Am I going to die :(

[Iwannabelikeyouohh]

My husband has just had a positive LFT.

I’m absolutely petrified. I’m extremely obese with a BMI of 40.

I am fully vaccinated but I have had two different vaccines. 1 AZ and 1 Pfizer.

I feel physically sick with worry. 😓

To help you feel more comfortable with medication whilst breastfeeding I'd throughly recommend the Breastfeeding Network. It's run by a pharmacist and Breastfeeding advocate and has great well researched information on medications and breastfeeding. There's a very helpful Facebook group run by her too.

Yes, I know about all the threads. But maybe you'd be better off posting nothing if you're just going to make the OP feel worse.

It's not my intention to make you feel worse OP. If I have done that I apologise. Take care of yourself and your family.

@Babybellblue

You mentioned on another thread you were up at 2am scouring for articles on covid

2am looking at Covid articles. Are you sure you aren’t confusing me for someone else?

I struggle to stay awake past 11am these days. 🤣

@squee123

To help you feel more comfortable with medication whilst breastfeeding I'd throughly recommend the Breastfeeding Network. It's run by a pharmacist and Breastfeeding advocate and has great well researched information on medications and breastfeeding. There's a very helpful Facebook group run by her too.

@squee123

Thank you. I have already spoke to Wendy there.
She has been great and made me feel much better about taking Sertraline.

@BlameItOnTheBlackStar

Yes, I know about all the threads. But maybe you'd be better off posting nothing if you're just going to make the OP feel worse.

I disagree, I think Babybellblue has been spot on with her advice. Returning to the same topic time and time again is not going to help the OP move forward with her anxiety.

Yeah, you’re probably all right. I’ve posted so many times. I can imagine you’re all pretty fed up of answering. Sorry.

Don't apologise. People that are fed up can just scroll on.

The thing is its not about being fed up with answering, its that people trying to reassure the OP are not actually helping the OP as it is just feeding the anxiety and making it worse!

For example saying 99% of people are fine with covid just means the anxiety will latch on to the 1% who aren't.

@Iwannabelikeyouohh

Yeah, you’re probably all right. I’ve posted so many times. I can imagine you’re all pretty fed up of answering. Sorry.

It's frustrating that you consistently pick and choose what you seemingly do or don't take on board.

I do genuinely think that this board is making you worse.

Have followed this thread for a while & to try and put a different perspective on things (while not wanting to minimise your anxiety) but we will all die eventually - some sooner than others and likely from things we never even would have anticipated. You're somehow stuck in a loop of fear about this possibility, heightened by your weight & COVID, and this is impacting your every living day right now. It may be worth trying to change your mindset a little bit at a time by thinking of fun enjoyable things to do each day - even if just a short 10 mins dancing or listening to a couple of songs you like to sing along to, taking a walk somewhere to enjoy autumn colours & falling leaves. Try to find joy in your every day as you're at risk of spending the rest of your days fearing death rather than enjoying the precious gift of life; being with loved ones & finding small things to appreciate & love & laugh at. Easier said than done I know, but small steps might help get you moving back in the right direction again - find a favourite song & when you feel anxiety levels spiralling up put that song on - find yourself some diversionary tactics. Hope you manage to start enjoying life again more soon :)

Hope you manage to spend a few days taking your ds out again with your ds and to access some more effective rl support.

Oh, for absolute fuck’s sake. Yes, it was around in Feb 2020, OP. I was officially diagnosed with it in March 2020. I bet you £100 you had it when you had the “awful fevers and headaches” because that’s EXACTLY what I had. And I’m CEV with some pretty scary issues. And overweight from these stupid steroids. You will literally have spent ALL this time worrying for NOTHING. Nothing, OP! I saw this thread weeks ago and I wanted to come back to see how you progressed when you either didn’t catch it or survived it. You’re still alive. And yet you feel no better. That’s a hell of a problem. And I’m sorry you feel it.

This is definitely not an attempt to be harsh because I take Sertraline too, and I know I need it so that my worries dont pull me under (AND I need something like Ativan for crises if I start to spiral on really bad days). It sounds like you may be in the same boat: Sertraline plus a crisis med, maybe even daily for a while. And please don’t decide just based on breastfeeding. It’s VERY important for a child to a healthy, happy mum, too.

I went out with my husband tonight to celebrate our wedding anniversary.

We had a meal and went for drinks.

It was really lovely and the fist time we’ve been out for drinks / food together since we had DS.

I actually felt really relaxed (and normal)

It’s only now I’m home that I feel very anxious about about what I’ve done and I really wish I hadn’t done it :(

We went into a really busy bar and the restaurant was busy too.

Well is worrying about it going to make it not have happened? No. So there's no point.

@thaegumathteth

Yes, I know. You’re right.

Op you have literally lived in a house with covid for two weeks including breastfeeding your son who has covid, and all your family have covid and you didn't get it. If that doesn't reassure you nothing anyone ever says ever will.

Please continue to push for more help.

@unchienandalusia

That doesn’t meant I won’t ever catch it.
Nor sure why I didn’t catch it this time but I will eventually.

