TTC #1 over 35

[Clara202]

As the title suggests, if you’re over 35 and TTC your first, I’d love to hear from you! Would be nice to hear from a few of us in the same boat 🙂

He is taking Proceive max men, coQ10 and omegas. I will look into Impryl as I’ve seen it mentioned a lot. I suspect low progesterone because I often have heavy brown ‘bleeding’ about 5 days before my actual period starts, and my moods are all over the place

@Clara202 Yeah impyrl is amazing, I would defo give that a go. But it can’t be taken with anything else. I wouldn’t be so sure about the progesterone being low just because of that, I get brown gunk for at least 2 days before my period & I used to spot 4 days before my period was due and I’ve had my progesterone tested three times over 2.5 years and every time it’s been well over 30 & ovulation confirmed. Have you had bloods done to check everything inc progesterone? I would say at 10 months despite 1% morphology (as apparently that’s less of a problem in men) that if your bloods are all ok, I really wouldn’t stress too much yet, it takes between 1-2 years for most 35 plus year olds to conceive as our egg quality is now 40-50% abnormal. We just have to wait for the right one to come up. And in your case, it might take that little longer due to the morphology. Honestly my moods are chaotic second half of my cycle and my progesterone is perfectly fine showing strong ovulation. Keep the faith 🩷

Hello! Been lurking a loottttt since MMC because I feel very disengaged, scheduled and tried last month (DTD every other day for 10 days), I thought I had a chem (but worried it was just an evap), then an intense AF which has just finished

i know it’s only May but I’m 38 in November and starting to freak TF out a bit and at 3am I decided I want to freeze my eggs if I do get pregnant so we can have another

had all the baseline tests privately so it is completely irrational I hope

either way I am determined to be pregnant by end of year so have drs appt for a referral tomorrow (had referral before but appt was day of D&C) I’m very open to manual intervention to just make it happen asap

i am very busy and don’t dwell much but find myself looking at 35/36 and wondering why on earth we didn’t start trying then 🤪🤪

excited for you @Clara202 🥰

How is everyone? Any updates?

Hey it’s been ages since I’ve written here, the ectopic/pul took ages to resolve and I finally had a negative blood test about two weeks ago. Managed to keep my tube which is maybe good (unless it’s blocked). Waiting for AF and then starting a 3 x b2b ivf round. Honestly my gut is telling me I don’t want to go through it again, and I’m dreading 3 months in a row of ivf and meds and what 5 (in total considering nhs) rounds of ivf will do to my risks of cancer etc.

have loved reading through the last few pages of messages, esp the glasses of prosecco and all inclusive holiday! I’m at a point that I feel like running away but am trapped by circumstance (mainly that I’m 40 at the end of the year). I wish I could have an all inclusive blow out!

congrats to the positive test earlier in the thread, hope it’s continued getting stronger ♥️

@Clara202 my dp started on impryl some months ago and recently one ubiquinol pill (200mcg) but the nurse at our clinic (who’s also a nutritionist) said not to take impryl and ubiquinol at the same time as too much antioxidant can be harmful. @Thisisouryear2025 mentioned it above but I thought I’d make sure you got that note… she also said that the only widely accepted tests on ubiquinol for us were on max 300 a day. I’ve been taking 600 like you, but am lowering, tho I’m unsure about whether I should or not. Just wanted to share that with you tho they’re not my opinions! Just parroting.

hope you’re well! Glad (sad but glad) to see you got your public funding approval. I think I’d feel a lot better about going through it again if it was nhs, there’s just something I inherently distrust about private medical set ups. I’m nervous about them “putting me under”!

@Nosejug great to hear from you! Sounds like it’s been a tough time of late but you’re coming out of it. I too would love to just forget about this for a while but I don’t have that luxury with my age. I didn’t realise there was a cancer risk with ivf? There’s a lot I don’t know about it as I’ve not researched it at all, hoping against hope that it was going to happen before I needed it. That said, I’ve realised now that I will go through it regardless as I have decided I will freeze my eggs due to my age. I have public funding but they will refer me to one of the 8 private clinics in Ireland regardless, that’s how it works here. So it’ll be a free round, but in a private clinic.
Do you mean that I shouldn’t bother taking any more than 300mg coq10 or my husband shouldn’t? I’m currently on 600mg and he is taking 400mg.

