6 months TTC

[Twinkletoes85]

Hello Ladies.

I’m mid 30s ttc my first. I was on the depo before, I know that causes issues to fertility and it will take longer. It was three months before my periods came back but I’ve been regular as clockwork since. Fairly certain I’m ovulating (lot of signs pointing to it) but still no baby. Im due again in the next couple of days and I can tell I’m going to come on.

I tried with my ex a few years ago for 7/8 months (although it was a very half hearted and not really a surprise it didn’t happen.) I wanted a baby for different reasons back then and got very upset every month. I was determined not to get as upset and try be more relaxed with my new partner but I’m starting to find it hard.

How do you cope with the disappointment of another failed cycle?

Hi ladies I hope you don’t mind me joining in this conversation.
I am going through the same issue. I wonder if you ladies have any good advice.
I am 28 and I had a miscarriage at 3months in March last year. Myself and my partner have been trying since and nothing’s happening! But since the miscarriage my periods have gone from being really regular at 28days bang on before the pregnancy and now they are so so irregular! They anything from 21-29 days, varying in heavy and light, painful not painful, and they just don’t seem to settle into a regular cycle even a year later. I have done ovulation test kits which showed on one cycle I ovulated 7 days after the period finished which was a relief to know that I ovulate But the following period I tested again on the 7th day after period and I wasn’t ovulating. It’s like some cycles I ovulate and some I don’t! Plus I’ve had sex on the days I think I ovulate and still not pregnant.
I spoke to my doctor and she said just don’t stress and but having a baby to back of your mind and it might happen. Which I think it rubbish advice when it’s all you want. It’s hard to put it to back of your mind. She never even said if this was normal for my periods to go from regular to really irregular after miscarriage ether. So I’m still unsure if it’s normal or not even a year later!
I just not getting pregnant it’s so disheartening.
Help ladies 😫 xxxx

@jessyclaireS hi and welcome. I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage that can’t have been easy.
I don’t have any advice I’m sorry but that does sound really frustrating. Can you ask to speak to another doctor for a second opinion?

I have heard and read lots of things about not dwelling on it but it’s impossible not to think about isn’t it x

@Twinkletoes85 it was the worst time ever. Heartbreaking. Yea I guess I could. I just don’t want to undermine the other doctor but it would be nice to get some advice on how to help conceive I guess.
Exactly everyone says to you don’t think about it concentrate on something else. But how can you when that’s all you want. Your period is a constant reminder that your not pregnant, seeing other women with babies, social media. Seeing friends on there pregnant breaks me and I can’t seem to be happy for them which I hate myself for but it’s just to painful to see when you’ve been trying for a long time 😢
Hope you all are doing ok anyways and I sending good luck with your trying to conceive too. Xx

@jessyclaireS in my experience some doctors are better at certain things than others. I went to see one for my mental health a long time ago and his advice was get a new job. A few years later I finally went back to a doctor as I was struggling again and it was a totally different experience, lots of advice and help and the offer of follow ups if I needed them. It’s worth asking to see someone else as they may have a better understanding of fertility and be able to give you more advice.

It is difficult, please know you’re not alone xx

@Twinkletoes85
Ah I hope you ok now. Yes you maybe right. Once this lockdown has eased I may book in with another doctor or nurse and see if I can get some advice on how to conceive with irregular periods.

Aw thank you that’s lovely. It’s nice to know other couples are going through the same thing xx

@MrsW2603 that's brilliant, keep us updated and best of luck!!

@JessyClaireS hello! I don't have personal experience but from stuff I have read here and elsewhere, some doctors are very indifferent to ttc problems and not very up to date. Again I can't speak from personal experience and I guess every doctor is different and has their own areas of

Areas of expertise I meant!

@JessyClaireS hello, I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Can’t begin to imagine what you are going though.

I agree with the other ladies. Getting the opinion of a 2nd doctor is definitely worth it.

I’m on cycle 6 of ttc. I can totally relate to you with regards to feeling bad about not feeling completely happy for other couples. Especially when they seem to get pregnant at the click of a finger when your still trying.

