TTC #1 over 35

[Clara202]

As the title suggests, if you’re over 35 and TTC your first, I’d love to hear from you! Would be nice to hear from a few of us in the same boat 🙂

@HollyGolightly4 5-7 days each time. Wishing you lots of luck.
@Nosejug thank you. BFN today. tests all fine (for 40+yr olds) for hormones/ /uss etc but not had any extra tests for the chemicals/v early miscarriages- think they put them down to age.

Feeling a bit dejected today. 5DPO but I’ve started to get that achey sore crampy feeling that seems to signify that AF is coming. I have a shorter luteal phase (10) so I get them quite early on. It really sucks to know you’re out so early.

Third cycle and am already wondering how I'm going to be able to keep perking myself up to keep trying again month after month. Really wish it wasn’t this hard for me, I want to be a mother so much.

I've been lurking on the threads for a few months now but haven't commented yet. How is everyone getting on?
I've just turned 39 and ttc #1, starting on cycle 5. Me and DH went for fertility tests to see where we're at. All is good on his side but my AMH is 1 and AFC is around 7-8 both of which are lower than they'd want. I am gutted. I knew my chances would be low but this seems worse than I'd imagined. I'm not really sure what I want to get from this comment, but hoping there's others that understand and maybe some advice.

@Jellybeancloud my AMH was 19 at 38 and still no baby after over a year of trying. So even if yours was better it wouldn’t automatically guarantee things would be easier. Are they sending you for treatment? I have seen people on here with results much worse than yours be successful, I would be hopeful.

@Jellybeancloud afc of 7-8 isn’t that bad? I’m assuming you meant 7-8 in total, but the phrasing might mean you were saying 7-8 on each ovary? If that’s the case then it’s pretty darn good.

what measurement is your amh number? ng/mL or pmol/l? Mine is higher than yours (around 3.5) but I only have a few follicles.

Unless you end up down the ivf road amh is meaningless. I’m literally in a gown on hospital bed waiting for my 5th egg retrieval.

@Clara202 thanks and sorry to hear you're still waiting. I can't get NHS treatment because of the low AMH I'll not be eligible but TFP that we went to would do it. We're only on cycle 5 so they said to give it a few months and then we can look at IVF potentially.
@Nosejug the 7-8 is total which she said it was okish, but the AMH they would have wanted it to be higher. I'm not sure about the measurements, she said she would send us all the test results/details but it was a late afternoon appointment yesterday so I don't have them yet. Hope all goes well and this is your time

Well to give you a bit of hope @Jellybeancloud i have less than 8 afc normally, but my private clinic managed to get 5 eggs on my first round, and 4 on the second. Whereas the nhs blanket protocol only got three eggs and one egg on two rounds respectively, and my amh was slighter higher then. The nhs cut offs are just becuase they have to draw a line somewhere, and not because you have no chance with ivf.

we’re unfortunate that our egg and sperm combo doesn’t seem to make blasts, we get perfect day 3s but they arrest before day 5. This recent cycle was a “natural modified” cycle which is good for low amh as your body self selects the best candidate, but then you get only 1 or 2 eggs. Hopefully it’ll give us different results.

But yeah, 3 cycles trying is so few, hopefully your luck will be a lot better than mine!

Hello team, I am very much a lurker here I mainly dip in and out because if I read too many bad things I spiral.

I am 38 next month and it will be one year of trying only due to a massive relocation we actually only tried (as in did the smiley face test) twice and miraculously have fallen pregnant twice. Especially this time which really was a one hit wonder.

Alas despite having a strong heartbeat two weeks ago it was not meant to be and I found I had another MMC yesterday 😞

Strangely despite being absolutely devastated yesterday I feel quite positive. I had already begun a fertility referral and had my bloods done, I was prescribed iron and folate. I’ve had the ultrasound and all fine. Also I’ve fallen pregnant twice.

So I will have this dealt with, pray hope and try again for a third lucky time and by god will I be seen by the recurrent miscarriage team and medical intervention from the day I find out if I am blessed to have a next time. That’s not to say I don’t have issues with my egg quality.

This is a difficult road and path, I really feel for everyone here, we wait to ensure a good quality of life and it is challenging.

sending hugs, love and so much luck we will all get our happy ending despite the many challenges ahead (crying again now!) 🩷🩷🩷🩷

@Toppstileslover I’m so sorry to hear about your mmc. There are so many hurdles on this journey. You’re right to be optimistic, you will hopefully get so much care on your next pregnancy (which absolutely will happen), it’s unfortunate what women have to go through first to get this care, but you will get there 🩷

Oh @Toppstileslover I'm so sorry to hear this 💐 how far along were you? Sending you lots of love and strength because it sounds like you're being incredibly strong.

