Reach out to your Jewish and Muslim / Palestinian friends

[TootlesPoodle]

Posting in AIBU for traffic.

I’ve got a few Jewish and Muslim friends (with links to Palestine) and many of them have said they’re a bit saddened that friends / employers etc. aren’t reaching out to them to check in at what is obviously a stressful and upsetting time. Especially when similar terrorist attacks, conflicts / aggressions, murders, civil rights issues are usually followed by a big effort to check in with diaspora people or those with links or family or who may be feeling particularly triggered or scared by seeing people like them being targeted.

Lots of British Jews in particular are struggling with the silence from their friends and colleagues because

• the global Jewish population is very small which means most diaspora Jews will have relatives and friends in Israel, even if they have never been there and strongly disagree with the current regime
• most have grown up hearing stories of grandparents and relatives who were murdered in or fled pogroms or concentration camps, but these things were firmly in the PAST, nightmares and stories. So seeing a pogrom style attack happening to Jewish civilians again is terrifying.
• For lots of diaspora Jews, the idea of Israel as a safe place of refuge that they could go to if there was nowhere else to flee too is comforting. Whether they agree with the current Israeli government or not. Knowing there was at least one safe place where they wouldn’t have to face what their relatives faced if another holocaust or pogroms happened, feels a bit like having an emergency savings account / fuck off fund. You hope you’ll never need it, you don’t need it right now, but knowing it’s there in case the worst happens makes you feel safe. Israel now no longer feels safe, both because of what Hamas have done and because the way the Israeli government is over responding is going to fuel hatred of the country and its citizens and probably diaspora Jews too.

British Muslims or Palestinians, especially those with links to Palestine, will be feeling similarly angry, terrified and stressed. They’ll be worried about friends and relatives, scarred by seeing civilians like them - most of whom probably just want to get on with their lives - being murdered or displaced. Even if they are comforted by seeing marches and demonstrations, they may feel abandoned because the governments of the countries they live in are supporting Israel, and may continue supporting the Israeli government if it’s actions get more extreme.

So if you’re wondering whether you should reach out and check in with a friend or colleague, or asking your HR team to send out a message - do. They will probably really appreciate it.

If any Jews or Muslims or Palestinians or Israelis living in the UK would like to share some human ways we can all help and support you and show compassion during what must be an awful time, please do.

And please, keep it civil. This thread is about humans showing compassion to humans.

At my place of work there has been a central statement and support offered. I've personally sent a message of support to someone that I know is affected by this.

This is the best post I've seen on the whole subject. No mud slinging. Just compassion for troubled fellow humans.

I agree. 👏🏽 👏🏽

Good on you @BlackJumpsuit

I read about a group of Muslim
and Jewish women who were attending one another’s services to show solidarity.

We need a women’s peace march. I’m agnostic but would gladly go shoulder to shoulder with women of any faith who want to show solidarity with those suffering on both sides of the conflict.

https://www.womenwagepeace.org.il/en/
There is this women's movement for peace, a grassroots Israeli organisation, but inclusive and reaching out to a sister group in Palestine, the Women of the Sun. A tiny light in a dark sky.
Just like you referred to, @Abra1t .

Thank you’

To add to the women wage peace, which could do with a bit more media attention is this song by Yael Deckelbaum called “prayer of the mothers”

Bump

Thank you for your wisdom @TootlesPoodle

I was very touched when a friend from school reached out to me, it really touched me.

That's lovely, @Weefreetiffany

This thread has made me feel like the clouds are parting and the light can get through. Thank you so much for starting it. I have a very old friend who is Jewish and I've got covid, so I've been lying in a fever wondering what to say and how to say it and how to be sensitive blah blah. I'm feeling better and now I've seen this I feel a bit hopeful and clearer and I'm going to send her a message right now.
Just a message of love. Nothing complicated. Thank you so much. 💕

Honestly it wouldn't have occurred to me to do this, but I think that's my naivety showing. I have just now messaged friends, so thank you for suggesting this.

