30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

I thought it was out of order too.

Is anyone else watching this Louis Theroux programme? I am boggling at a lot of it and wondering what Dr Tanya would make of the 6 year old who has tantrums when he loses and got an OCD diagnosis.

Morning. I think this baybee does not want to be born at christmas

Had a temp drop this morning, lowest of the triphasic - in fact I think it back in the biphasic realm ifkwim.

www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2b93a5

Thought I'd POAS to stop myself worrying, hoping for a big fat line but have the palest crappest ever.

I am panicking like an a menkul. This is all my fault for being so smug about SIL. That, and helping Jane drag a boat up the slipway yesterday.

I've still got the progesterone pessaries in my drawer, do you think it will do any good to start using them? I guess if the pregnancy hormone is dropping then progesterone won't do much anyway. Oh fuck I don't know what to do. I am all shaky.

I don't know anything about temping or pessaries Poo so don't know what to advise. Can I just give you a big fat hug instead? And if it is going wrong (which you can't be sure of) then it is definitely not your fault. I hope everything is ok.

Oh poo I have absolutely no sound advice at all I'm afraid. Maybe get to GP soon as?

Keep us posted lurve, xx

I'll repeat this here in case it helps anyone else - I had a massive drop in temp after BFP, below the coverline. It made me stop temping cause was causing too much stress.

Also, cheapies took ages to get strong lines.

Hope that helps poo. One day at a time - and please don't panic.

Polly I also do not know anything about charting and pessaries. I had a look at your chart and the temperature does not seem much lower than 11 DPO. Is it meant to just go on rasing? Can you get to a GP? So, so sorry, big hugs. Although like everyone else I really do not know what is going on and if it is going wrong. I will be thinking of you.

Fanks all. I am trying to remain calm and trying to think of nice things Boo and I can do today, to take my mind off it.

Saturday's test and today's are FR, so I was hoping to get a really nice strong line to put my mind at rest. TG said maybe it was a duff test, but I am not so convinced on that one! Bless him for trying though.

Thanks Casp - I had forgotten about your temp drop in my panic.

I've rung the fertility clinic and left a message to ask about the progesterone stuff, so hopefully someone will get back to me soon.

I guess really there is nothing I can do except try and relax and think positive thoughts... Deep breaths....

Got to drop car at garage soon so may go into town and find a superdrug to get some more reliable HPTs. And then maybe take Boo to the beach.

I am now panicking that every twinge in the wombular area or slight sense of backache is sign of impending doom. FFS.

More deep breathing....

poo glad you've called FC, hopefully they'll be able to put your mind at ease. A day at the beach with Boo sounds wonderful. If I bring some cheese sandwiches, can I come too?

Oh PollingStation, I would be feeling menkul exactly the same. Temping is a double-edged sword. My Needles Lady says Zita West is v. anti-temping as there are so many teeny-tiny factors that could cause a big drop or rise that the only thing they're good for is showing the first temp rise that indicates ovulation, and even then, ZW doesn't reckon it's much cop - she thinks it can cause you to panic too much or at least, read too much into the temps. Not that I am ZW fanatic, not at all, but thought it might help to get one leading expert's view on temping.

Keep us updated - I'll be at work, so no web access, but will be sending you all my love and huuuuuuuuuuuuuge velcro vibes for your Joe Mangel

In haste as off to the GP but wanted to say Poo please don't panic. But at the same time I know of course exactly why you'd be panicking. I think Scorp and ZW are right, so many things can affect body temp. Am utterly rooting for you and practically hugging the screen of my PC.

Polly I'm willing your baby to be a sticky one, and hoping that all our positive vibes are entirely unnecessary as it's cheerfully making itself at home, oblivious to all the menkul. Can entirely understand the menkul though, hope the fertility clinic are reassuring.

And belatedly gah to the droid for Medee. A 50 day cycle sounds great in normal life (rarity of droid) but a nightmare when ttc. Definitely sounds like one to get the medics looking at, then if all's fine you'll have reassurance and if not you'll hopefully know what's going on and what to do about it.

Dont know what to say Pollster, except what's been said already. Thinking and hoping for you.

LYRA Good news on PapaLyra, really hope it continues.

Head good luck at GP. I ventured onto another fred (only out of boredom for a looksee, honest) & someone there mentioned ovulation bleeding. Apparently different to droid or implantation bleeding. I know not more on the details front, so google at your peril. Keep us posted on what GP says.

