40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

[ababsurdum]

Shiny new thread. Here's the link to the previous one.

Hi everyone! waves I lurk on this thread a fair bit but I have to say I am fast losing hope. Had a private appointment & my AMH is very low - 0.7. Consultant said it was very unlikely I can conceive. Devastating. I am however struggling to make sense of this test result. A previous progesterone test, & a couple of ultrasounds, & my own intuition, suggest I ovulate. Perhaps not every month but a fair bit. There is no link between AMH & ovulation... but why are consultants in clinics so fixated on it? Anyone else had any experience with AMH tests??

Hi all.

Bloop, it sure about ov pains on both sides. Something to do with the impact of the LH surge maybe...?

Mowley, Sorry, I don't think I understand the AMH thing either. I don't think it means you're not ovulating monthly. I think its more to do with your long term egg reserves. From what I've read, it says nothing about egg quality, so someone with a low AMH could still have a healthy pregnancy. It only takes one good egg.

Also, AF showed up unfashionably on-time (back to a 28 day cycle now, apparently...) so I'm ready to start stabbing myself with needles tomorrow night! Any tips from the IVF veterans would be much appreciated!

AMH thing is a nightmare - I understand it relates to ovarian reserve & that it means I do not have many eggs left. (I had chemo 5 years ago, likely it fried my follicles) BUT if I am still ovulating & I have perhaps a few good quality eggs left why are my chances of conceiving still nil? Rhetorical question really, because the more you go into detail, the less clear the answers are! I think the real answer is that much of this is a mystery, & even specialists do not know & cannot predict what is going to happen to each individual.

MrFuzzyGreen good luck with the needle stabbing !

Mowley I don't think it's fair of them to make sweeping statements about your chances based on one test. The forums are full of women who conceived with levels lower than yours. As you rightly say, as long as you are ovulating now, it's entirely possible that you will get pregnant.

The FS we saw a couple of weeks ago made the sweeping statement that our 3 mcs this year were due to my deteriorating eggs. While that might be true, he can't possibly know that for sure, as none of them were tested. I think on reflection that he was being very 'black & white' in his approach. If he thought that I had absolutely no good eggs left, why did he recommended ivf with my own eggs? Why not go straight to donor? It's a private clinic, so they only recommend treatments that have a reasonable chance of not ruining their stats!

I've also read online that AMH is pretty much irrelevant in natural fertility terms, and that regular cycles & ovulation are more important. In ivf terms I think it's more relevant as it helps them to adjust your stimulation drugs.

Hi all,
I've been using the 35+ thread, but then I realised that I should come in here instead as I am 40 now (OMG!).
We've only just started ttc recently. I stopped taking the pill last year December but this is the third month of me BBT charting and us doing it like bunnies on the important days.
So far, nothing happened but I am still slightly hopeful this month as it is DPO12 and my temp is still up and even looks triphasic to me.

Hi Mare & good luck. FuzzyGreen I think you've hit the nail on the head re: sweeping statements. & to be careful of private clinics & their motivations re: their own stats. Drs definitely see things in B&W. Good point that some things important to IVF protocols are not relevant to natural fertility. I am going to buy some supplements & keep trying for a few months in a deluded way Back up plan is frozen embryos made with donor sperm (before I met my DF) created pre-chemo. But DF feels quite negatively about those. It's a weird complex thing. ah well PMA eh

Wow, lots going on.

wiltingfast I'm sorry for your losses . I've been taking 200mg of ubiquinol (though not last month). I know It starts with the egg recommends more. I use powdered maca in smoothies and I'm taking Wellwoman Max, recently switched from Wellwoman Conception. I've taken various other things this time and back when I was ttc ds but I'm not convinced they're helping so I've backed off a bit.

FetchezLaVache I think it's normal for cycles to become more irregular in your early to mid 40's, mine certainly has. If you're still having a period and are ovulating (check by using opk's and/or temping) then you're in with a chance. Wishing you lots of luck.

Bloop I'm loving Nando's menopause

Alibaba2 no idea re. tests as I've not seen the gp about it since I first started ttc ds aged 40 and saw a very unsympathetic (female) GP. We paid for a private semen analysis and AMH test then private ivf but I've conceived twice since then - only 1 dc though.

Clara101 it sounds like days 11-15 are the most important for you to dtd. At the moment I'm getting most ewcm ahead of ovulation too. I'm on cd10 today and got the first yesterday. I think it a sign of increasing oestrogen.

Caprimulgus I'm sorry for your losses . Hopefully your GP can advise. Do you have the funds to see a private consultant? I say this as you will likely get advice faster and time is of the essence at our age. GP's are normally not fertility experts and can often be unhelpful. I'm a year older than you and my cycles are definitely more erratic. If your last period was July are you definitely not pg?

Bloop it's possible you ovulated twice?

