November 2007- going through, been through or ttc after mc, still positive and still eating cakes

[grinningbee]

Here we are then, if it worked!

A nice new shiney thread to fill up with gorgeous cakes.

I'll start with a gooey sticky pecan pie at got at the W.I market yesterday morning

Thanks everyone for sympathy... I know you all know how it feels. Feel much less on the edge tonight... Ladylush - you are right, I too am so thankful for dd and dh, esp. as I know some of you ladies here are going through this to conceive your first.

Jules - so sorry things aren't looking good for your sister.

jules - your poor sister I hope you are right a little miracle will happen and if it doesn't I'm sure she will have the most loving, supportive sister to help her through it.

wheelybug - I felt like you do that I shouldn't feel as I did about losing the baby as I already had 2 and I always felt I was somehow pushing my luck going for 3. I never ever expected to feel so raw and the sense of loss was overwelming, there are ups and downs in this grief process we just got to go down to come back up again.

Thanks SK - I think for me now its more the fact that I have conceived really easily twice and now I have gone 14 months of actively ttc since m/c and its just not happening and I don't understand why. I know that this is just how it sometimes happens but at times it just seems incomprehensible and I think - well if it hasn't happened by now then its never going to, because it happened quickly before if that makes sense.

Anyway, my builders finish next week so we can get on with DH's test (I gave him grace not to do it whilst our house is teaming with builders from 8am every morning !) and then we'll go and see a specialist in the new year.

sk hope the next 3 weeks go quickly so you can see your bean!

gb good luck for testing - when will that be if you are not restocking until Saturday?

jules so sorry about your sister, how heart breaking

wheely at AF

dustin goingfor3 ladylush hi waves

Lou glad to know you're OK!

Excellent Lovelylou, excellent.

Happy birthday Dustin, hope its a good one for you.

Jules. Im so sorry for your family. Nothing I can say will make it better. Just know that we are all here for you whenever you need to let off steam.

Morning guys - Hope all doing OK.

Need a bit of reassurance that I am not a mad woman. Finding things really hard this week - just feel so sad about the last couple of weeks and can't believe I am no longer pregnant. Building up all week and found out last night that another manager in the same team as me is pg. I just knew it when I saw her yesterday and found out when I was out last night. Also feel so guilty for it upsetting

Feel as if I am making everyone uncomfortable just by being around.

Came home and just sobbed - I mean real sniffily, catching breath sobbing. DP gave me a cuddle and let me moan on - haven't really talked to him this week as he has probably had enough

I knew it was going to be hard but I thought that going back to work would make it easier and it still so difficult.

Have a day off today so am hoping that a bit of r & r will make be feel stronger.

Sorry for the long ranting post - but feel like I am going mad as I am just not 'me' at the moment.

Hugs teehee It takes a long time to heal. I don't think I will ever be able to put mine behind me until I have another baby. Though, if it wasn't to be I suppose I would have to accept it at some point. I hope the r&r helps today. I found rest and pampering helped a lot.

Hi ClairePO How are you?

Belated happy bday to Dustin.

Hi Jules

Lissie and Katendmom - thinking of you

Wheely - How are you today?

teehee - try and take it easy. there is no set time limit for healing and you never know what it going to set you off. sounds like you have a good DP to support you.

People just don't know what to say sometimes and just aren't sure how to approach you.

I remember when my hormones were dropping, I was just impossible to console..but it does pass and you will be back to your old self in no time.

Hope everyone is doing alright this morning!!

teehee As the others said, go easy on yourself. It's still very early days yet and it sounds as though you're still in shock to a certain extent, not quite believing that it's all happened. Work will help to keep your mind busy but you've done the right thing to recognise that you also need some time to rest and taken the day off. You've been through a lot. Mc is a grieving process and we mustn't forget that, even if some people try to minimise the whole experience by calling it "a bunch of cells". You will feel better soon I promise, keep taking it one day at a time. Keep talking to your DP as well - it was his baby too. Lots of hugs.
Jules so sorry about your sister. Lots of hugs to you both.
Dustin Belated happy birthday!
Grinningbee - You're keeping us on tenterhooks! A line is a line though
Hope everybody else is OK today.

Big hugs Teehee.

Thanks for the offer of the cb SK. I shall be getting something like it tomorrow

I don't mean to keep everyone on tenterhooks, honestly! In my head I keep veering from feeling like I am pg, then that I'm not. I've decided that if I'm still not sure this time next week I shall go to the quack and ask for them to do a blood test. I know a line is a line, but I don't know whether to believe it (lol) If I can find the digital camera I'll take a piccy of the one I did yesterday and you can all decide!

I keep trying to tell myself I'm not convinced yet as I don't want a huge disappointment if AF shows up... I suppose really I'm trying to hold off being terrified that I am because of what happened a few weeks ago. Aaaaaaaaarrrrrggghhh!!

Now then, where did that chocolate cake go?

Just popped in to share big slab of absolutely delicious chocolate brownie that i got at an Italian market this morning.

All you pg ladies, remember, chocolate makes for happier babies apparently, so dig in.
And anyone with af knows chocolate is essential.

Sorry you're feeling down teehee, it's hard enough seeing pg people everywhere you go, but extra hard when they're at work all day with you. It's totally understandable, especially at this early stage in your grieving. I hope you have your own pregnancy again soon.

Jules - hope your sister is ok, at least sh has you to support her through this time.

