Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

Hello just to let you all know my test was negative just as I thought. Thank you all, but I just dnt wanna be a bother to you all. You are such amazing ladies. Xx

Kerrie, my heart goes out to you

Be kind to yourself and DH, and please don't feel you can't stay with us for support. You are't bothering us, and this lot are really the most fantastic support crew you could ever ask for, if you feel you need them

So sorry to hear that kerrie and all the stuggles you are having. We are here if you need us, it isn't a bother to hold a hand during these tough times. The amazing berries are my one and only infertility silver lining.

Strength to all other PUPO ladies. This is the hardest part, am thinking of you all and cheering you on.

Will update properly later - have a presentation to finalise by 11 - argh!

Aww Kerrie I'm so sorry, it's so shit. You're really no bother so please check in with us as and when you need to/want to.

Rain good for you holding out, I still don't know what to do testing wise. Fx and pom-poms a go go for Friday.

sesame how did you get on? I hope you're feeling ok and everything went well.

Happy Sesame thanks, I am taking it roughly around the same time each day but am def not as strict as with injecting! Happy hope all is well with you too.

Spare what a nightmare! I wish we could see what was going on in our wobbles.

Hmm glass wombles. With fivers in them.

Ffs this phone!! *wombles

Beaky I know I'm going to cave early!
I'm half tempted to bin all the tests to remove the temptation, because otherwise I'll start 3 days early and that never ends well...

Spare I've spent the last 45 mins googling early testing/implantation etc etc. arghh someone should disable my internet.

Bad news from me this morning. I've had to cancel my cycle as my follie disappeared before ec. Fortunately they picked this up this time before theatre... Every cloud.... Back at home now.

Oh no Sesame so sorry to hear that. Do you know how that's happened or were they unsure? Big hug

Thanks beaky, they said it looks like I've already ovulated.

Oh sesame, that is shit news. Big hugs.
Will they change the protocol next time? Can you go straight onto the next cycle?

Thanks spare, they said I can change protocol next time if I want to. I didn't ask about starting again straight away as I'm not sure yet if that's what I want to do. I need to think through all the options myself now. I've also booked in for a follow up consult in a couple of weeks time.

After having my heart torn up from my negative test I come in to work today with someone bragging that another colleague is pregnant. . Some people literally just look at a man and get pregnant. Cruel world. My weekend is going to consist of lots of

It's always the way, Kerrie
A friend sent me a text last night to let me know a mutual friend is pregnant again. The father of her first was a one night stand she met in a club. She doesn't know his name and hasn't seen him since. The father of her second is someone she had a fling with. They've already split up. There is no fairness in this world!
Enjoy your wine and have an extra glass for all us PUPOs!

kerrie and sesame I'm so sorry

They got married on the weekend. Only been together a year wasn't even trying. And ladies DONT TEST EARLY because it will stress you out more than you already are and cause unnecessary upset. I speak from experience. Much love to you all. sorry if this posts twice.

I'm new to Mumsnet and I need to vent?? can I?? I don't understand all of this?? will I learn?? I need to vent...

Sending much love to you both sesame and kerry, it's the absolute fucking pits.

Just about hanging on by a thread now. I feel very AF-y, sort of heavy and achey. No 'positive' symptoms at all. I had mega achey boobs from EC until about 4 or 5 days ago, which have totally disappeared. Bit weird as obviously I am still taking the progesterone, wondering if that was a long lingering side effect of the trigger? Anyway, really trying not to obsess, but it's SO BLOODY HARD. I am preparing myself for the worst, but hoping for the best. Did a bit of research into nice holidays in Mexico at lunch, so if the worst comes to be there will be a consolation prize. But I don't want to go to Mexico really, I want a baby dammit!

Hope our other PUPOs are coping ok, and that everyone else is good too!

So sorry sesame and kerrie - totally shit

Ahh Sesame that's shit. Massive hug. I hope your consultation is useful in terms of planning ahead.

Kerrie what a kick in the teeth, so sorry that must be unbelievably hard for you right now.

Rain keeping everything crossed and well done for holding out. I really hope your don't get to book that holiday! Are you testing at home on Friday or is it a blood test at your clinic? I don't know what to do. I was quite chilled until this morning when I couldn't get off Dr Google looking up when was ok to test. Need to do some meditation.

