30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

I've been on Microgynon before and it's fine. No crazy making and I used to take it without a break for months at a time.

I iz back. New name, new game.

muse how you doin', lady? Have been checking in on you, but far too mad to post.

So it turns out that we can't reproduce without some help. We will be starting ICSI in May/June. Woo.

ditto here on the micro'turnyounuts'gynon!

honeyyou'reonthemoney fabulous news. Wicked. Would get norks out but am suffering with unusually large nips

Another reason for my post is that there looks to be some excellent tv on later. C4 9pm!

Also meant to ask how today was Muser, are you going to be monitored for a while still?

Wasn't meant to be insensitive Polly. Sorry if was taken like that Muser

Today was about as fun as waiting an hour for someone to inject you in the bum can be.

I will be back next week for more blood tests and then they monitor me until I'm back to normal. Then there's the long waiting period. Then I win a baybee the first month trying and it sticks in the right place and everything.

I like Thomas Castaignede. I mean, I really like him

French rugby players - mmmm. But gorgeous Michelak is still not forgiven for what he and Bastardeux did to us a couple of weeks ago. I can think of plenty of ways to make him pay

And so it will be muser, so it will be.

Mmm. French. Rugby. Mmm.

Thanks all for the welcomes! Feeling right at home here, slumped at the bar - give me another gin and I may even try some tentative groping. You girls all look like Penelope Cruz, right?

Muser seems like you've been through some very tough stuff lately. Sorry to hear that. Seems like this TTC stuff is much harder than everyone pretends. [quiet dread]

Ocarina the right rugby team: well, that depends what you want them for...ho ho

Scorpette, why, I am a mere fresh-faced twenty one (give or take a decade or so, but who's counting?) and sure, I'm a twisted sistah - I'd have to go with Charlie Brooker level I reckon.

Anyway, the reason for my appearance today is I think I might be on the two week wait and need some fellow waiters...I sense this may unleash previously unheard of levels of craziness. Brace yourselves!

A fellow Thomas-lover - move over BITCH!!! He's mine I tells ya, mine!

Michalak, well yes - i take it you've seen the calendar

nice new name andromeda. Excuse my ignorance but can I ask was ISCI is? (or if you'd rather not talk about it, ignore). Either way, I'm sorry your news is not good. we've missed you. I've lined up a large gin for you at the other end of the palace - but you've got to walk over these here hot coals to get it.

camel!!!! humping hell!

or rather ICSI. sorry

camelthing! Good to see ya. I hope May/June stuff brings you the baybee.

Am dying to talk about it, CC. ICSI = IVF but with extra sperm selection & injection into egg. Will be spending the second half of the year in a haze of hormones.

Ta for the gin. Have had about half a bottle already, courtesy of Mr Humpy, who took me quite literally when I demanded a large booze. Feeling no pain for the moment.

NB: There might be a series of romance books based around the Six Nations. If anyone's interested: www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2009/jan/06/mills-boon-rugby

That sounds super technical and exciting Dromedary. Do you have to do daily shots n all that shizz?

True BESH style there, humpy. Keep it up. (can't believe they won't give you your name back)

I know it's not what you want really, but selectiveness and precision fusion of sperm and egg sounds like a good route to baybee win. and we'll all be here to take the brunt of it during the hormone haze. Maybe it'll be like being a drug-fuelled teenager?

Humpster! Welcome back!

Twinks I didn't think you meant anything untoward by your comment - I just thought it was a tad insensitive.

Speaking of insensitive, where is that Occers... need to dispense some comedy violience for her comments re: elder BESHies. I propose a new roole in da house... no-one gets diffed before the older members or the founder members of the gin palace. Who will second me? I am feeling reet tasty...

Is there an exception for youngsters with shit luck? Because I fink I deserve my baybee nearly as much even though I am a youthful 30. Howzabout I arrange for everyone to get diffed in the next 3 months? Then my turn.

Muser darling, you are already at the top of the list for June.

Humpalicious so good to see you back. Glad Mr Humpy has got the gin flowing. Shit news, but I am really glad they are acting now. Big smooches.

OhGreatThoughtfulOne Tell you what, we can both hang fire for the next three months at which point we will both be updiffed. Just nosily, why the pill? Is it a
standard Not to Updiff or is it to help with hormones etc?

And hey, I get to have a child like the Baby Jeebus meant, with none of that messy sex business. Eeew.

Everyone else, go forth and multiply in the meantime.

I have had evil drug for ectopic pregnancy camely and am banned from diffedness for 3 months.