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TTC #1 over 35

611 replies

Clara202 · 16/12/2024 18:43

As the title suggests, if you’re over 35 and TTC your first, I’d love to hear from you! Would be nice to hear from a few of us in the same boat 🙂

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19
KittyFantastica · 12/01/2026 16:49

Nosejug · 12/01/2026 16:20

Ah crap, baby is fine but my cervix is less than half of their minimum cut off for intervention. I’m 11mm which is insanely short. Getting a stitch in tomorrow if she can get enough cervix to perform it. Just please get me to 31 weeks.

Sorry to see you’ve had a shortening. Please don’t take my case as usual, it was so, so rare. My cervix shortened because I have a hyper toned/irritable uterus. So from 16 weeks, I start to get tightenings that grew gradually to 60+ a day, and the mechanics of the tightenings slowly began to shorten my cervix. I had my stitch put in at 18+6 and it really was okay. I have bowel issues with IBS as that was honestly the worst part of it. I was sad not to be able to be as mobile (no bending, lifting, crouching, squatting, kneeling; no exercise etc) and was very upset I couldn’t have a bath or go swimming as I really felt being in water would have calmed my uterus.

My son’s arrival was traumatic because of the section - no one believed how fast labour could happen for me but my uterus was primed after all those contractions. He’d have been out in 3 hours if they’d listened to me and taken out the stitch, but I dilated through it and it embedded. So that’s the SUPER rare bit. Most people don’t progress that fast and if your hospital can do the stitch then they are likely way more experienced in taking it out too, unlike mine.

Either way, after everything I have fought through, my little boy is so very worth it. I’d do it again for him. The stitch is an incredible opportunity, and saves so many baby’s lives. I had 19mm left before the surgery and came out of it with 27mm! Mine was an emergency stitch and they told me it would likely get me another 6 weeks and it was still holding strong through labour 13 weeks later! If only my waters hadn’t gone, I’d have made it to term.

Feel free to ask any questions if it will
help.

emanresu24 · 18/01/2026 21:48

Congrats on all the good news.

I posted at the start of the thread and was doing PGT on my embryos. I'm 39 now and still not pregnant. I've been begging for help with endo and adeno since I was 29, diagnosed at 20. A whole decade and no baby, no help. I've been waiting since last May for a hysteroscopy and laparoscopy. After spending so much on IVF I can't afford them privately. I hope the appointments come soon as it's awful with the months just passing by.

I did a thrombophilia screen privately (another £550 🙄) and it came back positive for a blood clotting disorder. I need to wait till March for the retest and hope the NHS will accept the result and prescribe the blood thinners I need to take from embryo transfer till 6 weeks post birth (if I ever get pregnant). Ridiculous that the GP won't test, but then they don't accept private results either sometimes. Even with meds there's only an 80% chance a pregnancy could survive.

I can get my head around waiting till April, but the unknown wait for the hysteroscopy and lap is so difficult.

MatchaMuse · 19/01/2026 16:17

Hey, for those of you who got referred to Gyno, what happened at your first appointment? I was hoping it would be a few more tests and things but now it's sounding like another consultation and more waiting 😅

HollyGolightly4 · 19/01/2026 18:11

Thinking of you @emanresu24 💐 the process just sounds gruelling.

HollyGolightly4 · 19/01/2026 18:15

@MatchaMuse At my first appointment I had bloods taken, I had to do a Chlamydia test, I was weighed and I had a scan of my ovaries (transvaginal).

My husband had already had his sperm checked.

That was followed by a consultation, after 6 weeks, with a specialist.

MatchaMuse · 19/01/2026 18:25

@HollyGolightly4 thank you. Actually this is an appointment after having the initial tests done (I was referred to Gyno afterwards) so I was wondering if they’d be doing the same tests or something different

HollyGolightly4 · 19/01/2026 18:29

Who did the first tests? If it was private they won't accept them!

Oh I forgot, I did have everything bar the scan done at the GP, to get the ball rolling. Then there was a stupid wait for the referral (hence why I went private for a bit of reassurance)

KittyFantastica · 19/01/2026 21:54

emanresu24 · 18/01/2026 21:48

Congrats on all the good news.

I posted at the start of the thread and was doing PGT on my embryos. I'm 39 now and still not pregnant. I've been begging for help with endo and adeno since I was 29, diagnosed at 20. A whole decade and no baby, no help. I've been waiting since last May for a hysteroscopy and laparoscopy. After spending so much on IVF I can't afford them privately. I hope the appointments come soon as it's awful with the months just passing by.

I did a thrombophilia screen privately (another £550 🙄) and it came back positive for a blood clotting disorder. I need to wait till March for the retest and hope the NHS will accept the result and prescribe the blood thinners I need to take from embryo transfer till 6 weeks post birth (if I ever get pregnant). Ridiculous that the GP won't test, but then they don't accept private results either sometimes. Even with meds there's only an 80% chance a pregnancy could survive.

I can get my head around waiting till April, but the unknown wait for the hysteroscopy and lap is so difficult.

It may or may not help, but you could try contacting Dr Siobhan Quemby at Coventry. Her usual clinic is an early miscarriage clinic, however, I know she’s a specialist in autoimmune and clotting conditions in pregnancy. It’s what a lot of her research interest covers. She may agree to talk to you - she works with Tommy’s and receives funding so may be able to work outside the box with you. Best of luck x

MatchaMuse · 20/01/2026 05:54

@HollyGolightly4 our experiences sound very similar! It was the GP who did all the tests back in September, but they sent me to a bigger hospital for my first transvaginal scan. They found some fibroids so I got referred to my closest Gyno department but that was 4 months ago and I still have 4 to go! I did try going private but based off the report she said she didn’t think my fibroids would be affecting me 🫠🫠 Feeling a bit stuck in limbo sadly

What did they refer you for?

HollyGolightly4 · 20/01/2026 06:32

@MatchaMuse unexplained infertility - i miscarried at 12 weeks in December 22 and then nothing since- no positives, just negatives all the way! So a very tough journey. After the consultation appointment we were referred for IVF - so March. September we were due to start IVF and fell pregnant 💗

MatchaMuse · 20/01/2026 08:32

@HollyGolightly4 Aw bless you, I'm pretty much in the same boat. Lost a baby at 12 weeks and haven't had any positives in the last 7 months of trying. I wonder if we'll end up getting referred too. It's amazing how bodies can work though, so happy that you ended up getting that positive in the end.

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