Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

I think this is right....!

Runners and riders list

PUPO
Kerrie - otd 9/9
Rain - otd 11/9
Spare - otd 16/9
Beaky - otd 17/9
Minx - otd 18/9

Stimming
Sesame - currently stimming on short flare IVF
Clem - currently underway with third round of clomid

In the paddock
Happy - starting sp IVF next cycle
Tiger - going for bloods etc at new clinic hoping for cancellation to start IVF asap
Funky - awaiting natural fet in around October/November
Barking - having immune testing done prior to LP IVF in October/November
Nolly - awaiting IVF start date
Lumen - currently undergoing immunes treatment before final IVF cycle
Kuma - awaiting next cycle to begin natural cycle IVF
Smidge - deciding between new or old clinic which will decide whether this is a short or long protocol round
Lucie - awaiting next cycle for a further sp IVF banking cycle

Pip - best in show, as always

Evening ladies. Welcome Kerrie. So sorry you find yourself here - it sounds like you've really been through it. Fx this is it for you.
Rain I agree with Sesame. I'd wait until 11dp3dt which would be equivalent to 14dpo - I'm sure that you'd get an accurate result by then. My clinic sets OTD as 14dp5dt which is ridiculous - I've never held out that long!
Quick question ladies - anyone know what happens with relation to OV/AF when you abandon a cycle? I'd done 10 days of stimms and was on cd12 the last time I stabbed. Would I just go ahead and OV or would the follie just die? Just trying to work out if AF is going to rock up on time so I can start sorting things out work wise for my cycle. I forgot to ask at the FC but the fact that they've booked me in for baseline on what would normally be cd1 or 2 next week suggests they expect things to carry on as normal, non?
Hope everyone has had a good weekend - think I'm just coming down with my annual back to school lurgy - great!

happy I'd think you would probably ov still, so hopefully af will rock up soon so you can get going again.

Happy I would have thought you'll ovulate roughly as normal (though potentially with more than one egg released? Who knows). Although my cycles are always haywire after the downreg drugs, whenever I've done an OPK it still shows I ovulate (I just then spot for about 14 days before my normal AF).

Sesame I'm still not sure what to do! I think I will probably stick with AliG and trust the embryologist that the longer down reg cycle is a better bet. Though having just put that to paper so to speak, I'm now already wavering thinking what if.. Gah! Decisions are not good for the stress levels.

I would like to follow the Prof's suggestions for progesterone support though. I may have to fork out for another session with AliG to state what I want to happen. I suppose though if we do a freeze all (any) cycle then I can wait to have that discussion.

I have to say berries that this is the first time I have totally felt like putting off the decision, and ignoring it. Until now I've always been racing ahead to try again. Do you think this is the start of the grieving / giving up process? I don't feel any less keen on actually having a baby, and no less upset if I think about life without one, but I just feel very head in the sand about doing something about it.

I'm on day 3 of my cycle so if we start downregging this month I probably need to call the clinic to let them know!

Can't believe how many PUPO berries there are! I'm quite nervous for you all, which is making my PUPO dance a bit clumsy. But perhaps it'll lead to some new funky moves (I don't specifically mean funky moves) that will change the game for the better.

sesame thinking of you today, hope it goes OK.

smidge I don't think wanting to NOT thinking about this shit is necessarily a sign of giving up. This crap is HARD and mentally/physically exhausting. It's no wonder sometimes we have to retreat a bit for self-preservation. I hope you're feeling a bit more on top of the situation soon, till then.

keri do you have a known cause for your infertility? I really hope these last couple of days wait are kind to you. Will you be testing early?

beaky no specific reason, but i just feel 'normal'. I have all the side effects that go along with the progesterone supplements, which obviously can be symptoms of pg, but I just don't have a positive feeling at the moment. Last week I had various twinges/crampy feelings etc but nothing for the last few days. One of my usual AF symptoms started yesterday (really hard to describe, sort of like a mild thrush type sensation internally). In two minds about testing early still - mainly to do with coping at work.

