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Covid

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Original poster

Daughter 24 wants to come home

762 replies

AinJD · 28/03/2020 20:55

DD loves London but is working from her little room in a shared house currently as office is closed - life so different from normal and says she just wants to come home (to North Yorkshire) where she can have more space and will feel somehow safer with family. DH reluctantly (is it essential?) said he’ll fetch her tomorrow if she’s sure she wants to be here till the end of the lockdown. He will go there and back, no interactions with anyone but her. We all feel guilty already at going against the spirit of the guidance, but she’s taken care to walk everywhere for the past two weeks, is not ill and will self-isolate in her room here for seven days on arrival. It is probably not essential but feels natural for her to want to be here with us and of course we don’t really in our hearts want to say no. We almost wish there was a form to fill in for this mission!

OP posts:

Takemebackto · 28/03/2020 21:12

I would get her now as they may in the future make the lockdown have more restrictions.

AnyFucker · 28/03/2020 21:12

Go fetch your daughter. I would do it in a heartbeat.

cakeandchampagne · 28/03/2020 21:13

Go and get her.

Sosounhappy · 28/03/2020 21:14

No you can't lots of people want to be elsewhere but can't

Baaaahhhhh · 28/03/2020 21:14

DD came back 2 weeks ago and has been ill since, so in one way not great, but she was all alone in her flat, her housemates all went home too, so I am glad she came home. Dh would've gone to get her anyway. As it happens our dilemma is having to go back in to collect more stuff as she came back by train and only brought a small amount home. The flat needs checking too. Is going back to her flat essential?

TheQueensCousin · 28/03/2020 21:14

Definitely go and get her.

Doilooklikeatourist · 28/03/2020 21:15

I’d get her , I wanted DS (24 ) and living just outside London , but working from home to come and live with us in the countryside , obviously his GF would be welcome too , but they chose to stay
FaceTiming or messaging every night though

Olawisk · 28/03/2020 21:16

Go and get her

raskolnikova · 28/03/2020 21:17

Just FYI North Yorkshire police are doing road checkpoints to check if your journey is essential.

BumbleBeee69 · 28/03/2020 21:19

She lives/works in LONDON ?! that alone would have me saying No....
How many people is she sharing with exactly ? and you're telling us she has not shared space with any of them since this crisis broke ?

I think you are taking a risk... but the risk is yours and your DH's ... it's a choice you have already made... no point saying otherwise ...

justasking111 · 28/03/2020 21:20

Went to get DS from halls. Told him when he had finished packing up the car, dad sat in car the whole time he had to remove his clothes next to the car put them in a bin bag and put clean clothes on. He understood bless him. Everything he brought back went into the garage for a few days was sorted, disinfected, washed and tumbled before going into his room. He also used his own loo, sink for a week.

We are all fine.

DontGetYrTitsInATangle · 28/03/2020 21:20

I wouldn't be able to not go and get her.

justasking111 · 28/03/2020 21:21

Oh he also came into house, stripped off in bathroom and showered with soap from head to foot. I left a laundry basket in there.

IDSNeighbour · 28/03/2020 21:24

So she did a non essential journey by public transport and turned out to be ill? That's why the rules are in place! She could have given it to someone vulnerable on that train. I know she did nothing wrong because she made the journey pre lockdown. But people will still do it now on the grounds on 'we want to be together, we're family.'

I want to be with some family or friends so much. Living alone sucks right now. But it's not the right choice.

It's interesting that everyone else on the thread would go and get her and everyone else on the thread has children. I suppose I'm the only one in the daughter position rather than the mother position and maybe parental instinct overrides rules/the most sensible option. But I still don't think you should go.

PegasusReturns · 28/03/2020 21:24

Of course you go and get her.

Why is your DH reluctant?

Myimaginarypenguinhasfleas · 28/03/2020 21:25

Yes you should get her. Follow the very sensible hygiene precautions suggested above and it will be fine.

I have offered to collect my DC because currently they live alone and would struggle to manage if they became ill. So far they are managing but if they caught the virus I would want to both nurse them and help contain the infection.

IDSNeighbour · 28/03/2020 21:26

I think my mum would have me back if I asked to be fair. But I couldn't live with the guilt of her getting very ill or even dying because I wanted to be with her. A tiny risk, yes. But it stops me from even asking.

Casino218 · 28/03/2020 21:28

She could bring it back with her as you can transfer virus before symptoms and you face the biggest threat. So I think that's a tricky call.

MillicentMartha · 28/03/2020 21:31

I went and got DS1 on Monday evening for similar reasons. No judgement here.

Potkettlexx · 28/03/2020 21:31

She’s a 24 year old woman not 12 year old on a school trip. She moved to London-the big smoke and that’s not for the faint hearted.

She might be bored but if everyone started going to pick up grown up relatives then where would we be?!

It’s absolutely not essential. What if she’s got it unbeknown to her? The fact a London is a hotspot for it. Then you’s will get it an then those you contact etc...

It’s not easy for anyone... she’s 24 like! 🙄

Original poster

AinJD · 28/03/2020 21:32

Phew, that was fast! Overwhelming support and just the one giving the exact reasons for our ambivalence. However, Leobynature’s incredulity at the question swings it so far. DH will go, make clear that she should have decided a week ago and that she will self-isolate for the seven days. DD is a very responsible and lovely person who has been to’ing and fro‘ing on this for three whole days so I know must be really feeling a need to be here. Thank you.

OP posts:

Hepzibar · 28/03/2020 21:32

I'd get her, I'd walk there and carry her home on my back.

yoloPenguinsEatfish · 28/03/2020 21:33

Yep, I'd go and get her. DD1 came home from French Alps 6 days ago (seasonnaire worker). The relief of knowing we are all under the same roof outweighs the anxiety of knowing she is somewhere else and possibly in trouble - for us at least. And Dh is immunosuppressed following chemo, but we'd still rather she was here and we can deal with whatever we have to.

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 28/03/2020 21:33

Go get her. My dh nobly went to collect my 91yo df from the South of France the week before last - his French wife is still there :{

Felt obliged to do as he wanted. Now he's isolated in his house here - we wave and cut his grass - but he was happy to be close to the people who love him most. I feel bloody useless in the whole scenario - can't even give him a hug :{

Frankiecandle · 28/03/2020 21:33

Of course you should go and get her.

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