6 months TTC

[Twinkletoes85]

Hello Ladies.

I’m mid 30s ttc my first. I was on the depo before, I know that causes issues to fertility and it will take longer. It was three months before my periods came back but I’ve been regular as clockwork since. Fairly certain I’m ovulating (lot of signs pointing to it) but still no baby. Im due again in the next couple of days and I can tell I’m going to come on.

I tried with my ex a few years ago for 7/8 months (although it was a very half hearted and not really a surprise it didn’t happen.) I wanted a baby for different reasons back then and got very upset every month. I was determined not to get as upset and try be more relaxed with my new partner but I’m starting to find it hard.

How do you cope with the disappointment of another failed cycle?

Hey there,

I'm in a similar situation, mid-30s trying to convince #1, all seems regular but on cycle 10 now.

I keep my chin up cycle-after-cycle by looking at my friends and their success stories. Almost all my friends have kids now and, whilst some were lucky pretty quickly, the majority were trying for quite a while... but eventually they managed and are now super happy with adorable babies. 2 couples needed IVF (but 1 had an underlying condition) and 1 managed with IUI, but most got there naturally.

It's still hard, and I do tend to get a bit obsessive still, but I keep telling myself to be patient and stay positive. And we try different things some months - changing between just monitoring ovulation and not some months, SMEP, etc. Not sure that helps, but I feel like I'm still more-or-less sane and happy to keep trying

Fingers crossed this month will be our month

Hi @beachbum85

I keep telling myself that coming off the depo it’s going to take a year most likely. And it’s a good sign that my periods are back and regular (you read some depo horror stories).

Not many of my friends have kids yet for the same reason as me (takes forever to get a house and previous long term relationships where it just wasn’t right etc etc). One of my close friends recently fell on her first cycle after coming off the pill and as excited as I am for her that’s been a bit hard.

But then I know people who have been through ivf etc and it was successful and they have healthy children now so I know there are options to help if I need it.

I’m trying to keep track of my cycle so we can try time the baby dancing to fit around rather than just taking a guess. I’ve been considering taking agnus castus but I don’t know if it’s a bit of an old wives tale 😂

I’m mostly managing to keep positive mindset and try not to get too down but as soon as I felt the twinges this morning I’ve just cried (but then this week I’ve mostly just cried haha)

I will keep my fingers crossed for us both 😊

Hi @Twinkletoes85 and @beachbum85
we must be the same age. I'm also ttc for the first time. This is cycle 6 for me. It's difficult staying upbeat as time ticks on.

Hi @CurbsideProphet

It is difficult to stay positive and it can be a hard thing to talk to people about too if they’ve either not tried, don’t want kids or fell on quickly.

How are you?

Good luck with this cycle!!

Hi @CurbsideProphet!

@Twinkletoes85 I'm sorry to hear you've been down this week hoping you'll feel better soon

Yes, I agree, I feel like I'm at a moment where none of my friends are TTC, because they already have kids, don't want them right now, or are not with someone they'd like to have kids with. And that makes it really hard to have nobody to talk to month after month.

I only joined here yesterday, but I think these groups can really help!

Good luck to both!

@beachbum85 thank you, I’ll cheer up soon think it’s mostly hormones!

These groups can really help to find people who understand the situation you’re in and how you’re feeling. You’re never alone 😊

@beachbum85 I don't have any friends to talk to either. Mumsnet is great for this, as there is always someone who feels the same!

@Twinkletoes85 thank you I've already had 2 chemical pregnancies so it's just getting harder really. I'm only on cd 23 / 22 dpo and already I've got cramps and other symptoms My pesky body really isn't playing ball!

@CurbsideProphet I’m really sorry to hear about the chemical pregnancies. Oh no what birth control were you on before? Some of them take longer than others to come out of the body and for things to work like they should.

@Twinkletoes85 nothing hormonal. It's just unfortunate really. You see all the statistics about how it can take up to 12 months with no problems, but obviously you just assume that it will only take a couple of months! I feel like every prog I watch has a surprise pregnancy with no real effort required 🤦🏻‍♀️

@CurbsideProphet yes I know exactly what you mean! But in real life as well, my cousin missed a pill and fell pregnant. My friend was on the pill for years and came off thinking it would take a while then fell on the first month.

It gets in your head a bit when it takes a while as there’s so much around making it look easy when the reality is it isn’t. Then there’s the you’re over 30 stuff which always nags at me.

It’s a whole world you don’t really know about until you decide to try

Hi again @Twinkletoes85 and @CurbsideProphet. How are you both doing?

@CurbsideProphet I’m very sorry about the chemical pregnancies.

Still keeping my fingers crossed for all of us!

Hi @beachbum85 I’m ok thanks, due to start today and have some cramping. I’ve been symptom spotting like mad this week though but I’m pretty convinced it’s in my head!