I think it’s on the impryl website not to take ubiquinol along side it at all. It was the dietician/ivf nurse that told us. with regards to us taking it, it was more vague, she asked how much I was taking and then said that the studies had only been done up to 300 and that she wouldn’t advise taking more as the evidence wasn’t there. My pills are 200 (I think we bought the same ones in feb or March) and I started just taking one since that chat (a few days ago) though I might take 2 at 400 total, but come down from 600. I mean general research shows it’s well tolerated but idk, I’d hate to be hurting my chances.

The cancer thing (sorry I maybe shouldn’t have thrown that in there) is just, being women we are at risk of hormonal type cancers, and I worry that repeat ivfs put me at more at risk given the maximum doses I’ve been taking of hormones. I think there’s mixed research on whether it actually does significantly increase your risk, but I’m just personally worried that after 5 rounds whatever minimal risk there might be will be multiplied by 5. But it’s not like a side effect or known or widely recognised risk and I probably should not have said it as it could be considered scare mongering (I was just sort of spilling every worry on my mind).

Great to hear updates from you all, even though they aren't always positive. Thinking of you all on your journeys. Nothing changing here really.

@HollyGolightly4 we definitely need a positive update from someone here soon!

@Clara202 I went to the UK GP last week and had no idea that they freeze your embryos and keep them during/after IVF. I’m 38 in November so this is super appealing for the future. I mentioned I was planning to do this and she told me, it was a really amazing appointment actually.

I’ve already had 1 of 2 of my bloods and my ultrasound is booked on Monday, it’s been efficient. Where I live now is all through private clinics on the NHS so I’m hoping it will move quickly in the next few months.

Will keep trying but this is the week and husband is away for work - unavoidable but also just makes me want to have dates to commit to!

@Nosejug don’t put pressure on yourself about this and small health risks— everything causes! 💖Bacon sandwich / wine / beer / bread and with the prevalence of egg freezing now it can’t be a significant risk (I’d not heard of it!) lots of people get through successfully xx

@Toppstileslover yes I was sad at the thoughts of IVF but now I’m looking at it as a free opportunity to freeze my eggs for the future. Who knows how it will all end up but I’m trying to look at things more positively. I haven’t heard from my clinic yet but I assume it’ll happen soon.

It's been ages since I've written on here but wondering how folks are getting on? My second cycle was cancelled due to low response (but Im low amh so I dunno, I guess they have higher hopes for me than 2 eggs! First round got 5 which was a record for me, but no progression after 2 good looking emybryos on day 3). I finally just ovulated I think, though also have sore boobs/progesterone symptoms so I'm thinking one of the follicles is producing progesterone and one released an egg? Casting runes over here. Are you in the IVF queue @Clara202 and @Toppstileslover ?

@Nosejug I started my first cycle but it was cancelled due to low response. It was surprising considering my AMH. Waiting on a bleed to start a new protocol but it’s been almost 4 weeks and nothing yet.

Oh my, sorry to hear that but also, how bizarre we’re in the exact same situation. Did you track lh while waiting? Mine was v low then all over the place. Will be going again when period comes. Will they alter your meds? What are you on? I’ve had long and short protocol and differing meds, but short protocol atm. Great that your treatment started so promptly, we had an extremely gruelling wait in our area.

@Nosejug sent you a pm

I’m sorry girls it’s slightly paralysing and never ending isn’t it.

After my initial GP appointment things moved quickly for me in blood tests and an ultrasound but this time they wanted my husbands semen analysis before they did the referral. It took him 3 weeks to get the appointment then it was going to be end of September. So he’s booked that for a private one next week but we’ve lost 3 weeks and I haven’t even got the referral yet.

I wish I’d gone ahead with my appointment in March even though we’d relocated and I’d literally just had a D&C miscarriage that week.

Im 38 in November and to say I am freaking out is an understatement. I think it’s heightened by relocating out of London but the biological clock has kicked in and goodness me it’s loud.

