30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

Bum. MN ate last post.

In summary. Headbanger Come and join me in the Corner of Hangover. There are huge, pillowy cushions, more crap tv than you can shake a stick at, bacon & avocado sangwiches and chips & fuck-off large bloody marys. Better?

MrsG That's all horrible. But what scorps said about moonwank.

shinycunt I've said it elsewhere, but I really, really, really hope that this is babywin time for you...

As per wildfig when the Palace was barren of members and baybees there were a few of us here, I don't think it's "on" to begrudge people a baybee due to age or length of waiting - but perhaps it could be made clear to newbies that it's not the place for "first month TTC-ers with a happy and hopeful disposition".

I really hate this "I deserve a baybee more than you" - it's not very becoming for wimmins of our advanced age is it? If anyone "deserves" that baybee then hawaiian and chocho need to be brought to the front of the list toot sweet!

As for menkulness - did anyone see the lady doctor last week who did herself in getting a BFN?

I can haz too late for Yasmin? I can haz thin with perfect skin?

'cuse me OfficerSki, I'd like to state for the record (is this thing on?) that I was just being cheeky... I don't begrudge anyone their baybees in their tumtum, but I do reserve my right to be mental, all on my own, if it's a personally terrible time for me. BESHlets that have been through the grinder and ended up in the Pit of Despair, know of what I speak.

(off the record) I'd like one of those rugby players bring me a drink, please.

And fanks for even considering me on the first page... [spike to the heart emoticon]

[ignoring the thought of offing yourself over a BFN]

camelface I'm ACTUALLY dying. Dying. I have the shakes. I've got v important meeting today as well. Oh God. I'm never touching a drop again. The OM is horrified and says if I'm diffed the poor mite will be born a drug addict. For the record, I did NO coke OR weed last night, so that's NOT FAIR.

Cunty5-0 and Ski and everyone really - fing is this is where the menkul comes out SOMEHOW no? So bound to be irksome sometimes. Is both the beauty and the danger of the fred .

ski - Hell the what? Dr offed herself over diffment? Please to append link?

Yes, this is the beginning of menkulness. At your meeting today I suggest bluffing, big time! And doesn't your gent know an ALCHIE from a DRUG ADDICKT?

My mekulness of the moment: Wanting to email Cosmosis to give a little extra chance for a WIN! where's that spoon??? ffs - I am doomed!

Hawaii I fink that's nice menkul. My menkulness chiefly relates to the fact that if I am diffed (this being first day or so of 2WOOFL) then Lord knows what damage I've done with my wicked binging ways.

Plus I am thinking IS THIS A HANGOVER OR MORNING SICKNESS idiotidiotidiot.

If this hangover kills me I want you to soak my corpse in gin and build me a funeral pyre of David Mitchell Guardian columns. Thanks.

Er, was that a dig, ski? I don't think anyone's seriously suggesting there's a priority list for baybees - it was more of a Four Yorkshiremen jostling about who's been grumbling along here the longest...

Good morning. I have just spent a whole hour catching up on what I've missed over the last week and a half.

Muser and MrsGazebo so sorry to hear the sad news. I hope you are both being looked after at home.

MrsG my friend got told to wait 3 months before TTC after a molar updiff, is it really a year?

For those in the Palace who have had a number of miscarriages:

this might be worth filing away

Really sorry to hear that MrsG, what a shit piece of news. Plenty of room in my corner, plus a choice of bands and singers providing hold music. It's Bouncey right now, I like to watch her shimmy.

Also, for the record, I too was joking about deservingness of baybees. I like my humour dark at the moment.

Headacher it is a recognised Palace fact that alcohol in no way affects foeti before 6 weeks because there is absolutely no connection between you and it - it is just a floating ball of cells. So quit your mithering and take some nurofen.

Fanks cunty

no way I'm lucky enough to win a baybee this month anyhow so tis all purely academic...

NOw I have to try and struggle into work. I couldn't face trying to get into and out of a shower and consequently reek of Blossom Hill merlot and Marlboro Lights. CLASS.

Lady doctor was reported as having topped self after BFN: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1250172/Doctor-wanted-child-hanged-IVF-failed.html

Warning - this is Daily Mail reporting and there was probably a LOT more to it.

I personally find it unbecoming at any age to try and high-handedly tell others what they should do, say, think or feel, but there you go.

I presume everyone else got that insisting the elder BESHes get their wins first was just a bitter joke. Sigh...

honestly - I only came in to see if there was any BUMSEX and only my lovely poohead obliged appropriate non?

Am considering name change - cassie haz inspired me

anyway - am also here to squeeze mrsG and muse and to wave pom poms of encouragement for HCS and her freezer beezers

figgy Not a dig - just a little saddened by things said.

drom Yep, "one" BFN doesn't instantly cause suicide. I'm a firm believer in that anyone who is suicidal has been down a long road and that there might be a trigger such as this - but it's likely that she'd been quite ill for some time...

Happy to oblige Igster

MrsG I must admit to not knowing anything about molar updiff but it sounds fucking awful, I'm so sorry.

MrsG that's just awful. Hope you can get the real life support and information you need when you need it, as well as palace gin.

MrsG I missed your post - I'm so terribly sorry and there's nothing selfish about it. I've put some velvet cushions in the pit for you. I'm ignorant on this molar thing and off to Google. Am finking of you

Oh hell, I have just googled molar pregnancy. Fuck, MrsG, you have my sympathy and a big hug. And a very large jug of the cocktail of your choice.

sorry mrsGaz. I'm not going to claim to know what it all means, but I do wish you all good things where possible and, again, am impressed with the moonwank.

Not sure how I've inspired iggy, so swiftly moving on. (have you noticed that we appear to have another two BESHes in same profession who are likely to meet at big event with food and wine? Good omen I think - go for it figs and humpy!)

On a serious note, please to NOT take any ibuprofen products during SWI/2WOOFL. Is fine when bastard arrives and before the fun recommences. Stays in system for 24 hours, but it not a friend to baybee-making.

Hi all - wow this is a quick-moving thread. Clearly, I will have to reshuffle work down the list of priorities so that I can keep up!

Ms G I'm so sorry to hear about the molar pregnancy. I also had a close friend who went through this and the wait to try again was three months, but every case is different I guess. Wishing you lots of strength.

I have also had adventures in whiskey drinking - oh many moons agao. Culminated with me spraying my hand silver with Christmas tree paint. Never again. Good luck with THAT hangover.

I know this is no place for chirpy newbies - so I'll keep the chirpiness to a minimum. But fingers crossed for Hawaian and Ead and all others!

In meantime, bloody marys for all, lined up on the bar.

mrsG have just googled molar pregnancy too - you poor things. Vent away, you have total sympathy.

cas I haz kwestion re: ibruprofen - what it do to baybee? I asks cos the first time i was diffed I did take ibuprofen for terrible agonising pain in right ovary region that kept me up. - Thought I has appendicitis cos also felt sick (had got BFN on piss stick by then) obv turned out that was diffed after all... and we all know how that ended - I haz always blamed the ibuprofen...

Oh yeah - cas I wanted to be miss piggy - but is taken

By the way witty welcome - what are your views on BUMSEX?