Am I going to die :(

[Iwannabelikeyouohh]

My husband has just had a positive LFT.

I’m absolutely petrified. I’m extremely obese with a BMI of 40.

I am fully vaccinated but I have had two different vaccines. 1 AZ and 1 Pfizer.

I feel physically sick with worry. 😓

@thaegumathteth

OP what do you think your chance of dying from covid is if you catch it? Genuinely, what do you think it is?

everything in life carries a risk

It's not patronising to point out facts - relative risk is very low. It just is.

Do you want your child to grow up and suffer anxiety like you do? stop and think about how horrendous it makes you feel - is that what you want for your child?

@thaegumathteth

I’d say around 80-90% chance of death 😞
That’s my personal risk of my chances.

Please don’t make assumptions about my son.
I know you’re trying to help but I assure you my son does not suffer at the hands of my anxiety.

He’s such a confident and happy little boy.
I take him to toddler classes, we go to the park, he goes to nursery. Yesterday I even took him to his first party that he was invited to.

Did I want to be there? NO.
Did I enjoy myself? ALSO NO
Did I smile and join in for the sake of my son? YES
Did my son have a great time? ALSO YES

@Bordois

So, as I said...

...people trying to reassure the OP are not actually helping the OP as it is just feeding the anxiety and making it worse!

Yes. That was my last message to OP, she doesn't listen and it's absolutely infuriating but I can see none of this is helping her at all.

Yeah, I'm done as well.

Although seriously 80/90 percent chance of death? Ok you have to be trolling now OP. It's not even that for the most at risk groups in covid, which you absolutely are not.
Seriously, you can't believe that , I think you're on a wind up now.

@Bordois I agree. Constant reassurance feeds anxiety I can GUARANTEE OP constantly asks for reassurance in real life too and it's never enough and it's not fair on her family.

As someone who has suffered and continues to suffer health anxiety this thread makes me really angry because it is so self indulgent. I fight every single day against my anxiety so that my kids have a normal life despite the pandemic - they've been to the cinema and bowling and obviously school and I don't talk about my worries around them. That's because I have self awareness and I know my anxiety can't control everything and I acknowledge reassurance feeds it. I also know that I absolutely do NOT want my children to live with this going on in their heads. I would be heartbroken if they did.

@makelovenotpetrol

Yes. That was my last message to OP, she doesn't listen and it's absolutely infuriating but I can see none of this is helping her at all.

Because I think so many people now are just trying to pacify me. I get you’ve all had enough and are just trying to shut me up.

It’s so confusing. In one breath people are telling me I’m low risk, to get back to normal life, get off mumsnet and focus on getting better.

In another people are saying they can’t believe I’ve been to a bar & restaurant and they wouldn’t have done so in my position 🤷🏻‍♀️

Believe what you want OP if you think your attitude won't affect your kid then you're delusional. Remember your other thread where you were going to split up with your husband because of your issues? Please OP wake up. Saying your risk of death is 80/90% is actually insane , literally. You know that's lies and you can't just arbitrarily decide what your risk is. Please OP get help, I'm being harsh because I feel like you need it and I imagine that's the stage your husbands been at too - living with this is extremely draining for everyone. Please please be honest about how bad your anxiety is, how much it skews your perception and how much help you need.

@thaegumathteth

In March I was going to quit my job and keep DS at home as I was petrified of us catching Covid.

I didn’t. I went to work, he went to nursery.

We got to a class on my day off where he interacts with other children.
I hate being there, my son loves it and I can guarantee you not one single person there would know I was anxious. I promise you that.

Perhaps you have the impression I’m some dithering anxious mess. Well inside, yes I am.
On the outside people who didn’t know me personally wouldn’t ever know.

My son is going to Halloween party on Saturday, he’s going pumpkin picking on Sunday.
I’m going with him.
I do not restrict my son because of my anxiety.

I may suffer after and feel exhausted with worry, but I can 150000% assure you my son doesn’t know this.

I only wish you could see him / me in person so that I could defend what I’m writing about this.

I’m done here too.

You cannot defend saying you have an 80/90% chance of dying and you know it

@thaegumathteth

I’m not trying to defend that.

I’m trying to defend the fact that my son isn’t affected by my anxiety.
I’m well aware that if I don’t continue pushing for help then as he grows up, he may well be.
But right now, he is not and I am doing everything I can to give him a normal life and make him happy.
It’s hard and it’s exhausting for me, but at least he is happy!!!!!!

I’d say around 80-90% chance of death That’s my personal risk of my chances.

That's insanity. No one had anything close to those odds, ever. Even a 90 year old with multiple comorbidities in the first wave wouldn't have been at 50%.

You're young, vaccinated and not immunocompromised. Your risk is tiny (probably something like 0.01%).

It's very difficult to take you seriously if you're throwing out figures like this.

@TheKeatingFive

Perhaps you’re not familiar with OCD?

It’s what’s knows as “Over Estimation of Danger / Threat”

Sadly many people here claim to understand mental health yet when I have answered what I believe my risk of death is, people are telling me they cannot take me seriously or that I must be trolling.

[quote Iwannabelikeyouohh]@TheKeatingFive

Perhaps you’re not familiar with OCD?

