30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

Everything crossed for your dad's speedy recovery lyrical scrope @ low level. Put it this way, if your anxiety was converted into voltage I wouldn't want to be within 100 yards...

Just checking in after work - I need me buzzwamcam/gusset watch update... where are ya Scorpelina?

Glad you got a big drop Muse, how are things at work?

Well the ewcm seems to have dried up so I can now 2woofl like a menkul. The fact we only swi once has no bearing on the level of 2woofling.

Excellent 2woofl news, Pol. But what has SWI got to do with 2woofl anyway? Have I missed something?

Gusset Watch: normal.

BuzwamCam: 5%.

Is DPO10 today and am absolutely bricking it. I did once get to DPO10 and was crazy-excited... only to start spotting at @10pm same night

Please, lovely BESHes, send me luck to make me pg and have a normal luteal phase. Please, Goddess Lyra, make it so (And hope your Dad is feeling and getting better)

Once more in the breach, dear friends, once more!

scrope I am delurking to wish you massive pregnancy. xx

Luck duly winging its way to you scrope. Keep your feet up and a ready supply of water and other wholesome fayre. Or hang upside down - bleurgh can't travel uphill

Not that I'm suggesting that you'll have bleurgh, just that it may stay in if it was inclined to come out

Dear scuttling, stinging creature, I bestow my benificence upon you. Innit.

You must be seriously talented at hide and seek figgy, that's one hell of a lurk.

I'm quietly excited about 10DPO for you Scorps, fingers crossed.

^ also impressed by frig's lurking skills. That is quite a camo outfit...

I am trying to keep my excitement under wraps Scorps but failing miserably.

'Dear Goddess Lyra, may your dad be happy and healthy again soon. Please please please can Scorpy win her baybee this month. And maybe me too, if you could possibly manage it. Thank you very muchly'

Message withdrawn

Lyra thinking of you buddy.

scorcher wot fig said. I ain't here,you ain't seen me,but I too am praying to JahLyrah that you get a baybee this month.

(I'm also gonna ask her if in her benificence she can sort my bad back as it is fucking painful,and I might add a few other requests on too,but seriously the bulk of the praying will be regarding the ScorpChild)

[lives near the SAS, picks up a few hint'sn'tips, know what I mean. Fades into background next to the pork scratchings]

scorp I think you're diffed,

Apols for lurks, but there's been no SWI in this house and so no WOOFLing, unless you count some unhealthy tv crushes; is just me and the dawgs, and the gentle tick-tick-tick of my disappointed womb. While I'm here: socksandsandals*, are you following a desert theme?

• TM nice jamaican nurse who informed me that's what they call women with fibroids.

Yay GIN!!!! Don't leave us again

Crap detective work Lucy... the buzzwamcam saga only started about a page ago so not very secret... in fact I believe it's open to anyone with a valid credit card...

And lyra thinking of you too - nothing more scary than ill parents. Hope all's resolved asap.

Liking the ethereal presence of lurkers though; the Palace has its own Most Haunted selection of regulars who materialise now and again to shout raucous encouragement through the medium of Derek Acorah.

Ow,mind my BACK poop!!!!

right,random violence and tequila time

I heart you raddled old slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags! Off to work now - but how to fit in normal duties between gusset checks?

Laterzzzzzzzz

Roundhouse kicks and nipple twists to the rest of you. Ooh I'm exhausted now - flaming sambucas with the tequila anyone? I'll even get you a fresh glass if you like.

Of course we miss you Gin and Figgy, come here and nestle in my bazooms, there there.

Crossed everything for Scorps. Crossed crossed crossed..
Could you not do as has been suggested and hand upside down for a few days like a bat?

Wildfig, am on same as you. No Woman's Land between end of droid and start of SWI. NWL.

still praying to the god lyra for scropy.

ginlet excellent to see you

and so lucy doesn't feel excluded - this is a fred (thread) for BESH's (Barren Evil Selfish Hags) who have spent the fertile years partying and now, in their 30's have decided that maybe it might be nice to win a baybee.

The Fred shuns cheesy/ rubbish acronyms and chooses it's own - so 2WOOFL is 2 weeks of obsessive fucking lunacy - rather than a '2WW' - others include SWI (Shagging with Intention) and Droid (which comes from R2D2 - which in turn comes from RTOD which meant RED TIDE OF DOOM) - that is a definition wot haz evolved...

Anyway - the fred welcomes gin drinking, random violence and BUMSEX

Vive le BESH evolution!

I am off to hunt down a beast I can slay and lay at the feet of the almighty lyra for the sake of scropelicious and poohead*

Feel all warm and fuzzy thanks to the solidarity provided be delurkers Gin and Fig. Sure a bit of mud wrestling and bumsex will remedy that. But nice to hear from you both.

*no animals will actually be harmed

Yay Gin & Figgy!

Where's my sambucca? I want to stick the glass to myself and leave scarring like last time.

We could pretend to "slay" some of our captors gentlement callers and lay them naked in front of the Goddess Lyra as an offering - reckon that would work

of course, we'd have to lie with them. Just to show our dedication and all that

0oooohh yes VAG, I reckon that would appease my wrath nicely

Fabks all those wot are finkin of me and me Dad. He's still struggling post-op, to be honest. We were hoping he would be discharged today but it's looking like Monday might be more realistic

lyra sorry to hear your dad is struggling post-op - hoping he feels much better over the weekend to be out for mon. xx

Also meant to tell gin that I bougth one of her cards too - for my sis