Fuck you TTC

[painintheholeSIL]

Today should be day one of my period. No sign. We've been ttc dc2 since summer 2018. I don't have any tests in the house. I'm trying not to symptom spot, I haven't told anyone in real life that we're trying.
Our son is almost 4. I'm desperate to give him a sibling. I adore him. He's amazing.

But I am aching to have another baby. People keep asking when we're going to and we just laugh off the questions. They hurt. Every one of them hurts. I suppose I'm just looking for people who understand.

Every single thread I look at in relation to this ends up full of BFPs and I'm just not in the space where I can read those and not feel devastated.

So Fuck you to TTC.
Fuck you to months off slightly delayed periods
Fuck you to every fucker that asks me every time they see me if I have any news
Fuck you to the whole fucking lot of it.

Anyone care to add theirs?

Fuck you to four losses in less than a year.

Fuck you to seeing everyone around us get pregnant instantly and give birth to healthy babies nine months later when we are back to square -38 and are losing hope of ever having our own family.

Fuck you to my slightly-shitter-than-average-for-my-age FSH and AMH scores.

Fuck you to all the money I'm spending on vitamins which won't make any difference because my eggs are clearly crap.

I’m so sorry everyone. Thinking of you all. I see you. You are heard. And it is all shit.

Hi everyone!

I'm new to the forum and have come across this thread and all I can say is I'm in the same boat and honestly, Fuck you to it all!!!!

Sending everyone lots of love xx

@Icouldstillbejoseph

I feel this!!!

@peperethecat I feel you. 38, slightly more shit FSH then I should have and taking about 7 vitamins a day which might be forcing my body to get pregnant but with a crap egg that won't ever develop properly.

FU when people aren’t ‘actively trying to conceive’.... and still manage to bloody conceive! 😑

Yesterday and today I have found out about colleagues pregnancies. Today my period started. We're moving on to month 17 of TTC and I've fucking well had enough. There's not enough wine in the world to drown my sorrows tonight.

Just saw this thread!
F you to the 'last bump pic' thread on social media 🤦

Hi everyone - sending love to you all. Is it me or are there SO MANY people getting pregnant/announcing it at the moment? I'm so happy for them but it's eating me up inside ☹️☹️☹️

Yup, everybody is getting pregnant and every time it seems I have a weird cycle, I keep thinking that's it, it's me now, it's gonna happen to me... Nope, it's not, so fuck you TTC (for the last 3 years ) My cycles are so regular, I swear could tell the exact hour the witch is showing.... Again fuck you ttc
Sending loads of love to all of you

Fuck this irregular period crap!

Fuck my fucking SIL who just rang to tell DH that she's pregnant again.
I'm so sad. I had to lock myself in the bathroom to cry.
Fuck this shit. I'm so fucking sick of it.

@painintheholeSIL sending love to you ❤️

@Hannahb26 Thank you.

@PainintheholeSIL much love and understanding from me too
It's the shittiest feeling

@Icouldstillbejoseph Thank you. I appreciate the support here more than I can say. It's so hard. I don't really have anyone apart from DH to talk to about it in real life.

Hi, can I join, please? We have not been trying (and failing) for long (6 months) but the craziness has already kicked in. I spent the last week or so feeling my boobs every 10 min and they did feel sore (or that might have been the result of my throbbing ). Also had some pink spotting on Monday/Tuesday.
Now, I had cramps and brown spotting today (first time) and I took an early test (period due in two days): negative.

So fuck you symptom spotting, turned me into a crazy person all for nothing.

Hi @CatApostrophe I know how you feel, it drives you crazy. My period was due yesterday. No sign yet. Boobs are a little sore. They'd usually be killing me a week before but not this month. Just tender since yesterday. I'm praying it won't come but I just know it will.
This is shit. You have my absolute sympathy . We all understand.

Fuck you day 34. No sign of af.
Sore boobs all week. fuck them too. Gave in this morning and went to town at 8am to buy a pregnancy test. BFN. Fuck that too. I feel sick. My boobs are killing me, no sign of a period and the test clearly said not pregnant.
I give up.

I wonder if I am still welcome here as I got a BFP 5 days ago. After a year of TTC.

Anyway I'm here to say more fuck yous to it all as I'm sat here cramping, sulking and spotting.
I knew it was too good to be true. Part of me is just happy enough to have finally seen 2 fucking stupid lines. But I knew it wouldn't bloody last. Fucking stupid ttc. Fucking stupid hope. Fuck off.

Thank you - feel better now.

@Icouldstillbejoseph of course you are. I don't really know what to say to you except that I'm sorry. It's so shit. And to get a bfp and have it taken away. That's just awful.

Thanks @PainintheholeSIL I think the joy was nice for a few days. I can go back to hating TTC now. I'm used to that!

@PainintheholeSIL did AF finally arrive for you?

@Icouldstillbejoseph yep, on day 36. I feel like my cycle is all over the place but apparently it's normal, whatever that is!

@PainintheholeSIL don't want to sound like a raging, bra-burning feminist but that's probably 'normal' defined by a man.