How are the rest of you PUPOs doing?

Hey ladies. Just waiting for my ORT scan. Am ridiculously early because I had to get bloods done and there was no queue! It is absolutey packed in the FC though, standing room only.

smidge I don't think it is necessarily a sign of giving up that you don't want to think about it, I agree with rain, it is just exhausting and relentless and sometimes we need a break. Also I think it is especially hard because you are trying to make a decision where it is impossible to know how it will effect the outcome - I mean, you know that you are choosing between two different treatment protocols/clinics/doctors but I guess it feels like you are trying to choose between two paths without knowing if your baby is at the end of one. Total head fuck if ever there was one. Whatever you choose will be right, and going with feeling is as good as anything to make the decision. Good luck.

rain I'm sorry you're not feeling too hopeful but I'm still keeping everything crossed for you. I would have to test early - I am too inpatient. Although it was heartbreaking I'm glad I did and picked up my chemical pregnancy.

beaky a walk along the beach and chips sounds lovely! How are you feeling? I am perfecting my Beyonce moves to cheer you on! Hoping and hoping that this is it for you. My weekend was fine, having friends to stay was lovely, their three year old was a handful but fun. Only one awkward moment at the Christening when we were asked by friend's dad whether we had kids and were told 'we had better get on with it' when we said no. Yeah, cheers for that. Been getting on with it for almost three years actually, included a failed round of IVF - WHAT THE FUCK ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!. Obviously just smiled and changed the subject.

sesame hoping for good news for you today.

happy hope you're surviving the lurgi and being back at school. I think it's hard to say whether or not you will ovulate, but hope your cycle goes back to normal asap.

On to part two of my update as I had to go drop my knickers for the ORT. Have a good number of follicles on each side: 10 on the left and 7 on the right. So all looks good. Interestingly he mentioned adenomyosis (sp?) as apparently my womb lining is embedded in the muscles in places, which is why I get very heavy and painful periods. Well hallelujah, after almost 4 years of investigations this is the FIRST time anyone has mentioned this - and I had scans to check this out before even starting ttc. Apparently it doesn't affect fertility though....hmmm. Anyway, all in all a much better experience than the first appointment - the doc was nice and very informative. Next step is booking in the dummy transfer and a 3d salinogram (or something like that - I think I might be making the names of things up this morning!)

spare how are you feeling?

minx hope you're doing ok and the new job is going well.

Kerri welcome. I hope this is a brief stop over for you.

Hope everyone else is ok!

tiger That is great news on the follie count, and also the diganosis! How frustrating it has taken this long. When I went for my scratch before my first cycle, the doctor said 'Oh, you've got a tilted uterus. You must get quite bad period pains, and digestive issues'. It was a revelation! One that god knows how many GPs had missed over the years though.
I'm feeling ok. Bloody knackered because I woke up in the night and lay there for what felt like an eternity trying to symptom spot and then getting upset when I couldn't feel any. Please god can this not be the next 10 nights..!

smidge They say a rest is as good as a change... Can't blame you at all for wanting a break. This whole thing is a relentless bloody treadmill and sometimes you need to step off it...

sesame Good luck with the scan

Morning ladies- another sleepless night. Had a day out at a food festival and then to Barry beach yesterday with my hubby. It was lovely and it took my mind off things for a bit.

Rain - the fertility problem lies with my husband low s/c and immobile.

Sparkle - being on here is actually the best part of the 2ww. I felt so alone, my husband is a great support but he don't quite understand how it feels from our point of view. Not his fault I know.

Beaky - no testing for m/c the first one 7w I was in a bad relationship and was drinking a lot. So my own fault I regret deeply.
2 was like 5w and thew docs said it's just one of those things all natural pregnancies. And the last was fet told the embossjust stopped growing. .

Happy - thank you for your support I also hope this is it but I'm really not to sure.

Tiger - I like talking about it to you all and the support is overwhelming, but the short Satyam would be great if it meant having my miracle.

