Anyone trying for a 3rd child?

[AnaReis]

We've started 3 cycles ago trying for our 3rd. I'm going to be 41 soon and both me and DH feel exactly the same about this, feels like going for a 3rd is a bit insane, with all the challenges in logistics, but at the same time it feels like we both really want it ❤️ We're sort of going for a leap of faith... is anyone in the same boat?

I really hope everything progresses for you ❤️ I can't fathom how stressful it must be... I remember the fear I felt, crying outside the office, waiting for a scan, when I was bleeding at 7 and then at 13 weeks with my second 😢 it's completely out of our control...

Sending you hugs ❤️🍀

Oh I really hope you manage to! ❤️❤️❤️ It would be the best Christmas gift 🎄there's still time!

Oh no! I hope you feel better soon ❤️

The pink dye tests from boots are really good, the ones that look like a FRER. I've looked online and they have really good stats.

Thank you @AnaReis ♥️

Tests continue to get fainter and I started bleeding this morning......here we go again for the 3rd time. I'm trying to be thankful that it's happening naturally (March 2021 was medically managed). I will keep testing sporadically to make sure they are negative. I know I sound very cut and dry, but my default is to withdraw the emotional side. I went to a baby class this morning with DC2 and twinkle little star started playing and I was trying to hold back tears. I'm pushing myself to keep my mind active and full.....I also bought wine.

@Suchardchoccy I really feel for you. Our DC1 has a very rare genetic syndrome, not passed on by us but still a 1% chance of passing it on so we go through a lot testing. Everything crossed for you 💚

Good luck! I'm so sorry you have the added stress of the genetic disorder 😔 will you do genetic testing as soon as you get pregnant or how does it work? 🤔

Hi all, could I join too?

I am 41, ttc number 3 for 1.5years, had 4 chemicals, then end of August IVF cycle - 4 day-5 blastocysts, but unfortunately all came back genetically abnormal from PGTA testing 😔 which is kind of expected as definitely egg quality is an issue. Planning to try another cycle in November, while trying naturally in between.. But really losing hope to find that one golden egg..
Do you think I am fully insane to consider donor egg for baby number 3? I have daughter ftom previous relationship, son with my husband, so then third genetically related only to him

@WhatWhatTheEll I'm sorry, it's not nice is it. Thank you 💜

@AnaReis thank you. When I get pregnant, the geneticist will arrange an NHS scan to determine how far along I am then do a blood test at 9 weeks to confirm the sex. If it's a girl, brilliant. If it's a boy then I have the option of having an amniocentesis at 11 weeks to confirm whether or not he has the genetic disorder. Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis can cost up to £12k 😫 so far we have two DDs so I don't know if we are being selfish trying for a third

@WhatTheEll i am so so sorry. I think everyone handles these things in their own way and there is no right way, but it sounds like you’re approaching it the way I did with my mcs - it’s a definite positive if it’s happening naturally - you will move on and conceive again asap and things will be better 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻. But be kind to yourself.

@Suchardchoccy that does sound really tough. Sorry if I’ve missed this but how do you know you have this condition? Do either of your kids have it? Fingers crossed it’s a girl next time and you don’t need to worry about the amnio.

Oh sorry @Suchardchoccy just saw you have 2 DDs already.

@WhatTheEll sorry I only just read the first bit of your comment. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and have gone through. Everything happens for a reason 💖 try to stay positive and strong.

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow my grandad had the condition, my mum is a carrier. My brother now has the condition and I have been tested and confirmed to be a carrier. Yes, I'm hoping that when I do get pregnant again it's a girl 🤞I don't know what I will do if it's a boy and has the condition... there is always the option of abortion but I don't know if I could ever go through that, I've obviously never been in that situation. And yes we're very very lucky to have two DDs, how could we possibly be lucky to have a third! But just because we have two DDs already, it's still a 50% chance, and then if it's a boy it's another 50% he'll have the condition

Yep, also trying for baby no3 & feel pretty insane as our DD's are age 12 & 9. Think I'm just really missing being needed tbh. Currently 6dpo and have my fingers firmly crossed. Sending best wishes to all of you x

