Hello Critter, thank you for thinking of me x how are you doing? Really hope all is well with you?
Don't worry you're not off base, I haven't really given too much thought to egg freezing and I don't know, it doesn't really appeal. Somehow I'm so over medical stuff, even though I know it's a way of keeping options open I just don't think I want this hanging over me long term - basically if we aren't going to ttc soon then I will take it off the table, I don't think I can have the uncertainty for too much longer. Dh is still suffering, it's all to do with the trauma of the birth and frankly nothing seems to reassure him that I won't die or another baby won't die. He has to feel more hope than fear, and at the moment he just can't get there, despite trying hard. It's terribly hard for us both and for now all I can do is concentrate on trying to work on our relationship and make sure dd is happy. We have talked adoption but I don't think I'm there yet. It's so exhausting all round.
This week will be our angel's 1st birthday and I'm feeling very low, ive been dreading it so much and just want to hide under the duvet tbh. I know lots of people do something to mark the day but not sure I can face 'a thing', maybe just a walk with Dh, feels right for us somehow. And then the week after is the anniversary of the day he died, I feel so angry sometimes we will always have these dates and won't ever be able to feel okay around this time of year. Sorry, that was longer than I meant it to be
On a brighter note, just got an email saying I've been nominated for mumsnet secret Santa. Feel really overwhelmed and grateful to whoever nominated me, what a lovely thing to do.
Anyway, I can almost hear the tumble weed on this thread, but in case anyone is still reading I hope you're doing ok. Love to all xxx