Me & my husband have agreed if we still aren’t pregnant within the next 2-3 months we’ll get some tests done privately. I’ve read up on a couples MOT. I just think at least if I did have any issues they’ll be picked up quicker.

Just a thought that it may be something you could possibly try.

Hope all you lovely ladies are enjoying the sunshine. Thank you all for your support xxx

@Twinkletoes85 any update today?

I remember when I had my blighted ovum I had a d&c to remove it which was horrendous but for the following 3-4 months after that all I could think of was to have a baby. To the point I was getting so down so I got a kitten lol sounds stupid. Anyway this was over the Christmas period which also occupied my mind. I relaxed a lot and just kind of went with life. I conceived in the January so I think it is true try not to dwell on it all too much. I know that’s easier said than done as I’m back like it all again now.

I’ve seen some great reviews on the seven seas trying for a baby tablets so might start them if af comes this month.

@lindsey02, still no af. I think I’m three days late now but then I have been before. I’ve had some cramping and I was so warm last night that even my boyfriend was shocked. I dreamt af came too.

I just googled blighted ovum and d&c, that sounds awful! You poor thing going through that. Haha I have two cats so I know completely what you mean!

I’m glad to hear that it happened once you relaxed, hopefully it’s the same again, getting to the point of being able to put it out of your mind is the hardest part though isn’t it? the seven seas tablets from what I’ve seen are supposed to be good, well worth a try! How are you today?

So sorry to hear that you've been through such difficult times @Lindsey02 and @JessyClaireS
Big virtual hug to you and everyone else who's struggling

It's a BFN for me at 13dpo Not surprising but very disappointing just the same. So, onto cycle 11...

@justjen87 we've also just been talking about getting a couple's MOT. I'm nearing 35 and that's weighing on me, so I'd rather know if something's wrong.

Fingers still crossed for everyone else
@Twinkletoes85 keep us updated!

@Twinkletoes85. You were the first person I thought of this morning. When are you thinking of testing?

I’m going to try the tablets I think. I’m feeling ok today and pretty positive it will happen when the time is right. I don’t want to get myself all worked up and push my partner away. He’s on 200mg of antidepressants which is a high amount so it’s not always as easy for him.

I also found on amazon a clear blue ovulation tests that you sync with your phone so it records the data etc. Has anybody tried this?

@beachbum85 how do you get a couples MOT? My boyfriends still under 30 but he had a check a few years ago that said he’s fertile but doesn’t have as many swimmers as your average.

@lindsey02, I’ve not idea. I don’t really know when’s the best time. Not for a couple of days yet as I’m still not convinced af isn’t going to arrive.

That sounds like a really good mindset to be in. Keeping positive will help keep your partner positive. There’s so much out there to try that I’m sure it will happen!

Sorry about the bfn @beachbum85

Let's all keep positive ladies, our babies are coming 💕

Thanks @Fifol! Keeping my chin up

@Twinkletoes85 I think you get it done through a private fertility clinic, and it can be costly, but I haven't really looked into it properly yet. My bf was due a sperm test as he's almost 40, but it was cancelled coz of Covid, so he was looking into doing that privately and then saw that most places recommend a couple's MOT rather than him getting tested alone.

@Lindsey02 I've been using Seven Seas and found them to be good - my cycles have been very regular

I'm sorry about the bfn @beachbum85
DH and I have been discussing private fertility tests. I'm going to speak to my GP once my blood tests results are in.
Trying to look onwards and upwards

Something which has been playing on my mind but I’ve been trying not to think about but is anyone concerned about conceiving with Covid-19 still being around?

I do worry a bit that if I get pregnant during this ill have to maybe tell work sooner than planned depending on their back to office plans, what happens going forward for easing lockdown, would we be allowed out? Would it be safe?

I have pregnant friends so I know prenatal care is still happening and they are doing it safely and I’ve been trying to not mention the new C word as I don’t want to make this political at all.

Thank you @CurbsideProphet
Have you already looked into the private clinics? DP and I just took a quick look and it seems like most of them are geared towards preps for IVF, and that's not the mindset I'd like to get into just yet.