Feeling really deflated/upset this morning, coming to the end of month 5 TTC. We had a rough evening with DD5 playing up not settling for bed. DH came out with he's not sure if he wants us to have anymore children and is having major doubts and we need to talk. States it wasn't a knee jerk reaction to the situation but I've expressed how upset I am that it wasn't really the appropriate time so yeah. CD29, 11dpo, think AF may be looming but just feeling rather shitty and needed to vent somewhere. I think someone else mentioned similar last month although I can't remember who

@WhatTheEll I’m sorry that you’re going through that. Totally understand detaching but also make sure you are treating yourself with some care

Feeling absolutely shite today if I’m honest. Period has finished so we now head into cycle 8 of TTC and I could cry when I think about another month of it not working out. We’re talking June baby if it works this month when I would be 39 and DH almost 43 and I wonder if I’m just pushing my luck

sorry for the pity party but DH is so optimistic and doesn’t get it.

Oh no im so sorry - not a happy morning on the thread!

@WhatTheEll really hope you’re ok (as is possible in the circumstances) x

@HappyValleyFan1 it was me! I had exactly the same earlier this cycle. The kids were really playing up - it was the end of the summer hols and I think lack of routine was getting to them. DS (also 5!) ‘s behaviour was absolutely awful. We had an incident where DH actually pulled out when he came (on about cd5 🤣) and then said he wasn’t sure he wanted another.

We actually didn’t really even talk about it in the end. Like you I felt it was just a reaction to the situation and not a considered thing. He obviously knows we’re not on contraception and we then dtd throughout fw so I guess he decided he was up for it after all 🤷🏼‍♀️. Only you know your DH and the best way of dealing with it, but if you think it was just a knee jerk reaction and you’re not actually near fw then maybe just give it a few days before talking about it? You’ve been ill as well so are probs knackered. And anyway - you might be pregnant!

@AFeastForCrows sorry you are down too. You are absolutely not too old if that’s what you’re worried about. I think the advice is to seek advice after 6 cycles of trying post 35 - sorry if I’ve missed this but have you spoken to your GP at all? How quickly were your others conceived?

Im 9dpo today. Have date night with DH tomorrow - can’t decide now whether to test in the morning or not! I have to take 10 days of my steroid meds but I started them a day late so don’t need to test until Sunday.

Thank you all for your kind words 💚 it really does mean a lot.
I'm doing ok. It's like a very very bad period. I'm now thinking we should wait a couple of cycles; 1) to give me a mental break, 2) to see what my cycles are actually like as this was first back PP after BF. But as with a few here, age is not on my side.....37, DH almost 39.
Just going to ride this out anyway for now.

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow date night sounds lovely! Keep us posted if you test 🤞🏻

@HappyValleyFan1 sorry it's been tough for you 💚

@Suchardchoccy I find the genetic stuff fascinating, if not very hard to digest also from a personal perspective.
How does the condition present?
We were given the opportunity for amnio/CVS (I think it's abbreviated?). Honestly, even though my son presents very challengingly medically and behavioural, I couldn't abort if I knew my unborn child had the same condition. My DH doesn't think he could have another child with special needs, so it's a very hot topic in this house.
I completely understand your dilemma. How is your brother doing? How fantastic would it be to have boy without the condition 🥰 xx

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow that's right, I do remember just couldn't remember it was you. That's good and seemingly just a wobble for your DH if he didn't want to talk about it further 😄 my DH does so I suppose we'll have to this weekend.
I'm more annoyed at the time he brought it up which he has apologised for this morning but if there are any doubts on his side it's a firm no to continuing from me. I think I'll test tomorrow, if a BFP I feel really weird about that now 😬

Testing tomorrow morning for you seems a good idea if you have date night?

@WhatTheEll I think sometimes you need the mental break but that's equally as tough too making that decision 🫂

Sh*t I caved as just had an urge to test 😬

That's not even a squinter @HappyValleyFan1!! Congratulations 🥰🥰

@WhatTheEll hope you're doing ok. Been thinking about you lots. Hope you're managing to get a bit of rest and take care of yourself 🫂

I did another digi yesterday at 5+4 and got my 3+ so fingers crossed things are progressing as they should 🙏 I won't test again. Got my first scan on 7th October when I should be 8w so just hoping that gives me some reassurance while I wait for the nhs scan a few weeks later

@HappyValleyFan1 that is THE best news!!! 👀 🥳🥳🥰🥰 congratulations to you. This has genuinely made me so happy. That strong line deserves a digital!

@MacNut thank you, I appreciate that. I hope you're doing ok too....are you doing another digital?