TTC after loss part 6

[Figtree11]

Previous thread created is nearly full so starting a new one. Will try and tag names

@Confusedmermaid1 Sorry to hear you’ve had a third MC, it’s so incredibly tough. I rang Tommy’s after my most recent (third) MC - to be honest it wasn’t an emotional support conversation (maybe I rang the wrong helpline??). She was obviously very sympathetic, but really she mainly gave me practical advice about what tests to ask for from the Dr and how to get referred to one of the Tommy’s RMCs if I wanted to. It was useful, but I guess I was expecting/wanting a little more of a feelings session, which it definitely wasn’t.

@Confusedmermaid1 I’m sorry to hear about your third miscarriage, it’s really so unfair and I feel your pain with the due dates coming round, particularly when it’s so fresh. Sending love x

Ive used the Tommys helpline before 2/3x and found them to be amazing. It’s midwife led so you feel in really good hands, and I just felt there was an extra touch of empathy/understanding.

All of my NHS recurrent miscarriage results came back as normal (it was 5 blood tests testing for different things). I was then referred to Tommys Coventry and they prescribed me progesterone from a certain point after ovulation each month. I didn’t have any furthers tests, etc with Tommys, but imagine that’s down to my personal history (blood tests already run by NHS, 5 MCs, 1 DC).

I really liked it starts with the egg to have a guide that I could use to hopefully improve chances.

Oh @Confusedmermaid1 bless you we are on the same timeframes then, mine was Wednesday. I am so busy with work / started exercising / doing but seemingly always in afternoons I just get so overwhelmed and the crying starts 😂 Given I’m still bleeding I guess I (and we) just need time.

I’m sorry we are all going through this and especially so that you are on your third. It’s incredibly tough (and rough) — you are being a complete hero. Hope the further tests give you some resolution.

Thank you all for your kind words! If the Tommys phone line is more regarding accessing testing than anything I don’t think it’s worth ringing for now at least! I’ll wait for the recurrent miscarriage appointment and see what’s next. So far the doctors seem to have done as much as they can.. I was surprised with how quickly they took bloods though I suppose it made sense with me being at the hospital for the surgery anyway rather than bringing me back another time.

Allowing myself one last week of eating what I want (3 family celebrations this week!) then full steam ahead with the med diet next week 😅

Hi ladies, hope you don’t mind me joining this thread. I’m sorry we’re meeting given the circumstances and that we’ve all been through such a hard time and experienced a loss. The lovely @Toppstileslover actually pointed me in the direction of this thread, we was in touch via another TTC thread and fell on, on the same month and experienced our MC’s quite close together.

I had a MMC in December, the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and was found early as I had an early scan but my body didn’t react. I had an MVA in early Jan. Sadly, I found out earlier in the week I have retained products so I am back in on Friday for surgery but under general this time. Seriously feel so fed up that it is still going on and so on edge that it may not resolve things. But doing my absolute best to stay positive.

We won’t be jumping straight back into TTC as we get married in April and that will be my priority until then. But we will be back in the game from then onwards providing no more bumps in the road. In the meantime, I hope there is some positive stories I can read and hold onto on this thread!! 🫶

Have to say I find consultants secretaries so frustrating!! Called to book another scan to see if my cyst has resolved and am told she can't book me in as no appointments and to ring back when I get my period. If there are no slots now, then how on earth will you fit me in when I ring in 10 days time??! Complete head melt. Just wanted a date in the diary to work towards but back in limbo again. If nothing happens for another 3 weeks I can call back apparently...

Can you be put on a cancellation list @TrulyMiss ?
Secretaries can be a pain!

I'm sorry you have been through that @KT199 I hope the surgery brings an end to the MMC then you can look to your wedding and your next steps TTC

I'm having a shit week and might have to put TTC on hold as my job situation is precarious after an announcement this week. Having had leave for hyperemesis followed by miscarriage twice in 6 months I'm pessimistic even though I know they can't legally hold it against me I don't trust the system.

@KT199 I don't know if mine counts as a good news story. But I'm on my 5th pregnancy in 2 / 3 yrs. I'm now 23 weeks pregnant. Just taking each day as it comes. I have been reading this thread from the beginning but didn't have the mental coping skills to post earlier. As it's been such a long journey and so much heartache along the way.

Oh my I so feel for you! My workplace was a bloodbath last year with 10,500 cut — it was awful. There were three restructures and they just kept culling it. I was stuck on a contract for two years which is why we didn’t ttc until November. I really feel for you because it put my whole life on hold.

however this really won’t count - speaking as a LM it’s numbers on a headcount page. If you delivered you delivered.

Bless you @SnakebitesandSambucas that is an awful lot to go through. 23 weeks is doing really well, how are you feeling? I empathise, I never really acknowledged being pregnant because I was so convinced it would go wrong. Then it did 😂 so keep a positive mind.

my mmc bleeding is starting to stop so I might disappear for a month to wait for my period, I can’t face ttc. However I did crave and eat vegetables all day today (literally which is very normal for me!) AND I haven’t cried ALL DAY first time for a week so I think / hope I am turning a corner.

Yes it has been awful. The peri natal team have been great. But it doesn't help at 3am in the morning. I've finally told the kids 6 and 9 big hurdle to get over that mental block! On my normal meds so far. MMC are so cruel aren't they. 17 weeks, then all between 8-11 weeks after seeing a heartbeat. I just hated all the odds.