SK - I know what you mean about already having dc(s) - there is a feeling that maybe you shouldn't feel too bad because you've already got kids, but you've still lost a child and you've got a constant reminder in your own children of what the lost child could have been like. Everyone's circumstances are different, but ultimately we've all lost a child, and all had our hopes dashed, and we're all grieving.

Hope everyone else is ok this morning

Thanks for the birthday wishes!! I am still waiting for the only birthday present I wanted- A BFP!! I am on cd21 and when I put in my order I was told to allow 28 days for delivery! (If only it was that easy!)

Hi all,

Hope you don't mind me joining, I had an early miscarriage starting on 27th October
we had been trying for 13 months and was only 5 weeks along. I had only known for 4 days before I started bleeding and I'm still finding it hard to get my head around it, feels like it has happened to somebody else even though it was obviously very real at the time.

Can anybody tell me if it is possible to ovulate this early after a miscarriage as I have had a few days of EWCM (started 5 days after bleeding stopped) and I thought it would take my system a while to get back to normal, I want to try and stay positive but I can't bear to think that it will take 13 months or more to get pregnant again. I have been having reflexology twice before getting pregnant and once last night I thought I was 'coping' quite well but today feel very tearful and sad

Gracie14 So sorry that you have had to join this thread. I don't know about early ovulation after mc but I am sure someone on here will be able to help.

Gracie, I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through.

As for your question - I think some people do ovulate soon, because some women get pg very quickly after a mc. However, I don't think that EWCM is a sign that you're ov, after mc - I seem to remember thinking the same, and then I read on a site that this wasn't the case. A link was posted before which was really informative, I'll try and track it down for you

Gracie -
not very technical so hope this works
[www.pregnancyloss.info]
down left side there's a bit about how do i know when i ovulate

if link hasn't worked, it's www.pregnancyloss.info

www.pregnancyloss.info

spilshspolsh - thanks means a lot it's just in RL no one really talks to me about the mc anymore, I get the feeling that not many of my family believed the one I lost was planned anyway and I had a few comments of it being for the best no one in my family has had more than 2 children for about 50 years so it was a for them that I would plan to have 3. It's one of the reasons I am not telling them for a while that I am pregnant again, I only want to tell people who are happy for me but thats my family. God knows what I would do without all you guys that understand.

Gracie - hello and sorry you had to join us. When I had my mc I worked out that I must have ov whilst still bleeding from the mc as AF appeared not long after the bleeding stopped, I had another AF then I am pregnant again, hope you get pregnant again soon as well. TBH I threw myself into ttc again to cope with the loss.

grinningbee - I hope you find out for real soon, the waiting and not knowing can't be good for you. I do hope that the line turns into something though. Is it getting darker. I know with the ebay cheapies that they were so faint the day AF was due but 3 days later a bit darker then 5 days later darker still. I also had a very faint line on a Tesco test before and got a BFP with a CBD.

Thanks for all the messages of support. I agree with sk - sometimes people in RL don't understand and it is so nice to have a safe place to rant.

Feel a bit better - spent most of the day with my mum, running a few errands and lunching and stuff. Came back home to find my dating scan appointment ! Fantastic timing ! Didn't fall apart though and am now on sofa with a big cup of tea and box of chocolates !

Gracie So sorry for your loss, you will find lots of comfort and virtual cakes here.
justjules Hope you and your sister are OK - I am thinking of you.

DUSTIN Happy birthday and your last post really made me

Grinningbee Fingers crossed - Are you really doing a CBD this weekend - I am sure you said that last weekend BTW - Talk of WI cake stall making me v/jealous ! Any goodies today?

Um, we still have some of the W.I choccy cake left from yesterday, but I have just eaten a bit of marzipan. Ok, I know you're supposed to put it on cakes, but I like it on its own!

I'll admit this now to you guys, and I know you'll understand. I'm scared to do a digital test in case it says negative. There. Said it. The ebay ones are driving me crackers (won't be getting those again) - sometimes a vvv faint line, sometimes no line. The boots ones have been better, showing a thin line.

I think I'm driving myself and probably all of you insane!

I promise to be quiet now until I know for sure one way or the other. [zip faced emoticon]

Gracie, sorry you had to join us, but welcome. This is a lovely group and you'll find everyone full of support.

Evening everyone, ocado man will be delivering us all some carrot cake soon.

Gracie I am so sorry you have had to join us. I did some OPK's after my mc to see if it would pinpoint when I was ovulating but all it seemed to tell me was hormones all over place. Fingers crossed you won't have to wait so long next time.

gb when are you going to test???? If you are getting a faint line you are so get a CBD one everyone raves about! An use first morning wee. There - that is you told

grinningbee - no your not mad I completely understand not testing as while you don't know it's always a hope nothing worse than a big NOT PREGNANT on the CBD. But theres nothing worse than not knowing as well, argh it drives us mad this ttc business.

Fingers crossed grinningbee X
Sorry to hear of your loss Gracie I am having reflexology too. Hope you can conceive again quickly.

Grinningbee - I had a feeling that may be why. Do we even remember a time before ttc when AF just used to arrive and we didn't even notice how many days our cycle was. 2 years ago I can't even remember if I used to get sore (.)(.) every month. I still haven't worked out what is worse - getting AF when you had started to think this was the month or getting a BFN.

TTC definately turns us all into slightly crazy women if you ask me !!

Anyway this emotional rollarcoaster stuff is exhausting so I am taking to my bed.