Mowly75 people on this thread have got pg with low AMH results. It's a measure of future reserve but if you're ovulating now there's still a chance. Lifestyle and diet (including supplements) may help with egg quality - many of us have read It starts with the egg. Wishing you the best of luck.

mare1976 sounds promising for this month, fingers crossed for you.

Fuzzy best of luck with the injections. When is your first monitoring scan? I don't have much advice I'm afraid as I didn't find it too bad really. Sending all positive vibes to you.

Thanks ababsurdum. I have funds, yes. Oh and a period, yesterday, hurray!

Because I've had no trouble conceiving to date, I'm clueless about aids to ovulation or conception and would welcome any suggestions.

I feel I've arrived at the asking for help stage perhaps too late e.g. I wondered if any good eggs could be harvested, identified and fertilised in vitro but, at my age and stage I think 'normal IVF' would use donor eggs. I'm just looking for a way to expedite the search for a good egg of my own.

More than anything else, I feel, MCs just take up so much time (mine have all been before 12 weeks, so I've been able to put them down to defective eggs / meiosis and accept them as unviable). All the while the remaining good eggs are deteriorating and might never find their way out if my oestrogen drops and periods fizzle out.

So I wondered about IVF and also about using drugs that promote ovulation - with the idea that if a few eggs are released at once, at least one might be good. But I've no idea how that works, or what happens if more than one is fertilized and some then miscarry.

Or, what? Apart from carrying on carrying on.

Caprimulgus I have been taking Maca Root and Agnus Castus for the last month, which are both supposed to aid ovulation.

What I can say after the month (bit TMI)
I had a serious itch during ovulation which according to google can be a sign of thyroid and hormone imbalance. The itch has vanished since I've been taking those two.
Also, my temperatures were all over the place after ovulation. I've attached this month's BBT, and it's a bit of a thing of beauty.

So I am not sure yet if they will help me conceive, but I believe they have definitely done something for my wellbeing already.

I am taking Agnus Castus from first day of my cycle to close to ovulation, Maca through the whole cycle. You can get both on Amazon, at Boots or H&B.

Capri your chart looks lovely! Very much like the one & only month I could be bothered with the faff of temping, and I got a bfp that month (early mc).

I've gone down the ivf route for all of the reasons you state. I lost my son in November 2015, & started ttc in January. Had a mc in Feb. Another one in March. Nothing in April, but pregnant again in May, which ended in a D&C at the 9w mark in June. Took a month off ttc to let my lining build up again, but then had 2 wacky cycles with no bfps. Last cycle was honestly the first normal 28 day cycle I've had since January, all because the recurrent mcs keep buggering everything up. No bfp though. With a house full of toys & baby stuff & an empty child's bedroom, I just can't stand waiting indefinitely in the hope that we'll catch a good egg, while mc after mc loses us more time and causes more heartache.

So, I decided enough was enough. We've paid a LOT of money, but having all the tests done privately means that it's all happened within days. I had my consultation Thursday before last, and I start my ivf protocol tonight. They are going to use preimplantation genetic screening if they can get at least one good embryo, to do everything possible to avoid more mcs. If they can get more than one good emby, then I'll keep having them implanted until one sticks. If all else fails, I'll use donor eggs.

Most clinics prefer to implant one emby at a time to avoid the risks of multiple pregnancy. We have pre-paid for a package where we get as many frozen embryo transfers as we need, before starting the whole cycle again if we run out.

If you have the funds, it's well worth looking into. Since our consultation, my stress levels have gone down considerably. I feel like I have some control, and everything that can be done is being done. Our GP is lovely and very sympathetic. She did home visits after Billy-Joe died and came to his funeral. But they are SO limited with what they can offer.

The recurrent miscarriage clinic couldn't be more useless - I went today to pick up my sticky blood results, after 2 months of waiting, to be told that there was a lab error and they need to be done again! Even if I get them back before the date of my transfer, they won't print them out for me to give to the private clinic due to 'patient confidentiality'. I pointed out that I AM the patient, but apparently that isn't good enough!!! Ffs!!! So basically the private clinic will be repeating them for me anyway.

I wish I could afford to go private for everything! I've been getting emails from nurses asking me if there's anything they can do to help, and phone calls just to see how I'm feeling! Compare that to the good ole NHS!

ababs my first monitoring scan is on Saturday morning. I'm not worried about the jabs. A few seconds of pain is nothing after everything we've been through. How are you?

I'm good thanks Fuzzy, on cd10 today. I went to Wilco's this morning and bought 2 packs of 5 dip opk's and 2 mid-stream pg tests for about £3:60. Hopefully they will work ok. I think we will see how this cycle goes and then discuss whether we want any intervention. This month it's a year since my mc. We've been trying again since the end of last year with no success.

You're lucky that you don't have to down reg. I had to down reg for three weeks for my ivf and it made me incredibly thirsty and I slept quite badly. Otherwise I had no issues, hopefully you will be the same.

