Anyone trying for a 3rd child?

[AnaReis]

We've started 3 cycles ago trying for our 3rd. I'm going to be 41 soon and both me and DH feel exactly the same about this, feels like going for a 3rd is a bit insane, with all the challenges in logistics, but at the same time it feels like we both really want it ❤️ We're sort of going for a leap of faith... is anyone in the same boat?

@MacNut you answered my question! Yay for you!! Great news ♥️ you must feel very relieved x

omg congratulations @HappyValleyFan1 !!!!

So good to see the new BFPs.

So sorry for what you’re going through @WhatTheEll I had a chemical just before DS2 & was devastated. I understand the need to detach, just make sure you’re kind to yourself.

On CD26 today and I’ve been lightly spotting so I know AF is on her way. We will then be ready to start TTC. I noticed my AF being a lighter colour from about 8 months ago & I’m terrified it means something is wrong. I had other gyno issues at the time so I’ve had all the tests (internal scans to check uterus & ovaries, smear, skin biopsies) which all came back normal. The gyno problems are actually caused by stress - go figure! So I guess this is just what happens now I’m mid 30s. I’m just very scared it means I can’t get pregnant. I suffer with anxiety generally & my health anxiety is pretty bad. I’m well aware that I’m worrying before we’ve even started TTC but this is how my mind works when my anxiety is spiralling (which I know is counterproductive because anxiety affects fertility!). Sorry for the essay. Think I just wanted to put my fears out there to people who understand. My plan is to TTC this cycle and then maybe book in for a private blood test. My worry (as everything, even solutions make me worry!) is that if I’m low in something, I will fixate, worry more and then my fertility is affected even more 🤦🏻‍♀️

@HappyValleyFan1 wow congratulations! That isn’t even a squinter! ❤️

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow thank you. I don’t think we’ll be going down the route of testing etc. DH is very much ‘what will be will be’ and I really don’t think it’s the right thing for us, particularly me as I have OCD and I know I’ll get too obsessed with it. It wouldn’t be fair on my DC.
My DC1 was a surprise baby while I was on the pill and conceived DC2 on the first time trying so just assumed it would be easy this time around!

@WhatTheEll hope you're doing okay. you're right maybe give yourself a mental break, or even just give yourself a goal for example after Xmas. I would just enjoy unprotected sex, enjoy having a drink over the next few months and then maybe if you're not pregnant by the new year start thinking about tracking ovulation again. Just an idea! Just make sure you take care of yourself 💖
It's a condition called retinitis pigmentosa which makes the males blind later in life 🙁 my grandad was blind and my brother has night blindness but he's in his 20s.
I think I feel the same as you about aborting, I understand why some women do it but I don't know if I could? But I don't think I could live with myself knowing that child will lose his sight 😓 It's difficult, I just hope I don't have to find out!
Ah so did you actually have the amnio with your son? I can't imagine how challenging it must be for you but I'm sure it's something you learn as you go. How old is he?

@HappyValleyFan1 congratulations!! 🥳

Bright white bfn on a boots test this morning at 10dpo!

Not sure how I feel about it - disappointed/surprised/bit relieved…Inwas really expecting a bfp because of the spotting I had earlier in the week! I will test again on Sunday just in case as that’s the day I’d need to stop my meds if I’m definitely not pregnant.

Hope everyone is doing ok and looking forward to the weekend!

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow 10DPO is still so early. The spotting would have me thinking BFP too, so I get it. Keep us posted for Sunday ♥️

@happytobemrsg I'm sorry you're stuck in TTC limbo with this added anxiety. It is so tough. The blood tests may be a good idea because that could alleviate some of your stress 💚

@Suchardchoccy thank you, I'm doing ok. And you typed exactly what I was thinking about taking a break until Xmas/just after 🥰

Wow, that's a lot with the condition. I completely get your stresses.....knowing your child will go blind. So so tough. Very tricky decisions to be made by you and your partner. It's a rollercoaster isn't it?
We didn't have any testing with my son. Being our first, we just went with it. Found out two years later because he initially presented typically and then regressed. My DC2 we had NIPT, cord blood tested but due to two previous losses whilst TTC#2 I decided against amnio/CVS knowing I would abort anyway.
My son is 6. His condition means he is 1 in 5 million people to be born with it. He is very special ♥️
I had no previous experience with disability, SEN or even knew anyone with autism so we've been in this world now for 4.5 years and it's just not something you consider when TTC #1. If that was that was the tag line a lot less people would do it! 😬😬

Sorry for essay x

@Suchardchoccy that was meant to be... "WOULDN'T abort" x

hi everyone looking for some advice really and not wanting to post on fertility board... recently found out i am pregnant, very early only 4-5 weeks so waiting until we get a scan at 7 weeks before telling anyone. my sister, no children yet, has been trying to concieve for around 1.5 years propperly. shes had 3 miscarriages and has went for testing to be told her partner has low count and going for fertility treatment which is starting within the next few weeks. I am terrified to tell her she will be so devastated, she had made a few comments and generally not been nice to me due to the fact i have kids but calmed down and has been ok since. she previously told me " please not get pregnant before me, i cant deal with that" and to be honest is obsessed with being pregnant and says its all she thinks about from the moment she wakes till she sleeps, its a little concerning and i am really truly heartbroken she is having these difficulties. i know it will kill her when I tell her. i am 8 years older than her so time isnt on my side as much and i am delighted I managed to fall pregnant again, i cant put my life on hold for when it suits her but I am so heartbroken for how i am goinig to make her feel. its a really hard situation. unsure when or how to go about this, does anyone have any advice?