Done it. xx

It’s difficult though. On a thread the other day the OP (who was Jewish) basically said it’s anti-Semitic or islamophobic to assume that Jewish/Muslim people have an opinion/want to talk about the current situation. She said you wouldn’t go up to a Muslim person and ask them how they felt about a terrorist attack by isis or whatever so why would you approach a Jewish/Muslim person about this?

So for that reason I probably wouldn’t say anything at all.

I follow Standing Together a group of Jewish and Palestinian citizens working together to promote peace, cooperation and social justice.

Im Jewish. I have family in Israel. I am furious that extremists on both sides are making their innocent people pay the ultimate price for their refusal to work together and acknowledge one another’s right to existence. My friends, most of which aren’t Jewish have all showed their support and horror at what’s happening. I felt very touched indeed. So this post, asking people to do the same is so lovely. Thank you .

I'm hesitant to mention the whole situation to anyone who is likely to have strong feelings about it to be completely honest.

Actually I have been impressed mostly at work with people doing this in an unobtrusive way.

Not impressed with the one colleague who had to tell everyone his concerns and politics. Hard stare and a "what are you expecting me to change" there.

I'm curious whether you also reached out to Muslims anytime in the past 5 years about the treatment of Uyghur Muslims.

I agree.

There's also a lot more to this situation that just religion. Even other Muslim countries are 'backing' different sides.
Also while this is currently the subject of headlines there has been far more conflict between/within Muslim countries. South vs North Sudan, sunni vs shia, etc etc.

If you're not 'checking in' for the latter why the big fuss about this?

Also, as much as people have feelings about this. The UK is in a shit condition now. Winter is approaching, COL, redundancies everywhere. Many people are struggling to survive. They don't have the bandwidth to 'feel abandoned' be angry/terrified/stressed about happenings in other parts of the world. I'm from a majority Muslim country and most people are concerned with surviving.

If someone is a friend you know has strong feelings definitely. But reaching out to randoms solely based on religion is quite othering. Assuming their opinions and feelings.

I imagine the OP on that thread was probably more talking about engaging Jewish or Muslim people in a debate or discussion about the politics of the situation, or expecting them to condemn one side or another, or tackling them in some other vaguely confrontational way.

I don’t imagine that a compassionate check in or message of love, (or cake) is going to go down badly. Though you know your friends best.

I think the issue feels quite relevant for most Jewish people for the reasons explained upthread, regardless of whether they have direct links to Israel or not. Not least because the people who were attacked were attacked because they were ethnically Jewish, rather than Israeli government supporters.

For Muslims perhaps it’s less personally relevant unless they do have links to Palestine, as the Muslim diaspora is much larger and there are a lot of Muslim majority countries in the world and only one Jewish one. I’m no expert either way. Can any Muslims weigh in here?

I was thinking about doing something along these lines with friends I have in both communities.

But to be honest the dialogue I have seen on MN is so extreme and intolerant of any more moderate viewpoint that I am concerned about this reflecting what might happen in real life.

I’m very much of the point of view that Hamas are horrific, evil monsters who deserved to be wiped out. I am also deeply concerned by the state-sanctioned obliteration of innocents in Gaza and Israel’s breaches of international law.

However it seems to be (on MN at least) that it is very difficult to express concerns about Israel’s approach without being accused of supporting Hamas and their practices of rape and beheading babies. Conversely, any suggestion that Hamas are responsible for this escalation is treated as an endorsement of Israel’s indiscriminate retaliation and evidence of ignorance about Israel’s past transgressions.

I wholeheartedly with your sentiment OP, but am concerned that in practice people might want more than a general expression of compassion and indeed may find anything other than absolute support disappointing.

You don't need to ask for their opinion, you just say that you're very sorry about the current situation and hope that they're okay.

I absolutely don't assume my Jewish friends and clients want to talk Middle East politics with me.
I have however mentioned to them that they have been in my thoughts given recent events.
I was surprised by how strongly some of my clients responded telling me that they lived in areas with very small Jewish communities and they appreciated my thoughts ( I live in the USA)

If I worked with Palestinians I would extend the same thoughts to them.