Fuck you TTC

[painintheholeSIL]

Today should be day one of my period. No sign. We've been ttc dc2 since summer 2018. I don't have any tests in the house. I'm trying not to symptom spot, I haven't told anyone in real life that we're trying.
Our son is almost 4. I'm desperate to give him a sibling. I adore him. He's amazing.

But I am aching to have another baby. People keep asking when we're going to and we just laugh off the questions. They hurt. Every one of them hurts. I suppose I'm just looking for people who understand.

Every single thread I look at in relation to this ends up full of BFPs and I'm just not in the space where I can read those and not feel devastated.

So Fuck you to TTC.
Fuck you to months off slightly delayed periods
Fuck you to every fucker that asks me every time they see me if I have any news
Fuck you to the whole fucking lot of it.

Anyone care to add theirs?

So glad I found this thread today, I needed it. I'm very similar to original poster, my DD nearly 4. 10 mins ago my husband text me to say she's apparently been randomly talking about her 'baby brother' all day, and my heart just sank.

I ache for another baby and a sibling for her 😢

@Dlah I know exactly how you feel. My ds told my husband last week that he just wants someone at home to play with☹️ I just want a baby

@painintheholeSIL it's crap isn't it. I don't for one second take my beautiful daughter for granted and I'm beyond grateful to just have her but something inside me just sobs a little more each period that passes 🥺

@Dlah it is. I adore my ds and I know I'm so lucky to have him. I had a placental abruption during labour and an emcs and he had meningitis at 7 weeks. I'm so grateful for him but I just ache for another baby. It's so depressing every time my period arrives. And my cycle varies between 28-35 days so even though there's no sign today I'm not even slightly hopeful. I know I'm not pregnant.

It was one poster and it’s been deleted. I don’t think you need to worry about more horrible posts.

I reported her @PurpleDaisies. Just didn't need to read what she wrote

@CorneliusBeefington my cycles are a bit mad too but 35 is my longest, apparently that makes it normal but I really don't know. I hope you get some answers

It really pisses me off when people use infertility as a stick to beat other posters with, especially when they’re not even in the position of the people they are supposedly standing up for.

I hope they can help you with it @CorneliusBeefington. Ttc makes you so aware of everything your body does, doesn't it?

I did AS too😂😂 and I can't believe how nasty she was given that her situation is so similar to mine. And it's not as if I'm on here wringing my hands and crying. Far from it. I'm fucked off. I'm allowed to be. We all are. I have no one to discuss it with in real life so this is great for all of us. A safe way to be honest.

@PurpleDaisies I agree with you. I didn't put this in infertility because I thought that would be insensitive. I just wanted to complain a little and I know others do too. We're all struggling on our own paths.
My situation isn't harder than anyone else's. Neither is hers. It's not a competition.

It's so much nicer to be kind and supportive to other women with the same issues. That post actually made me cry

I got really pissed last night and it felt great.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and find a way to feel less fucked off!

My absolute favourite is when people tell me to be less stressed. A man recently made a sanctimonious little speech about stress and fertility and talked about resting heart rates and cortisol to me and basically said it was my fault I wasn't pregnant because I was too stressed. I said "women get pregnant in war zones, I don't think my 40 hr a week office job is the issue here".

I've found my people! TTC number 2 for over a year and not a sniff of being pregnant! DD is nearly 4 and would love a sibling. Trying not to worry each month but easier said than done!

@TigerJoy I was working today, home with my boys now, we'll have a nice chilled out evening.

@Wrigleys123 I know exactly what you mean. Ds will be 4 in April. It's hard not to obsess about it

I’ve just never understood why anyone thinks it’s ok to ask you ‘when are you going to have a baby?’ ‘You’ve been married X amount of time now are you pregnant yet’ etc . I’d never dream of asking someone , it’s so personal and you never ever know if someone is struggling, with fertility , loss, anything . My husband and I got asked every time we saw certain family members for years ‘are you pregnant yet?’ Before we’d even considered trying and felt so pressured . It’s terrible I don’t see why anyone would think it’s ok.
Sending you so much love OP, and everyone else struggling too. I wish I could click my fingers and it all be ok for you x

Fuck you people who say "at least you have your lovely daughter" ...I know we are beyond lucky to have her and she is Next Level Amazing but it does not diminish the aching for another! And FUCK YOU to the Just Relax Brigade and FUCK YOU to the circumstances that had me working full time from when DD was 8 months and the guilt and sadness I feel at having missed some precious moments with my potentially only child. Oh and fuck you Age Gap Anxiety (DD just turned 4) and a MASSIVE fuck you to being 34 with the geriatric 35 beckoning. X

@Lnix I hear you! And I'm 36🙈 fuck that too

@itsemily thank you. In really appreciate your kindness. I had another day of it at work today. "Well, any news" "anything stirring"? So hard to keep saying no, keep smiling and pretend I'm not that bothered by it. So thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them more than you know.

You’re very welcome , more people need to understand. It’s horrible having to smile and nod and pretend you’re ok with their ignorant remarks . When my husband and I were looking at the adoption process when we were told before that we ‘couldn’t possibly have children of our own’, people came out with ‘make sure you don’t look at adoption, you’ll get problem children and they’ll hate you when they get older because you won’t be their parents’ . You can’t win either way, some people are actual arseholes. And when it came out that we weren’t looking at adoption due to change in my health, everyone was like ‘you’d best get cracking ! You actual have to make a baby now not pick one from a book’ like what the fuck ?