6w5d first time but had no heartbeat, 7w5d this time measuring bang on with a heartbeat. Maybe I’ll make it to 8w5d next time 🥲!

im mainly worried about the anxiety now, I was so anxious this time around and its going to be even worse 😖😖

@Toppstileslover I'm sorry 💔 I don't know if it will help, but myleene class talking about foetal microchimerism and how cells from miscarriages act as a biological imprint was comforting to me, although it might not be to you. Just be nice to yourself💐

@Toppstileslover I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

Thanks @Nosejug I appreciate that. I got my lab report this morning and my amh is 1 pmol/l. So it's very low. 3 follicles one side and 4 the other, so lower side of normal.

We will keep bding and taking the supplements etc but I am going to try my hardest not to obsess as it's maybe just a bit too late, but who knows.

The consultant did say anything other than folic acid and vitamin D would be a waste of money and time, but take a fertility supplement if I want. I'm taking just about everything so not sure whether to keep on or to heed her advice.

Folic acid and vitamin d are indeed essential when ttc. Most fertility supplements are pretty bogus but the one that is proven to help is coenzyme q10 with ubiquinol. You and your partner (assuming they’re providing the sperm) should take 600mg per day of this for three months prior to ttc (whether naturally or through ivf). It improves egg and sperm quality.

I only have anecdotal evidence but my husband and I took this supplement for three months prior to ivf and we got three embryos out of just six eggs. There are some clinically proven studies out there too.

https://amzn.eu/d/8ZZ4nrr A three month supply for two (180 tablets) is about £45.

Hello ladies, just checking in to see how everyone’s doing? <3

Hey @Sleepypixxie :)

I have some good news in that I’m 16 weeks tomorrow. Took 5 rounds (7 if you count those cancelled at collection) of ivf. Weird that the best blast came from the oldest version of my body. Just to say, there is hope!

I have difficulties to cross (quite a damaged cervix and risk of preterm labour) so am not on cloud 9 with no worries, but am definitely on cloud 3 or 4 and feeling hopeful and incredibly grateful.

i hope things are going well for you and others here.

Congratulations, so happy for you!

I actually got pregnant at the start of this thread after a mc & now I’m sitting feeding my daughter ❤️ but I’ve always kept up with the thread & sent good luck & positive thoughts from afar.

So happy to hear of your good news. I know what you mean about the worry, I was similar. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well & you enjoy the exciting times ahead!

Ahh that’s lovely to read, how old is she? Congratulations:) must feel so wonderful having her in your arms!! Xx

I've actually got some good news too. I'm 20 weeks and so far everything seems to be going well. Heard the heartbeat at an appointment yesterday.

Four years of trying, and we'd just had the IVF appointment.

This thread really stuck with me.

💐 To you all.

Congratulations @Nosejug and @Sleepypixxie 💕

Aw @HollyGolightly4 how lovely!! We’re quite close together! Congratulations 😻

Congratulations @HollyGolightly4 and @NosejugI am so very happy for you.

Still recovering from my little boy’s traumatic arrival in August, but he’s doing really well for the moment. He’s five months old now (3.5 months adjusted for prematurity).

I still keep this threat in my heart.

Thank you! She’s 15 weeks tomorrow, it’s gone so fast ❤️

@KittyFantastica that's great to hear your son is thriving. I understand what you mean about carrying the threat with you. For you that trauma is still relatively recent, but I hope that over time it will step back and back until its background and not right there in your heart. I hope you've received some support for this.

I'm starting psychological support next week as I panicked a bit when they started discussing cerclage etc. I have my first cervical scan later today but I'm more nervous about hospital parking for now that the scan itself -- maybe my brain is doing me a favour! Your situation was so extreme, but I'd definitely want to hear what their plan would be for it. I just do my best to not ponder too long over it and enjoy the bump I'm finally growing and trying to connect with who's in there.

@Sleepypixxie just so lovely to read that :)

Ah crap, baby is fine but my cervix is less than half of their minimum cut off for intervention. I’m 11mm which is insanely short. Getting a stitch in tomorrow if she can get enough cervix to perform it. Just please get me to 31 weeks.