Speaking of which, tiger I was trying to discretely listen to the implantation track the other night when I couldn't sleep, and didn't realise the volume on my phone was right up, so "WELCOME TO IMPLANTATION" came blasting out in the dead of night and woke dh up! He didn't have a clue what was going on. The next day my phone must've linked to the Bluetooth in the car instead of his and "so now your embryos are safely on board" came out of the radio haha. What an eejit. at least he thought it was funny.

Hi Coco if you meet the criteria to join us (which is set out at the start of this thread) let us know and fill us in on your ttc stats please!

Hope everyone else is doing ok at the mo.

Sorry it was bad news sesame and kerrie

To all the PUPOs, hang in there, it's tough but it's time for another cluster diff.

barking, I'm totally up for a second cluster diff although mine won't be a ironidiff whilst DH is overseas. Still we have a plan now, new consultant has agreed that we freeze a sample and go ahead next cycle.

Right, iPad is barely working so I'm off.

Berries, I'm bloody exhausted
I haven't had a proper nights sleep since transfer day, because I've alternated waking up and trying to feel for any twinges, or gone to sleep and had really vivid dreams about testing, getting a bfp, getting a bfn, going for a scan, knowing I'm pregnant, knowing I'm not pregnant, telling DH I'm pregnant, telling DH I'm not pregnant.

I think I'm going to have to go for a nap later on..!

How is everyone else?

Hello spare, I was exactly the same. I didn't even sleep well last night mainly due to really bad cramps. Hang in there I have everything crossed for you all something good has to happen. my dh and I had a tearful chat yesterday and he actually opened up to me, he does really still want a baby he just don't want me getting bad again. So we decided together to try something different. Anyone had iui with diner sperm?

seasame/barking/beaky thanks for the advice on supplements, really appreciated. will be ordering some later on today.

seasame so sorry your cycle was cancelled with the fc...hope you are okay.

kerrie so sorry to hear about your bfn, hope you are holding up okay (sounds good that you and your dh were able to talk some of this through.

PUPO ladies thinking about you all...hope the symptom spotting isn't driving you totally insane.

beaky your "welcome to implantation" and "so now your embryos are on board" comments, made me laugh out loud at work...got some very strange looks, as office was silent

minx my house isn't quite "magazine ready", but I am very proud of it (esp. as I decorated a lot of it, before I started studying interior design...and turns out I got a lot of it right naturally). hoping to move house soon, as need a new project to get my teeth into.

I'm getting really nervous for the rest of the PUPO berries now.

Rain, really hoping you don't get to go on that nice holiday in Mexico, how's it going? Do you pimp tomorrow or go in for a blood test?

spare sorry about all the vivid dreams keeping you awake. The 2ww is just so anxiety ridden. That sounds really knackering. Just a few more days left now though and I totally have my fingers crossed for you.

beaky Loved the car radio welcoming the embryos on board! If you're obsessing a bit about when to test, have you seen the hcg doubling calculator? It gives you an idea about when you might see your bfp, depending on which day your embies might have implanted.

minx how about you, how are you feeling? Do you have any symptoms?

barking how's it going with the testing? Do you have to go back to the fc? When do you get the results?

kuma glad you have a plan for getting diffed while dh is away. Can I ask you a question about natural cycle? I'm still actively thinking about this as an option. Did you do this totally without drugs, or were there some drugs to regulate your cycle? I'm worried about the ovulating early thing, do they do anything to stop this from happening?

happy when is your antagonist protocol due to start? Have they given you info about your protocol, or do you wait for baseline scan? Do you know if they start you on a natural cycle or put you on bc first?

Kerrie if you're thinking donor as an option, you might want to look at the donor conception network. There are some really good resources there and I think some case studies that make a good read. I think for IUI at your age, the success rates per cycle would probably be good and you might have the opportunity to do a natural cycle, so drug free. There would still be the same anxiety over the 2ww (as for IVF) and there may still be a risk of mc. Will you have a follow up at the clinic after your failed FET? Perhaps you could ask about it then?

I'm feeling ok right now after the shock of yesterday. I'm just a bit worn down and also a little uncomfortable after the hcg trigger shot. Like rain, I just want a baby dammit! I don't want any of this other shit. And I really hoped I would be much further forward. All the positivity I previously had around 'getting pregnant' before, and that it 'just needs to stick' next time, is starting to drain. There are so many options and next steps to think through and I'm feeling the time pressure once again. I will probably post more about this for some wise berry advice.