You are making my point for me.

Ok OP
I don't see why you continue to post

You're using this board, whether you think you are or not, to feed into your spiral of panic. Whenever anyone says anything to try to help you, such as PPs totally reasonable post that you DIDN'T GET COVID, you ignore or fight back.

This is getting utterly infuriating now and you are, genuinely, making things worse for yourself.

If you choose not to read the posts, or choose to read and then refute the posts that are trying to help you, what are you doing on here.

This is a thread of over 500 messages which are purely you arguing back with people about why they can't possibly be right. And this is just one thread of countless of the same over the last 18 months.

I've tried, as have many, but you are quite literally refusing help, when you've seeminly reached out again and again for help, and then you just use your own narrative to spiral further.

I'm not getting involved with this anymore. There's anxiety and there's just arguing and honestly OP, you're the latter and it's just annoying now.

I hope you get actual, real life help.

@makelovenotpetrol

Ok OP I don't see why you continue to post

You're using this board, whether you think you are or not, to feed into your spiral of panic. Whenever anyone says anything to try to help you, such as PPs totally reasonable post that you DIDN'T GET COVID, you ignore or fight back.

This is getting utterly infuriating now and you are, genuinely, making things worse for yourself.

If you choose not to read the posts, or choose to read and then refute the posts that are trying to help you, what are you doing on here.

This is a thread of over 500 messages which are purely you arguing back with people about why they can't possibly be right. And this is just one thread of countless of the same over the last 18 months.

I've tried, as have many, but you are quite literally refusing help, when you've seeminly reached out again and again for help, and then you just use your own narrative to spiral further.

I'm not getting involved with this anymore. There's anxiety and there's just arguing and honestly OP, you're the latter and it's just annoying now.

I hope you get actual, real life help.

This!

OP - You do understand there’s an absolutely HUGE chance you’ve already had it? Seriously, I cannot say this any other way: get a serology test. If you breastfed a toddler with delta and “nothing happened,” you’ve probably already had it. I don’t know if this will help as you may then just fixate on post-COVID symptoms or breakthrough COVID but having that proof, then you would know for certain this is 100% your anxiety and no, it’s not rational, and no, other people (unless they also have anxiety) aren’t scared like you. As many people have tried to tell you.

The statistics say you are in more danger in a car, in a bus, even from potentially being bitten by a dog, whether once in your life OR just this year ( jech.bmj.com/content/72/4/331 ) than you are of dying from COVID. Even with your weight. No matter the calculator. Because the discrepancy in the danger is so large. COVID risk: so small. The others: so much larger.

Recognize this for what it is: a mental health crisis that other people aren’t going through and instead of seeking reassurance about COVID, seek the medication and mental help you need. Good luck, OP

@makelovenotpetrol

I’m not trying to argue with anyone.
PP said I had spent two weeks with DH and DS and not caught Covid so that should reassure me..?!

Why should that reassure me about being in a busy restaurant or bar?

Just because I didn’t catch from my family, doesn’t mean I’m not going to catch it elsewhere!

That’s nothing to do with anxiety, that’s just a matter of fact.

I know people who haven’t caught via household transmission but have them gone on to catch elsewhere.

It would be naive of me to think that since I escaped it this one time, I will escape it every time!!

@SudokuWillNotSaveYou

OP - You do understand there’s an absolutely HUGE chance you’ve already had it? Seriously, I cannot say this any other way: get a serology test. If you breastfed a toddler with delta and “nothing happened,” you’ve probably already had it. I don’t know if this will help as you may then just fixate on post-COVID symptoms or breakthrough COVID but having that proof, then you would know for certain this is 100% your anxiety and no, it’s not rational, and no, other people (unless they also have anxiety) aren’t scared like you. As many people have tried to tell you.

The statistics say you are in more danger in a car, in a bus, even from potentially being bitten by a dog, whether once in your life OR just this year ( jech.bmj.com/content/72/4/331 ) than you are of dying from COVID. Even with your weight. No matter the calculator. Because the discrepancy in the danger is so large. COVID risk: so small. The others: so much larger.

Recognize this for what it is: a mental health crisis that other people aren’t going through and instead of seeking reassurance about COVID, seek the medication and mental help you need. Good luck, OP

@SudokuWillNotSaveYou

I just don’t see how I could ever have caught it, it was before 14th March 2020.

That was the last date I left my house!!

I was on mat leave with a new baby and stayed in during lockdown except when I went for a walk and it was always alone as we weren’t allowed to meet anyone for a long time.

I didn’t go in supermarkets, restaurants or inside anyone’s homes for the remainder of 2020.

I took my DS to the Drs for immunisations and my DH did go to work in the office. But that was it.

Feb 2020 I had fever and headache and stayed in hospital due fo my temp and the fact I was pregnant.

I remember there being posts up in the hospital about if you’d returned from China and had these symptoms (cough / temp) but since I’d not been to China no one was remotely interest in the face I may have had Covid. (Which I doubt I did, but who knows)

Sadly we are all going to die one day of something.

Of Covid right now? Probably not