@Twinkletoes85 I've been worrying about that a bit and, don't worry, it's nothing political but a valid concern in my eyes. We decided to keep trying as it's hard to see how things are going to pan out, and we don't feel like we want to put our lives on hold in the meantime. Also, my work usually involves a lot of travel so lockdown has improved our chances of being together during the FW, and we've been told that people who take public transport (like I do) can choose to work remotely for longer, so I feel like I'd be able to find a solution if I did manage to get pregnant. My main worry is that it could be a difficult pregnancy, or something major could come up (eg: ectopic pregnancy) and it would be difficult to get the required attention quickly. But, as you say, everything seems to be under control so, to me, it feels like something to worry about later since it's already hard enough TTC, but I totally understand that some may see it completely differently.

@beachbum85 we decided the same, do we want to wait and then it potentially be harder at a later date. 9 months is a long time for things to change.

Like you I’m working remotely and I’m sure I’ll be able to continue to should I need to.

It sounds like we are of the same mindset. Thank you, I feel better knowing I’m not the only one thinking it’s a concern but I still want to keep trying.

Hi ladies ! I hope you don’t mind me joining in your discussion . I’m new here .
I’m 31 and have been off the pill for about 2 years now but actively trying for 4 months.
I’m a very negative person so naturally am just thinking it’s never going to happen for us... Can’t help but think of it was going to surely it would have happened by now ?
I use clear blue ovulation tests and try to DTD before during and after ovulation . Was just wondering if you all do the same? Part of me sometimes worries I stop too soon after ovulation . I know you can only conceive around ovulation but you hear stories of people conceiving at random times of the month so makes me think am I doing the right thing .... x

Hi @bree2212 we’re you trying before 4 months ago or were you taking other precautions?

It’s a really difficult thing and sometimes it’s easier to be a bit negative to try make it easier if it doesn’t happen. There’s so much involved and so many options of help if it’s needed out there so don’t give up hope!!

Personally I’ve been using an app and trying to check cm for ovulation but some of the other ladies have been using ovulation tests. Sperm can live inside the body for up to 5 days after dtd. Your cycle length can change some months for numerous reasons so it might be those stories are people who ovulated later/earlier than they normally would?

Thanks for the reply @twinkletoes85 .We weren’t using anything before actively trying for these last 4 months .... kinda just going with the flow and hoping it would happen , which it hasn’t .
My cycles are pretty regular . Usually 28/29 days and I generally ovulate on day 14-16 of my cycle . I don’t do preg tests just wait for AF to come .
Joined this forum to read success stories mainly and to stop myself thinking so negatively ! .....
How long have you been trying? Do you take any supplements?

@bree2212 have you been to a doctor at all? One of my work friends was trying for two years decided it wasn’t happening, splashed out in a new car then fell on. There doesn’t seems to be too much rhyme or reason behind when pregnancy happens

We’ve been trying for 6 months unofficially but I was on the depo so I didn’t have a period until February. I tried for about 8 months with an ex and it didn’t happen so I’m convinced.

I’m not taking anything yet but I’ve just got some agnus castus to try.

Not been to a doctor yet ... we have decided to keep actively trying through covid and then book in to get some tests done if it hasn’t happened by then.
We were split up for 6 months during the 2 years I’ve been off the pill and there have also been periods where I was really ill (gallstones) so was unable to DTD regularly so am trying to think positively .... am hoping it will happen now we are actively trying and doing all the right things .....
I’m going to look into supps this week I think! I’ve heard about Angus castus so will look into those too

@beachbum85 I had a look to see what there is in our nearest (small) city. There is a clinic that offers fertility assessments as well as IVF. They specifically mention male and female fertility assessments for couples who have been trying unsuccessfully, but not long enough for NHS referral. I expect it's staffed by consultants from the nearby large hospital.

Hi @Bree2212 👋🏻
I don't take any supplements or use OPKs. I can tell by cm that I've ovulated. This month we'll be dtd every other day from tomorrow (day 6) until day 15 to see if that works.