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Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows (thread2)

545 replies

townsender · 25/01/2015 00:08

Time for a new thread, a sad welcome to any newcomers.

Introducing myself:
Name: Town?
Age: 34
Angel: DD 'G' born Feb14 at 27w by EMCS, lived 12 days (oxygen starvation at birth due to cord prolapse)?
Other DC: none?
TTC/Rainbow: TTC since Nov14, currently incubating a pea

OP posts:
Ducky23 · 23/04/2015 15:03

So glad it went well April Smile

And good luck for Monday Vicky Grin

kayleighferrie1985 · 23/04/2015 22:42

April i'm so glad your procedure has gone well and that your doctor is happy with everything, and also how lovely that you got to see the heartbeat too.
My best friend is someone i've known for 15 years so she's probably more like a sister to me than anything. You're right when you say it's tiring putting on a front all the time- i find it exhausts me more to be honest x

LakeOfDreams · 24/04/2015 11:47

Glad to hear everything went well April. Good luck for Monday Vicky.

Had my 16 week midwife appointment Wednesday. Felt like it was quite a waste of time really. She offered to listen to the heartbeat but said she's not allowed to offer as if she can't find it they can't do anything. I said no as the thought of a silent Doppler made me feel sick. She checked my BP and urine and told me to book to come back at 28 weeks. Was there for about 10 mins, she was a bit funny after I refused to let her try. Told me no one had refused before people love to hear it!! Hmm 5 more weeks till another scan

MademoiselleG · 25/04/2015 15:28

Glad all has gone well April, what a relief!

Lake - what a odd thing for the me to say, about not being able to do anything if she doesn't find a hb, then being funny about you refusing to take her up on her offer. sone really lack tact, don't they? Hope you're not too upset by it.

Ladies, I need your advice. A colleague I absolutely love and work quite closely with lost her baby at 21 weeks back in October. We are in the same department and talk about our losses occasionally; not at work but by text or FB. What would you do in my situation? I'm only12w but showing quite a lot already and I think personally, I would prefer to get a text, perhaps at the w/e, to have time to process the info, rather than suddenly notice a bulging stomach. Equally, I don't want to make my pregnancy into something bigger than it is. I know her well enough but not outside work. Should I text /FB message her? How should I phrase it? Or am I making this into something more serious than needs be?

Ducky23 · 25/04/2015 16:08

Madem, I think maybe tell her outside of work, it may be upsetting for her if she just notices a bump? I don't know though, maybe others will have more useful advice. It's so difficult to know what to do isn't it. X

Ducky23 · 25/04/2015 16:09

Lake, I missed your post! I refused to listen to HB on a few occasions, luckily my midwifes were really nice about it. How strange of her to be funny about it.

Flambola · 26/04/2015 01:25

I'm trying to think of how I would prefer to hear it, and if you only really talk via text then that would be the way to do it. I have no idea how to phrase it though.

The thing is, if I had a friend who had gone through similar to me I might deem her more 'worthy' of being pregnant, strange as that may sound? God what am I talking about?!

I'm trying to compose a letter of complaint to Harvester. I went there for something to eat on Friday and ordered an orange and cranberry soft drink. When it came, it was gross, and I kept commenting that it tasted like alcohol but thought it was maybe just a duff soft drink. My DH tried it and agreed so I just left it. Then the bill came, and it was wine! What if I'd've just knocked it back and asked for more?! I blame the fact the woman didn't write the order down. I don't know if that's policy but if it is, it's stupid.

Anyway. Hope everyone is well. I'm nervous for myself and also experiencing a bit of secondary nervousness for everyone else!

April1984 · 26/04/2015 06:46

Yeah I would def complain Flambola!

Ducky it's difficult to know what to do but I would be inclined to text and give her the heads up. I know what you mean about not wanting to make it a bit deal thoigh. It's not the same but I told my friends recently and before texting telling them on our whatsapp group (I was abroad so couldn't say in person) I text my friend who has had a very hard time getting pregnant so she had chance to digest it before the rest knew. I also was worried about making it a big deal but overall I'm glad I told her separately. I actually know what you mean Flambola when you say about being more 'worthy' it's a strange concept but I did feel when texting her she'd get it more this time than last as although we got pregnant very quickly which is her issue, we have our own issues that come later.

