Fuck you TTC

[painintheholeSIL]

Today should be day one of my period. No sign. We've been ttc dc2 since summer 2018. I don't have any tests in the house. I'm trying not to symptom spot, I haven't told anyone in real life that we're trying.
Our son is almost 4. I'm desperate to give him a sibling. I adore him. He's amazing.

But I am aching to have another baby. People keep asking when we're going to and we just laugh off the questions. They hurt. Every one of them hurts. I suppose I'm just looking for people who understand.

Every single thread I look at in relation to this ends up full of BFPs and I'm just not in the space where I can read those and not feel devastated.

So Fuck you to TTC.
Fuck you to months off slightly delayed periods
Fuck you to every fucker that asks me every time they see me if I have any news
Fuck you to the whole fucking lot of it.

Anyone care to add theirs?

@itsemily wow. That is shocking. People really can be so rude. I feel like no matter what we do we're never doing what others consider to be enough. I don't want to tell people that we are trying because I just feel that's too personal. So instead I have people trying to convince me that my son needs a sibling. Like they're giving me this profound knowledge and I'm so luck there kind enough to. Bonkers.

@itsemily 😲 horrific comments! How awful can people actually be?? Sending love! X

Yeeesss Fuck you TTC!

I have been trying to keep my cool too, but all I want to do is to say
FUUUCK YOU :

mthfr and pai1
endometriosis
missed miscarriage at 11 weeks
chemical pregnancies
fuck me being the only one of my friends who did not manage to keep the pregnancy
fuck the short fertility window
fuck the doctor who said if I do not "relax" I will never get pregnant :o

Hope that makes me more "relaxed"
Thank you all :)

I completely get it honestly , I genuinely would never in a million years ask someone if they’re giving their child a sibling , or are they ever going to have children, or try and tell them what they should and shouldn’t do. It’s so wrong . Especially colleagues ! You’re so bloody strong holding your head high!
@Lnix thank you, we regret even telling people what was happening as we had no support of friends with the adoption plan, and then when we were told things were changing and we told family , some of them were like ‘it wouldn’t have been a good idea anyway , you would’ve been miserable and it wouldn’t have been the same’ etc . We’ve learnt to just zip it and make friends online when we need personal chats like these ! X

Ladies,
There's some seriously sad and hard things written in this chat and you're all so strong! Much stronger than you think!
i am incredibly thankful for this thread anyway - @painintheholeSIL. It's so refreshing!!! It's probably the first time something to do with ttc has actually made me laugh. My favourite bullshit is when someone is asking how am i doing whilst clearly looking at my stomach area, trying to see if I've got news to share...fuck that! Mind your own business people!!!

Fuck you fucking fertile Myrtle, who got pregnant at the drop of a hat 5 times by accident, telling me that you count your lucky stars you have your 'bubs' as people like me make you realise how lucky you are 🖕🖕🖕

Fuck you to my fucking period. I knew I wasn't pregnant but I was starting to hope. Fuck you to getting my hopes up yet again.

@painintheholeSIL sorry to hear AF got you. I was in the exact same position last week.

Don't even remember the last time I tested as it's just not worth it anymore!

@Wrigleys123 I don't test anymore either. Somehow I don't feel as gutted when AF arrives as I do when I see the negative test.

With you on both counts OP...not testing anymore and also those late periods giving hope even when you KNOW you aren't pregnant. 🤬

@CorneliusBeefington I think I need to do the same. Lose a bit of weight and take the focus off ttc for a while. What is pre-seed?

@Lnix it is shit isn't it? Even Dh said last night maybe you're pregnant, he NEVER says anything like that. Never. I haven't told him yet that AF has arrived.

Fuck you to the 2ww symptoms being the same as aunt flo ones. And just fuck you to the 2ww. 😂🤷‍♀️

@fingerscrossed2019 🙌

Fuck you heavy period flow making me doubt whether it's actually AF or something else, given the symptoms i had recently :(

@Rybenka I hope you're ok

Thanks @painintheholeSIL. I am ok, got drunk with my colleagues on the first night of AF so that released the TTC nerves quite well :)
Unfortunately i have a couple of months of the last year when my symptoms were shouting that my body was implanting something or was pregnant... and then AF arrived, stronger than usually. I have no way of knowing what happened really. But it does feel a bit sad. So fuck that! (On the plus side, it did lead to very honest chats with my DH and that's always good).

Yes! FUCK YOU TTC

Fuck you early miscarriage
Fuck you feeling broken
Fuck you “at least you know can get pregnant even if it didn’t last”
Fuck you “it’ll happen when you relax”
Fuck you ovulation sticks
Fuck you body playing the most cruel trick and making me think I was pregnant this month
Fuck you stark white pregnancy tests
Fuck you AF which has left me in an absolute sad mess today.

And much love to each and every one of you ladies. Hugs to everyone who needs it today

@chelleF123 i can relate so much to all you've written there!!! Fuck all of it! And many hugs to you!
@CorneliusBeefington i occasionally have 1-2 heavy days in some months but it is certainly not a usual thing for me...hence i wonder what was body going through this month. I had terrible migraine, fatigue and cramps for almost 10 days before AF arrived.

And @painintheholeSIL thank you for this thread. I feel better for putting my list in. It’s pulled me out of the pity party for one I was having today.

@ChelleF123 I'm glad it has. It's shit.

@ChelleF123 posted too soon. It's nice to chat to other women who are feeling exactly the same things.

@Rybenka - sounds like a chemical pregnancy, sym I had this month, the doctor said it was not a pregnancy, but if it's not why is it called like this ughhh ;p
also the AF after this "non-pregnancy" is much more severe and I am passing tissue (sorry for the visual) and also not a thing for me in the usual cycle
Thank you for this thread @painintheholeSIL, nobody is pretending here, not common IRL