Pies I hope that you are ok.

ababs - well you know eggs are like busses, none for ages then three come along at once... oh god could you imagine having three at once? /shudders/

Mr fuzzy - if you don't mind me asking, what's the package deal all about? How does it work ? Is that more expensive than a straightforward IVF thing. While I'm skint and have no hope of affording IVF if I win the lottery tomorrow night ;)

Hi Bloop - I don't mind at all! Ask anything you like! It's a multi cycle package, which gives you 2 fresh rounds of IVF with ICSI plus as many frozen embryo transfers as you need. It also includes CareMaps (embryoscope timelapse imaging), embryoglue and 1 year of frostie storage. At our clinic, one lot of basic IVF is over £3K, but with all the add-ons it's the best part of £6-7K. The muti-cycle is £7,900, so it was a bit of a no-brainer. We've paid extra for the preimplantation genetic screening. All courtesy of the Bank of Dad. We'll be paying him back forever!!!!

Good luck ababs. Hope this is your month! I did my jabs. Honestly, I don't know what all the fuss is about!

Thank you MrFuzzyGreen and mare1976 those are exactly the things I wanted to know. I'll look up those supplements and local IVF clinics. I'll see what happens this cycle and talk to the GP - though I realise I'm too old for fertility treatments on the NHS, so its more about getting their opinion.

Good luck Capri. If you decide to look further into assisted fertility, I would recommend finding a good IVF clinic that's not too far from home, as you'll be going for a LOT of appointments, and then book onto one of their patient information events. Ours was in the evening so DH didn't lose time at work, and it's free so you don't lose anything if it's not right for you. You can go with a raft of questions for the consultants, nurses & embryologists. Ours were incredibly helpful. We are using Care, and honestly the only criticism I have of them is that I sometimes can't get through to anyone on the phone and it goes to voicemail.

Three babies at once Bloop? Shuddering here too. Friends of ours had b/g twins the second time round. It was very hard work for them.

Glad you've started Fuzzy, it makes it all real doesn't it?

Cd11 today, more ewcm. Need to dtd again tonight.

Hi all, I'm coming out of lurking to join you.

I'm ttc #1 at the grand old age of 43 (aaargh). I've had my AMH tested at 9.6," which I gather is about average for my age. HSG showed that both tubes are blocked but the consultant didn't seem bothered. In his words "you don't need good tubes." We have an appointment to see a fertility consultant in a couple of weeks and will take it from there.
Lots of positivity on this thread which shines through heartbreaking experiences.

Hi All

Thanks for the kind thoughts, Ababs. I'm doing okay. I had an unpleasant couple of hours when I passed the pregnancy, so I didn't need a procedure. So that was lucky, in the midst of a crappy situation. I'm regrouping at the moment. Good luck for a good egg this cycle!

fuzzy exciting times! Fingers crossed for the first go at IVF.

Mowly sorry that you got such a discouraging message from the doctor. I agree with fuzzy that s/he wasn't really in a position to make such a sweeping statement, just like fuzzy's shouldn't have said her m/c were all down to eggs. There's simply no way to know.

That's a good looking ovulation chart, Mare.

Bloop I'm so sad that three babies sounds good to me! Obviously, DH would have to give up work to look after them, while I waltz off to have a lovely coffee in the office and pee on my own every day.

Capri in my previous successful pregnancy I took dhea and CoQ10. This time I'mnot as I'm still breastfeeding my son.

Hooji I've no idea about AMH levels, but I'm older than you are, so I hope it's not too late for us!

Sorry to those I've missed - can only see the most recent page on my phone. Glad to see that so many of us oldies are still managing to get some sex.

Pies I'm glad that you're doing ok, such a horrible thing . Great that you didn't need any intervention. I hope things settle down quickly for you.

Welcome Hoojimmaflip, how long have you been ttc. Odd to say you don't need good tubes, you really do unless you're doing ivf. I hope your consultation goes well and they can offer some options for you.

I'm cd13 today and fairly certain I ovulated last night. I didn't catch a positive opk, yesterday morning's had a line but the one I took last night barely did. I had ovulation pain on the L side though and boobs sore today. I think if I'd done an opk the evening of cd11 I may have seen a positive. Cd12 is early for me but I've had a couple of 24 day cycles this year already. Annoyingly we didn't dtd on cd11 as was too tired (thanks ds!) but dtd last night which will have to do.

So I'm 1dpo already. Wasn't expecting to be in the tww yet.

Thanks Ababs, I think (hope) he was trying to be reassuring. I am almost resigned to ivf at this stage, we'll make a decision after the consultant appointment. Unfortunately this does mean I've become rather lax about when we dtd. We've been trying since Feb 16 without a sniff of a BFP so blocked tubes makes sense. No NHS funding for an old bird like me so am currently researching ivf clinics, just in case.