I'm totally ignoring your previous chants for me to POAS, as I'm only CD21. And confuzzled as I haven't had surge on OPK nor EWCM (although the wise cho did previously warn me that the Clomid could, ahem, dry me up a bit).

medee 50 day cycle is rubbish.

cock if your lurking do come back. Hope you're OK.

gin I hope you're not lurking & have managed somehow to get to Barcelona. Or at the very least you're holed up in a gorgeous hotel in UK.

Speak later beeatches, x

Back from GP. I feel like I've been hit by a lorry .

Okay, so. I'll explain, and I'll have to give a bit of background so you understand the lorry-struck feeling (sorry for those who know it all already...).

The OM and I haven't been using contraception for a year. There's no way I would call that 'trying for a year', because in that time what with various ishoos (inc. the OM having troubles, me having troubles, 12 hour night shifts being what they are etc.) we hardly ever managed it and rarely to, erm, a satisfactory conclusion from the OM's point of view . 3 months ago we decided to take it more seriously so I'd say in all honesty we've been properly trying for 3 months.

The first month, nothing - just the droid. The second month, spotting mid-cycle, thought it was implantation and I'd won, then the droid . This month, spotting mid-cycle, realised it might not be implantation 'cos of not winning last time, booked GP appointment. Droid due Wednesday.

Well. I tried to explain this to the GP (I am a very honest girl!) but I think what he heard was 'woman in her 30s has had a year of babyfailure'. He practically went to DefCon Four. Swear to God. I'm surprised an alarm didn't go off. He said, 'have you been having The Secks at least once a week', and I said you're joking ain'tcha, the OM's a cop! Some weeks No Secks, mush! I then got all flustered and kept saying "THREE MONTHS! THREE MONTHS! NOT A YEAR, MAN!" but he was most insistent.

Anyway, the upshot is I am going for the full MOT. Blood tests, scan, smears, swabs, and JIAP for the OM. Then he actually said the words, "We can't refer you for fertility treatment until all the results are back in 6-8 weeks." At this point I went into the corner and quietly threw up my dippy eggs - I didn't expect him to use the dread words 'fertility treatment' in my presence for at least another year. Obviously I still think that won't be necessary, FGS! Can I say it again? THREE MONTHS OF PROPER TRYING! The 'year' of trying was riddled with mentalist ishoos not ladygarden ones!

So there you go. Either I radiate barrenness from every fibre of my being, or I happen to be blessed with the swiftest most understanding and accommodating doctor/hospital of all time. Can we please hope for the latter?

Oh, and - he says the bleeding 'might be anything' but suspects the spotting last cycle might have been implantation bleed and an early miscarriage I don't really know how I feel about that other than worried, and worried that the spotting this cycle was implantation and I'm about to have another MC.

Right, signing off now from The Longest Post Of All Time. Meanwhile if anyone is frustrated by a slow and unhelpful GP email me and I'll tell you where to move to...

Pols am still here sending sticky thoughts.

Sorry I haven't posted for ages, I've not been around much.

Headbanger I can understand why you're feeling concerned but it's actually really good news your doc is being so supportive and trying to get you as much help as he can. I reckon you should go with it.

Lyra so sorry to hear your dad's been going through it again, but great news that he is improving.

Poopoo how are you feeling? Hope all is ok, please keep us updated.

Weewee how lovely to hear your good news.

Well, my lovely, look at it this way. If you have the tests and everything's clear, you'll have had them far sooner than many couples who have been trying for much longer, and you'll know that all's fine to proceed. And if the results come back and there are ishoos then you'll know and something will have been put into motion already. So it's a win, win (apart from the stirrups indignity that no one enjoys). So I echo Bessie.

This is possibly the most sensible thing I've ever said so take notice of it.

As for "woman in her thirties radiating infertility from every pore" or whatever you said, well, pish and tish. Don't talk nonsense. How old are you anyway? Bet you're younger than me.

Hello Bessie, smashing to see you!

Thanks B and Aries. I should feel really grateful - and I truly do. But I am also slightly ashamed of myself for fussing; I'd never have gone to the GP if it weren't for the spotting, because I know we've not been properly TTC for long enough to warrant all this attention. I feel a bit as though I've 'stolen' treatment from someone who needs it more but I guess the NHS don't really work like that innit!

Ariel I'm only just in my 30s I must admit. So, you know. All round I feel as if I should never have troubled the GP in the first place never mind whoever's gonna wield the dildocam. But mostly I am v grateful for a sympathetic Dr. God knows some of the BESHes could've done with this much attention early on...

Hi everyone,
I thought I'd just say hello since I am in my thirties and ttc #1. I've been through a rough start this year fertility wise and there have been quite a few times when I wished I was younger -- though I know - this is stupid thinking.