@Scotmum256 its a tricky one. It is obviously going to come out!

Personally my priorities would be (a) make sure she finds out from you, not through someone else and (b) tell her by text, not to her face or on the phone, so she has time to process it by herself. I also wouldn’t send a scan picture as it’s basically meaningless for people other than the parents and may be triggering for her.

Maybe depends on your relationship with her but I actually wouldn’t say anything that would imply you’re expecting her to be upset about it, as that might be even more offensive, but neither would I expect her to be jumping for joy or be offended if she doesn’t go big on the congrats.

So probably a short message saying just to let you know I’m pregnant, due date is X. And then maybe ask how she is and leave the ball in her court.

Thats what id want anyway, as someone who has had 4 losses. And congratulations!

Thank you @Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow and sorry about your losses ...

I was thinking along the lines of a text but didn't know If that was abit shit or not as I was contemplating between that and a phone call. Not going to send anything unless she asks and I'm quite happy to not talk about it with her as I can only imagine how difficult it is. I'll be the one to tellnher and I haven't told anyone yet. Unsure if I should wait abit or do it before her treatment kicks off , not sure if that will br worse or not for her. She was my first thought when I tested positive and I just want to make it as bearable for her as i can.

Welcome! I'm going to be 41 in October too.
I'm so sorry its been so hard to conceive baby #3 😕 I don't think it's crazy if it is something that you want 💖

Omg that's expensive 😱

I don't think it's selfish at all 💖 if it makes sense for you and your family then go for it! It must be stressful to have to wait for the results of the gender and then amnio if necessary 😕

Welcome and good luck! 😍 ❤️

Oh no I missed this! I'm so sorry 😢😔 sending you a lot of love ❤️ ❤️

Oooh that's a positiiiiive! 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

Feeling a bit more positive today. It looks like AF will show up today (a day earlier than usual making this a 26 day cycle). So now I’ll just be counting down the days until BD!!

Congratulations @HappyValleyFan1 🎊 x

That's really hard 😔 it just shows that you love your sister very much.

As much as I understand her suffering you can't stop living your life to try and keep her from being sad.

I don't know your relationship with your sister and she's clearly in a lot of emotional pain from what she's going through, understandably, but if she lived close to me I think I'd tell her in person. I'd be prepared for her to react badly, as its a very sensitive subject 😔 if not I think I'd phone her. But I trust you'll do what you feel is best ❤️

Thanks ladies, just catching up. Seems really surreal. I'm trying to get onto the clinic as I was under the recurrent MC clinic previously and on meds for my son's pregnancy which I really believe the intervention helped. Just really hope they'll be good about it

@Scotmum256 I've been in your sisters position in terms of the losses etc, it does hurt when other people can seem to conceive and you can't but that doesn't excuse her behaviour. Some might see this as a get out of jail card but I had this conversation with someone in a similar position to me before and I think in this situation a message is appropriate. You might feel that you need to tell her to her face but this way you can explain you wanted to let her know as you know it will hurt her and didn't want to do that in person as she can then have her own time to digest the news, but be as supportive as you can to her in sharing your news. Actually just read more of the thread and yes practically the same advice as @Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow you're still quite early on the 10dpo but waiting out until Sunday seems sensible ❤️ BFNs are weird when there's a mixture of sadness and relief.

Thanks @HappyValleyFan1. I don’t know what to think really!

The test was a cheap boots one so I sort of think it possibly just wasn’t sensitive enough - as I’ve always had BFPs at 10dpo but they’ve always been squinters - but then also thinking I’m just deluding myself! We went out for dinner tonight and I had a couple of drinks so I think I’m basically resigned to it being bfn deep down.

Ok so AF here this morning…shocker as this is CD27 and my cycles are like clockwork 29 days, and the only time they’ve been different in my entire adult life is when AF is late, not early.

No idea what is going on, but I guess I’m definitely not pregnant!

Need to decide what we should do - keep trying, skip the next couple of cycles, call it a day…no idea what to do for the best! But will give it a few days to see how I feel.

Hope everyone is well!

I'm so sorry AF showed up 😔😔 how many cycles have you been trying for?

@WhatTheEll absolutely, then you can relax and enjoy Christmas as possibly your last Christmas just the 4 of you! 😊 is that right 4?

You're completely right it is a rollercoaster. On the one hand you want another so badly and then you think oh but what if the worst happens.
Ah okay yeah that makes sense and I don't blame you not having the amnio/CVS if you wouldn't abort anyway, there's no point in risking miscarriage. I actually read up on the difference between amnio and CVS last night and I think what I would be offered is CVS. Of course you never think of the possibilities of things like that you just hope for the best or expect the best! We were too relaxed with the girls, now it feels like oh we're definitely going to have a boy this time because we've already got 2 girls. So this time I'm more worried if that makes sense. And you're absolutely right about having a healthy boy, as long as it's healthy I'm happy. It's just less initial stress if it's a girl finding out the sex. Of course he is special 🥰 it's nice to be able to relate with someone with this