I do get fertility treatment in my BUPA through work but I kinda wanted to wait incase we needed this for a second baby but I’m wondering whether to kick that off now

im on folate and iron tablets

That said we haven’t been trying at all, we had a chat about it last night and will try this month from the end day of my period (I think I ovulate early)!

the mental load is a lot, I never used to think about it and transparently having a baby is all I think about now and I can’t believe I have to wait 9 months even when I do get pregnant 😂

I also wish my pregnancy had just stuck and really don’t think I appreciated just being pregnant enough!

Your message resonates @Toppstileslover Having an actually baby has now become so abstract to me it’s been so long. I’m waiting out a cancelled ivf cycle, I did seem to ovulate but I had sore boobs and cramps before ovulation and still, which is bizarre but hey, hormones! My chances are so especially slim but I feel like if I tantrum hard enough it’ll happen? I am so fed up! I want my life back. 🍷 ✈️ 🎨 and for someone to give me an extra 5 years of pre 40 fertility.

Oh god. Hugs to you all in the trenches with me. It's awful. Been separated from my husband due to a travel mishap and of course it's fertile week 🙃 will have missed four days, so that's probably this month out.

This thread has been pretty eye opening for me and I hope it will help people who might find it in future. I’m beginning to wonder if this is actually the norm. Despite all of the ‘my mum had me at 43’ stories that I’d read, it is in reality as difficult as the experts say it is, ttc your first child over 35 just isn’t easy. I wish I’d seen these more realistic posts earlier to be honest, I don’t think I’d have been so naive.

Same @Clara202 bitterly regret it.

@HollyGolightly4 8 months since I started this thread, with approx 25 posters and I believe there’s only 1 or 2 expecting babies. Maybe there are more who haven’t mentioned but it’s a stark reality check that only 10% of us were successful. I hope anyone who is 34,35 and wondering whether to start or not takes this as their sign.

I’m in a different boat where I started to actively want a baby in my early 30s but didn’t have a partner and had to treat dating like homework, literally, I was like, I want a child, I need to find the right father and partner. I can’t really regret anything as I pushed myself hard to date despite liking being on my own, and dumped (or was dumped by) men who were not in interested in being dads/committing. I started feeling the pressure then. I’m so grateful for who I found, but we met at 34 and dated for two years before trying for a baby, which we both agree (even in hindsight) would have been wrong to rush. So now I have a great partner but no baby… I do get regrets that I didn’t accidentally get pregnant but god… if I’d had to have a baby with some of those men, my life would have been a very different kettle of fish. And I do think I’ll become a parent if I truly want to, but I may never get to meet the children I imagined. I mean, the family I imagined after three years of hell is already irrecoverable. I strongly desire to be pregnant but I am going to be constantly afraid if I manage again.

I know what you mean Nosejug, I wish I could have started trying for a family earlier but I didn’t meet my partner until I was 33. And much like yourself it wasn’t for lack of trying! As hard and disappointing as this part of the journey is I can’t really beat myself up for starting now when I did my best and life just didn’t line up that way. There was also no way in hell I could have afforded to freeze my eggs in my early 30’s either which I guess would have been the other option.

I met my husband late in my 30s also, but I am so happy with him and I’d rather have met him late than not at all, even if it means no children. It does feel rather unfair all the same.

I’m glad I’m not alone with that. My sister had her babies in her 20s (and with her high school bf). She was asking whether I’d recommend to her daughters to have children earlier and I was like, yeah ofc after what I’ve gone through, but i realised too late the implication was I’d chosen to wait. She has no comprehension of what dating is like. It’s terrible out there! Life isn’t always a set of clear choices. And I don’t envy someone having their children mid 20s, as I feel like I got to live multiple versions of myself, to test out ideas and my own boundaries.

Would any of you guys ever consider donor eggs? It’s been suggested to me right from the beginning I guess bc I was 36 with DOR. I find it hard to give up on myself becuase it does seem that some of my eggs are good. Our last round had two excellent quality day 3 embryos that then arrested, and post day three the male factor is introduced. I’d really like to try donor sperm before I’m forced to give up on myself entirely.