Fuck you TTC

[painintheholeSIL]

Today should be day one of my period. No sign. We've been ttc dc2 since summer 2018. I don't have any tests in the house. I'm trying not to symptom spot, I haven't told anyone in real life that we're trying.
Our son is almost 4. I'm desperate to give him a sibling. I adore him. He's amazing.

But I am aching to have another baby. People keep asking when we're going to and we just laugh off the questions. They hurt. Every one of them hurts. I suppose I'm just looking for people who understand.

Every single thread I look at in relation to this ends up full of BFPs and I'm just not in the space where I can read those and not feel devastated.

So Fuck you to TTC.
Fuck you to months off slightly delayed periods
Fuck you to every fucker that asks me every time they see me if I have any news
Fuck you to the whole fucking lot of it.

Anyone care to add theirs?

@Daffodil21 I know better than to hope. I have crap progesterone levels so spotting like this is normal for me and I know it heralds AF.
I will be vicariously hopeful for you instead!

I'm also going to add a fuck you to this thread dropping off my lists

@Peperethecat - my heart breaks for you - I hope you get a happy ending

@peach1204 - post your fur baby picture here! Stroking my cat is one of the things I do when ttc is getting me down - it's soothing and therapeutic

I'm in the 2 week but holding out little hope. I'm 40 tomorrow and have visions of my eggs turning to dust at the stroke of midnight!

@BabyMoonPie here is my boy! Took me ages to pick a photo. I've kept a count of how many I've taken in lockdown and as of day 72 I've taken 345! He's definitely a good stress reliever and is so good around children so I know will be a great big bro. Post yours too! Xxx

Oh no @Icouldstillbejoseph sorry to hear that, that must be so frustrating. Hope pretty much gone here, but thanks anyway

@Peach1204 - what a cutie for some reason I can't post photos from my phone - it says it's worked but the post doesn't appear on the thread. My boy looks exactly like Felix (as in the cat food)

@icouldstillbejoseph mine came early this cycle as well, on cd21. I'm usually 25-28 days. Every month I test early I get my period early it's like my body is conspiring against me.

@Chicasimona 👏👏👏 Every. Single. Point.

And fuck you to those who say, "it will happen" - it probably won't - it's been 28 cycles and each one feels like a bereavement.

Fuck you to giving up booze to try and help (and caffeine, and foods I love to weight), and then fuck you to all those friends giving the side glances and me having to say, 'no I'm not pregnant', and they still continue to assume.

Fuck you to covid 19, which has closed my ivf clinic weeks before I was finally due to be seen, with no route to opening, and likely another years' wait whilst I get older and my fertility/ chances rapidly decline.

Which has led to another Fuck having to move my wedding for the 2nd time due to waiting for ivf and not wanting the stress.

@BabyMoonPie ahhh cuteness! I'm so thankful for fur babies right now! Xxx

@MotherOfShihTzus I don't know what to say but wanted to reach out. I'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you. I hate the pressure from people (someone mentioned about a family trip to Disneyland in 5 years because "of course I'll have my own child/ren by then". Apparently there's some magic fucking ball that I can't see in to. I really hope the ivf clinic opens soon for you. I would hope they aren't too far behind considering pretty much everything else is. I hope you have some good news soon. Xxx

I'll add a fuck you to this dropping off my "I'm on" threads.
Fuck my sister for saying she thought I wanted loads of kids and couldn't believe I'd leave ds on his own.

Fuck her for telling me how easily she got pregnant and suggesting that it's probably Dh's "fault"

And fuck me for fucking telling her. I was doing so well keeping it to myself.

Fuck you to the photos of fucking babies on fertility things. I'm looking at you Clear Blue, Conceive Plus and Preseed

Fuck you to my period arriving again this month.

Also fuck you to having to order more fucking Pre Seed lubricant. It's not worked yet but I feel we have to keep using it because we have to do everything we can or I'll blame myself for not getting pregnant.

Oooh I remember how much I loved this thread

Fuck my body for having an ectopic in April
Fuck having to wait 3 months to try again
Fuck having the odd twinge every now and then where my ectopic was to remind me of what I lost
Fuck someone I went to college with getting pregnant and being due the same week I would have been
Fuckshitbollockswankstainarse

Feel better now.

Fuck my period being late for the first time ever and a barrage of wasted, negative tests.

Fuck it all.

Fuck my period for arriving yesterday
That is all.

Just what I needed at the moment!

Fuck the unhelpful receptionist who when OH called up today to find when he could book in a sperm test was just really rude to him and said she had no idea when they’d be doing them. I get that they’ve had to stop at the moment but she could have at least said it in a kind way and he was really upset after the call.

Fuck the girl at work who keeps talking about her plans to start her family like you can just press a button when you want a kid and one will pop out.

Fuck having no idea why it’s not happened after a year and constantly worrying that something is seriously wrong so it will never be able to happen.

Just giving all my “Fuck ttc” people a wave 👋🏻
This thread dropped off my list.

Fuck trying so fucking hard. Trying to destress and get my cycle under control.

@Yutes 👋 I'm still here too. Totally missed the window this month. Totally pissed off. Trying so hard not to stress. I'm so stressed though. I just want it to happen. I'm fucking sick of people asking me when I'm going to have another one. I wish to god I could answer it.
I hope you get your cycle under control. Fuck this whole thing. It's so unfair.

Absolutely lost my shit on a quiz tonight with my wonderful friends over points.
Fuck you TTC.
Fuck you COVID.

Peace and love to you all.

Tell people to mind their own business. Keep your efforts to conceive to yourself. Set a deadline. Enjoy the good things in your life.

I thought I was going to ovulate this cycle. But think my body has other plans

Have been feeling so low today. But this has just made me feel a bit better.

I had someone say they would of thought i would of got pregnant during quarantine... so yeah fuck you.

Had my sister ask me yesterday if im not pregnant yet, are you even trying.... fuck you

Im so fed up of doing opk's building my hopes up thinking every month is my month. Lying about not wanting another child. (DS is now 10) im just fed up and frustrated and its only cycle 7 i just wish i could go back pre ttc when I didn't have these worries.

Can't sleep due to crippling period pain so here for another rant. Fuck you to another failed month. We had sex even though it was boiling hot, it wasn't fun and was apparently a waste of time. DD heard me telling DH I was in pain and she said it's because mummy has a baby in her tummy. She's only 3 so doesn't know we're trying but she wants a sibling and it breaks my heart that she's going to be an only child

@BabyMoonPie we have similar conversations here and it kills me too.

Would anybody here know where 5mg folate/folic acid can be purchased online?