So short history: In Dec 2009 I went through tests that confirmed PCO and was not conclusive on anything else. Specialist recommended OD and laproscopy [Jan 2010] to treat ovaries and 'take a look' at tubes/uterus. Outcome of OD was tubes/uterus are all good and working. Since OD periods have been regular - am currently on cycle 4. First cycle was fab cause it confirmed I was back on track. Second cycle we did a Progesterone test on D21 [D20] and it was 0.3 - Doc said OD had failed and ovulation had not happened. Cycle 3 was with Clomid 50mg. Felt symptoms of O on CD 14/15..SWI on CD13,15. Felt preg symptoms - sore breasts, tiredness, stomach twinges etc... but on DAY 28 AF arrived. For someone who didn't have regular periods before -- I am still amazed by the astounding precision. What is sad is that I was so sure that if I could POAS [supposed to have today on CD 29] I would have been bfp. But now - am in company of AF and feeling saddened by all those symptoms that meant nothing. Even more so when Progesterone for cycle 3 turned up at 35.6 - - so confirmed ovulation.
Some symptoms still there - breasts tingling, stomach cramps -- but also with back pain [due to AF].

'Ead sound like good news to me too. Well, sending you for tests, rather than possible early MC . As you all know, I am a foreener (I know, I know, back on the boat...) and a lot of the tests that here you only get after a year would have been done before you even start trying back at home. Not to mention the gyno appointments every 6 months...

I am in exactly the same position as you, been 'not trying' for maybe even 1.5 years, but properly, I do not even know, 3 - 7 months, it was on and off and I cannot even remember when we hit the OPK or did not. But I am sticking to my story of 1.5 years at the GP's as, well, we are old (33 and 43) and tests cannot harm. But like I said, maybe that's because I come from a culture where all sorts of preventative tests are a norm.

I personally think I am lucky to have a proactive GP. He is also such a sweety, I swear I look forward to doc appointments. Sad, I hear you say? Although I have to say mine is taking a step by step approach rather than ALL at once. But maybe that's because I currently have no bleeds etc. Anyway, just my experience - not trying to impose how I feel on you...

Aries put it better.

Hey have only dropped in to smooch poo...have everything crossed for you luvver. Big big love,try n stay calm xxxx

Welcome womanly You have been through the mill . Now tell us all the other things we need to know about you please - see earlier in this thread for the BESH QUIZ. These women like to take all that is shit in the world and meet it head-on with black humour and comedy violence. And just a little bit of groping...

Will read other posts now.

medee defintely going to echo calls for you to see doc. 50 days not good (and never mind that MNer's flippancy on t'other thread)

Head 'tis good news that doc is getting things moving. Someone might as well make use of helpful GPs!

lyra hope your dad is getting better today. Positive vibes still coming your way.

gin sorry if ash is fucking up your plans. Hope you manage something else instead if it is.

I work with someone who was due to see her fella for the first time in 7 months after he flew home tomorrow. The earliest he can now get a new flight (booked at least) is in three weeks. Gutting. And my parents' holiday has been cancelled. What a mess

Oh head come ere to my ample bosom.

Firstly, well done for going to GP. Secondly I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm just a few paces ahead of you.

We'd been just not using contraception for 2 years, then only really actively trying for about 6 months. I beat you in the menkal states, I had no mid month bleeding, just thought my droid was a bit lighter & shorter than I remembered pre-pill (18 years ago), totally convinced myself it was the start of the menopause, so went to the GP. All I expected was a "No its not the menopause you yooful fertile thing", instead I left GP with an envelope with blood test things to give to nurse & GP writing a referral to FC!!! I was gobsmacked, as the boyf & I hadn't really discussed it. I felt like I'd been shoved onto a rollercoaster without warning. To be honest I think that's why I went through HSG & dildocam so painlessly, I was still in a state of shock.

Sorry, don't mean to hijack, just trying to say that you aren't alone in feeling gob-smacked. I think the nature of the BESH is not really acknowledging that we're trying to win a baybee, so when a GP (ie sensible grown up profession) starts talking about it without sniggering at the word sex it kind of hits you.

So take a deep breath, have a large gin (not that one, that's mine) & take a moment to take stock. I promise you, its all fine...

Oh aries luvver, that did help and console mightily, thanks awfully. It does cheer me up knowing that the Forn Parts would do those tests anyway if TTC. I have been feeling as if I actually snatched NHS resources from the hands of someone who needed it more

Womanly, you really have been through it haven't you, I'm so sorry. Puts my daft troubles into perspective. If you can face the mixed violence and groping in the palais then root about for the BESH quiz and we'll all line up to give you an affectionate kick!