@Superscientist thanks! She did ring back eventually to say they'll refer me to someone else for the scan which makes more sense but she could have explained. The panic of thinking I'd have to wait another month if he wasn't available or else put my body through more meds that wouldn't work, was not nice!!

Hopefully the redundancy won't affect you but if it does, keep notes of everything and appeal all the way. Then even if you don't get to keep your job you might get some compensation to tide you over...

@Figtree11 just checking in with you beaut to see how you are?

Hope all you ladies are doing OK xxxx

Sorry to hear your work news @Superscientist i would encourage you to keep trying anyway. I’ve basically ruined my life over a job and now stuck here trying to cling on for the Mat pay, but the levels of stress etc mean I’ll probably never convince anyway.

How is everybody getting on? We had a bank holiday weekend in Ireland and I have to say I really enjoyed it. Was difficult to go to a family event on Saturday night with my sister who is 7 weeks pregnant (no challenges at all) and I bailed out of a baby names conversation (why would they have that in front of me???!). I still have a cyst so can't go back on clomid but my hormones are pretty stable for the first time in 2 months and honestly I've really been enjoying our little family of three. Wondering when is the right time to give up. I've had 7 months of fertility drugs and 2 miscarriages and I'm no closer. The drugs really affect me and I have no really quality of life taking them between the physical and mental affects. Husband is so sick of it all and would gladly get a vasectomy in the morning!!!!

@TrulyMiss ah glad you managed to enjoy the bank holiday. Sorry to hear about your sister having those conversations in your company, sounds insensitive.

I think the when to give up is a really tricky one, because there’s only so much your mind and body can take. Having said that, I’ve felt throughout that when it’s time I’d know. I set a couple of arbitrary dates, got to them and just thought I’m not ready yet (trying for DC2 since June 2022, 4x MCs since then and a long period where I just didn’t conceive following a 13 week loss).

sending love, there’s so much to contend with going through this x

Thanks for the well wishes x

@TrulyMiss it's difficult isn't it! We've been trying for about 9 months for number 2 and I have had 2 losses in that time. After the second loss we discussed trying until the summer but with my potential job loss I don't know whether we will continue.
We are happy as a family of 3 and whilst we would love another I think it does mean that we probably will have a lowish bar for stopping. Pregnancy and post partum is hard on me and if I'm coupling that with job stress it might prove to be more than is feasible without making me unwell.

That's a good way to put it @Superscientist - the bar is pretty low for us too. A second child was always more of a nice-to-have than an absolute requirement. I'm also trying to think of the pros - my son is 4 now so we're through the early years and life is very manageable... I was partly doing it for him but now I'm seeing some negative effects for him because I'm just not coping well and I'm pumped full of hormones. No easy/right choices though

I can totally understand the wondering if it’s worth keeping trying conversation. We are also happy as a family of 3. We had a TFMR last year which we all found traumatic. Sometimes I wonder if we’d be happy staying as a 3. The thing for us is that my little boy is from a previous relationship and I’d love for us to have a little one together too. I’d also love for my son to have a sibling. So for now we’ll keep trying.

This time last year I found out I was pregnant. It hurts to think about that. I’ve also just been really poorly during this month’s ovulation window so we didn’t do the deed at the right time at all. It’s made me feel really down at the moment.

Going to let myself have a bit of a gloomy time and then I’ll try to get back on the positivity (and hopefully positive!) train

How's everyone doing?
I have an interview at work tomorrow to hopefully keep my job. I'll find out if I'm successful the week after.
It's now 8 weeks since my miscarriage and no period but I've left a bit nauseous the last couple of days. The idea of having no job in a week and a half makes me feel sick but there's a niggle that it could be something else

@Superscientist fingers crossed for you for the outcomes you're hoping for with the job (and the nausea) - it's a lot to be dealing with at once. 💙 FWIW the longest my period ever took to come back after an MC was six weeks, but I know some people it does take longer.

My longest was 7 weeks following a second trimester loss. Felt like I was going dolally with the hormones. That build up of hormones then when the bleeding started. I felt semi normal obviously traumatic but like a reset button. Tbh I never used to be squeamish about blood severe endo etc. But every time since my misscarriges any period blood sends me spiralling. Therapy has helped a little.

@SnakebitesandSambucas good luck with the interview!! And how lovely if you have fell on so quick after your MC 🥹 fingers crossed for you.

I’m only one week post second surgery as I had retained products, so assume my cycle will have “reset” at that point vs the first procedure. It’s quite nerve wracking waiting for the cycle to reappear although I’m a good few weeks off at the moment I suspect.. alongside the worry of whether it’s actually been successful second time around too. This whole situation has made me such a worrier!!!

@KT199 hi think you have confused me with another poster. I have never fell pregnant straightaway after my misscarriges. But took me a while between conceptions. But I am now pregnant 24 weeks complete shock. Longest pregnancy since my last living child xx

So sorry my previous message was meant to quote @Superscientist!! I must have clicked the wrong tag after the @. But huge congratulations on the pregnancy, 24 weeks is a great milestone and I really hope things progress for you!! 🫶

@Superscientist so sorry - my previous response was to your post!

That's why I gave up tagging 🤣. Yes it's a major step still on the anxiety ladder 🪜. But I'm enjoying it a bit more now. Feel so guilty for not enjoying the early days more. I love my bump though! Being a shorty it's amusing to my kids! As my eldest is nearly as tall as I am 😁