I hope all of you get the resullts you hope for and deserve. There is no worst sistuation to be in right now. I also get asked if we have kids and to better hurry up . I feel like shaking them . Seeing people with baby's or being pregnant reaaly feels like a stab in the heart. I want to be locked in the tower likes sleeping beauty until my life passes me by.

beaky that’s a brilliant runners and riders list, thank you! How are you feeling right now?

happy, I agree with the others that you would probably ovulate and then af would arrive as normal. After you stopped the agonist, there’s nothing to stop you producing your natural LH surge, which should trigger ovulation. However, it’s not necessarily a 100% cert so I would suggest trying to manage a bit of flexibility if you can, just in case af is delayed by a few extra days. Hope you feel better soon.

smidge I’m sorry you feel that way right now. I think it happens to us all. I had a moment between my first failed cycle and af arriving to start my second. I felt such huge relief when I made the decision to postpone till the next cycle. If you don’t feel quite ready, would it be possible for you to wait and start next month? Also, rather than pay for another consultation, could you possibly email the fc, asking for your question to be forwarded on to Ali G? It might be worth a shot.

rain when I got my bfp I didn’t have any symptoms, I just felt normal. Just saying…

tiger sorry about the random comment at the christening. Glad your appt went ok, what does ORT stand for? Also, any luck chasing down a cancellation?

Kerrie I would push for repeat mc investigations, if I were you. 1 mc might not be unusual, but 4 mcs in a row is, and I don’t think any should be dismissed as just one of those things. But fingers crossed you get your sticky bfp and it won’t come to that.

Scan this morning revealed one big follie, which has appeared completely out of nowhere and my lining has thickened up too. I'm not really sure how that is even possible, given I was told to cancel on Friday. That would explain the symptoms over the weekend. I’m waiting for the clinic to call back with the blood results now and to see if they think I should proceed to EC. I’m feeling pretty nervous about the speed this follie developed, and I’m very nervous if we proceed to EC with only one follie that there’s a strong chance that I end up with nada at the end of all this. I’ll hear more later, but it’s all about the menkul at right now….

Waves to minx, I just laughed at no longer lounging around nibbling sugar cubes in the paddock!

Hi- as I'm new to this site I don't have a clue of the abbreviations if that the correct word. A little help would be appreciated.

hi kerrie welcome to this lovely board...hope your stay is short.

I've been here 3 months, and still struggling with some of the acronyms...but I just ask if I need clarity...so ask away, and we'll explain them all

actually...talking about questions...can someone tell me what "14dp5dt" means...? I understand 14 days past ovulation, but the 5dt has me stumped.

thanks minx, I'd have never worked that out on my own.

This is some of the berry lingo, hope it helps - ask if there is anything I've missed

Instadiffer - someone who gets pregnant straight away/without trying too hard
Clusterdiff - when more than one berry gets her BFP at around the same time - we are hoping for one this month!
PUPO - Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise aka after you've had a transfer
FC - Fertility consultant or fertility Clinic - the people who get us PUPO
PIMP- pissing in my pot - how us laydeez test. None of this peeing on a stick (poas) nonsense. We each have a dedicated pot for this purpose. The classy berries have Gu pudding pots (I have the lid from a Persil liquid bottle )
Pompoms - what we wave, like cheerleaders, to support our other berries. Beaky also has a fine selection of lycra and cheerleading chants
Wang - a dose of grips when we are feeling down and being sad. Usually delivered by a sausage slap to the face
Ladyballs - what we have, in abundance, because we are hard as nails and tough as boots, even though we HATE THIS SHIT
Berrycopter - where we graduate to when we get our BFPs. The graduated berries keep the cushions plumped and make sure there is plenty of room for us to join them.

We also have a seating arrangement, depending on your current state of mind/treatment progress:
chaise longue of limbo for those in erm, limbo
A Hammock of hope, The pouffe of possibility, and the one we WANG people out of - the duvet of depression

And finally - why are we berries?
Well the medical term for a woman carrying her first baby over the age of 30 is elderly primigravida, which someone once noted was quite similar to 'Elderberry Pavlova'
And thus, the Berries were named!

