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Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows (thread2)

545 replies

townsender · 25/01/2015 00:08

Time for a new thread, a sad welcome to any newcomers.

Introducing myself:
Name: Town?
Age: 34
Angel: DD 'G' born Feb14 at 27w by EMCS, lived 12 days (oxygen starvation at birth due to cord prolapse)?
Other DC: none?
TTC/Rainbow: TTC since Nov14, currently incubating a pea

OP posts:
YummyMummy93 · 04/03/2015 21:56

Thank you for all your lovely welcomes etc. it's sad that we're all here but at least we know we have other people to talk too that won't hate any if us for having a moan or anything!

Still struggling with decisions but had realised dear old 'aunt flo' was late so we took a test which was negative.. But it did confirm for me that I miss being pregnant and I am desperate to make my beautiful 3 year old a big sister. I'm still unsure if these are the right reasons but then, will it ever be any different? I'll always want those things so maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

Congratulations to those who announced they're pregnant, sending hugs and my fingers are crossed for you all.

X

EllieandAnna · 05/03/2015 06:01

Congratulations flambola and april!!! Wishing you as stress free a pregnancy as you can possibly manage. Am hoping some of this bfp luck rubs off on me, currently in my 2ww so trying to keep busy and distract myself.

ducky Sounds like you've always got something going on! Hope ds is feeling ok and you get on ok at the doctors. I feel you pain as although I didn't have an episiotomy, I developed an infection and it isn't pleasant.
little Glad your consultant appointment went well. Couldn't give you any advice on delivery methods but hopefully with all the information you consultant gives you, you can come to a decision you're comfortable with.
Kayleigh I'll be thinking of you today, hope everything goes well and being back in the same place doesn't bring up too much.

yummy I felt very similar to you in that I wondered whether I was ttc for the right reasons, I came to the same conclusion though. I was wary of ttc too soon to fill the 'hole' in my life, but I originally started ttc because I wanted a family and that hasn't changed. I'm glad that although you were disappointed it has confirmed how you really feel.

kayleighferrie1985 · 05/03/2015 17:36

yummy i too felt similar to you regarding ttc again. We had to put it on hold for a few weeks due to the consultant wanting me to have bloods done a few weeks after birth, but that time gave us some space to talk openly and make sure we were on the same page.

ellie thank you for thinking of me today.

AFM scan went well, i'm measuring 13+3, and i've got another little wriggler. The sonographer doing the scan was lovely- he didn't assume that today was my first scan with this pregnancy and was very compassionate when we explained about Ben and even told me he had tissues if i needed them, which put me at ease. I asked him about future scans and not going into room 1, and he said to ring up before the scan and ask not to be put in there and the hospital will do all they can to accommodate us. We also got the fantastic news today that ds1 (Brian) has got his statement of special educational needs (or EHCP as it's now known) which is a huge relief as it means he'll get the support he needs through school Grin

MademoiselleG · 05/03/2015 22:20

Wow, so much to catch up on, such lovely news about your BFP flambola and april ! Congratulations and cheers to a peaceful, totally normal and uneventful 8-and something months ahead.
And Kayleigh I am delighted to hear you're already 13+3 - that has gone so quickly (for me - must have felt like a lifetime for you!) and I am so pleased everything seems to be as it should. And how brilliant that Brian finally has a statement. This will really make such a difference to his education and to the provision the school are able to get for him.
Lake you colleague sounds a delight...!
LittleTulip so nice to hear from you and so nice to have good news.
Cake - thinking about you and your dh. I hope you're ok. Please stay - like others have said, it really isn't an actual ttc bus on here, it doesn't matter that you aren't ttc!
Yummy so true what you say about the reasons behind ttc... but ultimately, the dearly hoped for end result is a baby. We have a 3yo dd here too and she is forever asking me why she doesn't have a sister. Why is there no baby in your tummy mummy? Why do I not have a baby sister?...Oh little one, if only you really understood...

AFM - my suspicions were confirmed, positive pregnancy test. I had an early mc though since losing G this Summer and these buses just shows us all too well how badly everything can go in no time, so as I am not even 5 weeks yet, I am trying not to get excited. I jus want to fast forward and know already whether it's worth being happy or whether all my hopes will get crushed again... Oh for the innocence of my first pregnancy!

