Reach out to your Jewish and Muslim / Palestinian friends

[TootlesPoodle]

Posting in AIBU for traffic.

I’ve got a few Jewish and Muslim friends (with links to Palestine) and many of them have said they’re a bit saddened that friends / employers etc. aren’t reaching out to them to check in at what is obviously a stressful and upsetting time. Especially when similar terrorist attacks, conflicts / aggressions, murders, civil rights issues are usually followed by a big effort to check in with diaspora people or those with links or family or who may be feeling particularly triggered or scared by seeing people like them being targeted.

Lots of British Jews in particular are struggling with the silence from their friends and colleagues because

• the global Jewish population is very small which means most diaspora Jews will have relatives and friends in Israel, even if they have never been there and strongly disagree with the current regime
• most have grown up hearing stories of grandparents and relatives who were murdered in or fled pogroms or concentration camps, but these things were firmly in the PAST, nightmares and stories. So seeing a pogrom style attack happening to Jewish civilians again is terrifying.
• For lots of diaspora Jews, the idea of Israel as a safe place of refuge that they could go to if there was nowhere else to flee too is comforting. Whether they agree with the current Israeli government or not. Knowing there was at least one safe place where they wouldn’t have to face what their relatives faced if another holocaust or pogroms happened, feels a bit like having an emergency savings account / fuck off fund. You hope you’ll never need it, you don’t need it right now, but knowing it’s there in case the worst happens makes you feel safe. Israel now no longer feels safe, both because of what Hamas have done and because the way the Israeli government is over responding is going to fuel hatred of the country and its citizens and probably diaspora Jews too.

British Muslims or Palestinians, especially those with links to Palestine, will be feeling similarly angry, terrified and stressed. They’ll be worried about friends and relatives, scarred by seeing civilians like them - most of whom probably just want to get on with their lives - being murdered or displaced. Even if they are comforted by seeing marches and demonstrations, they may feel abandoned because the governments of the countries they live in are supporting Israel, and may continue supporting the Israeli government if it’s actions get more extreme.

So if you’re wondering whether you should reach out and check in with a friend or colleague, or asking your HR team to send out a message - do. They will probably really appreciate it.

If any Jews or Muslims or Palestinians or Israelis living in the UK would like to share some human ways we can all help and support you and show compassion during what must be an awful time, please do.

And please, keep it civil. This thread is about humans showing compassion to humans.

He’s a hot headed Corbynite. I’ve known it since day one of meeting him. It’s by far his worst trait in an otherwise decent guy.

Massive antisemites who double down on hurling abuse at Jewish people they know, when they try to reach out to them, aren't decent people.

You might think you're his friend. He's certainly not yours.

My employer has offered support and I did make a point of speaking when in the office to the one colleague who I know to be Jewish (just general how are things?).

Hang on, when did I say he hurled abuse at me? He doubled down on his arguments, he never once abused me personally. Dont put words in my mouth. I was disappointed that he didn’t recognise that the (skewed) memes he was putting up were hurting me without a “I understand, but..” clause. I would have preferred “I understand” (full stop)

I also think there IS a difference between being pro Palestine and being anti semitic by the way. Even as a Jew I see the point of view of the Palestinians. My problem is with the terrorist organisation Hamas, not peaceful Palestinians who want a home, the same as the rest of us.

When this all started, I reached out to a Jewish friend; he thanked me, said he was worried about his sons and then expressed concern for the innocents of Gaza. It was a generous response given the atrocities of that dreadful weekend. I have read it again a few times to remind myself that there are many people who care about all the innocent causalities of this horrific war, even if personally affected. It helps.

Especially when I read polarised stuff online.

Like with Brexit, the pandemic etc, the moderate voices in the middle tend to get drowned out. Good to see so many others on this thread.

Yes-I don't think that it's appropriate to start a debate with someone just on the basis of their religion/ethnicity, but I don't think that's what the OP was suggesting. Just to say that you are thinking of them- especially if you know they have relatives or friends in the region.

My Muslim friends come from India/ Bangladesh, Saudi Arabia, Morocco and Tunisia. Why would I reach out to them to see if they want to talk about it? This is not an attack on all Muslims, and by making it seem like it is, this will quickly grow into something much bigger.
As for my Jewish friends… I don’t think any have family in Israel, so same applies.
i have, however, reached out to my colleague in Israel to tell them to stay safe.

There are still voices for peace, despite the horrors.

www.allmep.org

www.oasisofpeace.org.uk

Tomorrow's Women - Leadership organization for young Palestinian and Israeli women (tomorrowswomen.org)

onevoicemovement.org.uk

Jewish people feel that this is an attack on all Jews though. The very definition of antisemitism. And Hamas and their fellow travelers are calling for the death of all Jews. I’m not sure how difficult it is to see that unless you are wilfully not seeing it.

