17/12/2021 08:44

You’ve had Covid already. What’s the worst that can happen? Go and fetch her now and deal with the PCR result together. I can’t believe how badly people are behaving .
Her boss was rather stupid to return to work after a PCR test. Don’t make her Christmas miserable for the wrong reason.

FindingMeno · 17/12/2021 08:45

Sod the pcr.
Go and get her Flowers

Peakedtoosoon · 17/12/2021 08:46

I'm with her, there was no need to get a PCR.

Either way, there's no way I'd be leaving her there over Christmas.

PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 08:46

Her boss was rather stupid to return to work after a PCR test
Was he? We don’t know why he did that test. If he was a contact (assuming England rules) he didn’t do anything wrong.

Bagelsandbrie · 17/12/2021 08:46

@PurpleDaisies

It’s hard to see how any parent could leave their potentially self harming suicidal child alone because they “really don’t want covid in the house again” a month after everyone has had it.
I agree.

My dd is at university and her best friend tested positive two days ago. Dd has been doing lfts (negative) but I know there’s a chance she could still have it. I’m in the clinically extremely vulnerable group- triple jabbed but still. But there’s no way she’s not coming home for Christmas!! Shock

NotSorry · 17/12/2021 08:46

We’ve had exactly this situation - DS3 was worried he had covid and is at uni a long way away - we went and collected him yesterday and then went and got DS2 from his uni. We decided as a family if DS3 has covid, we would cope and look after him here. His LFT was negative when he got here yesterday but I’ve booked him a drive through PCR as he has a horrible cough, so I’m making sure.

I’d go and get her in a heartbeat OP

TuesdayRuby · 17/12/2021 08:47

What’s the greater risk to health? Her self-harm and mental struggles or you getting a virus that you’ve already had and recovered from! (Therefore having good antibodies!)
I wouldn’t hesitate to bring my daughter home for Christmas.

SilverRingahBells · 17/12/2021 08:47

Unless you're about to drip feed that DH is having chemo, or you're having ninety year old granny to stay over Christmas, just go and get her. Even if that was the case, I'd try to find a way to make it work.

PinkSyCo · 17/12/2021 08:49

Just imagine how you would feel if your DD did attempt to harm herself? Or even if she didn’t actually harm herself, I would personally rather risk illness than have my DD depressed and lonely at Christmas. Go and get her ffs.

SoyMarina · 17/12/2021 08:49

You’re on your way to get her, right?

WoodSageandSeasalt · 17/12/2021 08:49

FFS surely your poor DD being alone and feeling so low would be the thing that ruins Xmas not the fact she may or may not have Covid! I cant believe you're even considering other options 🤦🏻

Fendidntdrake · 17/12/2021 08:51

I understand your fears, but protecting her from self harm/suicide attempts is more important. You must see that.

PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 08:51

Is this some sort of reverse? I’m really struggling with how anyone could think this is a dilemma.

Leaving your self harming/suicidal child alone at Christmas vs them possibly being in the house with covid which everyone has already had.

On most threads I can see where the op is coming from even if I don’t agree. This one, I just don’t get it.

FindingMeno · 17/12/2021 08:51

Anxiety is a bastard op as you know. It'll fudge any issue, and catastrophise, and make it hard to reach decisions.
I'm glad you've posted here for other people's thoughts Flowers

Lex345 · 17/12/2021 08:52

@SilverRingahBells

Unless you're about to drip feed that DH is having chemo, or you're having ninety year old granny to stay over Christmas, just go and get her. Even if that was the case, I'd try to find a way to make it work.
I think even in this case, I would still go and get her-even if it meant someone else less at risk from a mental health crisis had to isolate, including DH. Sorry but my child would always come first
TrufflesAndToast · 17/12/2021 08:55

@Tabbacus

You can't be serious that you would even contemplate not having her home for Christmas especially in light of this:

Leaving her to self isolate down there will be worrysome anyway as she has history of self harming/suicide attempts and if she's alone over Christmas that'll heighten her feelings for that.

Covid has turned some people into monsters.

Sorry OP but this. I can’t get my head around any reaction other than bringing my vulnerable daughter home immediately and wrapping her up in her family Sad
EnjoyingTheSilence · 17/12/2021 08:56

With that history I would go get her and bring her home, windows open, wear a mask, she can always isolate in her room and you can you deliver all her meals and do the day on zoom, watch the Christmas films together ( we watched stuff over lockdown with another family, weird but doable and actually a was really lovely) have her at the dinner table etc. Yes it will be shit, but she will be safe.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/12/2021 08:56

You’d leave your self harming daughter alone just so covid, which didn’t kill you first time, isn’t in your house- go get your child!

Mickarooni · 17/12/2021 08:57

Go and get her! The risk to her mental health way exceeds the risk of you getting Covid so close to the previous infection. Some things are just too precious, she’s your child.

yikesanotherbooboo · 17/12/2021 08:57

Although University students are technically adults I must admit that I have felt of them as if they were still under my wing . In this case I would consider my home to be their home and helping them with their mental health difficulties to be my 'job' as a mother.The worst scenarios here are only going to happen if she stays away. Welcome her home and take it as it comes.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/12/2021 08:58

Go and get her.

By all means have a test from your house but get her.

PurpleDaisies · 17/12/2021 08:58

The op doesn’t necessarily have to get her. The daughter could just get a train.

middleager · 17/12/2021 08:59

Please go and get this poor girl now.

User5329806 · 17/12/2021 08:59

Just fetch her and if she does happen to have it she can just isolate at your house as she is a member of the family. You would be at very low risk anyway as you have had it

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