LakeOfDreams · 05/03/2015 22:54

Kayleigh congratulations a relief to know you've got through the first trimester and got yourself a little fidget too.

Were you nervous before the scan? I know it's irrational but I keep having moments where I just keep thinking it's all going to go wrong at some point. Going to lay off the October groups and FB page for a while as all they seem to talk about are miscarriages and missed miscarriages and the chances and the exact sizes of the babies on early scans, it's driving me a little crazy. I just wish having a stillbirth gave me a free pass for my next pregnancy. I need to stop thinking about it but it's so hard. Not sure quite how sane I'm going to be in another 31 weeks!! (If I'm lucky only 29weeks as they want to induce me at 38)
My mum asked to come to the scan although she is working nights so feel bad for telling her but she seems to think she'll be ok only sleeping for half a day crazy lady!

Congratulations madem, will you get some early reassurance scans this time? Good luck and I hope you manage a stress free and positive pregnancy!!

MademoiselleG · 06/03/2015 07:50

Lake I'm not sure... I probably will as the Fetal Medical Unit will offer me one - but what reassurance does it actually bring?....
Must. Think. Positively.

kayleighferrie1985 · 06/03/2015 07:51

madem it's actually gone quite quickly for me too, i think having the older 2 at school helps because during the week i'm focusing on getting them to and from school and doing homework ect. I'm wishing you a quiet congratulations, i know when i rang EPU at my hospital they said i had to be 6 weeks and they'd scan me- would that be an option for you?

lake i was nervous (it didn't help being in the vicinity of THAT room though) but the sonographer was very understanding. At my hospital they've now updated the scan rooms so you can see the scan on a big tv in front of you (meaning no craning your neck round) and he was very quick in finding the heartbeat for us. For me it helped having that understanding from someone. It's lovely that your mum wants to come to the scan, despite her working nights.

vicky123uk · 06/03/2015 10:26

Hi all, a quiet congratulations to madem here's keeping all our fingers and toes crossed.

Sorry to not name check everyone but reading and running. Waiting for midwife as have home visit for booking in appointment this morning, after that it's going to be a quiet one feeling it bleh... Should be carrying a 6 month old around today ??

kayleighferrie1985 · 06/03/2015 20:07

vicky hope your booking in appointment went well.

AFM today has been a bloody awful day. A fellow friend who is pregnant went for her 20 week scan today and was told her baby had died Sad. It's so awful because while she's my friend, the father of the baby and his brother are the closest thing i have to brothers (our mum have been close friends for 30 years). I've sent my friend a message expressing my sympathy and letting her know i'm here for her, but i have a feeling she'll be giving me a wide berth for a while- which i can understand because i'd have reacted the same way after Ben had anybody close to me been expecting at the time. I so wish life wasn't so rubbish

MademoiselleG · 06/03/2015 22:07

Oh kayleigh ...how bloody awful. A friend of mine miscarried today. She miscarried at 13 weeks a few months ago - a proper kick in the teeth, when you think you're relatively safe. Oh heck, why????

Flambola · 09/03/2015 11:47

Hi everyone, thanks for all your congratulations. I'm still in denial over it. I understand what everyone means about skipping the due date threads. You have the 12 and 20 weeks 'hurdles' to get past, but for us we know how quickly things can change, how sometimes you can get the whole way through and still not come out with a baby. I wish we didn't. Are there a few of us who are due about the same time? I can't keep up with everything.

Sorry to hear about your friend, Kayleigh, and yours, Mademoiselle.

I still haven't had a consultant appointment yet. It's driving me round the bend.

Flambola · 09/03/2015 11:50

... By the NHS website calculations, my due date would be the 2nd November. Which would be my 30th birthday. Wouldn't that be a nice gift? It's all I want in the world!

vicky123uk · 09/03/2015 17:18

Think if everything works out this time round should be due around 18th October. But we will see!

MademoiselleG · 09/03/2015 17:33

And I think winter and I are quite close too. I'm 9th November by LMP. I stalk the November thread but just cannot actually join any of them!