Hope that made sense! Maybe you could tell her by saying she's been a great support so you wanted her to be the first to know?

X

Ducky23 · 26/04/2015 07:49

Totally agree about the feeling that they are 'worthy' !

How awful about the wine Angry definitely put in a complaint!

MademoiselleG · 26/04/2015 07:55

Thank you all. I ended up sending her a very simple text last night, something along the lines of 'I didn't want you to hear it from someone else and thought a text would be less difficult to process than face to face.". Didn't use the word 'pregnant' - just when I was due. She must have been thinking along the same lines as us in the sense that she sounded genuinely happy! I'm relieved she reacted this way, but then she's such a kind and wonderful person that I'm not surprised at all.
Seems like I'm 12+1 today. Not sure how this happened but it feels really rather good...

Flambola what the heck about your drink?!? Quite right that you should complain! How irresponsible of them!

I hope everyone is as ok as can be. We haven't heard from some of you in such a long time. Winter, Anna, Ellie... Sending love x

April1984 · 26/04/2015 08:26

Sorry Ducky/Madem mixed you up in my last message! Glad it's sorted and worked out Madem!

Ducky23 · 26/04/2015 08:27

Ha it's ok April Smile

Glad it went well madem Grin

townsender · 26/04/2015 17:04

Hello folks!

All well hear, and glad to read lots of good scan/stitching/bump stories from you.

I was having a little thought today while reading back through the posts. Madem I'd also noticed we hadn't heard from some folks for a while (which is fine, I certainly go through phases when I post lots and then not at all). But I think so many of us have got our BFPs that this thread has become dominated by bump chat, which might scare of the TTC'ers. I know when I first joined this thread, I so desperately wanted to be pregnant, and even though it is nice to know that lots of other people go on to have rainbows, it is very difficult to read bump chat without feeling jealous.

So what do you think about starting another thread in the ante-natal club section? We can still watch and post here too, to support other angel mums who are TTC and thinking of TTC, but saving our own bump and baby updates for a grads thread. We might pickup a few more people with rainbow bumps too, as anyone in that situation new to mumsnet would look in the ante-natal club section rather than the TTC section.

Only thing is, I don't want to kill the post, as there don't seem to be many TTC'ers left out there (which is a good thing if there are no new angel babies, but sadly I suspect that's not the case).

Thoughts?

OP posts:
townsender · 26/04/2015 17:06

Sorry about the crap typos... hear = here and of = off.
Pedant.

OP posts:
April1984 · 26/04/2015 18:28

Townsender, I see where you are coming from and certainly wouldn't want to put people off. I know when I joined their thread there weren't as many people who were pregnant and it may have put me off it there were. X

Flambola · 26/04/2015 21:36

I think an antenatal thread is a good idea.

CritterPants · 27/04/2015 17:21

lake I still feel really sick before scans and heartbeat checks but the 16 week appointment was the hardest, because I was feeling movement but not all the time, and I wasn't massively showing, and it was just hard to imagine that there would be a heartbeat and too easy to think there wouldn't be. Weird of the midwife to be funny about it. You've been through a massive trauma and however you choose to react is your business - I would have thought she would understand that. So if you're not coming back until 28 weeks - who does your 20 week scan? Are you under consultant care this time?

April glad your op went well. Hope you're doing ok.

flam sorry about your wine experience. A little bit won't harm the baby but I can understand how upsetting that must have been.

madem yay for being past the magic 12 week mark. Sounds like you handled telling your colleague perfectly.

An antenatal thread is a good idea, I think. There were no pregnancies for ages when I joined this one - just a few - and I did find it hard when I lost my summer pregnancy to follow others' milestones with their continuing pregnancies, and hard before I was 'allowed' to TTC post c-section to hear about other pregnancies. There seems to be a cluster of people due in the autumn, which is great - I couldn't face the antenatal clubs so it's lovely that we can all support each other.

All good here, apart from anxiety. Baby is measuring a week and a half ahead and I am huge already. Just want to get him out now, but I've got another 2.5 months to go. Hard to believe that there will be a baby at the end of all of this. I felt that last time, that I couldn't believe there would be a baby for me to look after, even at 39 weeks, and then of course, there wasn't. Praying this time will be different. Love to all.

