30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

I think that you can support someone without being in the exact same situation as them though...the world would be a fucking lonely place otherwise!

Aye, 'tis troo, Wise Gin

I want to howl now. I want my mum even though she's a mental old bat and would never say such a lovely thing to me as that! Here's a weird thing - the other night (I'm told) I woke up yelling "Mum, MUM!" in the middle of the night . At my age! She must never get to hear of it - would make her insufferably smug.

A quick biology question - I have always thought and recently grandly proclaimed that I have regular cycles. But looking at the calendar, in the last three months they have gone 27, 29 and 31 days. Is that considered "irregular" or "don't be silly, of course it's normal"? Can't remember before that as idiot Husband threw out 2009's calendar. I mean, didn't he realise I'd be wanting it three months later for menstruation counting. Tsssk.

I'm not sure but I wouldn't have thought that counted as irregular. They're all within a few days of each other and not overly long or short in themselves.

We are heading home. Which is just as well as I'd given up putting on a brave face. Had to go and hide yesterday evening and had a little sob into my pillow. Cried most of this morning too. My head hurts now.

(((EXtreme))) UnBeshly hugs to you, and to you all. Too many cute babies around at the moment.

"Hey Medee, have you spoken to your Doc? I think I'd be inclined to ask for bloods if I were you - go and weep and wail!"

I'm giving it one more on the CBFM (which will be my second) and then am definitely doing that. Not convinced I am ov'ing at all, though I know I have done once due to an OPK.

Sounds fairly regular, Ariebella.

Yes, *Cockaleekie" was going on holiday, not sure how long for.

Damn. Thought I had posted to extreme but clearly didn't work. Really nothing to say, just wanted to wish for good things for you.

I've just bought a conception book. FFS - why? It'll just make me stress about legumes, pumpkin seeds and flaxseed oil.

What a twat

On the other hand, Husband has just picked it up and shown the faintest glimmer of interest, if only to read passages out in an American drawl amidst much sniggering so it may not be an entirely wasted £10.99. Maybe he took on board some things subliminally.

which book did you get, Aries?

Heidi Murkoff - What to Expect Before You're Expecting. Someone's going to tell me it's shit now aren't they? I thought it was a British book and would therefore not be so paranoia inducing, but it was just a British edition. Talks about MDs and pap smears and physicals rather than GPs, smear tests and medicals.

Someone's going to write one soon entitled "What to Eat from the Day You Are Born If You Possibly Want to Procreate". Or something.

Meds, this is the first time we've chatted

Sorry, that sounded a bit stalkery as though I'm keeping a tally chart in a notebook. I'm not, honest!

really? Well, how nice to chat!

Is she the same author as "what to expect when you are expecting?". If so, I believe she is well regarded.

I bought a terrible fertility diet book, full of unscientific cobblers that Ben Goldacre would have a field day over. Apparently, dry cleaners have a statistically higher rate of infertility due to the chemicals used... this author extrapolated that to mean you shouldn't wear dry cleaned clothes when ttc.

STOOPID! Of course I don't think you're weird and sad (maybe a touch menkul ) and I'm not breaking friends! I was just trying to be sarky at you saying you weren't stalking! C'mere for a hug, silly girl...

I've read several ttc books, some excellent (like 'The Infertility Cure', thanks to Polly, and 'The Baby-Making Bible') and some shit, of the 'If your great-great-grandmother didn't live on a mountain and eat an organic raw-food diet then you're basically fucked' variety. I find that they mainly fall into 2 categories: a) patronising beyond belief ('why not try vaginal intercourse?') or b) impossibly prescriptive and unattainable claptrap ('on days 4, 11 and 19 of your cycle you must drink organic rat's milk sieved through the used loin cloth of a Buddhist monk before dawn whilst facing the East', that sort of shite). But I can't stop the urge to read them as though one will hold a specific tip that will be the winner for me

God, Bank Holidays are miserable and shite.

Come to Aberdeen, they don't do Easter here. Weirdos.

Sorry. Hormonal. Hurumph. No excuse.

Oh, and by the way, does that mean you have to try vaginal intercourse?

Ok, I need to win a baybee so I can buy this: tinyurl.com/y98llah

Muser, that's so cute I think I may have self-fertilised! That website is a-mazing!

Aries, I've heard people say you need to do it in the foofoo, but I reckon it's just an Old Wives' Tale. You stick to holding his hand and praying to Teh Baybee Jebus.

If I buy this, surely my baybee will swiftly follow?

BTW, there is a fucking mindblowing little shop in Amsterdam which just sells fairytale-themed items for little girls (and big girls like me, ahem) - but not spangly princess crap, ho no; all red and apple green and toadstool motifs and Northern European kitsch. And don't get me started on the handmade dresses and tops fashioned from vintage fabric at the Nordermarkt! (My bro lives is the 'Dam, so I go there often)

Clothilde never seems to appreciate anything I put her in

Just read extreme's post and had a teary moment. I have no words, pal. Sending love and I don't fucking care how unBESHly.

Well now I'm jealous that Aries ain't stalking monitoring me. Jeez, what's a girl got to do?!

thanks for the clothing suggestions muse and Scorps. Swear to god I felt my uterus contract.

Well now. So this is the second night in a row I have had no sleep. Fuck knows what I've done to myself but my whole upper back is one rigid ice-cold iron-hard block of pain. I've been taking so many painkillers I feel sick, and nada. Not a dent. Been emailing every osteopath in the local area. Given that a short journey on the bus yesterday left me yelping helplessly in pain every time the driver braked, I think we can safely say SWI is off the menu (for I ovulate as I type). To add insult to ghastly injury, at 3pm precisely three years' work culminates in a final supervision with The Great Man, who has been reading that shit I made up The Great Work. I had intended to be gleamingly groomed and self-possessed but plainly will be a shaking grey-faced hollow-eyed wreck. Oh look, I'm crying! Top work

Note to self: sleep deprivation = not fun.

My poor love. I was feeling sorry for myself for being up at this hour grumpily hunched over a hot water bottle but that sounds truly excruciating. Can you remember twisting or jarring? Thought we hadn't seen your chirpy posts for a couple of days.

Hello ladies. Can I join you? I don't know if I'm allowed, I already have one DS who is just coming up for 2. We've been TTC No.2 for 7 months now, and all I have to show for it at the moment is raging period pain, the most disgusting period in history and the shits, while all around me friends are getting pregnant for the 1st, 2nd or 79th time seemingly by just looking at each other over a candlelit dinner.

So I wouldn't mind hanging out, but if the fact I already have a DS makes it hard for others I'll go again, no hard feelings.

Headbanger: just to say I'm a student chiropractor and my advice to you would be to get yourself an emergency appt at your GP this morning (or go to your local urgent care place) and demand an injection of anti-spasmodic / muscle relaxant. Then get yourself into a chiro/osteo in the next couple of days. But try and get some help of the medicinal kind today, now if you can. Then when you do get to a chiro/osteo the initial spasm will hopefully have decreased so they can help more - plus it will help you (a) sleep and (b) not weep over your boss later. HTH.

Sorry, just read that back. Didn't mean it to sound bossy, just typing quickly in between doing stuff

Welcome Casserole. Having an existing child does not exclude you from BESHness. Some of our top lovelies have them. Your views on droids and canvas are important though.

Does anyone know where the quiz is? Or will Casserole have to find it as the first test? Welcome. Headbanger usually does an evil laugh here, but I don't think she's up to it, so I wonder if anyone would mind if I give it a ago: mwooh ha ha ha haaaaaah Was it ok?

That sounds like fine advice from Casserole, Headcase. I'm so for you.