Lovely list spare!

Hi kerrie not sure which other acronyms you might need. There is a massive list of all the regular mn acronyms here that might help with the main ones. I asked you about your mc which is miscarriage. Just ask for any others that you don’t know.

Smidge I agree with rain and tiger that sometimes a break is needed and these aren't easy decisions to make, what tiger says about having to choose without knowing which is best is incredibly difficult. I mean you have two different professional opinions there so how can you really.

Rain I get that thrushy type feeling from the progesterone so it could be that rather than af? Still all fx for you. I think I will be testing early as last time I started spotting prior to otd anyway. I'm not really sleeping very well and am quite crampy but I think this is to do with the progesterone and the bleeding issue at ec with getting to the follicle. Finished my antibis now though!

Tiger thank you. How early did you test if you don't mind me asking? Also what a rude man, and so inappropriate. Glad the rest of the weekend went ok. That's great news about your follicle count, also I have adenomysis, it's basically as you say, where fivers grow into the actual uterus wall and so they change with your cycle and cause heavy periods and pain. I've looked into it a fair bit and it's not thought to affect fertility.

Spare I have a titled uterus as well, I didn't realise it could cause digestive problems. Sorry to hear your not sleeping well either, the waiting is a killer.

Minx how are you today? Has the d&v stayed away? We went to Seaburn beach, which is a bit further up. Im planning more activities for this weekend! When do you think you will test then? Do you have to go in for a blood test on 18th? I told them I'd tested early once and got wrong! So I don't tell them now. I hope we don't have to go back to nibbling sugar cubes in the paddock!

Sesame go your follie! But yes I can appreciate the difficulty of that decision. When we only had one on our last cycle, we had egg collection and there were 4 there. Having said that 2 were no good but we had two to transfer. So I suppose you never know. Hand hold for the time being though. Let us know what the clinic says.

Spare that list is brilliant. I love a good sausage slap to the face now and then. I also used to piss in an espresso cup, but it broke so I have a gu pot now! When are you thinking of testing? Your otd is earlier than mine?!

How are you getting on Clem?

I'm bored out of me head again at work. It's so dull at the moment. Also, get this, my ten month old puppy had her first season about 2 moths ago and has recently started having phantom preggo symptoms! Wtf! She wasn't near any other male dogs so we know she isn't actually preggo but gosh the lactation gave me a shock! Poor little thing is so confused. Apparently this is quite common when they aren't sterilised.

What!!! Fivers grow in the uterus?!! Haha. *fibers

Ffs *adenomyosis.

Ah beaky - love the typos!
If I can't grow babies in my uterus, I'd settle for fivers! . Failing that, I'd also accept a titled one too, maybe The Dowager Duchess of Doom?

Just stopped by to wave some pom-poms for the pupos. Am thinking of you all and be watching closely for news. Praying for a clusterdiff of epic proportions

Just had the call from the embryologist. Neither of our other two made it to blasts and will be discarded tomorrow Bye bye little embies
Just feel under even more effing pressure now for this to work.

spare that list is fab (we really need to find somewhere central to store all of these...)

kerrie one I didn't see on spare's list was:

"baby bombing - when you log into social media to be met with (yet another) pregnancy announcement from friends/family/anyone really. and then because of all the comments and likes, it says in your newsfeed, for ages...no escape"

beaky - going okay thanks, all clomid tablets taken for this cycle...so just need ovulation to hurry up. still having the hot flushes with these tablets tho...not fun, or attractive and getting slightly paranoid, that because I keep telling people I am hot/cold...that they are looking at me thinking "early menopause"

hi to everyone else...sorry not had time to catch up properly as of late, as have one of my degree deadlines looming, and I'm literally working all hours on it (when I'm not doing my day job)...I will get my life back at some point...

Hello i am back in work till 11 pm today. I have been off since last Thursday. I know exactly what you mean with Facebook. And it's people who really don't deserve them and have like 10 already. (Slight oexaggeration). Soo sorry spare all of this sucks.