WinterBabyof89 · 27/04/2015 18:57

Hi ladies,

Seeking a bit of advice.. First meeting with the consultant tomorrow - any ideas what to expect roughly?
Consultant lead due to previous placenta abruption..

critter this time will be different - due some better luck xx

lake nobody needs an arsey midwife, ESP given your circumstances.. Flowers

Does anybody else have random discussions about their loss/child with their DP/family?
Me & DH were reminiscing last night about the fun times we had in labour (before it went wrong), talked about the sequence of events - cried and laughed, talked about my flashbacks & how I cry every time I see an ambulance with sirens on (just writing that down makes me teary eyed)..

I didn't think my DH would talk much about her with me, but he's actually surprised me :)

Well wishes to you all xx

Ducky23 · 27/04/2015 19:15

You must have a big baby critter Grin ds was always a couple of weeks ahead too! Do you know an estimated weight?

Winter, I talk a lot about when I had dd. I was quite out of it on morphine so apparently I was chatting bubbles. I rang a close friend who has a number of dogs and Was asking one by one where each one of them were and what they were doing Grin

WinterBabyof89 · 27/04/2015 19:34

ducky that's hilarious! What must she have thought!! I do hope that she humoured you Grin

It's funny what the mind does under the influence of morphine - I read back some of my text messages that I sent under the influence and they were surprisingly logical & to the point.. Weird..

I requested some tablets to sleep at night, and bloody hell were they strong! I hallucinated for a couple of minutes before I fell into the deepest sleep I've ever had - can't remember the name of them but crikey they were good Grin

vicky123uk · 27/04/2015 19:41

Hello all, so consultant appointment went well, basically I demanded lots of appointments and all scans to be done by consultant sonographer. Even managed to get a scan today. Saw heartbeat etc.....

BUT, why does there always have to be a but! Yet again we have a funny placenta that can cause problems in later pregnancy, last time it was a bilobar (2 lobed) placenta, this time it's a circumvallate placenta... Cue much googling and it doesn't look fun! How I wish I could have a large glass of fruity cider right about now. In addition to this protein in urine and perhaps an infection, had urine tested last week due to repeated headaches first came back borderline, second came back clear... How I wish for simple!!

Really sory for the me me me post, just need to get it all out as thoroughly fed up and don't want to just bitch to hubby about it seeing as he is only one in RL to know.

Hope all you other Angel and Rainbow mommies have had better days x

Ducky23 · 27/04/2015 20:00

She did winter Grin she reminds me of it every time! She was on loud speaker and apparently she was telling me exactly where they were and what they were doing and the waiting for me to ask about the next one :,) although apparently they were all asleep all over the house as it was about 4am (yep she still answered and had a full strange conversation with me!)

Vicky, glad your appt went well Smile sorry there's stress of the placenta, I've not heard of what you mentioned? And the infection Confused i had a water infection with both dd and ds

kayleighferrie1985 · 27/04/2015 20:12

lake i'm gobsmacked at your midwife's reaction! Surely if for your own reason you don't want to hear the heartbeat that's entirely your right?

madem i'm glad everything went ok with your colleague, personally i think you handled it perfectly.

flambola i would have complained about the drink too.

critter sorry to hear you're having anxiety, sending you huge hugs.

winter i talk about Ben's labour quite often, usually due to the experience i had while high as a kite on morphine (and the awful "salad" they expected me to eat) Hmm

AFM i'm not sure that the aspirin i'm taking is agreeing with me, as an hour after taking it i'm left with the most awful migraine, which isn't too nice because they leave me feeling very drained. Might be seeing the bereavement midwife on Thursday though so i'm going to mention it to her.
Love to all xx

WinterBabyof89 · 27/04/2015 20:35

vicky I've just quickly googled your placenta complication - sounds as though you've organised a lot of antenatal care which is fab :)
Sorry that you're having complications again..

ducky thanks for providing me with chuckles haha!

kayleigh hope all goes well with the B- Midwife if you see her.. Sorry the aspirin is making you feel shitty..

MademoiselleG · 27/04/2015 22:43

Winter, you're here!!SmileSmile

I think a/n thread is a good idea. I'd still pop in here regularly but I'd hate to think we might be putting people off. Who will start one?

Sorry to post and run x