Because the first thing that muslims are asked is do you condemn Hamas like we all support them or something.

Also because of the way that muslims are we genuinely feel like the bombs falling on Palestinians are falling on our own family (whether it be Palestinian muslims or Christians).

Naturally you’ll find a muslim who’ll say they don’t care what happens in Palestine but they’ll be the minority.

Its good to encourage people to be thoughtful but, really, we’ve been told so many times these past few weeks that it’s antisemitism to ask Jews about Israel. I would be a bit wary.

If someone reached out the way you're suggesting, as a Muslim I'd appreciate it. It's always nice to be thought of. It's like when it's Christmas/ Eid and we reach out to our neighbours of a different faith to wish them a lovely time. Not necessarily but always nice to be on the receiving end of someone's thoughts and well wishes.

But you have to understand that from a Muslims point view this is a very passionate subject. We've been crying and screaming about the injustice done to the Palestinian people for years and years. And only after an attack on Israelis is it being spoken about. It's scary and devastating for all people directly and indirectly connected to this conflict. So while most will smile and say thank you, some might go off on one. Just know that it's coming from a place of incredible frustration.

I don’t have anyone to reach out to, as far as I’m aware.

Regardless of any individual’s opinion of or feeling affected by the situation, and the fear of othering them, Islamic hate crime has doubled and Jewish hate crime increased ten fold over a similar period last year. (Statistics maybe woolly as I’ve a bad memory).

so absolutely reach out, as a stand against hate crime of nothing else.

You said he's a passionate Corbynite and a person who didn't care or listen when you, a Jewish person he knows in reality, reached out to him.

This has nothing to do with the Palestinians. Corbyn's antisemitism runs way deeper and has far older historical roots than that.

Your friend is not a decent guy. Sorry. He's a huge fan of a massive antisemite. And he doesn't give a damn about you.

Funny, because I've had kind, supportive, caring emails from at least 10 separate non-jewish friends since October 7th.

None of them "asked me about israel". And none of them seemed to find it in any way difficult to avoid being antisemitic. Most people don't.

Most antisemites are very invested in pretending that that isn't true.

Despite the rather obvious evidence - see attached.

Funny, because I've had kind, supportive, caring emails from at least 10 separate non-jewish friends since October 7th.

None of them "asked me about israel". And none of them seemed to find it in any way difficult to avoid being antisemitic. Most people don't

Yes, I’m sure.

Which bit are you accusing me of lying about? Just to be clear?

Which bit are you accusing me of lying about? Just to be clear?

I’m not accusing you of lying. I just don’t really want to be jumped on for making a fairly innocuous comment.

Since @Defiantjazz has decided to call me a liar for sharing my own first hand experience, here (anonymised) are just some of the many supportive emails I've received from non Jewish friends in the past 3 weeks. Funny how none of them seem to end up being accidentally antisemitic or needing to "ask me about israel" can't share other messages as they are voice messages or via phone conversations/in person

Hi x,

I want to send solidarity in the face of the appalling anti-semitism the Jewish community is dealing with. I’m so sorry.

Take good care and speak soon.

x

I’ve just had to do a job but couldn’t concentrate as images I had seen made me sick too. It’s just horrendous I can’t watch anymore but I can’t not. I was working with clients in L.A & nobody said anything

Glad we are meeting up - hope you are OK bearing in mind the unimaginable shit I am seeing and reading about over there. I’ll put a note to your mum and dad too ❤️❤️

Oh x, it's heartbreaking, words can't convey it. I wanted to send you a message but wasn't sure what to say. Everyday is worse stories and even more awful to feel unsafe in your home city. I hope [my daughter] isn't getting any racist shit.
Please protect your mental health though - maybe you don't need to see the social media.
We are around half term week xx

Hi x, I've been thinking about you over the last few days with the awful events in Israel. How are you guys doing? Do you have any family there? Sending you lots of love xxx#

Ah, my beautiful friend, I can't believe all the violence and hurt that just keeps escalating since we were chatting about pints and autumn walks and swimming pools. How are you all? Sending love ❤️

Hi [my husband], forgot to ask, how are you and family with all the Israel-Gaza shit going on? All doing ok?

that is how people who actually care about their Jewish friends, who actually have Jewish friends, and who aren't looking to try to point score with underhand little comments, show true caring and solidarity. These are not the only messages I received, just a sample. Every single one of them reached out to me at this, the darkest time I can ever remember as a Jew in Britain, and lifted me out of the depths of what has at times been close to suicidal depression.

What a gracious and decent apology
It wasn’t an apology* *