April1984 · 09/03/2015 17:55

Hi all just reading and running. I'll be due by 6th Nov by LMP so similar time to a few of you. It's so scary to think about miscarriages etc. My 'danger' period is the end of the second trimester but there's so many other danger periods to consider too. I am so scared for my 7 week scan next week. I guess we just have to be as positive as possible and just accept it's not going to be an easy ride xxx

kayleighferrie1985 · 09/03/2015 18:18

Thank you madem and flambola.

april i know exactly what you mean, pregnancy is daunting and emotional at the best of times, never mind after what we've all been trough. I hope your scan goes well.

Well my friend's angel was born last night Sad she seems to be doing as well as can be expected. She'd sent me a message this morning so i'm glad she's made contact with me, even though i'd have understood if she hadn't got in touch yet. She's planning to have baby cremated and the ashes buried with her dad which i think is a lovely idea

LakeOfDreams · 09/03/2015 20:10

Kayleigh glad to hear your friend is doing as well as can be expected.

I'm due 9th October although should be induced around 38 weeks so hopefully a late September baby.

Flambola · 10/03/2015 10:58

I'm glad your friend is doing ok, under the circumstances, Kayleigh.

My consultant appointment has finally come through for next Tuesday. I hope we can get some answers. I also need to tell my GP I'm pregnant but I'm a bit scared, would you believe it?

April - when's your scan? I can totally understand your fears, I think it's just a case of taking it a day at a time.

April1984 · 10/03/2015 11:48

Sorry to hear about your friend Kayleigh.

Flambola - I have my scan is on 18th March. I live abroad and luckily have good insurance and so they would scan at this early stage regardless of me being high risk (I'd be just under 7 weeks then). I will also be having a cervical length check I imagine. I then have to make arrangements to have my cervical stitch in the UK (I found a specialist there) at 12 weeks. I'm going to be so scared to book flights and jinx things! We haven't really told anyone - have you? x

Flambola · 10/03/2015 12:11

Oh that's good, I was wondering about an early scan myself. I've told my sister and my very best friend but that's it. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up (!) and I'm barely registering any excitement myself so I think I'll just leave it until I start showing or something!

April1984 · 10/03/2015 12:23

Yeah an early scan is quite nice if possible as once you see a heartbeat the risks drop significantly. I had one with my first but at 9 weeks. I know what you mean about not being that excited, it is not even my angel's due date yet and so I feel bad getting excited about another baby.

kayleighferrie1985 · 10/03/2015 16:25

flambola glad your appointment has finally come through, i'll keep my fingers crossed you get the answers you want from it. I can also relate to you saying you're not really feeling excited this time, as i'm not either.

april good that you have your scan date, and that you've found a specialist who can do your cervical stitch. I can understand your concerns regarding the flights.

AFM i've had to get the midwife unit to move my 20 week scan forward 2 days because my next consultants appointment was originally the day before my scan and he wanted to see me after so rather than having the scan on the Wednesday i'm having it on the Monday now. I'm pleased it's sorted out though.

vicky123uk · 10/03/2015 18:32

Tmi alert..... I'm fed up of brown snotty discharge! Why oh why can't we all just have a really boring uneventful 9 months... Grrr!

Rant over!

Kayleigh glad they got your scan sorted.
Flambola you'll have to let us know how it all goes
April good luck with the stitch!

Hope everyone is doing as well as possible x

Ducky23 · 11/03/2015 14:03

Hi guys, sorry I have been AWOL!

Am on my phone so sorry not to name check, am going to read back through the thread.

Something has been bothering me recently, I know it's a long way away to be thinking about this, I'm an atheist so do not think there is anything after death, how will I explain dd to ds when the time comes Confused and when? He's only 13 weeks but I already show him her pictures and tell him it's his sister but it has really been bothering me recently.

Hugs to everyone x

kayleighferrie1985 · 11/03/2015 16:31

ducky my friend has been thinking exactly the same as you regarding explaining about Ben to her youngest (her dd was 10 months when Ben was born) and she's decided honesty is the best approach if and when her dd asks about Ben. My friend and her dd often come up to the grave with me and so the questions will probably start sooner rather than later. Is your ds feeling better now? xx