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you! Around 9DPO and symptom spotting like crazy too, but all I have is sore boobs and twinges on my right side, which I've had other cycles. So not very hopeful, although I was initially excited because we tried SMEP for the first time this month. Trying not to think about it till next Mon, but clearly failing coz I'm on here again

@Twinkletoes85 I hope the cramping is not AF.. let us know! Good luck!

@beachbum85, what exactly is SMEP? I’ll keep my fingers really tightly crossed for you that it worked!

I had cramps on Monday, cried all morning about them and then my temp shot up in the afternoon. I’ve been super emotional this week more so than usual. My legs have been sore too my knees especially on top of the usual back ache. I’ve had to go to bed once I’ve finished work as it’s been uncomfortably to stay sitting in my desk chair.

But then with being on the depo for a few years beforehand it could just be another step in my body getting itself back to normal.

@Twinkletoes85 I'm absolutely no expert, but all that sounds pretty promising to me! It must be annoying to be super emotional, but at the same time any new potential symptoms could be good? How long have you been off the depo? I'm not familiar - does it take a long time to get back to normal? Have you been having different changes month on month?

SMEP is the Sperm Meets Egg Plan - it's basically tracking ovulation and then timing DTD, just a bit more prescriptive. So not a big change, but it says to DTD 3 days in a row around ovulation, when usually we skip a day. There seem to be lots of quick success stories using this method, but really it's the same 25% chance, just making sure you're in with that 25%.

@beachbum85 it’s so frustrating as all the pregnancy symptoms and identical to pms. You’d think Mother Nature would make it clearer for us!

They say to expect it to take 12 to 18 months for your fertility to return post depo. I had my last shot in September which ran out in November but I didn’t have a period again until February. Since then they’ve been regular as clockwork but I don’t know if that means that it’s all working or not.

Ah ok, I’ve seen it mentioned a lot and I keep meaning to look it up. We tried to do that this month but my bf did his back in (unrelated I promise) the day I ovulated so we only managed the days before.

25% is a small percentage really but there so many pregnant woman around haha

Hi can I jump on?
I’m 28 and currently 2DPO on cycle #9 (trying since October) for first. My best friend started trying around the same time and got pregnant first try, which like you said, I’m so happy for her but I’m so disheartened about it. This month I really struggled when AF arrived as it was the last chance to have a 2020 baby. We’re doing absolutely everything we should be so it’s very worrying that something could be wrong. I know statistically it can take healthy couples up to a year but I can’t help but worry x

@Twinkletoes85 SO frustrating!
Sounds like post depo requires some patience, but great to hear that you've already been regular... maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised that everything has been working since Feb already
Hope your bf's back is OK now

Hello @Nat4392 and good luck for this cycle - hopefully it's the one! I worry too... We went to the GP to try and get some tests as I'll be 35 this year, but they were scheduled for March/April and now have been cancelled. Still, try not to worry too much, it's a percentage game, trial-and-error, and luck. We'll get there eventually

@beachbum85 I rang my GP as I’m over 35 and have been trying for 6mths but she said they wouldn’t test until 1 year. The test for me would have been a 21 day progesterone test, so I’ve ordered one from LetsGetChecked for £69.

Hi @Nat4392 welcome! I want to say try not to worry but I know that’s impossible. Good luck with this cycle, try to relax about it.

I tried with my ex for a while and it didn’t happen so I do understand your worry and how upsetting it can be. Try not to lose hope! And feel free to share how you’re feeling anytime xx

Thank you @beachbum85 💐
I'm day 25 and have spotting and cramps, so expecting AF

Hi @Nat4392 👋🏻 I'm on cycle 6 now. I know exactly what you mean. The statistics say 12 months is normal, but it's a bitter pill to swallow when every month your hopes are dashed. The reassuring thing about mumsnet is seeing how many women are in the same boat

@CurbsideProphet sorry to hear, but still hoping it's not AF for you

@Slippingcareer thanks for that! yes, I was up for the 21 day test, as well as a pelvis exam, so good to know that at least the 21 day one can still be done - I'll look into that.

@Nat4392 I didn't mean to be dismissive and I hope it didn't come across that way. We're all here because the TTC situation weighs on us in some way, and support from other women in similar situations is so valuable, so hopefully a worry shared may become a worry halved

@beachbum85 it didn’t come across that way at all don’t worry!
MN has been a lifesaver when it comes to venting and speaking to others and getting advice.
It blows my mind that we spend most of our lives trying not to get pregnant only to find it’s even harder for it to actually happen when you want it to!

So true! Nothing really prepares you for how hard it actually is!
I always thought I would be calm and patient, and 2 months in I was already getting kinda obsessed
So glad I found MN and everyone here!