It’s what’s knows as “Over Estimation of Danger / Threat”

Sadly many people here claim to understand mental health yet when I have answered what I believe my risk of death is, people are telling me they cannot take me seriously or that I must be trolling.[/quote]
It's funny. You're able to explain that you over estimate danger and threat, and seemingly have the wherewithal to tell us that. Yet in the same breath you tell us it's 90% chance you'll die of covid, when that very clearly has not been the risk for anyone.

I can't take you seriously anymore, no.

I’d say around 80-90% chance of death That’s my personal risk of my chances.

That is the OCD talking though isn't it ? Not the actual facts of your situation, which would probably put your risk at less than 1% chance of dying.

@makelovenotpetrol

It's funny. You're able to explain that you over estimate danger and threat, and seemingly have the wherewithal to tell us that. Yet in the same breath you tell us it's 90% chance you'll die of covid, when that very clearly has not been the risk for anyone.

Why are you constantly on my back and picking at everything I say?
Surely with a history of mental health issues, you can understand that people who suffer, will tend to know the ins and outs of their conditions but have the inability to actually believe that’s what they are suffering with?

My therapist is always telling me about over estimation of danger which is a result of my OCD & Anxiety.
I recognise that and can try to process it rationally when I’m thinking clearly.
Unfortunately I don’t have many days of thinking clearly.

When doubt and anxiety kick in, I 100% believe my own thoughts and doubt that I am suffering with anxiety or OCD.

around 80-90% chance of death 😞
That’s my personal risk

Well this just proves what everyone is saying. I sent you a data-based risk calculator a couple of weeks ago , which took into account your risk factors based on age, gender and being obese, which calculator your risk of dying at 0.1%. You didn’t even acknowledge the post and continue to believe your risk is 80-90%.

Also there is no way you can sincerely be this anxious over covid and it not be affecting those closest to you: your partner and your toddler. So either you are not as anxious as you make out here, or you are in denial.

*which calculated your risk of dying at 0.1%.

@Bizawit

*around 80-90% chance of death 😞 That’s my personal risk*

Well this just proves what everyone is saying. I sent you a data-based risk calculator a couple of weeks ago , which took into account your risk factors based on age, gender and being obese, which calculator your risk of dying at 0.1%. You didn’t even acknowledge the post and continue to believe your risk is 80-90%.

Also there is no way you can sincerely be this anxious over covid and it not be affecting those closest to you: your partner and your toddler. So either you are not as anxious as you make out here, or you are in denial.

^ because exactly this point.

Either you're not this anxious... OR you are and it IS affecting those around you whether you like it or not.

And :
"Surely with a history of mental health issues, you can understand that people who suffer, will tend to know the ins and outs of their conditions but have the inability to actually believe that’s what they are suffering with?"

You're incredibly eloquent about what you want to say / believe but it's getting very waring that a LOT of people give you their own thoughts, share the facts, share their own personal mental health struggles, you rather ungratefully just turn everyone down. You can't see the wood from the trees, and, as other people have said, you don't seem to have any self awareness, and that's why you won't see that this will affect your family.

@Bizawit

Please explain to me how you think it would affect
my toddler? I’ve already explained up thread how
It doesn’t but accept it may in the future if I don’t continue to push for help.

I didn’t say it doesn’t affect my DH. It does.
He’s the person I offload to and seek the most reassurance from. Of course it has an effect on him.

don't seem to have any self awareness

Sorry if I’m coming across ignorant but I don’t even know what this means.

@Bizawit

*which calculated your risk of dying at 0.1%.

And sorry, yes, this was without being double vaxxed!!! So with the vaccine your risk is absolutely minuscule.

[quote Iwannabelikeyouohh]@Bizawit

Please explain to me how you think it would affect
my toddler? I’ve already explained up thread how
It doesn’t but accept it may in the future if I don’t continue to push for help.

I didn’t say it doesn’t affect my DH. It does.
He’s the person I offload to and seek the most reassurance from. Of course it has an effect on him.[/quote]
It is fact, that if someone is exposed to mental health issues as a young child, that it does have an impact; theyre more likely to have their own mental health issues, anxiety, unstable relationships with others, the list go on.

It's not how people THINK it will affect your child, it's how it does, due to medical and psychological fact, affect your child.

And yes, I'm aware my own children will fall into that category, which is why I stopped fighting people back pretty damn quickly and entered into any treatment I could (despite at the time not thinking I needed to, and didn't want to) to do absolutely anything I could to protect my children.

You need to get real OP. This isn't just back and forth on a forum, this is real people's lives including your own and you have to take ownership of this for everyones sakes.

You might think you hide it well, but that's YOUR perception. You can't hide this from your child and rest on your laurels thinking it might possibly affect them later on and then you'll do something. By then it's too late.

[quote Iwannabelikeyouohh]@Bizawit

Please explain to me how you think it would affect
my toddler? I’ve already explained up thread how
It doesn’t but accept it may in the future if I don’t continue to push for help.

I didn’t say it doesn’t affect my DH. It does.
He’s the person I offload to and seek the most reassurance from. Of course it has an effect on him.[/quote]
Well if it affects your DH, it automatically affects your toddler. Anything that makes mum and dad stressed , unhappy and anxious will indirectly affect a toddler. They are sponges and pick on so much more than we realise.